The Hybrid's Hope

Chapter 11: Request

Hope

After a fun night with Levi, we slept a few hours before getting up to spend the last few hours at the beach before having to check out and head back to the pack. Now that I have my apartment in the city and I know that Alpha Liam is expecting me, I want to pack up my things and head in with him tomorrow morning. Since he has to leave early to report in, I’ll be leaving early with him.

Rather than drive home with my family, I decide to drive home with Levi. There is something that I want to talk about with him and I’m glad that we’ll have some time alone to talk without anyone listening in.

“So, I have a favor to ask you, Levi,” I say after we’ve been on the road for a while.

He glances over at me from the driver’s seat. “That sounds serious.”

“I want you to hear me out before you say anything, okay?” I say. I already know he’s not going to like this.

“Okaaay. Why don’t you just tell me so we can discuss it.”

“I want to keep our mate bond secret … for now.”

I watch the muscle in his jaw tick and his fingers tighten on the steering wheel, like I expected.

“Are you ashamed of me, Hope?” he asks quietly.

“No! No, Levi! I could never be ashamed of you. You’re amazing. You’re an amazing man and Alpha!”

“Then why, Hope? I’m ready to tell the world that you’re mine. Why aren’t you ready to tell the world that I’m yours?” he asks and I can hear the hurt in his voice.

“Levi, you don’t know what it’s like …”

He looks at me and the hurt in his eyes so painful that I nearly back down. But I have to do this.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be bullied. You don’t know what it’s like for people to use anything and everything against you, Levi. If word gets around that we’re mates, and I’m not wearing your mark, people will assume that you don’t want me. They’ll make it seem like you’re using me and …”

“There’s an easy solution for that, Hope. Let me mark you. I’m ready. I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ll tell anyone who says that you’re not worthy of love just how wrong they are. I know that I’ve never been bullied. I know that I haven’t experienced what you have. But this time, there’s a way to shut your bullies up. Wear my mark. Wear it proudly, just like I’ll wear yours. Then they’ll have nothing to say.”

“Levi, please …”

He swerves off the side of the road and gets out, pacing in front of the car.

I get out of the car slowly, not used to seeing Levi this angry, at least not at me.

“I love you, Hope. Malcolm loves you. We love Qadira. We want you, both of you, today, tomorrow, forever. But I understand that you never expected to have a mate, and I understand that you need time to realize that the Moon Goddess doesn’t make mistakes. But now I can’t even tell anyone that you’re mine? And your reasoning is that you might get bullied because others will think I’m using you? First, I will f*****g kill anyone who says that. Second, just say the word, Hope. Just say one little word. Just say yes, and there’s nothing for them to say anymore,” he growls.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” I say, wishing I could just say yes. It would make everything so much easier and I want to say yes. I desperately want to forget who I am and say yes to this man. But I know my mate as well as he knows me.

“Are you willing to give up having children, Levi? Because you know how I feel about that. It’s not a risk I can take. I can’t do it. Are you telling me that you’re willing to give up your dream of having a family so you can be with me? Are you?” I ask.

It’s the one thing he and I have argued about over the years. Children. He’s a wolf, an Alpha. His desire to continue his line, to have pups, is nearly as strong as his desire to find his mate. But I can’t. No one knows what my children will be like. They could be deformed. They could be hybrids like me. Or maybe they would be normal, a wolf or a bear. But that’s not a risk I’m willing to take.

He stares at me, not answering.

“Until you can say yes to me, I can’t say yes to you,” I say quietly.

He walks over and cups my face, gently wiping the tears I didn’t know were falling. Then he presses his forehead to mine.

“I will make this vow to you, Hope. I’ll help you search for your biological father. In doing so, we’ll search for any scientists who might have been involved in any way in the research that was conducted on your mother. If they have information that can prove that children produced between us will be fine, then I want you to agree to my mark and having my children. If … if they don’t, if they can’t prove that our children will be what you consider normal, because I don’t f*****g care if my child is a hybrid, then …” he sighs. “Then I’ll agree to not having any children and you will accept my mark. Will you agree to that?”

“What if we can’t find …”

“Will you agree to that, Hope?” he interrupts.

“Yes, Levi. If we can find a scientist who can prove that our children will be normal, I’ll agree to having your children.”

He nods and takes a deep breath.

“We’re young. We have a lot of years to search and find someone, anyone who can give us the information we need to make our final decision. Until then, I won’t lie to people, Hope. If anyone asks, specifically my sister, or the other Guardians, I won’t lie to them about our mate bond. But I won’t proclaim you as my mate like I want to either. You’ll have to accept that as my best offer.”

It’s more than I hoped for. I wasn’t sure the Alpha in him would agree to keeping our bond quiet.

‘It says a lot about how much he loves us that he’ll do that for us, since I know Malcolm must be howling in his head right now,’ Qadira says. She is sad too. As an animal, she doesn’t care that she’s a hybrid. She’s strong enough in the animal kingdom that her being a hybrid doesn’t make a difference. The wolves respect her strength even if their humans do not.

“Just so we’re clear, I have every intention of finding a way to prove that our pups and cubs will be happy, healthy members of society. That day will be the happiest day of my life because it means that I’ll finally have everything I’ve ever wanted in this world, you and our own little family.”

He pulls me into a hug. We hold each other for a moment, just breathing the other in. “We should get going. You have a lot of work to do to get packed when we get back and I know my sister and Alpha Eli will want to hear all about your birthday weekend.”

For the first time in my life, Levi and I sit in uncomfortable silence for the rest of the way home. I can tell his mind is already working through how he can change my mind, how he can convince me that we can have perfectly healthy children together.

But he’s not the one who suffered nearly every day for the last eight years. He’s not the one who has had to listen to the whispered comments, or wolves getting in my face making derogatory statements about me and my beast. I would never, ever wish that on anyone, especially not my own children.

I know Levi is holding out hope that there will be someone, somewhere that can give him the answer he wants, but I have no such hope. I am what I am, an anomaly, a freak, and I refuse to bring a child into this world to suffer the same way that I have.