Sa Kama ni Bayaw

31

Claire's

Choices.

Life is all about the choices we made. Some choices made us who we are today, some made us regret and some made us happy. We become who we are with the choices we made. It is part of our life. At the end of the day, those choices define the life that we live.

"It was an impressive move from you, hija," nakangiting papuri ni Don Manuelo. He was talking about the pictures that I posted on my social media account when we went to Palawan together with my crew. It garnered almost a thousand likes and positive comments from the netizens.

"Thank you, dad. I just thought that it's the fastest way to erase all speculations about our marriage. Mas madaling makarating sa mga netizens if it will be posted on social media." magalang ko tugon sa kaniya.

Don Manuelo was so glad that it has positive feedback. After I posted it on IG, it became trending. Maraming nag-comment at nag-like sa mga litrato namin ni Niu.

"Of course. Now that everything's gone back to normal, wala na tayong magiging problema. Though they were having difficulties capturing the real culprit, I'm pretty sure they will eventually get to the bottom of all of these." May kompyansa sa boses niya.

Nilingon ko si Niu na tahamik lang na kumakain sa tabi ko. He's been silent lately, always having deep thoughts, just like now.

I nudged my elbow at him to get his attention. Lumingon siya sa akin na may nagtatanong na mukha, tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. He just shook his head and continued eating. Denedma pa ako.

Don Manuelo invited us for dinner tonight here in their mansion. He saw all my posts and he was so glad.

"Have you talked to your brother already, Niu?" He changed the topic.

"Ha?" Niu's hand stopped midair as he looked at his father with a strange expression all over his face.

"About the acquisition of a new property in Aklan, I told you to talk to your brother about it,"

"Wala pa po, dad. He's still out of the country for his new project in New Jersey. He'll be back next week, I think." Pahayag ni Niu.

Tumango-tango lang ang Don sa sinabi ni Niu. So, he'll be back next week, huh? Makikita ko na ulit siya. Napakagat ako ng labi. Unti-unting lumakas ang t***k ng puso ko sa nalaman. Hindi ko maiwasang isipin kong ano ang magiging reaksyon kapag magharap ulit kami. He's been gone for more than one month and I would have to admit that I missed him terribly.

"I told him to transfer his office here. Masyado siyang nalalayo sa atin. Besides, he can still manage his business here. Noon ko pa iyan sinasabi sa kaniya, I hope he'll listen this time, I want my boys near me, you know what I mean Manuelo," si mama Amalia.

"Well, I hope he'll listen to you this time," komento ni Don Manuelo.

If Sebastian will stay here for good then we'll often see each other. Excitement filled my heart just thinking about him staying here in the Philippines for good.

Tinuloy ko ang pagkain, ganado na.

The rest of the dinner we just talked about business and many more. Nagpaalam na rin kami kaagad pagkatapos ng hapunan dahil gumagabi na,

Tahimik lang kami ni Niu habang lulan ang kotse. After the Palawan incident, he kept his distance from me and he's doing it obviously. Ipinagkibit-balikat ko lang iyon dahil kahit ako rin ay hindi komportable dahil doon. Though we're a couple, we don't do things that extend to intimacy, and I feel guilty about it.

Hanggang makauwi kami ay wala pa rin kaming imikan. Gusto kong mag-sorry sa kaniya pero naisip kong 'wag na lang, hahayaan ko na lang iyon, hindi naman siguro siya galit sa akin nang dahil lang doon. Hihintayin ko na lang na siya ang unang pumansin sa akin.

Maaga akong nagising at ganadong kumain ng almusal. Niu already went to the office, hindi ko na siya naabutan. He was obviously avoiding me and I just let him. Wala rin naman kaming pag-uusapan at ayoko muna isipin ang tungkol sa amin ni Niu dahil bumibigat 'yung dibdib ko.

I don't want to overthink myself; it's stressing me out big time. The only thing I allowed myself to think is about my happiness, just happy thoughts. Pagod na akong palaging iniisip ang mga problema sa paligid ko. I just want to live my life the way I want it to be.

"Good morning, ma'am Claire," bati sa akin ni Donnie pagdating ko sa shop, binuksan niya ang glass door para sa akin.

Ningitian ko siya, "good morning di sa'yo, Donnie," I greeted him back. Ramdam ko ang aliwalas ng pakiramdam ko.

Letting go of all my worries put my mind at ease. Ang gaan pala sa pakiramdam ang ganito, wala kang ibang iisipin kun'di ang sarili mo lang. I may sound selfish but all my life I've been subject to my family's approval, every decision I make, I should ask them first. My own decision does not matter in my family, it's their decision that matters the most, just like my marriage to Niu. Having to decide for my own is not selfishness, it's a way of living a life I want to live.

For the first time, I want to have a voice too. It may not seem big for others, but it is for me. Madalas ay maraming naiinggit sa akin, because I'm a dela Fuerte princess, an heir to a multi-million-dollar company, a woman born with a golden spoon, but this lavish life is a prison cell, and I would do anything to trade this luxurious life for freedom.

"Wow, ganda ng aura natin ngayon, ha,"

Napangiti ako sa tinuran ni Kate. Naabutan ko siyang nagtitimpla ng kape sa pantry ng opisina ko. I feel so light and happy today, I guess it reflected on my face.

"Masaya lang," maikling tugon ko. Nilagay ko sa office table ang bag at pununtahan siya sa pantry.

"Define masaya, ano ba ang ibig sabihin ng masaya sa isang Claire dela Fuerte, huh? Masaya as in starts with letter S? Gano'n?" makahulugang saad niya habang inaabot sa'kin ang tasa ng newly-brewed coffee. Her smile denotes something.

Uminit ang mukha sa sinabi niya. Kate knows my life story, she's one of the few na nakakaintindi sa'kin aside from my sister and cousin, Evany. Nakakalungkot lang at nasa ibang bansa siya ngayon. It would have been better if she's also here.

"Kate, iyang bibig mo walang filter," natatawa kong sita sa kaniya. I sipped on the coffee and closed my eyes because of the bittersweet taste. Sumandal ako sa edge ng sink, Kate is busy refilling her cup.

"Girl, hindi natin kailangan ng filter dahil maganda tayo. You don't have to hide what you truly feel, you can shout it to the whole world for all they care. Kung may manghusga man sa'yo 'wag mong pansinin, for sure mga inggitera 'yon," mataray nitong saad, nakasimangot pa na parang may kaaway.

Napailing ako.

"I know, Kate. Pero hindi kasi iyon gano'n kadali." Bumuntong-hininga ako at nilapag ang walang laman na tasa. "Don't worry about it." Tinapik ko siya sa balikat at pumunta sa office table ko.

Marami akong pending works na dapat tapusin, ito na muna ang pag-tuonan ko ng pansin. December's approaching and we have a long list of orders already. Personalize design for their loved ones, I need to work on this now to avoid cramming.

The next hours for me had been exhausting. Ang daming dapat e-approve na designs from my designers. I was oblivious of the time and I was shocked that it was already time to go home. I heaved out a deep sigh and rested my back for a moment. Nakakapagod.

"Ito na iyong mga dapat mong permahan para sa second branch, nand'yan na lahat ng kailangan mong malaman sa project." Nilapag niya ang isang folder sa lamesa ko.

I was planning on expanding my shop, we'll be opening a branch and the construction will start next month, I'll be very busy by that time, thank God Kate's here.

"Thanks, Kate, you're really heaven-sent," malambing ko saad,

Umikot lang iyong mga mata niya sa akin, "Malaki ka magpa-sweldo kaya syempre pinagbutihan ko ang trabaho, ayokong masisante, noh,"

I laughed at her remarks, pero totoo iyon, if not for Kate, I don't think I'll be able to get where I am today.

I went home contented with the day's work done. Wala pa si Niu, usually he went home around eight in the evening, and it's still six. I get used to living with him and sleeping with him in the same bed for two years. It's funny, but within those two long years, never have I once feel attracted to Niu. He's a very good-looking man, Sebastian and Niu actually have similarities physically but it is with Sebastian that I feel a very strong own him. Sa simula pa lang ay gustong-gusto ko na siya. I want him.

I opened my IG account and scrolled down on the comment section. The number of likes and comments kept increasing by the day, this was posted almost a week now and it was still the talk of the town. Napangiti ako sa mga comments nila, saying Niu and I looked so good together.

beau_gpp : how can Niu Altamirano cheat on a very gorgeous woman?

Ryan12nno : swerte ni paring niu, whooh..ang init!

Babyllo : sana all ang kinis! Kainis!

Jenjen34 : 'yung mga inggitera lang yung naninira sa kanila. Ang sweet nila o,

Carmenzxx : ang gwapo mo koya niu, bagay na bagay kayo ni ate c.

I was enjoying reading the comments, minsan ay natatawa ako sa pero may iba din na nang ba-bash, napailing ako, hindi talaga mawawala ang mga bashers sa mundo ng social media, they always have ways to say negative to people they don't even know personally and it's toxic and irritating.

Mineonly123 : wtf?!

Mineonly123 : y are you wearing that f*cking bikini?!

Mineolny123 : that f*cking niu is enjoying! F*cking son of a b*tch!

Napataas ang kilay ko sa mga comments ng taong 'to. Parang ang lalim ng hugot niya, a. Galit na galit. Napailing ako, may mga tao talagang walang ibang masabi na maganda.

I closed my account and threw my phone on the bed. Humiga ako at ipinikit ang mga mata. Images of Seb and I appeared on my mind, iyong panahong ng kasal ko, iyong libo-libong sensayon na naramdaman ko sa tuwing may gagawin siya sa akin. I bit my lip as tingling pricks of beautiful sensation run down my body. Ghad, I missed him so much. Kalian kaya iyon babalik dito? I can't wait to see him again. I want to be happy this time, I want to be with him. I'll deal with the consequences later. Malakas na kumabog ang puso ko sa naisip, para akong isang teenager na kinikilig habang iniisip iyong crush niya. Napapailing na lang ako sa sarili.

Seriously, self? Kinilig ka?

I was interrupted from my daydreaming when the notification sound of my phone beeped continuously., like it's urgent. Agad ko itong kinuha, baka may emergency.

It was a message from an unknown sender, and it was sent from out of the country. Kunot-noo kong binuksan ang inbox ng phone ko. I have three unopened messages with the same number from abroad.

From: +235467...

Baby,,

I breathe hitched when I opened the first message, it was a single word but my heart wanted to explode with so much emotions. I know this may be a wrong sent message but I can't helped it, my heart just pounded erratically on its own.

Nanginginig kong binuksan ang ikalawang message. Pigil ko ang hiniga nang pindotin ko ang open command ng cellphone ko.

From: +235467...

I missed you so f*cking much.

From: +235467...

Can't wait to see you again,

Halos hindi ako makahinga sa lakas at tindi ng t***k ng puso ko. Walang pangalan na nakalagay pero alam ko kung sino iyon. Hindi ako mapakali at parang kiniliti ang buong katawan ko sa mensahe na iyon. Hindi ko naintindihan ang naramdaman ko, para akong maiihi na kinikiliti. Excitement. I can't contain the excitement and happiness that I felt right now.

Ibig sabihin ba no'n babalik na siya? And he said he missed me!

Kinuha ko ang unan at doon pinakawakan ang tili ko. Gusto kong himatayin sa kilig at galak. Sobrang saya ang naramdaman ko, para akong isang teenager na ni-crush back ng crush niya. Napakagat ako sa labi, mariin.

Finally, he's back and I can't wait to see him either.