Memories of Tomorrow (Original, English Version)

28 - Oliver Taylor

When the adrenaline level came down after hearing she’s fine already, I dropped down on a chair feeling drained and weak.

Christan was clutching his head beside me. I can smell the alcohol from him. I knew he’s intoxicated. I had Charles investigate and settle the matter for me. I won’t be getting his report anytime soon, though.

“I may not have told you to protect her, but how could you put her into trouble like that?” I finally demanded.

I was having light conversations with a few business partners when we heard about the commotion. When someone said it was happening in the bar, I ran as fast as I could. The scene didn’t make sense to me. Several unconscious men were scattered on the place, lying on the floor or slumped on something. Lee was slumped on a table, face down. I only realized it was her because Christan was moving frantically beside her. When I got closer, I heard him talking on the phone, asking for an ambulance. When I heard that, I was confused. Why an ambulance? That’s when I started feeling dread behind my back. When I turned Lee to face me, she was clutching her side and I noticed the flow of blood on her dress when I touched it. That black fabric was deceiving. When I saw that she’s still conscious, I tried talking to her, keeping her conscious at least until the ambulance arrives. The way she seems to endure the pain is heartbreaking.

“Tell me. What exactly happened?” I tried hard to contain my anger and annoyance.

“I don’t remember. When I came to, she was already wounded. I’m really, really sorry.” The grief on his face made me relent. I could wait for Charles or I could ask Lee when she wakes up.

A nurse came to inform me that Lee has been transferred to a private room after the surgery. I didn’t even realize that her wound was that serious. I felt cold all over remembering that moment they needed to revive her breathing on the ambulance, on the way to the hospital. She lost so much blood.

I turned to look at Christan. The way he refuses to look at me already tells me that he feels guilty. He must have done something that contributed to the situation.

I stood up and went ahead. He’ll talk when he wants to.

Lee woke up the next morning. I stayed with her the whole night.

“Did I break my ankle? It’s swollen, isn’t it?” She mumbled as she tried to sit up. Her painful expression got to me.

“You had surgery on your right side. Don’t move too much.” I adjusted the bed so she can lean back properly.

“Do you want to eat? Should I tell Charles to get your favorite food?”

She gave me an odd look.

“Soup would be nice. Grilled pork belly. Some green salad.”

My parents visited after hearing what happened. Christan brought them to the hospital. The doctor checked her while they were there, which made me a little uncomfortable.

My parents haven’t met Lee previously, but whenever we meet as a family, Cara and Christan would bring her up and they would tell some things, which are mostly superficial. Cara tries to portray her as a good and kind woman. My parents are not too happy with it, especially after hearing her condition and her lack of background, as well as what she’s currently doing. Right now, they’re polite enough not to say much in front of her.

Right after the doctor finished his check-up, providing me with the prescription and what to watch out for on her diet, Charles came in.

I already asked Lee what happened, but she didn’t say anything. She said she saw a guy approaching them with a broken bottle and she doesn’t remember anything further than that. The next thing she remembers is seeing me when I turned her to lie on my arms. I asked her multiple times if she’s sure and that she can safely tell me what really happened. All I got was an unamused look from her. I could interpret it as “you think I’m lying?”

Christan was practically the same. Because he was drunk, he doesn’t remember much. But I knew there’s something they aren’t telling me. They both have that guilty look. I try not to make assumptions.

Charles provided me with the video of the incident. There was no audio, though. Christan stood on my left side while Lee’s sitting on my right. We watched it together.

They seem to be talking only. No unnecessary contact between them. That assured me a bit. Then, Christan trashed the beer bottles everywhere. Lee stood beside him and seemed to be apologizing to people on his behalf. A few minutes went by before a couple of men approached them with broken bottles. One swung towards Christan. At this point, Lee was clutching my arm as we watched. But then, Lee on screen blocked that man’s attack and she attacked him instead. We all frowned. Is that martial arts or something? Her movements are smooth. It seemed like self-defense. My head hurts trying to think. Even when the second man ran forward, she was able to deflect getting hit. Other men joined in to throw punches, but Lee has beaten them all up. She threw punches and kicks, even throwing some men over her back. Christan on screen just stood there while watching. It was only when the first guy successfully hit her on her side that Christan moved to beat him up. Lee slumped on the table and it was a while before I saw myself on screen.

Lee loosened her hold on my arm.

“That can’t be right.” Her troubled expression got to me. When she put her head on her hand, I knew it will be bad.

“Don’t think too much. If you remember anything, just let it happen.”

She gazed at me, then. She stole a glance at Christan for just a second before staring at me again. She spoke when she looked down.

“I… I’d like to apologize for what I said. I didn’t mean any of it. I’m sorry.” Her voice was clear when she said it. Her left hand wrapped around my arm as she said it. I realized she’s talking to Christan.

When I looked at Christan he took a few steps back from the bed. He was smirking.

“What do you mean? You don’t mean any of it? Are you sure? You practically hit the nail on the head. You were just saying the truth.” His expression turned serious and solemn by the end of his statement.

Lee exhaled at my side. “What I meant was… we’re not close. I don’t really know you. I was in no position to say those things to you.”

“It doesn’t matter. Really.” Christan sat down on a chair, staring at the corner. We have no idea what they’re talking about. I glanced at Lee and saw her opening her mouth but not saying anything else. She shook her head slowly and before I knew it, she was crying. I was surprised but I embraced her. Her cries did something to Christan, though, as he started crying as well. He laughed first before actually crying. Mom, who was silently listening on the other side of the room, went to him and embraced him. He shook his head slowly as well. Smiling, yet crying. Dad went over to stand behind Mom.

It was a while when Christan finally broke down and that was the first time we’ve seen him that way. His wailing made Lee’s cries louder. What did these two talked about?

Nearly an hour later, our parents escorted Christan home. He didn’t say anything. When I turned to Lee, she was exhausted herself. I let her lie down and rest.

“What did you guys talk about?” I softly asked, running a hand through her hair.

“His wife.” Her low voice barely reached my ears. When I heard her answer, I could already understand the situation.

“I don’t know how it came to that point. Initially, we’re talking about you. Then about me, and eventually about him. How his view on marriage somehow changed because of his wife. I asked him questions. Something like… why do you think your wife cheated on you? Why didn’t she consider your kids? Did she badly want to get away from you? Have you done enough to make her stay? What were you lacking that she eventually left? Something along those lines. I know I was wrong. I shouldn’t have… It must have hurt him a lot.” She sighed as she told me what happened.

“He snapped after that, scattering all those bottles. When he did, I just knew I went overboard. I don’t know his situation. I don’t know what his relationship with his wife was like. Ugh, this mouth…” She started hitting her head lightly with her fist. Her explanation explained a lot, though. Since his wife’s death, I haven’t seen him shed a single tear. Mostly, I thought he was angry. I thought he must have felt bad to cry for her given the circumstances. None in our family wants to talk to him about it, mainly because we felt that he didn’t want to talk about it. We’re in denial. He’s in denial. He didn’t want us to see how much it affected him. Staring at Lee, I actually wanted to thank her for helping Christan get if off his chest. I sighed. But not in this kind of situation. He snapped and he just have to attract trouble. A fatal trouble.

“Stop crying. You did good. Christan needed that truth slap you delivered. We didn’t have the courage to tell those things to him, but he definitely needed it. He knows that.”

Lee must have felt guilty provoking Christan to think about those things that hurt him. And Christan must have felt guilty snapping and causing Lee’s injury. And me? Personally, I’m guilty for letting her out of my sight.

She held my hand as she tries to get some rest.

“What do you want to eat for lunch?”

“Soup and meat.” Her answer was practically the same request she made for breakfast.

I’ll have Charles rotate dishes on that request.

“How are you feeling?”

“A bit of a headache. Don’t you have work today?” She closed her eyes then. I sat properly on the bed.

“It’s Saturday.” I answered, reaching out to massage her temples. I smiled when she groaned her satisfaction.

“Charles working overtime again?” She’s usually conscious of the little details. She feels bad whenever I ask Charles for overtime.

“He likes the extra pay.” My comment made her snort, which made me laugh lightly.

“Does he still need your extra pay?”

“It’s more like he likes to be busy.”

“How are you feeling?” She returned my earlier inquiry.

“I’m good.” I frowned, not knowing why she would ask that.

“I’m sorry for making you worry.”

Instead of answering, I pressed a kiss on her head. She fell asleep afterwards.

Christan visited again towards the evening. Lee’s awake, lying down quietly but wiggling her broken ankle. I gave her a stern look several times. I can’t understand why she’s doing that when it’s obviously causing her pain.

“You good?” I asked Christan a few minutes after he sat down on a corner. He reached out to grab an apple.

“Fine.” He answered gruffly.

“Why are you here?” I narrowed my eyes at him. Given his breakdown earlier, I didn’t think he would be out early.

“Want to grab a drink?” He gestured outside the door.

I turned to look at Lee. She grinned. “Go ahead. Stop staring at my ankle.”

“Stop moving your ankle.” She only rolled her eyes at me.

I sighed, nodding at Christan. We went out the door and he immediately sat on the nearest bench.

“What is it?” I asked as soon as I sat down.

“Go ahead. Marry her.” I wasn’t expecting that sentence from him. I raised an eyebrow in question. He grinned.

“I was trying to dissuade her. But she’s tough, that one. She’s honest and not a coward. I like her, but she’s not my type. You’d better make her my sister-in-law.”

“What exactly are you on about?”

“She would be a good friend to talk to, from time to time.”

I groaned. “You’re not allowed to talk to her unless I’m present.”

His laugh sounded really amused.

“I thought you wanted to grab a drink?” I raised an eyebrow.

He stood up. “What do you guys want to drink? I’ll bring it over.”

I pursed my lips. If we weren’t in a VIP ward, the hospital would kick us out upon seeing the alcohol.

That night, Christan joined us in the ward. We silently ate dinner.

“Are you here to talk or what?” I asked when we’ve been sitting for half an hour already after dinner.

“I don’t know.” He started. Lee exchanged glances with me and smiled. She seems to be saying “wait for him to talk.” I just realized that he really needs someone to talk. He can’t possibly talk to the kids about adult things and he doesn’t live with any of us as well.

“Your questions… I decided not to answer them. It just makes me crazy thinking about it. It doesn’t matter to me if she cheated or not, the only truth I know is that she’s dead. If she’s still alive, I would’ve done anything to make her love me again. That’s what I know I’ll do.”

Lee gave me a look. I raised an eyebrow in question.

She sighed. “Well, I would disagree on that one. If someone cheats, I would beat him to a pulp. But… in your case, I’m not aware of all the factors. You have your reasons and that’s that.”

I can’t help giving her an odd look, but thinking about it, I would probably agree with her. Cheating is not something I could easily accept and forgive. Christan turned to me and I had to express my own opinion on the matter. He laughed lightly when he realized Lee and I are of the same opinion.

“But I guess her being dead, that must have affected your view on this. You’d rather she cheated but still alive.” Lee added. I guess she’s right. It’s as if he’s ready to forgive anything than to lose her completely.

“How are the kids?” Lee asked.

“Surprisingly, they don’t ask anything. They comfort me. When I finally told them that their mom died, they cried but they easily accepted it. It was as if they were prepared to hear about the news.” He sighed. That was the first time I heard about it. I stared at Christan. It seems the kids are doing better than their dad.

“Are you fine now?” I can’t help asking.

It took a while before he answered, “Better, at least.”

“What do you plan to do now?” I followed-up.

“Take the kids to vacation. I’ll take a couple of weeks off work.” 

“Good idea.” Lee commented.

“You’ll take a few weeks to recuperate from your injury. You’ll be taking vacation, too.” I told Lee.

“How long? I don’t think my employers would give me leave again.”

“I’ll take care of it. You stay at home and rest.” I already had Charles arrange something to cover Lee’s absence from work.

“How long?” She repeated the question.

“Two to four weeks, depending on how you heal.” I answered.

Her look was disbelieving. “Up to a month? And you tell me to stay home?”

“Well, I’m taking you home with me. If you’re able, we can go on vacation, too.”

“Ah…?” Her reaction made Christan chuckle.

“Why don’t you join us?” He offered towards Lee. I gave him a side-eye.

“She’s not joining you.” I flatly told him.

“Why don’t you join us as well, then?”

“I still have work, and she can’t for the first two weeks.” I replied.

He simply grinned. Lee was looking amused.

“After two weeks, then. I’ll send you guys the details.”

“I don’t want to stay at home for two weeks, though.” Lee argued.

I stared at her.

“We’ll talk later. You can do anything you want.”

“Why can’t you talk now? Are you guys treating me as an outsider?” Christan asked. Yes, I am.

“Yeah, don’t butt in.” I still feel uncomfortable about him spending time with Lee, with or without the kids. Just seeing that video of them having a lengthy conversation already made me envious. When I turned to Lee, she gave me suspicious look.

“Huh. You’re quite possessive. Most girls don’t like it.” His comment made me contemplate. I saw Lee nodding. I sighed, a little displeased.

Christan turned to Lee and talked to her. “If there’s something he did or said that you didn’t like, you must tell him. Don’t keep it to yourself. Untold resentment could lead to misunderstandings. You have to be honest about how you feel. Scold him if you have to.”

Lee actually chuckled at his advice. “How old are you? You’re younger than Oliver, right?”

“I’m thirty, but I got married earlier. I was twenty-four when I got married. Between the two of us, I’m more of an expert when it comes to relationships.”

I was tempted to tell him how his relationship didn’t end well, but he’s still my brother. I can’t hurt him that way. Lee exchanged a glance with me, before smiling at Christan.

“You giving advices now? Should I tell him anything he does that annoys me?” She sincerely asked my little brother. They seem to be ganging up on me now.

“You should. Otherwise, he’ll start manipulating your life. He might tell you to simply stay at home when you guys get married. Being a housewife can be boring if that’s not what you want.” His sudden turn of the conversation to marriage is disorienting. He shouldn’t mention it for now. Lee’s still not interested in that. I sighed.

“Nah. I don’t want to stay at home. I like working. I can’t imagine doing nothing.”

“How about when you have kids? Would you stay home, or would you hire help to care for the kids?”

“Tough question.” Lee replied. It made me think as well. Personally, I’d like to have first-hand experience of taking care of my children. I want to watch them growing up.

“I like kids, but…” She started laughing comically.

I smiled at her antics. “But what…?”

“But not unruly kids. I’m gonna be tempted to beat them up if they’re annoying and without character. I like your nephews, though. They’re gentle kids.”

I found Christan smiling. He’s proud of his kids. They really are wonderful kids. Tanya raised them well, that much is true.

“I feel like you’ll be a disciplinarian when you become a mother. Your kids would be well-behaved.” Christan’s comment made Lee silent.

“Haven’t really thought about that yet.” Her serious comment made Christan pause.

“What? My brother hasn’t proposed to you yet? You guys haven’t talked about marriage and kids yet?” His questions just made me want to slap him.

“That’s enough. You should go home now. Aren’t you planning a vacation with the kids? Ask them where they want to go and what they want to do.” I approached him and he stood up willingly. He looked at his wristwatch.

“You’re right. I will take them home tonight. It’s not yet late. They shouldn’t be sleeping already. I’ll see you guys around. I’ll send the invitation after two weeks, alright?”

I nodded and ushered him out the door. Lee bid him goodbye as well.

When I turned after closing the door, Lee already lied down on her bed. Sitting must be tiring to her as well.

“Why are you standing there?” She asked when I didn’t sit next to her. I stood a meter away from her bed.

I ran a hand at the back of my head, a little unsettled. I admit I still feel insecure with my relationship with Lee. It feels as if she could let me go if she believes I deserve someone better, regardless of who I actually want to be with. I want her to be selfish and claim me as her own. I sighed when I saw her trying to sit up again.

“I told you to call me if you’re going to sit up. You’ll strain your wound.” I can’t help scolding her. She doesn’t seem to care about her well-being at all.

“What is it?” She asked, leaning back on the headboard.

“What is what?” I wasn’t able to follow her train of thought. “You’re tired, you should sleep.” She already lied down earlier but she had to sit up again. She puzzles me.

“You look like there’s something bothering you. Spill.”

“It’s nothing.” My response was so immediate I almost regretted it. We both knew it was a lie.

“Christan said I should tell you off. If there’s something on your mind, say it. Don’t overthink. Don’t try to figure it out yourself, especially if it involves someone.”

I sighed and sat next to her when I heard her advice. Well, at least she listened to Christan. Normally, she doesn’t tell me off for anything. If I don’t offer information, she patiently waits, never forcing me to share anything to her that I’m uncomfortable sharing.

“I wish you would be a little selfish.” I glanced at her, before directing my gaze on the other side of the room. She’s looking in that direction, too.

“Selfish?” I know she’s confused and have no idea what exactly I meant.

“How much do you like me?” I decided that she’s right. Instead of overthinking, I should simply ask her outright. If her answer does not satisfy me, I should do something to improve the situation.

She was silent. “How do I even…?” Her statement made me remember that I’m practically the first guy she liked. She won’t be able to make any comparisons.

“Right now, I can only say that you’re the person I like the most out of everyone I know. How much that is…? That is the question.”

“If some woman comes to you and tells you to break up with me, saying she’s better than you in material aspects, she’s from a well-known family, and that she would be more fit to be my girlfriend… would you ask me for a break up?”

She remained silent, but at the corner of my eyes I can tell she’s thinking it over. She has this habit of wringing her hands when she’s nervous.

When her hands stopped, I turned to look at her. I was surprised to see her crying.

“Hey…” I touched her chin to take a better look at her, but she turned to face away from me. What did I do? I wrapped an arm around her shoulders as I tried to comfort her.

“I’m sorry.” I can only apologize.

When she calmed down, I told her, “Tell me.”

I think she’s trying to find the words. She searches for them as she turns her gaze at the ceiling.

“How do I say it? When I imagined what you said… a part of me felt like I would really do it. Break up with you. But at the same time, it actually hurts just thinking about it. It would break my heart. Have you ever experienced feeling an ache near your heart?”

I already expected this answer from her, but I’m glad to know she wouldn’t be happy with such a decision.

“This is why I want you to be selfish.” I took her left hand in mine.

“What do you mean?” She’s so innocent sometimes.

“If that situation happens, you should flat out refuse. You should decide to stay with me. You shouldn’t think about other things. You should only focus on the fact that I like you and I want to be with you, no matter what. If you really like me, that is. For once, be selfish and take me for yourself. Don’t try to act like you want what’s best for me. Someone better? That’s utter bullshit. If I want you, I want you and no one else. Choose me. No matter what.”