Emotionless Badass

Chapter 10: In A Closet With Lana

Ben's POV

"How much is it?" I asked rubbing my jaw while I watched him look defeated and utterly exhausted. I refused to lose him and I know that Heath has a fighting chance, but we just don't have the money to give him that chance.

I try my best to bring in good money to rack up enough but every fight night I only make about a hundred or two hundred. That's supposed to be enough for food, bills, necessities and Heaths medicine.

It just never seems to be enough for treatment, and that makes me so f*****g furious. "Don't put it on yourself Ben. You can't over work yourself. It's all good, Ill find a way just don't stress over it." He said as he stared over his book. My mind wandering over the fact that if I don't make enough, I won't ever see him look over his book again.

The smallest and faintest idea flowing through my mind, her simple words "I'm donating all of it." I couldn't help but think the selfish thought. Maybe, just maybe, if I get close to her, if I let her in...she'll donate some to Heath.

"Yeah yeah." I brushed him off grabbing the jacket off the dresser "I'll be back in a couple hours." I said watching him give me a nod as I walked out the room and down the steps.

This is the idea I've been pushing back since I first heard her talk about, but now I'm desperate. I'm willing to open up to her, maybe even fake a romance with her.

Kicking a box, I scowled at it in annoyance, "f*****g fuck." I muttered.

Even though we've been here for a few weeks, boxes still sat around the halls and on the stairs.

I've debated on just unpacking them when he's not here. Marvin's a piece of s**t, no dad to me, and when he goes out drinking, it's the only time I can come home.

I kissed the top of moms head as she laid on the couch asleep. She wreaked of alcohol but I just filed that into familiar scents of her. She drinks to pass the fact her sons dying, the other sons doing the one thing she begged him not to (fighting) and her husbands a d**k.

I'd drink too.

Going out the door, I shut it behind me and began my long walk.

The more I walked, the further down the streets, the more she slipped into my mind. The way she looked in her big glasses and the way she massaged her wrist, rolled her neck, scowled her face and her damn laugh.

Lighting a cigarette, I eyed the bad habit and wondered when I had picked it back up again. Honestly I couldn't remember if I tried, but I've quit a few times. Guess it just isn't sticking. Taking an inhale, the smoke filled my lungs and I exhaled, the calmness running over my mind before her smile filled my thoughts.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair frustrated.

Come on Ben, you don't need to be stressing about a girl, just make her fall for you, make her pay the treatment.

Making my way down to one of the loud roaring streets, I watched as college students filled the lit up buildings. Lana's voice in my head as she emphasized the word 'Man'.

"Nah man just grab the two from my back seat."

I turned and eyed Lana's dream boat. This town is too f*****g small for me, why is it that I run into everyone I don't want to?

Staring over at the fuckface Jace across the street, I watched as he shouted to another guy before looking beside him to a cute little brunette. She leaned into him and stood on her tiptoes giving him a deep kiss.

Well, that's gonna hurt Lana.

Sighing, I took a deep smoke before shaking my head.

The guy headed inside the bar with the girl and his buddy who just left his nice ass car. 

I pulled the quarters from my pocket, putting three between my knuckles before walking past his red car taking a smoke and shoving my fist into the car dragging it over the paint.

Eyeing the three long scratches, I walked away placing the quarters back in my pocket and grinning.

Something about that felt good, maybe it was because I hated his smug ass face and the way his car costed more than enough to pay for Heaths treatments.

Leaning against the wall, I waited for a good two hours at one of the small tables outside the coffee shop. Two coffees and three cigarettes later, I watched him walk out with the girl on his arm.

He walked to his car and I leaned back in the chair watching him freak out over the marks, looking to the car next to him and then arguing with his buddy stressing out.

Karma, you rich f**k.

Getting up, I walked off and down the street, turning a couple blocks mindlessly before I stopped at the driveway. My eyes running up to the room that was lit up, and I watched as she walked past her open blinds with a pencil in her hair and a confused look on her face.

She shut the book annoyed and tossed it before taking her glasses off and letting her hair down, I lit another cigarette as she lifted her cat off her bed scolding it.

Her big eyes matching the cats before it hissed and jumped from her arms. She eyed her wrist before running her hand through her hair stressed.

I watched her pull the sheets and blankets off her bed and walk out the door with them. I'm guessing the cat pissed on her bed.

When she came back with a soft new blanket, she tossed it on the bed and slipped off her pajamas pants, turning and tossing them to the bed. Her ass looking plump in the pink panties and I wondered how many other guys have seen this, or felt it for that matter.

Slowly she sang a song with her head nodding and she eyed her phone doing a small dance while she texted. A smile sprawled over her face and she laughed shaking her head and tossing the phone on the bed.

I laid my hand over the mailbox, laying my chin on it as I watched her with a knowledge that this was absolutely creepy. Yet I can't help it, Lana in her natural habitat is...well she's-shes beautiful.

Lana stretched and eyed the phone with furrowed eyebrows before she answered it. I couldn't hear but as I watched her look to her door with a frantic look, I knew it was someone she shouldn't be talking to.

She ran her finger to her lips, softly biting her nails with wide worried eyes. What are you up to?

I watched her nod and then say yes before she smiled and then hung up. As she did a small happy dance, she moved to the mirror and stood tall, examining herself proudly. She did another small dance and felt a smile grow on my lips. She pointed to her reflection scolding it before giving it a wink.

Well, she's definitely crazy.

As she went to pull her shirt off, she paused and dropped her hands back to her side.

Her realization must've dawned on her because she made a worried face and shut the blinds, a smirk growing on my lips as I turned and walked back to the house.

She'll be easy to get to, I just hope on the way I don't do anything stupid like grow attached. 

The test was pretty easy, and even though I haven't studied a moment of it, I knew id pass. This schools teaching everything I learned already in my other school.

Fifth period came and I tried to ignore Misty's continuous babbling.

She gave me a migraine with her insane talks about f*****g every man she sees. Lana was right though, she's slowly growing on me, growing like a damn tumor.

"I'm telling you! Kyla is perfect for Ben." Misty went on explaining all the ways Kyla was good for me.

Lana scoffed "We hate Kyla, with a passion." She said sounding dumbfounded that Misty would even suggest that other girl. I wondered if she was jealous, or if she even cared to think of me in that way. It'd help to know where I need to start with her. Should I do the friend route, or the relationship one? 

I just sat back and watched Lana focus as she filled in the worksheet, "Yeah but we don't like Ben either." Misty said gesturing toward me with a smirk.

Staring at her, I c****d an eyebrow and with Lana eyeing her paper she scowled "We like Ben, he's the third amigo." She said friend zoning me into a whole new direction.

Ouch. Well I guess that answers that question, friend route it is.

"I guess, but don't we usually have to talk about this before we bring new comers into our clan? It's always been just us." Misty said eyeing me in suspicion.

Lana stared over at me and then Misty "Who better to complete our clan than someone who can't stand people? I mean you want to f**k everyone, I want everyone to fear me and well he just hates everyone." She said sounding like she made a bit of sense there.

She leaned back massaging her wrists "Ben are you coming to the party tonight?" She asked me as I noted that one of the buttons on her blouse had popped open to express more cleavage than normal.

I stared at her desk "Sure." I muttered hoping it sounded as careless as I wanted it to be.

I'm not sure I was up for watching her drool over a douche bag who was f*****g someone else but hey, maybe she'll get so upset about him that she'll run to me for some broken hearted s*x.

"Yay! We'll meet you there then! Be there or be square!" Misty said smiling at me. Honestly she's beyond bipolar.

I nodded and as the bell rang, I got my backpack watching Lana stand and bend over to fix her knee high socks. As one of the guys rushed past her, the skirt fluttered up and for a moment, I got the quick glance of a lace black underwear. She quickly stood and straightened the skirt out grabbing her backpack and heading out the door.

Her and Misty left the room and I waited a few minutes before I headed to the gym locker rooms grabbing my duffel of clothes from my locker and opening it up.

Changing into a T-shirt and a pair of jeans, I shoved my uniform in the bag and put the bag back in my locker. I'll wash it all Monday.

I went back into the halls putting my backpack in my locker and walking out the empty school.

Lana was parked in the front still, she was smiling and talking to an older man who's car was parked beside hers. She was flirting and being very kind with a big smile over her face. I lit a cigarette and leaned into the wall watching her.

She nodded and brushed her hair behind her ear "I would love that, thank you. I can bring more of them Monday or you can come by and pick them up. They've been freshly published." She said pulling the box from her trunk.

The asshole just stood there as she carried the big box and put it on the floor.

She opened it and pulled one of her books out handing it to him. Only they weren't the books for children, they were thick novels.

He took the book nodding and going to put it back in the box but he dropped it on the floor beside the box instead. I watched him nod "I'll get back to you but we'll first see how these ones sell Alright kid?" He asked leaning down and picking the box up.

She smiled "Of course, thank you Jackson." She said going into her car as he headed to his with the box.

Ducking my head, she drove past and he soon followed.

I walked over to the parking lot picking the book off the ground, my eyes adjusting to the title. 'Delving Into The Mind'

Turning to the back I read about how this book in my hand was an intro into why people do what they do. She'd written an entire book on why people do things.

Flipping to the first page, I began walking to the park by my house. After fifty pages, I reached the park and sat under the covered gazebo on my favorite bench.

I'd become consumed in the book, she wrote so much on it. She wrote why people become alcoholics, and that it's okay to not know what to do. This book was almost like therapy, for the ones affected by troubles around them.

She talked about abuse, cheaters, drugs, s*x addictions, fight, killing, the rage, sickness, death and then the one chapter I read over carefully. In fact I read the chapter three times to let it process. Suicide.

The way she wrote about it, I couldn't help but feel connected to it, it's not that I've ever tried but her words made you feel like you could relate.

Lana was a writer, and not just a sick child's dream book, no she wrote for all of the ill minded.

After a good four hours, I stared at my watch and noticed the party would be starting in a two hours. I shut the book, folding the corner on the fourth page of 'Why People Lie'.

Going to the house, I noticed Marvin's bike gone and headed inside to my room. I placed the book on my desk and pulled on a jacket adding more deodorant and sliding on more comfortable shoes.

Walking to Heaths room, I smiled over at him "I'm going to a party, want to join?" I asked as he laughed and shook his head. "I've had my fair share of parties. Go enjoy, maybe get laid. You need a normal teen life." Heath said walking toward the bathroom.

I nodded and went down the stairs to see mom eating pizza and looking at me with wide eyes pointing to the pizza. I shook my head "I'm good ma, you eat." I kissed the top of her head and walked out going to the party house.

To my surprise, the party was already roaring with people, I headed inside and grabbed a beer taking a drink and letting my eyes search for her.

She stood in the middle of the floor dancing with Misty. A set of cat ears on her head and a tight little dress clinging to her body, tan legs running down to a pair of black heels. She turned her back to Misty grinding down and back up her friend with eyes closed and a smile.

She swayed her hips and moved her body to the music, I took a drink and watched as she walked to a couch sitting and taking a drink from her cup.

A tap came to my arm and a brown eyed girl smiled at me "Your first party?" She asked me trying to start conversation.

I gave her an annoyed look ignoring her and walking to the main commotion leaning into the wall watching Lana and some guy talk. Her eyes where all over the place though. She was searching for that douche Jace.

The guy was making out with some girl in the hall though. I know because the halls to my right and I got a clear view of it.

Lana stood and followed the guy to the large circle on the floor. The bottle on the floor spinning.

Memories flowing back in my mind, I watched them all take their chances and spin mindlessly. They where all completely unaware of the fact that they can calculate just how much force and pull back they need to do to make the bottle land on a person.

It's how I always managed to get the girls I wanted.

Lana went to sit and I moved myself into the circle sitting and taking a drink of my beer waiting.

It was going clockwise and the people didn't just kiss, they disappeared with a girl upstairs.

"What's this game?" I asked the girl next to me.

Her eyes looking up at my face and down my arms "Spin the bottle seven minutes in Heaven style." She said smirking.

Interesting.

I watched Lana try to sit without flashing everyone, her laugh spilling over the crowd and into my ears.

She looked around at the crowd of people playing and I turned my focus to the beer in my hand. It felt like she was staring for a while before I looked up and saw her smile wide at a guy.

Turning my attention to Jace, he sat down in the circle smiling over at her "I'll try to get you." He called to her.

A couple laughs came out from others followed by some guys saying they also wanted to land on her.

Misty was two people down from me giving me a smirk "I'll f**k you." She said low giving me a wink.

I scoffed and drank some beer, her attention moving onto the guy beside her.

He spun and it landed to a guy, the birthday girl pointed to the girl beside the guy "First girl to the left!" She called.

As Misty spun next, she landed on herself and took the hand of the guy to her left hurrying off.

The girl beside me spun and when it landed on a nerdy guy she cringed but stood and headed off with him.

Good sport.

I did a bit of physics before I gave the bottle a spin.

Sitting back, I knew it'd land on her because I've never failed before.

Lana was talking to Jace and as the bottle stopped on her, I looked from the bottle to her.

The guy next to her gave her a small nudge and she looked to him then the bottle. Her eyes moving from the bottle to me. She smiled softly and then looked longingly toward Jace before standing.

I stood up and walked with her to the stairs where a girl was taking us to a room. We headed into a room that was at the end of the damn hall and there's almost fifteen rooms in this huge ass home.

We walked into one of the closets and she shut the door saying "Have fun!"

Surprise hit me.

I'm in a closet with Lana.