To Give And Take

CHAPTER 11

After her mother divorced her father, Lucy was quickly seperated from her twin sister and her mother, but it never made any difference to her. It was said that twins have a special bond that forms in the womb. Oftentimes, this connection is subconscious — meaning it's below conscious awareness.

40% of twins invent their own languages. Identical twins have different fingerprints. Twins can have completely different skin tone, they start interacting in the womb at 14 weeks. In her case, everything was different, she was neither close her mother nor her sister, they practically never shared a bond. Her mother's biased love towards her and her sister had given her more reasons to walk thesame path with her father.

Despite her father's love she had always been greedy for her mother's attention and acknowledgement, a wish that never came through as she watched her mother walk out of the house with her twin sister. Not once had she turned to look at her ten year old daughter who had yearned for her love and affection.

'Daddy, does mother hate me?'

Her hidden thoughts had escaped her heart through her lips, but they expressed her heart felt experience and feelings.

'No she doesn't, she's just a little biased.'

It was unknown if those words of assurance from her father had helped, but the gloom in her heart had lightened in a few degrees. As long as her mother didn't hate her , she was contented with the little bit of love she gave.

A year after her mother's divorce, she attended her wedding with her father and watched both men, ex and present husband exchange pleasantries and a hand shake with a smile. Her mother didn't seem embarassed but her bashful smile added more charm to her exquisite make up. She seemed to be more happier with another than with her father, while her sister who had bullied her was very amiable towards her step brothers. It was contradictory to her attitude towards her twin sister.

'Wasn't it too tiring to wear a mask every' day she thought as she watched adults smile when they were clearly in pain inside. Being friendly when they obviously had hatred and envy burning in their deepest core.

Lucy had no idea when she developed the keen ability of observation, but it was probably another reason why her sister hated her.

'sister, do you hate me?'

She had always been good at expressing her thoughts, never holding back any hint of grievance that brought her injustice. Perharps her frank words had been a reason why she wasn't well liked in school, but she never thought it was wrong.

'Why would you think so?'

Preciouse asked with a teasing smile, that was sweet and innocent with a hint of coquettishness. People had always loved this smile of hers, but she felt that the smile was too fake, yet she held the urge to say it.

'You've never been good to me like you had been with Michael and Maxuel Perez.'

'Is that so?'

Preciouse appeared to be seriously pondering on it, but after careful observation she could see through her teasing expression filled with mockery. Despite knowing about it, she decided against disclosing her thoughts.

'Yes, does sister hate me?' She asked a little anxiouse, her naïve and innocent expression annoyed Precious even more. Looking at her twin sister with whom she couldn't compare with in beauty, aura and charm, she gritted her teeth in hatred. It would wrong to say she hated Lucy, but it wasn't right either to say she liked her.

Without much effort she became popular with a glowing beauty that was not easy to go unotice. She had both beauty, grace, knowlegde and talents. Without much effort she represented purity with an image of divinity and a cute personality.

Her efforts to achieve so much had been in vain and she had to wear a mask every day, but she still could never compare with Lucy's natural achievement.

'Figure it out yourself.' Her condescending expression made her arrogance an obviouse reality that Lucy hadn't understood. If she could figure it out herself, she wouldn't have approached her twin sister for an answer.

She never once asked and Preciouse Grey became Preciouse Perez, but her question had never received an answer, even in front of her father's grave. In her mind, the answer to the question lay at the corner, but she refused to say it, perharps being too frank had made others despise her.

It was only when she turned fourteen that her step elder sister who had been living in another city came to province C. Her father had told her about his rebelliouse past that had led to her elder sister's existence while he was barely nineteen. Stacey had grown up with her mother who later got married and brought her to allong to her husband's house. Her dad had been in touch with her, spending time with her once in a while. She had no impression of this elder sister of hers, till the day she walked into her life with her children and husband.

With an elder sister, she finally felt what it meant like living with a family, a big family including her two nephews and brother in-law.

When she had almost turned sixteen, her pillar of support had left her on her own, she could be considered a child without a mother before she became a child without a father. The words of condolences had rained upon her a whole morning, yet none had given her a sense of comfort.

Her father and elder sister who had died in a car accident, living a widow and her nephews. Her world suddenly became very empty, like a bottomless hole.

'Come and live with us, you would have both parents and two caring older brothers.'

Her sister's tempting offer rang next to her ear like a reminder that she wasn't alone. It was also reminder that she was still under age and her father had never left her a guide, due to his unpredictable untimely death. She couldn't follow her brother in-law either because she didn't want to add more burden to him. She knew nothing much about her father's family either, limiting her connaissance.

Even if she had a brother in-law and two lovely nephews, she still had to part with them.

Against her will she moved into her step father's house and met her two step brothers, Michael and Maxuel. They were amiable and gentle towards her, treating wholeheartedly with love and affection, but she felt suffocated under their care.

Her step father looked at her with interest, but she felt that his burning gaze was too deep and made her uncomfortable.

With competitive brothers who's gentleness seemed to seep through their bones, she had more love than she had received from her sister. A step father who's caring affection far surpassed her understanding made it easy for her to ignore her mother's indifference and biased treatment towards them. But ignoring her sister's bully and slander became too difficult, yet she perseverred.

She persisted for a whole year, hoping to save herself from the shackles of blood and the restriction of age. Until that unfortunate night, she remembered everything clearly, because it became her deepest trauma till date.

In order to celebrate her seventeeth birthday, Preciouse took her out together with Michael and Maxuel. Despite her resistance, she was pulled and pushed to that private room where two other girls and an unfamiliar guy accompanied them.

The neon lights made her eyes squint with displeasure, while the booming and rock and roll songs gave her a headache. She had never liked noisy places, a karaoke was even less appreciated. She had wanted to live several times, but Preciouse wouldn't allow it.

Lucy had no idea how long she had stayed there, but she was cautiouse not to take anything weird, fortunately everything ended without an accident. She rushed home to rest, drinking a glass of water to alleviate her throat.

She had laid on the bed with a dizzy head, but when she was woken up by the lewd and disgusting sounds of graoning and moaning. Looking at her sorrounding she realised that her environnement had changed, she had no idea how she came to this place.

This familiar, yet unfamiliar place, three bodies were intertwined together, thrusting and hitting with screams that caused her face to turn pale. She had no idea why she was here, but watching that scene, the fear in her eyes became more obviouse. Her body was weak without much strength and she was placed in a center to have a clear view of the horrible erotic scene.

Despite her fear, she pinched her body and bit her tongue to wake her senses up, ignoring the pain and bruises on her lips, she leaned over and caught a fruit knife, using it to s***h her wrist, while avoiding her veins. Perharps because those people were in a c****x, they hadn't realised that she had walked away, they didn't even think of closing the door either, probably sure the d**g would keep her pinned down at their disposal.

She struggled out of the room and stumbled out with her bleeding wrist tied with pieces of her clothes. With a pale face that was as white as a sheet of paper, she stumbled out with great effort. When her strenghth was draining to it's limit she stumbled upon her step father, Ferdinand Perez whom she regarded as her saviour.

But reality had proven her that life was cruel after all, her savior would only give her a chance to live in the premises that she became his woman. But she would rather die than acquiesce, so gainst her will he tried to take her away, she was desperate and fustrated. Pulling, pushing, biting and shouting with a voice that had become as low as that of a cat, yet her cries were ignored. Multiple images of that disgusting scene scared her out of her wits and she saw herself being devoured and torn apart by a beast. No matter how hurt and loud she cried and pleaded, her voice sank into the sea.

'No, don't... don't touch me .. don't...I beg you to stop...dis... disgusting... don't come close...'

Her pleading voice wasn't heard, her body trembled and convulsed, hoping she could jump down to her death, than wake with memories of that day.

"Lucy....Lucy wake up, it's a nightmare."

As if she had been pulled out of an abyss, Lucy suddenly opened her baby blue eyes that had lost focus. Despite the fact that she was staring deeply at him, he knew that she couldn't see him at current.

Her pale face was covered with beads of sweat and her unfocused and weak expression evoked men's protective instinct towards her. Her reaction now was clearly the sequaela of trauma, a trauma that hadn't been overcomed.

"Lucy..." Austin spoke with a gentle tone that seemed to carry with it a sort of magic, his big palm was gently placed on her smooth cheek. He tugged the hair that was covering her face behind her ear and gazed at her with gentle eyes, gently calling out her name with his magnetic baritone voice, it rang like a beautiful melody, pulling Lucy out of her revery.

"Austin ?" Her voice was weak and tentative, but her gaze was no longer out of focus.

"I'm here." Austin replied with a gentle and warm magnetic voice that carried with it a lot of charm. It was a rare gentleness that even Jane wasn't privileged to witness, but he gave it to her.

"I...I am so tired." She had used up her last bit of strength to mouth those words before slowly closing her eyes at Austin who was squatting in front of her. She didn't know where they were, but for some reasons she felt relieved that Austin was there. She closed her eyes with a peaceful mind, she really looked tired.

The nightmare just now had exhausted her, mentally and physically, Austin understood that concept, he was only able to help her regain her calm because he had studied psychology in the past.

"Alright, go to sleep." He stood up and took her into his arms, carrying her with him, he had no idea what had caused a relapse in her trauma, so it was best if she could rest for while.

*~*

"Chance." Béatrice called out to her fourteen year old son as she walked into his room which had been well decorated to meet his taste. On a study table, a young teenager with chestnut hair sat with focus, black spectacles hung on his nose lazily. His chestnut hair was neatly combed to the back, a few strands lay lazily on his forehead giving him a handsome scholarly appearance.

Chance who had heard his mother's call slightly raised his head and looked at her with his coffee brown eyes that were hidden behind his black spectacles. After a quick glance he returned his attention towards the book in front of him, Béatrice didn't mind either. She knew that when Chance was studying he didn't like being distracted, but her heart ached to see her son work so hard every day.

"You don't have to work so hard you know, mummy's heart aches for you."

At a time when children enjoyed their holiday, her son had to burry his head in his book, she couldn't understand why but no matter what she tried he wouldn't change. In the past he was a bookworm, but today he could even consider himself an encyclopedia.

"I'm backward compared to Britney, as a man I can't fall back."

People who are raised in cultures that value competition are more likely to be competitive. These people are more likely to be competitive when they measure their self-worth by comparing themselves to others.

People who wants to be recognised and praised, do favour competition. Some people believe in competition because they think that it leads to favourable outcomes. It gives them an edge over others, Chance was probably in this category, he was raised by her family who were competitive. It is more likely to say her son had been honed into a competitive kid by her family while she studied for her PhD.

After she came back she was able to marry Austin Kingston and brought her son in with her. His family situation was peaceful, void of plots and competitiveness, so Chance gradually lost interest in competing. He was already considered very smart in his class, with a step brother at home who wasn't considered smart enough, his competitive attitude diminished greatly.

However, she was now married to Elvis Kingston, who's wife had divorced him ten years ago, leaving him with a fourteen year old daughter. In normal cases, both children should have been able to get along better due to their short age gap of barely three months. However, for some unknown reasons, none of them seemed to appreciate each other's presence, they even developed a weird means of communication by competing against each other.

"You really have a weird way of communicating with your sister."

Chance frowned but didn't refute his mother, he hadn't acknowledged that girl yet, but in order to please his mother, he swallowed back his grievances.

"Mum, is uncle Elvis better than da...uncle Austin."

Béatrice who hadn't expected the sudden question from her son looked at him with surprise. It was a question that she had also asked herself after she divorced Austin and married his eldest cousin.

Life with Austin could not be considered bad, neither was it good. He had treated her well, but when love is replaced by mostly cold judgment, then the warmth fades, and the relationship becomes an empty shell.

Her marriage with Austin was an arranged marriage that she had initiated with her parents, a live long wish that finally became true. Even though Austin Kingston had already warned her before hand that he would give her everything as a husband, he made loving her an exception. However, she didn't mind it , she thought as long as he looked okay, falls within a suitable age bracket, comes from the same social strata, and had the qualities of an ideal husband she would give it a try.

Back in their school days, she had fantasized about Austin Kingston several days and nights, wishing she could make him hers. However, before she could execute her thoughts, Anna had Ben had been faster than her and even bore a son for him, while she gave birth to a strange man's son.

After Chance's birth she travelled abraod for her master and PhD, despite that her desire to marry Austin hadn't changed over the years. Anna Ben's death was an opportunity that she didn't miss out.

However, after being married to the man who had claimed on their first meeting that he could give her everything except love, she realised that what she wanted from him the most was what he would never give her. He treated her well with as a henpecked husband would who could obedieny, but couldn't be tamed. His coldness had frozen her heart, while his good attitude towards her had made her wish for romance.

Everything she ever lacked from Austin, love, excitement, romance and worship from a man, Elvis gave it to her. This was one of the reasons why she cheated on a perfect husband like Austin who had never treated her badly nor cheated on her

Whatever the case, she learned that a marriage without love stunts the growth of the two parties involved. In this case, she either had to walk away or stay, of which she choose the later and walked away.

"Isn't uncle Elvis good?" Béatrice didn't mind that her son hadn't changed his form of address towards Elvis, she knew that he needed time to adapt.

"Uncle Austin Kingston was an apathetic block of glass, a complete contrast to uncle Elvis, don't you think so?"

Chance lowered his head and looked at his book with a thoughtful expression. He didn't deny his mother's description of his previouse step father, though he had never suffered nor had any lack with Austin Kingston. What he had lock lacked more was a respond and recognition of his value. He needed praises and recognition in order to elevate his value in other's eyes. However, his previous step father was unemotional which made it difficult to differentiate between his every smile and frown.

He felt pressured to be faced with his majestic aura that carried with it nobility and power. He also felt that no matter how much he worked hard he would never be his reach. It was a pity that he didn't share his gene with his stupid son didn't either.

The thought of that previouse step brother filled Chance's thoughts with disdain, his current life wasn't the best, but it was good.

"It's good."

Béatrice exhaled a sigh of relief and smiled warmly with a relaxed expression.

"As long as mum doesn't regret it."

Béatrice had just sighed of relief, but her son's next words caused her to feel frozen on the spot. she seemed to have become numb from his cold words, causing a mess in her mind.

"Chance, why would you ...say that ?"

Chance immediately stopped scribbling in his book, he raised his head, his coffee brown eyes glistened with innocence. His teenage gaze had her reflection on it, clear and pure without any other meaning to it.

"Mum, I'm only fourteen."

As a child he had no right to meddle in adult's private life, he always kept his boundary. As a child he only had to grow up healthily and make a better plan for his future. The adult's world was a complex solution that he had never tried to solve, 'X' couldn't be easily found in this case.

Béatrice didn't say anything, so Chance turned his back on her, he failed to see his mother's sudden complicated expression, a contrast to her previouse relief.

'Will you regret it?'