The Professor Who Shouldn't Want Me

Lost Cause

POV: Henry

I woke up at 5 AM sharp, got dressed quickly, grabbed my car keys, and headed out. Boston's streets were still dark, and traffic wasn't bad. I parked near the running trail and got out; it was the best time to run, empty, just me and the path.

I started running, the icy air filling my lungs, the cold wind hitting my face. It was all bad, uncomfortable, and that's exactly why I did it. It was the only way I could clear my head, the only hour of the day when I didn't think about anything but the damn cold gnawing at my bones.

After that, the worries would return: the problems, the responsibilities, the frustrations, the traumas. Everything would go back to its rightful place in my mind. But at least in that moment, I was free. The pain of the cold for an empty mind; it was a fair trade.

I finished the run, out of breath, mouth dry, feeling both cold and hot at the same time. I got back in the car and drove straight home. The sun was already coming up when I arrived. I took a quick shower and made myself a hearty breakfast. I had to be at the office by 8 AM; I had a few cases to prepare and still had to teach in the afternoon.

"Morning, Dave.", I said as I walked into my office and saw him sitting in the chair across from my desk.

"Did you run today?", he asked, staring at me as I sat down.

"What happened?", he always asked me that before delivering bad news.

"Have some coffee, I got you what you like.", he pointed to the coffee on the table. I ignored his question, and he ignored mine. I sighed, picked up the cup, and took a sip.

"Spit it out, Dave.", I said impatiently.

"The Hopkins case, there isn't enough evidence to press charges."

"What?!", I exclaimed.

"Of course there is! I analyzed the police reports myself, I stayed up all night preparing the..."

"The report was tampered with.", he said calmly, and I just stared at him for two seconds, then rubbed my hand over my face, too annoyed to say anything.

"I know you put a lot of work into this case, that's why I wanted to tell you in person."

Just two sleepless nights down the drain, but it wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last. Occupational hazard.

"Alright, let's move on to the next one."

"Actually, how about you take a breather? Just for today."

"No, I'm fine.", I replied, already opening my laptop. "Let's go to the next one."

"Henry, seriously! You've been working too much."

"When was the last time you went out with a girl? Had some fun?"

"I don't have time for that."

"Then make time!"

"You deserve to find a nice girl, get married, have kids, start a family..."

"And not spend the rest of your life cooped up in this office."

David Miller was a prosecutor, just like me, in his 40s, and the closest thing I had to a friend. Maybe that's why he was so insistent that I find someone, he wanted the best for me, and maybe he was right. But it was hard to think about starting a family when you'd never really had one.

"I like what I do."

"Yeah, I can see your beaming smile."

"Obviously, when things go wrong or don't go according to my plans, I'm going to get annoyed."

"That's why you need to blow off some steam once in a while, find some distraction from this job."

"I already distract myself by running."

"That's not enough, you need a woman."

"Someone waiting for you at home, making your dinner, complaining that you're late, that you bought the wrong brand of tomato sauce.", I laughed.

"Excuse me, are you still trying to convince me?", I smiled at him, and he smiled back.

"How are Ellie and the kids?"

"They're good. Ellie was trying to set you up on a blind date."

"No way.", I smiled. "I'm not doing that again."

"Then get out there and find someone on your own!", he stood up. "I gotta go now.", I nodded as he headed for the door.

"Henry!", he looked at me before leaving.

"Okay, I'll... think about it."

"You really are a lost cause.", he said and left.

I spent the rest of the morning preparing other cases, and after a quick lunch, I went to the university, hoping that at least in that class, I wouldn't have to kick anyone out, like I had to in the previous one.

If there was one thing that drove me nuts, it was dealing with arrogant rich kids who thought they were too good to respect any rules or norms. And Harvard was full of them.

Fortunately, the class was quiet, and by 7 PM, I was already home, thinking about what Dave had said. I had gotten used to being alone, I had been like that for a long time, so why change? I sighed and looked at my phone screen.

"Damn it.", I went to find Dave's contact.

"Okay, set me up on a blind date.", I was about to type the message when I received a call from an unknown number.

I stared at the screen for a few seconds and declined the call, blocking the number immediately after.

"I know it's you; you jerk.", I threw my phone down, irritated.

There it was, the reason for my solitude, my reluctance to find someone, to have a family. I don't know what that's like, at least not in the right way. The only things that come to mind when I think of family are losses, traumas, and frustrations.

"Maybe I really am a lost cause."