Saddest Farewell

Chapter 10

Yessa Jaycee

My heart was beating so fast, gusto rin niya ako...

Yeah, I like Hiroki -my tabachoy, who wouldn't like someone like him whose likeable anyways? I like him for more than as a friend, pero hindi kami pwede, ayoko siyang masaktan... I don't have much time left.

"Yessa," napatingin ako kay Papa, he smiled at me, "kumain ka na?" Tumango na lang ako.

"May problema ka ba, anak?" Tanong niya sa akin, I know he is thinking about the idea of me having a limited time. May tatlong buwan na lang akong natitira sa mundong ito. Three months more before I pass away...

Ngumiti lang ako, doon ko naramdaman na bigla na lang nagsituluan ang mga luha kong kanina ko pang pinipigilan, agad namang lumapit si Papa sa kinaroroonan ko at saka ako niyakap ng mahigpit.

"Sssh, don't cry now, Yessa, just continue to pray for a miracle. Trust God, pagsubok lang ito. Malalampasan mo 'to, anak." Dad's eye was suddenly teary as he carress my back in our hug, "tandaan mo, as long as there's still time, there's still hope left. There's a miracle, let's pray for it..."

"It only happens once in a blue moon, Dad..." Nginitihan ko siya ng mapakla, "I love you, Dad." He wiped the tear falling on my cheeks with his index finger and tightened the hug.

He smiled as he wipe his own tear, "I love you too, anak, iiyak mo na ang lahat ngayon hangga't sa maubos ang mga luha mo, bukas, ngumiti ka, no more tears." Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit, "keep fighting, don't leave me alone, magiging mag-isa na lang ako kung ganoon."

"God has plans..." bulong ko, "and if I die, hindi kita iiwan, Dad... I'll always watch you up high, I'll be your star that shines in the night, I'll be the air that you breath, I'll be the home that comforts you, and I'll be the world, always with you, Dad..."

Napapikit na lang ako and I saw the image of Hiroki, I felt my heart to beat so fast upon receiving his stray glance in my mind, even in my imaginations he still have that strong effect in me, and it is not helpful.

I'm afraid of the idea of liking him, what's more with falling in love when there's a hundred percent possibility that I'll die in three months?

Well, what I am afraid of already happened. I just fell... and I need to stand alone for myself, he can't know that my heart beats his name, I'll just hurt him in the end, and I can't bear that knowing he'll be hoping, I get tired of the disappointments. For sure he will, too.

Kailangan ko na siyang iwasan... I have to.

For his sake. I don't want him to hurt and worry any further because of my condition.

Mahal kita, Hiro... my hero, my miracle.

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