Chapter 31 - Want

2048 Words
LAVENDER'S POV  Damon laughed after hearing what I said but I'm f*****g serious. I want him to understand that I don't want to play or even start a relationship with him. I don't want to fall in love even if I am already twenty-eight and I should be someone finding to love and settle like what Dad said but no.  Even if my Dad comes here and smacks me for rejecting someone like Damon, I don't want to fall in love. Not him. Not anyone. Not right now.  I mean, I might have witnessed what love can do at first hand because of my Dad and Mom who are now separated and living together, but it is not the reason why I decided that I don't want to fall in love at all. I mean that I just don't want to fall in love right now as I also have a dream for my Dad.  I want him to get whatever he deserves. For being the best Dad and all. For being the man that keeps lecturing me though I admit that with lectures, I learned. Everything he said was indeed guidance of how I should live, think, or decide while I'm still living. He's the best man I have ever known but I hate it when he talks about love like Mom never left him. Mom left him and that's it. Dad's just too denial to realize that Mom is not coming back.  Damon laughed which made me look at him again as he also looks at me like I have said something funny. Oh, god. I wish that he will stop this or anything that he is planning just like what he said earlier. I admit that I have been feeling turn on as we continue to stay in his bedroom but I should knock some sense to him.  "Oh..." Damon started as he continues to smile at me. "So you are afraid of falling in love?" "No, no!" I said as I stood up from his bed.  Oh, s**t. Now, that I have remembered it. I'm still wet. I just got drown and I'm still wearing Daisy's swimsuit which means that I'm quite on a live show for Damon, making me feel really embarrassed as I slowly took the belt and the other belt for the robe that is also wet and tangled it but what made me more embarrassed is when Damon saw what I was doing and that he's expression changed when I know he saw my body.  Hunger and conflict. That's what I saw written on Damon's face before looking back up, straight into my eyes that also made me gulped because of feeling nervous.  "So what is it?" he asked, making me raised an eyebrow. "You afraid of falling in love that's why you don't want to fall in love or you just don't like me?" he asked.  "No, no. It's not that I don't like you—" "So you do want me, you're just denial," Damon suddenly said that made me sigh.  How do I explain my point to him? He's incorrigible for Pete's sake. I sigh, feeling stress before shaking my head at him.  "Still a no, Damon. And, want is different from like. Liking you and wanting you is different, okay? I mean, you are my boss. I suppose liking you is decent because you are paying me more than the usual salary for a caregiver like me especially that this is just my first work as a caregiver," I said but Damon shook his head, chuckling. "I don't care about the money I'm paying you, Lavender. And I also don't like that you like me because I'm paying you more as you said, am I not handsome?" he said as he flashes another bright smile that made me rolled my eyes.  "I need an answer, Lavender. I don't want you rolling your eyes at me or I'll punish you, right here, right now," he said in a threatening voice, making me gulped as I can feel that his threat is serious even if he was still smiling at me.  Damn. The last thing that I want to happen is Damon kissing me for the third time. Once is stupidity. Twice is being dumb. Making it happen for the third time is me, being denial. Because once that I let him have his way again to me, it just confirms that I am attracted to him, which I really am, way back in our high school year and now, again.  "U-uh, okay. Y-yes?" I said, unsure of what I'm going to say.  "Yes?" Damon also said, still smiling at me.  "I-I don't..." f**k. I sigh, still feeling stress because I also don't know what to say to Damon. "Uh, I-I don't know what to say, Damon. I just really don't want to fall in love." "You don't want to fall in love or you just don't want to fall in love with me?" he asked which made me brush my palm on my face, feeling more stress before looking at him with a deadpan look. Damon just stared back at me as he shrugs his shoulder while waiting for me to talk.  "Oh, god! Damon! Just because, please! Just because, okay! Don't ask more questions—" Damon suddenly laughs, making me stopped talking. Feeling pissed, I look at him with a raised eyebrow. "You keep laughing. What seems to be funny, huh? I'm freaking serious you here but you keep laughing whenever I talked," I asked, feeling irritated at him but he stayed looking unbothered even if I'm sure I'm letting him see that I'm pissed. "I have the right to know you, Lavender. I hired you for my sister. That gives the right to know you and ask you—" "Yes, yes. I know that. You can ask me everything that you want," I said with thick sarcasm but Damon seems like he didn't get the idea of what I said as he suddenly smiles which means he thought wrong of what I said.  Argh! "Damon, seriously. Are you dense? I mean that you can ask me anything that you want but getting to know me as a caregiver," I said, emphasizing the word caregiver for him to understand. "You can ask me everything as your sister's caregiver but questions related to my feelings and love is not something you ask your sister's caregiver, Damon. A big no," I said that made Damon sigh before uncrossing his arms on his chest and straightly look at me before smirking. "What a smart mouth you have," he said as he looked at me with admiration while I feel that the irritation I'm feeling for him instantly melted the irritation because of what he said as I also feel my cheeks getting hot.  "What I am saying Damon is a fact. You hired me, I'm the caregiver for your sister to attend to, but you can't ask me anything about my feelings, Damon. You are my boss and I am your employee. I'm just the employee you hired so please, stop doing—" "Doing what?" he asked, acting clueless even if it's obvious that he's playing with me.  "Damon, doing things okay. Like going near me o-or k-kissing me," I said, suddenly feeling embarrassed as Damon looked at me, still smiling as if he's seeing something... funny on me.  "Then my answer is no, Lavender," he said that made my eyes widen as he took one step towards me.  Fuck! I really hate these moments when Damon starts to suddenly move that helps to make my heart beat crazily. "W-what are you doing? D-did you not even understand everything that I just said earlier?" I asked, feeling nervous as he took another step.  "I understand..." He took another step. "...every... little..." He took another step that made me gulped. "thing that you said, Lavender. And I'm just acting like you," he said before smirking.  "W-what?" I asked, confused as I still feel nervous. "W-what do you mean, I don't... I don't know what you are talking about, Damon?" Damon chuckled sexily before taking another step towards me. "I'm your boss, Lavender. You can't be the boss. You can't order me around," he said before lowering his head to level mine and suddenly planted a soft kiss in my nose.  And I'm dumbfounded. Looking like an i***t as I stare back at Damon who's smiling at me while he is now taking steps back away from me.  "Now, stay here. I will call my family doctor to check up on you," he said but I shake my head as an answer to him.  "I'm starting to hate your nos, Lavender," Damon said that made me gulped as I felt the coldness of what he said. "But stay here. I want you here when our doctor is here, okay? Change and use any of my clothes inside that walk-in closet, okay?" Nodding my head is the only thing that I can answer as Damon smiles again before turning back on me and walk out of his bedroom. When he's gone, it's like something in me is lifted. I blow a loud breath before letting myself fall to the jumpy bed of Damon.  I take a moment to relax as I realized what just happened between Damon and me again. First, it shocked me to know that Damon possesses a bright and genuine smile even if he is always all stern and cold. I never thought Damon can still possess a sweet smile that shocked the hell out of me and took my breath away.  I mean, he looks already handsome even if he's just keeping his self stern and cold all the time but seeing him smile. It's different. It's different when Damon smiles. It's a genuine, bright, sweet smile that he showed at me so, I'm still shocked.  Second, a kiss is still a kiss. And Damon just kissed me again. For the third time, in my nose. I'm stupid not to predict what Damon is planning to do. Every time he walks towards me, takes a step towards me and closes the distance between us, he always ends up kissing me and I always end up being stunned, dumbfounded on whatever the hell he is doing to me.  Third. I don't know what Damon f*****g wants from me. Is it a relationship? s*x? He can probably have anything that he wants in one snap of his finger as he's also a man who's born in a wealthy family and left with a billion worth of inheritance. Everyone instantly loves someone who likes him who's so blessed while I am not so I really don't believe that Damon will stay liking or noticing me or whatever the heck he is planning to do.  I don't even know if he is seeing someone right now or that if he already has a woman he's into and courting. I know that Damon also never mentioned anything about what he is feeling towards me as all that he said is those what he wanted.  I remember him saying that yes, he fell out of love with me after being missing in action at our school back then so I believe, what he is feeling towards me right now to pester me is infatuation. He will get over me soon, I know. I know that in the next few days, he will stop giving me attention.  Everything happened so fast, so I really don't know what to do other than avoiding Damon the rest of me working here for his sister but whatever that happens, I don't want to let myself fall deeper.  I don't want to look more stupid because of him. I want to stop feeling affected by everything that he's doing to me but everything that he's planning to do in the future is something that I can not avoid forever. As long as I'm working here, I will continue to encounter Damon around this mansion. And I wish that one of those encounters with him is not the one that will put me in a situation where I can't stop myself from giving in to him. 
Free reading for new users
Scan code to download app
Facebookexpand_more
  • author-avatar
    Writer
  • chap_listContents
  • likeADD