Visions of Wolves

The next best thing

Being alone in my room and alone with my thoughts made me even more anxious. Am I prisoner here? I made myself some tea and lay down trying to calm my nerves.

But there he was. Lying next to me on a blanket in the woods. Staring into my eyes while brushing loose strands of hair behind my ear. I reach out to touch his face and gently rub my thumb along the stubble on his chin. I lean in for a kiss. He kisses me back, forcefully, passionately. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me on top of him.

Lying on top of him I can feel our bodies mould together. I pull away from the kiss, my hair now falling on his face. We both giggle and he lowers his hand down my back and gently squeezes.

I jolt awake. There was a sound outside my door. The room was dark - how long had I been asleep? “Hello?” I whisper into the darkness. Nothing. After a long pause I hear the floor boards creaking as someone walks away.

I get up and tip toe over to the door and put my ear against it, I don’t hear anything. I then crouch down and try look under the door through the small gap underneath. Nothing. So I slowly pulled down the handle and opened the door. Peering out as I do.

This giant house is still. Quiet. Now that I was awake there was no way I was just going to drift off again. If I was up and alone, I may as well take a walk around, visit the sculpture again. As I got to the end of the passage, the sculpture now in full view and glowing under the light of the moon, I saw him. Sitting on the large, wide podium below it. He looked up and straight at me.

As he registered who I was I saw his eyes flash yellow, he said something under his breath, “mine” maybe?

I gasped and took a step back, ready to run. But Alexander simply sat up straight and motioned with his head for me to join him. Before I could rationalise it, I felt my legs draw me to his side. I sat down next to him on the cold concrete podium supporting the sculpture. I could feel the warmth of his proximity. I put my hands down on either side of me. He matched my movement and shifted his hand ever so slightly closer to mine. We sat in silence, surprisingly the longer we sat, the more comfortable I became.

“Can't you sleep?” He said turning to look at me. “Or are you out here planning an escape?” He nudged his shoulder against mine playfully.

I breathed out a short laugh, my body’s natural response to his playfulness betraying my mind and reasonable thought.

I moved my hands to inside lap, interlocking them. “Is that the only way out? Do I need to escape?” I turned then to look him straight in the eyes. Daring him to be honest.

He stared back, clearly searching for the right words. He stood up and started pacing slowly. “You’re not a prisoner Teal, it’s not like that. This just all happened so quickly, we have to discuss a way forward. I can’t just send you off. I can’t just let you leave.” He threw is arms in the air, getting frustrated at the complications of me being here.

“Discuss what?” I raised my voice and it caused him to turn and stare at me again. His eyes flashing yellow for just a second.

“You’re telling me you don’t feel this?” He walked over to me. I felt the same tingling sensation from earlier rush down my back and cause the muscles at my core to clench. My whole body started to heat up. I stood up in defence of him getting closer. There was a look I didn’t quite recognise in his eyes.

I unconsciously stepped back, so he quickened his pace until he was right in front of me, towering above me, forcing me to look up at him.

“I don’t know, I uh, don’t know what you’re talkin…”

“Liar” he whispered in my ear, cutting me off.

How can he have this affect on me? I’m paralysed on the spot. My brain telling me to run, my body craving his touch.

“I know you feel it, I can see how your body reacts. The way your breath becomes shallow, your pulse starts to rise.” He lightly brushed his fingers up from my hand to my arm. Leaving a trail of hairs on my arm standing on end. He lifted his hand to cup my face and then stepped forward, his proximity forcing me to move back until my back was against the sculpture. I was trapped between the cold, concrete sculpture and the warmth radiating from his body.

He leaned forward and planted small gentle kisses on my shoulder trailing up my neck to under my ear. I tilted my head to the side, giving him full access. “You know how else I can tell how you feel?” He whispered in my ear, I could hear the smile in his voice. He still had one hand on my cheek, the other rested on my arm and was slowly moving down until it landed on my hip.

I turned my head back to look at him. I was loosing myself in the moment, I needed to get back to the hotel. I needed time to think. “I don’t know how I feel. I don’t understand what’s happening, why this is happening.” My voice was so frantic even I barely recognised it.

He pulled back to look at me, neither of us moved.

“We’re mates Teal. I knew it from the first moment I saw you in the car. This is new for me too, I’ve never felt this way. I know you need space, but I, I can’t just let you leave either.”

I knew it too. I’d known since Ally had explained the feeling. But it was all too much. I’d just survived an attack, learnt about shifters and then supposedly met my soulmate? I had no words, all I could do was stare back at him. I wanted so badly to walk away and clear my head, but his confession changed something in me. Knowing that he felt the same, that this chemistry between us was real, primal, I felt like it would physically hurt to restrain. This seemed crazy, but the pull, the magnetism between us was overriding my sensibility.

I tried to step away but he gently grabbed me, it was a a simple gesture asking me to stay. I looked at him and he looked at me. This hunger crossed over his face and before I had time to consider what I was really doing, I leaned in to kiss him. He seemed caught off guard at first, then matched the passion in my kiss. He then lowered his hands to underneath my thighs and in one swift move had me straddling him again the sculpture. I felt weightless in his arms.

Trailing kisses from my ear down to my shoulder and back he lowered us to the podium beneath the sculpture. I pulled him tighter with my legs around his waist. I could feel just how excited he was, it made my body tingle in response. 

He sat me down on the ledge and then crawled ever so slowly on top of me, using his knees to spread my legs wider. The thin fabric of our clothes left little to the imagination and yet also made me feel claustrophobic, I wanted to rip them off.

He continued to kiss me while his elbow held his weight above me and the other hand untucked my shirt and slowly found it’s way to the clasp at the back of my bra. He unhooked it with ease and brought his hand round front to massage my chest. His movement matching the passion and roughness of his kiss.

My hands started to wonder down his chest and arms, the muscles helping me form a mental image of what his naked body must look like.

His hand then moved from my chest down, until it cupped my core over my clothes and began to massage in rough, firm movements. It was too much, too soon, I was on the verge of loosing control. Here, right in the middle of the house, right under the statue of his great, great grandmother.

“Stop.” I whispered loudly, pushing him off me as I sat up.

“This is too much. I need time to think. This is not the place. This is too much…”

He let go immediately, sat up and edged away. He looked at me with shame in his eyes, causing me to mumble even more about how I just needed to think.

“I’m sorry, you’re right. Not here.” He waved his arms at the open space around us, reminding me again that anyone could have just walked in on what was happening. “We should take this slow. I’m going to try take this slow. Please bear with me. It takes a lot of restraint knowing you’re right here. For shifters you meet your mate and you dive right in, but I’m happy to get to know each other first. To date, I guess.”

I nodded, tears swelling up in my eyes. I believe him and I want to get to know him too. But I have a life beyond here. I need to understand all of this, get some perspective.

“Tomorrow we will talk ok? Come here.” He pulled me into a hug and wiped my tears with his hand. I felt calmer in his embrace.

He walked me back to my room and gave me a light kiss on the forehead before heading back to his own room.