Hire a Husband

3- The bane of in-laws

Wade

Two months and I have been living in this hell hole.

No matter how many thousand square foot this house occupies, in my own opinion, it is too small to contain four sets of couples.

Or rather, not enough to contain me, my wife and her family who happen to be among the vilest of the worst of people I have ever come in contact with.

Although everybody turns sweet when the patriarch of the family and the owner of the company comes to visit.

If this was a real marriage, I would put my foot down and have Maria and me live elsewhere, far away from her toxic family.

Then again, if this was a real marriage, I would also not let half the things they do to her reach her. Then Maria would know that I have the power and status to protect her but I would have to explain to her how and why I kept it from her.

I never planned that she would continue to think that I am nothing but a bartender for two months. I thought that I could tell her the truth but it gets harder the more time goes by.

And now, I have to deal with her family when they do crazy stunts like this.

“I know that you are not used to living in a place this big, Wade, since you are from the slums but you are aware that you would have to earn your keep one way or the other. If you cannot do something as simple as fix a drink for me and my friends then you shouldn’t be here.”

I wanted to tell him that I agreed wholeheartedly. That I would want nothing more than to leave with my wife and sue them all. That I personally would be perfectly happy never having to see his face again but Maria won’t be.

She wants to still be here even with all their abuse. Just because they are family even though they wouldn’t know what that means if it bites them and hits them across the face with the weight of a brick.

“It was past twelve at night, you woke me up from sleep and dragged me away from my wife only to tell me to do that…”

“Why are you repeating what happened as if I was not present?” Kennedy, the douchebag step brother of Marianna demanded.

“So you would hear how crazy it sounds and maybe then your sanity will come back and you will realize that you cannot ask that from people,” I answered as I waited patiently for him to say the next ridiculous thing which could come out from his mouth.

I watched as his eyelids twitched repeated and I almost smiled at the sight.

“How dare you talk back to me…”

“I was created with a mouth too. If you can use yours to make silly requests then I can use mine to tell you just how silly you are for making those requests.” I stared at him.

He was practically vibrating with rage as he stepped closer to me while trying to appear menacing.

“What is going on here?” Antonia, the evil queen who gave birth to her spawns and made her spawns to go after Maria, asked.

While her children, Kennedy and Cynthia are lacking originality in their attacks and abuse against Marianna, she always strike true and her words were practically laws in this house.

“The Watson’s deal yesterday, me, Rogers and Matt were discussing the deal so I asked Wade to pour us some drinks.” Kennedy immediately reported now that he saw his mother.

He must have felt that he had won but I just stared at Antonia with a bored look.

“If the deal falls through then your wife would take the blame,” Antonia said in a soft tone.

“No, not the blame, the credit and that is if you would allow her.” I answered.

Her gaze turned angry but I was not yet done. “Your son was smoking m*******a with his friends. While looking at the papers. Maybe that was why he went with the Watsons deal because I don’t understand why else he would go to a company that is looking for another company to partner with just to put them back in the profit margin…”

“You were not aware that the company is in the red and has a case in court about a staff suit that would drag its name and all its affiliates’ through the mud?” I demanded.

Antonia shot her son an angry look before she focus on me again. “It is something which we were considering for the long run…” She forced out, trying to act as if my news didn’t rattle her.

I nodded. “I understand, after all, you were going to work through that deal for the next five years because the case is going to last that long. It is nice to see that you are already dealing with long term plans but I thought that was supposed to be this quarter achievement. Then again, what do I know about business. I am just the bartender.” I shrugged as Antonia’s red eyes met mine.

She knew that I had just mocked her and her son but she held her tongue.

She knew how I would react if she doesn’t. She learnt earlier on that I was not like my wife who takes insults lying down.

She was also telling me with her gaze that she would make Marianna suffer for this.

Not on my watch.

“Excuse me, I have to go and get ready for my wife’s big day, like the rest of you already are.” I moved to the stairs only to pause at the bottom.

“Kennedy…” I called out, my voice cold as I finally allowed my rage to show while I glared at him. “The next time you try to make me your personal slave, I wouldn’t be as kind as to politely walk out on you. Be careful when dealing with me. For your own sanity. Take this as my request to you.”

I moved on ignoring his spluttered curses that rang out while his mother faced him and demanded to know about the Watsons’ deal.

I entered Marianna’s room just to see her sitting close to the door with a teary look in her eyes.

She heard what had happened. Well, none of us bothered with keeping our voices low.

“I am so sorry,” she whispered.

There is nothing for her to apologize for but it was something which she was fond of doing anytime I encountered her family.

“Remain in here, no matter if they call you. I need to go and change so we would leave together. And we are leaving together, they can go on their own.”

I barely finished speaking when Antonia thundered. “Marianna.”

Maria winced but I shook my head.

“Ignore her. If she has the mind to demand your attention, tell her you were busy and I would take care of the rest when I am done changing.” I tell her as I locked the door to her room and moved to the wardrobe for a change of clothes.

Antonia banged on the door a few times before she left.

By the time I was done changing my suit, Maria was sweating over the fact that she ignored her step mother.

Which was perfect because I took a hold of her hand and dragged her downstairs and when we were there, I cleaned the sweat off her face.

“Where the hell have you been? I have been screaming your name.” Antonia immediately snapped at Maria.

“It wasn’t her fault Antonia. Sorry, she was a little busy keeping down screams of her own.” I replied as I looked at her. “I am in a good mood right now, can we please try not to ruin it?”

Antonia mouth snapped shut as she understood what I meant then she stomped off.

Wade two, Antonia, zero.

Life was good.