Alpha and Luna University

0004 - What You Did Was Worse

"You waited. You f*****g waited to report seeing her? Are you slow or something?"

I'd made it to the infirmary somehow and woke up to shouting. Shade was outside my door, and he was so pissed.

Deonte was already turning quietly submissive. "I had to be sure."

"You had to be sure? Are you kidding me?" Something slammed into the wall hard enough to rattle the hinges. Hard enough to make me flinch from the other side of the door.

"If you'd told me the second you saw her. If you'd done your f*****g job. None of this would've happened. She never would've been alone. Cylan wouldn't have had to step in at the last damn second like some backup plan because she would've already had protection." I could feel his anger. My wolf was responding to it. That meant he was too close. "One call. That's all it would've taken. And instead, she nearly died at the hands of a second-rate wannabe Alpha."

Deonte's boots scuffed as he backed off fast.

"Thank the blessed damn Goddess herself Cy ended up smelling her. Of all things to fail at, you picked this?"

"You were busy. I uhh, I thought I was doing the right thing... With that place, and, and... You always say when you're with your fian..."

"Nothing! And I mean absolutely nothing should have come before this." I didn't need to see him to feel the fury rolling off him. "You know what... Get the hell out of my face before I do something I regret."

I heard Deonte shuffle away in a hurry. Another set of unrushed footsteps followed behind him. I didn't need to see who it was. Cylan didn't run from anything. And he had apparently saved me from that asshole.

The door slammed open. I flinched, then I forced my eyes open. Shade stalked in and threw the student records on the bed at my feet.

"Found these in your hoodie. Guess I don't need to ask what the hell you were doing down there. You're better than this, Aria."

I grabbed the files and shifted back to the far side of the bed.

"This is what you left me for? This? You dragged yourself down to this shithole and pretended you were nothing? Called yourself an omega? This is the life you want?"

He kept shifting from foot to foot. I knew the signs. He wanted to pace. He always did when he got like this. I used to shut him out the second he started. He still remembered. "You think I wasn't looking for you? You think I didn't burn through several cities trying to find you? But I didn't look here. Know why? Because I didn't think you'd dumb yourself down this far."

I snapped. "You really want to talk about pretending? You wrote the damn manual."

He stiffened.

"I heard you, Shade. Behind the banquet hall. Talking to those assholes."

I never said it out loud. When I did, the memory always hit hard whether I wanted it to or not.

Him. Laughing. Carrying on like it was just another night out with the guys. "Of course I'll give her to him. I'm not that damn attached. She looks just like the mistress he liked so much. The one who could do that special trick or whatever. He'll be pleased. Pleased enough to finally agree."

He growled under his breath. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

I snorted. "Yeah, but I did."

He kept his eyes forward, but I saw the shift in his posture. He was calculating. Scrambling for control. He'd spent his life being obeyed, never challenged, and it showed. Every time he hit this edge with me, he fumbled. He always ended up one breath from saying something stupid. Because to him, I was still beneath the bloodline. Still lowborn.

I didn't give him the chance to insult me or twist this into something that made him look good.

"You told me you loved me." I bit back the tears building. "We spent years planning our life together. Years, Shade. You made me believe I was safe with you. The whole time, you were plotting to hand me off like a s*x slave disguised as a mistress. A bargaining chip in your father's sick obsession that you yourself claimed to despise! Why? Because I look like her? Knowing how she died, you still planned to do it."

I quickly wiped my face with my shoulder. "That's all I ever was to you, wasn't I? A shiny replica. Something to distract you and ultimately still be beneficial even during disposal."

He didn't deny it.

"You paraded that b***h around like a prize pig and kissed her where the whole court could see." I didn't blink. "You made damn sure they saw. Made sure I did." My nails bit into my palms. "Don't worry, I get it. I really do. You needed her to reclaim your standing. You needed to march back into the royal pack with something they could pin a title to. And me?" I snorted. "I didn't even come close to qualifying. No lineage. No name. No father. No rank. Just a body you could warm your hands on until the real Luna Queen showed up."

I shifted on the mattress, dragging myself upright inch by inch.

"Your mother called me lowborn loud enough for the whole pack to hear. She and that b***h you replaced me with stood there in the middle of the courtyard, laughing like it was some kind of punchline. And you? You didn't flinch. Just stood there and smiled at her like I wasn't even there." I watched him cringe, but I couldn't stop. "I gave you everything. Everything. All I got in return was your voice in my ear, whispering how you'd love me forever while you sat across from your advisors, signing marriage contracts in secret. You promised I would never have to worry like that. That I would never have to doubt your love. Then you never said a word. Not one damn word about the deals, the negotiations, the other girl. You let me believe I was your future while you handed my place to someone else right under my nose."

I finally pulled myself up enough to be eye-to-eye with him.

"My father died protecting your life." A tear slipped free. "And the only thing I got from you was a lie that took everything else from me."

He took a step closer. I shifted back. The monitor beeped faster. "Don't."

"Please. Let me just..."

"I swear to the Goddess, Shade, if you touch me, I will scream. They will think you..."

He froze. "I would never."

"What you did was worse."

He let his arms drop. "You don't know what I've done for you."

"Maybe I don't. Doesn't change what I do know."

He stepped closer. "No reason to always try to guilt trip me with it. I was six."

"You think that's why I bring it up? That this is some guilt trip? It's not. You weren't six when you made a promise I never asked for. And I let myself believe it. That's what pisses me off. I believed you when I should've known better."

He didn't reply. Nothing new there.

"You say I dumbed myself down. Maybe I did. But don't pretend it started here. It started with you. With me ignoring every red flag because I wanted so badly to believe that I was enough for you. Turns out, big surprise, I never was!"

"It wasn't what you think."

"It's exactly what I think. You replaced me with an Alphas daughter who had just the right political connections. Something I could never give you. You found someone worthy of your precious AKH title."

His sleeves were shoved past his elbows, and his cufflinks were still clipped to them. He followed my eyes and ripped them off, tossing them hard on the bed.

"You think any of that matters to me? You think titles and ornaments ever mattered more than you?"

I grabbed the cufflinks and hurled them straight back at him. They hit his chest before clattering to the floor. He didn't flinch.

He leaned down and picked them back up. He sat on the edge of the bed. He was silent while he reattached the cufflinks. Like it made him feel in control again. Then he leaned closer. "Aria, listen to me..."

I raised my hand. "Don't. And don't call me that. Aria died the night you planned to give her away like a used trinket."

My voice sounded like gravel and glass. Every breath I took felt serrated. I reached up and winced before I even made contact with my neck. He moved fast and lifted my chin softly before I could react. I tried to resist, but he leaned even closer. I felt his breath on my face and froze. "Damnit, Aria. Just let me see."

My wolf roared the second his skin touched mine. She wanted more. I didn't.

He tilted my head gently. I let him.

"f**k. Cy should've killed him. I'll take care of him. I swear."

"Don't. I don't want your help."

"Aria..."

"Stop calling me that!"

I didn't give him a chance to say anything else. I turned and was off the bed and out the door in seconds.

"Aria... Aria! s**t, Zia...Ziaria, wait."

I didn't.

I limped down the hall, ignoring the pain. My wolf was screaming. Scraping. Pulling me backward toward him.

I stopped at the nurses' station before I left. The nurse barely looked up.

"Can I go back to my dorm?"

She waved a hand without turning. "You're clearly feeling better. Go. Then I can go back to sleep."

I didn't bother trying to find my things. I walked out wearing only the hospital gown and a pair of sweatpants that clearly came from the lost and found. I didn't even have my shoes. I didn't care.

I didn't register the wrong turn until I stopped in front of my old dorm.

I stepped inside anyway. I wanted somewhere familiar. Somewhere I recently felt in control.

Dust coated the shelf over the small desk where I used to toss my keys.

On the wall above the desk, a photo hung crooked in its frame. One I thought I'd lost when I left.

It was a photo of my father. In uniform. Grinning at graduation. He stood tall with the other wolves, arms around the shoulders of the pack's newest elite paramilitary. I remembered being there. Remembered the ceremony. The heat. The way my shoes pinched. How proud I felt.

How the cute little son of the Alpha King kept acting up on the podium until his father sent him away. How he walked right over and sat next to me with a huge grin after. How the butterflies in my stomach felt when I realized he'd done it all on purpose to come sit by me.

I laid down on the floor and curled into the fetal position. The last place I wanted to go back to was where I'd seen that asshole before he tried to rape me. Or explain to Rhea why I removed her boyfriend's testicles when I found him in my room again. At least this place still smelled like me. Smelled like Dalia. The floor was cold, but it felt good against my heated skin. Against the bruises.

I fell asleep fast. So deeply that I didn't register it when the door creaked open.

I didn't stir when something hot and heavy pinned me to the floor.