“I’m not blind, you know.”
“No, but you are distracted,” he says. “And that’s almost thesame thing. You need to relax.”
“I am relaxed!” I lie.
Nikolai turns to me and reaches out. With him coming towardsme and no idea what he has planned, I freeze. Then his handsland on my shoulders. Slowly, he pushes them down fromaround my ears.
At once, I feel my body unclench. A pressure inside of mereleases slightly.
“This,” he says, “is not relaxed. You’re tense.”
“I know,” I sigh. “I keep thinking about Elise. About whathappened this morning. She’s my responsibility, you know?
And I’m… I’m failing her.”
I glance up at Nikolai and then away, too nervous to see theway he might be looking at me.
“I know—it’s pathetic. You don’t fa
