Lavender

Chapter 30 - Noticed

LAVENDER'S POV

Oh, s**t. Damon must be just playing on me. He can not mean what he said. He can't say that he's just starting. I don't believe him. I don't believe any of it. I don't want to think that he is really going to waste his time for me in the future or even today. 

But as I watched him stepping back while he is still smiling at me, I can't also help but think of what he will do in the next few days. Will he really continue to want me? Just like what he said earlier that he wants me near him. Damn it. I don't know what to think. 

I don't even know if I like what's happening or not. I want to see Damon but I also don't want him to be around too much because I know myself. I know that my body will always betray me especially when Damon is so near me. Whenever he starts kissing me like what happened just now or whenever he teases me like what he did while we are in my room the day that I came here to the mansion. 

I don't want to lose inhibitions every time that he is doing something that is making my heart crazy but whenever that he also close to me, just like what happened earlier, I lost my s**t and my self-control. It's like my brain is malfunctioning while I can feel his lips against mine earlier. 

"I don't like you running away from me again, Lavender. I don't want you avoiding me like what you are doing earlier while we are having our breakfast," he suddenly said but I shook my head while still feeling my heart being crazy. 

"Y-you..." He looked at me, waiting on what I'm going to say but damn. 

I can still feel my heart beating as I look at him who's looking handsome as he continues to smile like he is not the man I have met in Ellington Enterprises who is stern and a cold man. And I'm shocked to see him smiling like this. I'm not used to seeing him smiling every time that I see him. 

It's just not him. 

"What, Lavender?" he asked, still smiling. 

Actually, he should stop smiling. I don't want to see him smiling like what he is showing to me right now as my heart is being crazy, beating erratically just because of Damon's freaking smile. 

"U-uh..." f**k! "Y-you don't mean what you said, right? You changed, Damon."

What I said made Damon lost his smile at me. His cold and brooding appearance came back like I just said a bad thing at him but I don't know what it is.

And because of that, my intimidation for Damon also came back as he continues to stare back at me with his now cold Chief Executive Officer appearance.

Damn it. Now I want the Damon who's smiling at me just seconds ago. I can't help but feel really nervous whenever I see Damon with his brooding version. Always serious and unsmiling and who looks like someone who is ready to shout at someone.   

"Look..."Damon started as he inserted both of his hands inside his slack's pocket.

I gulped as I noticed how greyish Damon's eyes while he continues to look at me with his serious face. s**t. Why does he have to look so good even if he's so serious and cold right now. 

"I don't care whatever the hell you think I am right now, Lavender. But I meant was I said earlier. I am just starting. Whatever I'm planning to do starting today, you need to be ready for it," he said as if it is just nothing but no.

Not to me. It's supposed to be a threat, for me to be threatened and have more reason to get far away from him but f**k me. I don't even feel threatened at all. What I feel is excitement. The butterflies in my stomach and the tingling sensation in between my thighs even if I'm just looking at him. 

Fuck! Damon is just standing there. Only a few steps in front of me but not near like how near he was earlier when he kissed me but I'm already so affected. So affected that I can feel myself wet which is damn embarrassing. 

"B-but you can't mean it. Maybe you confessed b-but that was years ago already, Damon. You c-can't stay liking me for so many years that passed, Damon. I-it's impossible," I said, staying my straight face on fighting back the sensation I'm feeling in between my thighs. 

"Well..." Damon said as he now pulled both of his hands out of his pocket and crossed them together in his chest. "You are right. I don't like you and I have fallen out of love with you, Lavender, but f**k me to hell for noticing you just like what I did back then."

What he said made me shocked and speechless. I mean, he noticed me. He noticed me back then. And just like what happened now, he noticed me. Again, he noticed me. And I don't know if I should feel flattered or embarrassed anymore. I just want to be away. Away far away from him. 

"But—"

"I already said the answer to that, Lavender. Why are so f*****g in denial?!" Damon said, looking pissed that made me jumped quite a bit. 

Denial? I mean, yes. I admit I'm in denial. I have that side too but I'm not that always in denial. I just... 

I just want to work peacefully while I am here. I just want to stay focused while being friends with Daisy too. I just want to have a place where I can also work peacefully and that will only happen if Damon wasn't like this. If he did not suddenly start being a tease and a man who just keeps making my heart beats crazy. 

And I stand with what I already said. He may have noticed me now again but don't think that he will stay noticing me. He will get tired. He will get tired of me and then he will find another woman. A woman who suits his liking and his level in this community. 

A woman who can be a daughter of a politician or someone who is super-rich like him. Because I can't be the one he keeps noticing. I can't be the woman he will keep teasing until I fall in love with him. I can't be the one. 

And so, with strength that I gathered, I spoke. "I don't want to fall in love with you, Damon."