Arrange Marriage With My Boyfriend's Cousin

Chapter 4

NAKAUPO ako paharap sa salamin dito sa loob ng dressing room ko. Nakatitig lang ako sa reflection ko; kinayang takpan ng make-up ang malaki kong eyebag dahil sa kakaiyak. Tapos na akong ayusan at nakasuot na rin ako ng wedding gown.

Yes, today is the day—the day I never wanted. The day that’s been forced on me by my father. It’s the worst day of my life, and there’s nothing I can do about it. No matter how much I’ve resisted, I’ve been trapped. Kahit si ate at mommy na parehong tutol ay wala ring nagawa.

Natauhan ako mula sa aking pagtitig sa sarili ko nang marinig ang pag-ring ng phone ko. With trembling hands, I picked it up, my heart sinking when I saw his name. Daniel. My boyfriend.

Para akong saglit na kinapoa ng paghinga.

I stared at the screen until the call ended, and his name disappeared. A bitter laugh escaped my lips as the tears I’d been holding back fell freely.

I was about to turn off my phone when it rang again. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa phone, hanggang sa mabigat na akong napabuga ng at inayos na lang muna ang boses ko bago sinagot ang tawag.

“Babe, are you busy? I’ve been calling you since yesterday. Why haven’t you answered?” His voice hit me like a punch, laced with hurt.

I bit my lip, trying to stop the tears, but they spilled over. “P-Pasensya ka na, babe. M-Medyo busy lang kasi.”

Rinig ko ang mabigat na pagbuntonghininga ng boyfriend ko.

“It’s been a week, babe. When did you come back? I’ve missed you. I’ve been so worried about you. Mabuti na lang sinagot mo na ang tawag ko ngayon.”

The weight of his words crushed me. My hand shook as I held the phone, struggling to find the courage to tell him the truth… but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t destroy him with the reality of my life.

“Babe… what if…” I choked on the words, my heart pounding. “Ano kaya kung pakasalan mo na lang ako?”

Sandaling natahimik ang boyfriend ko, pero kalaunan ay agad ding natawa na akala mo'y nagbibiro lang ako.

“What? Babe, you know I don’t have anything to give you right now. I can’t spoil you. I can’t give you the things you want if we get married now. Pareho pa tayong nag-aaral, at umaasa lang din ako sa pera ng pamilya ko. Yeah, I’m making some money from modeling, but it’s not enough. Maybe when I’m a doctor, I’ll be able to give you everything you deserve. My grandfather promised me his hospital once I become a full doctor.”

I could feel the tears burning in my eyes again, falling freely down my cheeks.

“You don’t need to spoil me, babe. You are enough for me. You always will be,” sagot ko at muntik nang pumiyok ang boses ko, mabuti na lang napigilan ko.

“Babe?” Muling natawa ang boyfriend ko. “Are you okay? Nakakabigla na gusto mo agad magpakasal.”

I forced a laugh, my voice trembling, desperate to hide the pain. “I’m just joking. I just wanted to hear you laugh. You’ve missed me, right? So how have you been? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but I’ve missed you like crazy. I was planning to come to the Philippines for my cousin’s wedding, but I can’t because of school. You’ve missed so many classes, babe. Come back soon. I miss you so much.”

Pinilit ko na lang kagatin ang nanginginig kong labi habang sunod-sunod na ang pagtulo ng luha ko. “S-Sige bye, babe. I love you . . .”

“I love you more, babe. Don’t worry. When the time’s right, I’ll marry you. You’re the only one for me. The only babe I’ll ever love.”

Nanghihina kong ibinaba ang phone kasabay ng pagyugyog ng aking balikat at paghikbi. Ang sakit. Para akong sinasakal na hirap huminga.

Tahimik akong umiyak.

Hanggang sa narinig ko na ang sunod-sunod na pagkatok sa pinto.

“Ma'am Jelly, pinapalabas na kayo ng inyong ama at baka ma-late na raw kayo sa simbahan!” pagtawag ng katulong mula sa labas.

Nanghihina akong tumayo at inayos na ang sarili ko.

Paglabas ko ng kuwarto ko ay naghihintay na ang pamilya ko sa baba. Pero ang tingin ni mommy and ate sa akin ay parang gusto na akong ibaon ng buhay, napakasama ng kanilang tingin, lalo na si ate na parang gusto na akong sabunutan kung wala lang si Daddy.

Sumakay na ako sa car with Dad beside me—his presence like a prison warden’s. He insisted on sitting next to me, just in case I decided to run. Ate Julia sat on the other side, her body tense with unspoken fury. I could feel her trying to hold back every bitter word. But with Dad sitting between us, all she could do was pierce me with that venomous stare. She was angry—furious that I was about to marry the man she loved. But like me, she was powerless. Dad’s word was law.

“Alisin mo 'yang pagsimangot sa mukha mo. It's your wedding day. Try to smile, even if it kills you,” Dad said with cold authority the moment our car stopped in front of the towering church in Makati.

Parang ayaw ko na lang bumaba, pero wala akong nagawa nang pilitin ako ni Dad.

The doors of the church opened slowly, and the music began to play. Arm in arm with Mom and Dad, I walked down the aisle. Pero habang marahan na naglalakad ay nakatingin lang ako sa kawalan, ni hindi ko tiningnan ang groom kung anong itsura, basta tulala lang ako habang pinipigilan na pumatak ang luha sa mga mata ko. Pero kahit anong pigil ko ay pumatak pa rin.

Parang ang bigat ng mga paa ko sa paghakbang habang naglalakad sa red carpet kasama ng parents ko, tila may nakalambitin na malalaking bato sa mga paa ko. I couldn’t breathe. My chest tightened, suffocating under the weight of a future I didn’t want. I tried not to break down, but my tears poured freely—silent, endless, unstoppable.

I walked like a woman being led to her execution—dead inside, crying quietly, dressed in white with a trembling bouquet in my hands.

Nang makarating ng altar, my parents handed me off like a fragile item being passed on. The groom took my hand and turned me to face the priest. I still didn’t look at him. I refused to. I didn’t want to see the man who would become my husband against my will.

Nakatingin lang ako sa kawalan habang nagsasalita ang pari, ni hindi ko na alam kung ano na ang mga pinagsasabi nito.

“Yes, Father. I do,” the groom answered confidently, without a flicker of doubt.

Hanggang sa ako na nga ang tinanong ng pari. Pero nakatatlong tanong ito sa akin, hindi ko sinagot. Narinig ko naman ang malakas na pagtikhim ni Dad mula sa likuran na para bang pinaparating sa akin na huwag ko siyang ipapahiya dahil malalagot ako sa kanya.

“Jelly Anne Robert, do you take Ralph Ian Lambert to be your husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and to honor him all the days of your life?” the priest asked again, for the fourth and final time.

Napakagat na ako sa nanginginig kong labi at muling tumulo ang luha sa mga mata ko habang ang tingin ko ay nanatili lang sa hawak kong bouquet na puno na ng patak ng aking luha.

“I… I do…” My voice cracked as a sob finally slipped out with the words that sealed my fate.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride,” anunsyo na ng pari.

Namalayan ko na lang ang pagtaas ng groom sa belo ko. Nang maitaas ay agad nitong inilapit ang mukha sa akin at bahagyang yumuko para halikan na ako, pero mabilis kong iniwas ang mukha ko. Kaya tumama ang halik nito sa pisngi ko imbes na sa labi.

Narinig ko na lang ang palakpakan ng mga guest.

“Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Lambert!”