My Love, Darkness

Chapter 61

Seryosong tinignan ni Phoebe ang mga kaibigan niya pagkatapos niyang pumuwesto sa tabi ni Bea kapagkuwan ay mariin niyang tinitigan si Sasha.

Nagtataka na siya sa kay Sasha habang nakatingin pa rin sa kaibigan na kinakagat ang kuko nito.

"Tell us, Sasha. What is your secret?" Willa said in her serious tone.

Nanatiling silang tahimik habang tinititigan ang kaibigan nilang halata ang kaba sa mukha. Nanatili silang tahimik hanggang sa bumuntong-hininga si Sasha pagkatapos ay tinignan sila nito, isa-isa.

"I'm really sorry, girls," biglang sabi ni Sasha habang ang mata nito ay nagsisimula na manubig. "I'm really sorry... I don't really want to break one of our rules but..."

Patuloy na humikbi si Sasha. Sasha's cry made her feel a little bit of conscience towards Sasha as she was the one who exploited that Sasha's is hiding something to her friends.

"But what? Do not leave us hanging Sasha, we want details to justify your secret. You must remember that you entered this group because you want to be one of us, but you must also remember that being one of us means we also have our own set of rules," Bea said that made Sasha cry more.

"I'm pregnant," Sasha said that made her friends gasped.

Shock of what Sasha revealed, Phoebe looks at her friends, one by one. All of their faces are contorted with disgust while looking as Sasha.

"You are what?!" pasigaw na sabi ni Neri.

"b***h! You can't be pregnant!" galit na sabi naman ni Abby.

Agad na nakaramdam ng pagsisisi si Phoebe habang nakatingin kay Sasha na patuloy pa rin na umiiyak. She should have not said that Sasha has a secret. Hindi na sana ito nasaktan.

She did not expect that Sasha has a secret that could lead her to be kicked out of their sisterhood. Hindi naman niya alam na buntis si Sasha.

Akala niya lang ay nakikipag-fling lang ito sa binatang bartender na nakita niya noong gabing iyon sa Panorama nightclub.

"Let her speak, girls," seryosong saad ni Willa.

Pare-parehong nanahimik ang mga kaibigan niya habang may pagkadisgusto at galit pa rin itong nakatingin kay Sasha.

Nanatiling tahimik si Phoebe habang tinitignan nila si Sasha na ngayon ay nakayuko habang tuloy pa rin sa pag-akyat.

God, I shouldn't have told them. Gusto niyang sisihin ang sarili niya. Pakiramdam niya ay malalagasan sila ng isang miyembro dahil sa kaniya.

"I-it was the night when we are also in the bar. I was left alone in Panorama since I had to wait for my Tito. Siya ang maghahatid sa akin pauwi," palinawag ni Sasha.

"But my Tito couldn't come. Kaya napagdesisyunan kong umuwi mag-isa. Lu-lumabas..." Sasha stopped as she started to sob again as tears started to cascade down on Sasha's cheeks. "Lumabas ako to get a taxi but Larry... Larry insisted me to hop in inside his car. I-I love Larry."

Muling narinig ni Phoebe na napasinghap ang mga kaibigan niya. Naiikot niya ang kaniyang mata sa kaartehan ng mga kaibigan niya.

"Damn, girl. And then what? You hook up with him unprotected?" tanong ni Abby.

Naiiyak na tumango-tango si Sasha na agad naman ikina-dismaya naman ng mga kaibigan niya.

Napabuntong-hininga si Phoebe habang nakakaramdam ng awa para kay Sasha. She somehow hates their group's rules but their rules are intended to also make them safe. Safe from issues and anything that could make them look weak.

But since Sasha broke one of their important rules, she knows that Willa will kick Sasha out of their group. That's where she felt guilty.

"I love Larry. I fell in love a long time ag--" Sasha was cut off by Willa.

"You pledge to us, this group, these girls..." Iminuwestra ni Willa ang mga kaibigan niya kasama sila. "We don't fall in love, Sasha. We don't do love. This group can only offer you friendship, security, and fun, not love, Sasha."

Naiyukom ni Phoebe ang kaniyang kamao habang nararamdaman ang bilis ng pagtibok ng kaniyang puso dahil sa galit.

She thought she's with the right friends. Akala niya kasama niya ang mga ito dahil mahal siya nito at tanggap siya sa kung ano ang kuwento niya.

She never thought that Willa could be this heartless. She never thought that her friends could be this judgemental.

Napatingin si Phoebe kay Sasha. Patuloy pa rin itong umiiyak habang nakayuko sa harap nila.

Phoebe shook her head. Thinking she knows why Sasha is so emotional. It could be the pregnancy and hormones doing.

Willa looks to them. Still serious and cold-hearted the way she looks at them. "I'll start the voting right now. I'm so disgusted with this b***h I want her out already."

Nakagat ni Phoebe ang labi habang nakakaramdam ng galit. Mas lalo lang din siyang nadismaya dahil ngayon, natuklasan niya ang mga tunay na kulay ng mga kaibigan niya.

She thought they are the friends she could rely on. She thought they are the best of friends. Akala niya ito na iyong klase ng mga kaibigan niya na sasamahan siya at tutulungan siya sa problema niya.

Muli siyang napatitig kay Sasha. Napapaisip na kung siya ang nasa kalagayan ng buntis niya kaibigan, baka sakali na kagaya nito, walang awa rin siya aawayin ng mga kaibigan niya. Panigurado na hindi rin siya nito papalampasin sa pagiging salbahe ng mga ito.

Tumayo si Bea sa tabi niya. Nakangisi ito habang masama na nakatingin kay Sasha. "Who wants to kick Sasha out?" nakangisi na tanong ni Sasha.

Umiiyak na nag-angat ng tingin si Sasha sa kanila. Bea raised her hand. Willa and Neri too. Next is Abby. Mas lalong napa-iyak si Sasha habang nakatingin sa mga kaibigan niyang matagal niyang nakasama.

Phoebe can feel Sasha's pain because of another fake friendship. Just like her, inakala rin siguro nito na may masasandalan siya sa grupo na kinabilangan niya.

Ramdam niya ang dulot na sakit ng mga taong kagaya ni Willa. She has been experiencing the same pain. Whether it's from her Stepmother to her Dad. They are just too heartless to the point she lost faith.

The pain inflicted by anyone around her are just too unbearable. Tao lang din siya at nasasaktan. Kaya ang hindi niya maintindihan ay kung bakit hindi patas ang lahat.

When we wanted love, we get pain. When we wanted happiness, sadness comes next. When we wanted, there's always war.

Kung ano ang mga kailangan ng tao, iyon pa ang hindi nila nakukuha. Kung sino pa ang karapat-dapat, iyon pa ang nahihirapan.

"Phoebe?"

Napatingin si Phoebe kanila Willa. All of them are raising their brows at her while waiting for her vote.

But her mind is made up. What she saw right now is enough. Enough reason for her to be alone. To be independent on her own.

Without minding everyone's judgment. Without waiting for everyone's approval. Without relying her happiness to her friends.

She realized happiness comes within. Whatever reason it is. Love, acceptance, or freedom. It can still be happiness.

"We are waiting for your vote, Phoebe. Do you agree to kick Sasha out or not?" nakataas ang kilay na tanong sa kaniya ni Bea.

Napabuntong-hininga si Phoebe kapagkuwan ay tumayo. All of them looks at Phoebe confusingly as Phoebe walked towards Sasha.

Nang tumigil sa harap ni Sasha si Phoebe, kinuha ni Phoebe ang kamay ni Sasha na narinig niyang ikinasinghap na naman nila Willa.

Phoebe rolled her eyes. They are so over-reacting.

"Phoebe?!" Phoebe glanced at Abby who's staring at her, horrified. "What the f**k are you doing?!"

"b***h, do you want to be kicked out too?" inis na sabi ni Neri pero hindi niya sinagot ang mga ito at muling hinarap si Sasha.

Hindi pinansin ni Phoebe ang sinabing iyon ni Neri. She's not scared of being kicked out in the group.

"Hey..." Pagtawag niya sa atensyon ni Sasha. Nakayuko pa rin ito habang umiiyak.

Napabuntong-hininga si Phoebe kapagkuwan ay muling nakapagsalita. "I'm sorry, Sasha. For what happened earlier."

Phoebe smiled instantly as she watches Sasha looks up to her. Tears still cascading down to her cheeks.

Phoebe felt a pang of pain while staring back at Sasha's eyes. Remembering the things she's been through.

She can see herself on Sasha. The pain is written on Sasha's face. Parang kagaya ito noong mga oras na hinahanap niya ang pagmamahal sa kaniya ng mga magulang mayro'n siya. The look on Sasha's face just the same with hers when she was yearning for someone's love and care.

Parehas na parehas ito sa itsura na mayro'n siya noon.

"W-what are you doing?" Muling napayuko si Sasha kapagkuwan ay pinaglaruan ang daliri habang patuloy na umiiyak. "Don't be a stupid, Phoebe. They are gonna kicked you out if you feel pity on me."

"Who cares?" agad na sagot ni Phoebe.

Napasinghap na naman sila Willa, Neri Abby at Bea dahil sa sinabi niya. Napabuntong-hininga si Phoebe kapagkuwan ay hinarap sila Willa.

"Seriously, guys. You gotta stopped acting like an idiot," Phoebe said nonchalantly.