Fated to the Alpha's Touch

2-"Distraction."

I found myself sitting on a sports center bleacher after walking away from the embarrassment I had mindlessly caused myself. Remembering what I had done back in the corridor, I felt like I just wanted to go home and hide again from everything!

I mistook someone to be my late fiancé, even knowing so well that it was no longer possible for Lucas to come back to life because he had died six years ago. I lost him in a tragedy, and there was no way I would ever see him again. I really must come back to my senses!

Recalling how I lost him in an afternoon tragedy made my heart feel like it was getting crushed so many times. It was like torture.

A week before our supposed wedding date, we took an out-of-town trip to a beach to celebrate our remaining days of being single people. It was what we had agreed on. I was so excited about becoming his wife, and yet I didn’t know what awaited us. Had I known, I would’ve instead suggested another trip, maybe even until now, Lucas was still here, and we were already married, happy together, and starting a family of our own. I always blamed myself for it. This thing had been my regret for the past years.

It was still so fresh in my mind no matter how old it already was, that that afternoon, while I was busy grilling seafood, I let Lucas go sailing on his own. He was strong, and he always loved beach activities, so I was sure he would be safe and nothing bad would happen to him, not knowing that it was actually the very last moment I would be seeing him alive.

He was away already when the weather began to turn gray. The clouds turned dark, and unexpectedly, huge rainfall and thunderstorms attacked. My chest pounded, so worried about my fiancé’s safety in the middle of the sea. I called him so many times to return to the shore

but he was no longer in my sight when even the waves started to hit bigger and more turbulent.

I began panicking. I shouted my fiancé’s name for help, rescuing him. There was no longer a way for me to be at ease knowing he was sailing alone while the weather was so bad and the waves were strong. The people from the island and the rescue team helped search for Lucas, and I almost lost my sanity while crying and not stopping until we found him. I insisted on going with the boat to search for him, but the rescuers didn’t allow me no matter how I begged, it was too dangerous if I would go so they suggested I should just stay and wait patiently.

However, the saddest part was that I was positive and full of hope when I saw that they had recovered the boat Lucas used. I thought he was there with them, and they were able to rescue him, only to crash my world with their sad news that they only found the boat but not Lucas himself. They didn’t see him anywhere, no matter how deep and distant they had already gone to search for him.

I cried so hard. I did not want to believe it. I wanted to go, to run to the sea and look for him myself, but then everybody stopped me because it was too dangerous, given the not-so-good weather.

Over the past several days since that dark afternoon, we never stopped looking for Lucas, but there wasn’t a trace of him anywhere. Also, the weather gradually turned back to normal, and the sunshine rose again after days of gloom, but Lucas was still nowhere to be found! Every day and night, I cried to sleep because I didn’t want to lose hope. I kept praying and wishing that he would return to me one day, and together, we would fulfill our promise to each other that we would hold hands for the rest of our lives.

I disregarded and ignored people telling me that there were huge possibilities that Lucas would never come back anymore, because he might have already died at the sea. According to them, maybe he had been hit by giant waves, or worse, the different sea creatures might have eaten him, and that was why we couldn’t find his body anywhere. I would never want to believe any of them. I even hated the possibility that I had lost forever in a tragedy. For a long time, I held on to the thought that I would still see him again one day, that he would go back, and that he would ease away the worries and pain I had.

But he never did.

He never went back. He was not found. The supposed wedding day had passed, and even weeks, months, and years, and yet we were not able to see him. A part of me was telling me that it had been a long time, and I waited every day of my life, so maybe it was finally time to let him go, but another part of me was struggling so hard to move forward because my heart sank with him that one sorrowful afternoon.

I wanted to pull the time back to the days, and I would choose to be with him again. I would ask and insist on going with him sailing, so that at least, if he died in the sea, we died together. There was no way I could ever cherish anyone as deeply and devotedly as I did with Lucas.

I gathered myself together and prepared to go to my first class. I didn’t want to cry again the whole day without actually doing something to better myself than I was yesterday. One of the promises I made to Lucas before I returned to school was that I would finish my degree this time, no matter what, and would not give up. I would not let my loneliness rule me again. I needed to move forward with my life.

I was about to go. However, somebody suddenly blocked my way.

I looked at who it was and saw two girls raising their brows at me, giving me an annoyed, ready-to-pull-your-hair look.

“Uhm, excuse me. I need to go to my class—” When I was about to pass by them, the mean girl in her pink crop top blouse smirked at me.

“Are you even aware of how serious the trouble you caused earlier?” she asked me.

“Trouble? What trouble?” I asked back with genuine confusion.

What were they talking about? What trouble did I do? I did not do anything—

Oh! I finally remembered what they were saying. It was about me hugging that guy I mistook for my late fiancé.

So, was he this famous that any girl would actually block my way and attack me just because I mistakenly hugged him?

I sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I thought he was someone I knew, so—”

“What a bullshit excuse!” The other mean girl cut me off harshly. “You’re probably a transferee, aren’t you?”

“Uhm—” I was about to say that I was not a transferee, I was just an old student who dropped out and now decided to go back. However, she cut me to my words again.

“Just to let you know, you weren’t the first one who acted dumb so that you could get Paul Maddison’s attention! There were already several like you who attempted to do it, but they all ended up miserable! They even stopped going to school, and almost all of them dropped out because of the humiliation. Take this as a warning, girl.”

I didn’t say a thing, I honestly didn’t care. It was just a mistake I made earlier, and I swear, I would not be acting like a fool again! They didn’t have to warn me because I was not interested in anyone who wasn’t Lucas.

I flinched in shock when the girl in a crop top suddenly grabbed my arm. “Stay away from their group, okay? Stay away from Paul Maddison, do you get it?”

She released my arm, and they both threw me one last deadly glare and a bitchy smirk before they walked away and left.

I sighed and shook my head. I would not let this ruin my entire day. I had to go now and find where my classes would be.

Unluckily, I found out later that those two bitches happened to be my classmates in the first subject of my morning classes. I was just relieved when some of my classes were in different courses and classrooms so I wouldn’t be able to see them anymore.

I was an irregular student with back subjects, and thus, irregular schedules were expected.

Looking back, Lucas was in his third year of college when I first met him, and it was the last quarter of my freshman year. We dated the first few months of my sophomore year. He was my first love and the only man I allowed in my life. When he proposed marriage to me after a few months of dating, I immediately agreed because I knew in my heart that I wanted to marry no one but him. I was certain that he was the one for me, and I would not look for anybody else because I was already content and happy having him. I was aware we were still both young, but I never made it an issue not to accept his proposal. We also used to talk that after we married and even though we already lived together, we would still finish our studies.

He was only twenty-one, and at that time, he took up Fine Arts. On the other hand, I was nineteen back then, madly in love with him. At that young age, I already dreamed of becoming a housewife for the very man I had dreamed of marrying. However, a tragic event happened, resulting in my dreams getting shattered into pieces. He left me forever while I remained alive, yet wounded because memories of us together kept haunting me each day.

I sighed as I stood at the classroom door where my last subject for the morning classes would be. It was a Biology class I wasn’t able to finish after I dropped out and detached myself from everything when Lucas died. After the tragedy that took him from me, I just felt like I lost interest in everything. All I did was to jail myself inside my room, hug my pillows, stay in my bed, crying and praying that one day he would come back to me to ease all the pain away.

Six years had passed, and I knew I had to let him go. It would not be easy, but I should choose the path of healing…

At the moment, I was twenty-four years old, and old enough if compared to my new-generation classmates, but age shouldn’t hinder my way to getting up and succeeding, right?

I opened the door, and almost everyone’s eyes turned to look at me. I realized that the class was already starting and I was late by a few minutes…

“Hello?” the female teacher asked. Good thing she looked smiling and nice, and not a terror.

Although feeling a bit shy, I asked about my class number, and she confirmed it.

“I’m sorry I was a few minutes.”

“It’s okay. Get in. We just started so no problem. Anyway, it will be a good idea if you go here in front to introduce yourself so we would all know you.”

I nodded, followed, and stood in front.

When I looked at my classmates, I was completely surprised to see that the guy I had mistook for Lucas in the corridor earlier was actually here in this class, too! And he was with his group of friends! They were sitting at the back.

Wait, are they going to be my classmates?!

My eyes stayed at their group. The two girls whispered something towards each other while they looked my way. The wavy medium-length hair seemed to be confused, but at the same time amazed, the snub one looked and grinned lazily as if she was both annoyed and bored. The big bro figure was serious as always, and lastly, the playful guy was tapping Paul’s shoulder while whispering something to his friend.

I was suddenly intimidated and distracted, especially looking at Paul’s intense eyes staring into mine.

“H-hello, everyone. I am Cassandra Moore, but you can simply call me Sandra. I’m a second-year student, taking up BioChemistry.” I stuttered, and I hated his effect on me!

I should not be affected, but I couldn’t help getting distracted! He really looked a lot like Lucas!

“Nice to meet you, Sandra, and welcome to your Biology class. Please find a seat now.”

I nodded and silently walked to find a seat that had not yet been occupied. However, I was unlucky because the only seat left unused was the chair next to Paul Maddison! Damn it!

I hesitated whether to go there and occupy it, but then what choice did I have?

When my eyes landed again on him, I saw he was still looking at me. Wait, was he even blinking?

I avoided his gaze and went to the only available chair. I didn’t want to make a scene or create a conclusion and confusion for the folks here, and besides, I didn’t want to cause a distraction for the whole class, too, so I just really gained the courage deep inside and got seated.

I pretended to be all eyes and ears to the lessons the teacher was discussing in front but the truth was I really knew that Paul was still looking at me. I could feel as if his eyes were burning to my soul. I did a side-eye to subtly check if I was right, and yeah, I was really never wrong. I knew, too, that he knew I could feel he was staring at me, and he didn’t seem to mind.

What a rude way to distract me! How insensitive!