Please Break My Heart

Chapter 17

This relationship thingy would seriously drive her crazy soon.

On Friday afternoon, she texted Lake, asking if he were free on Saturday. He immediately replied, saying that he had nothing planned. Hence, their fourth date was planned just like that. Even if Ayanna already went over her plans with both Kurt and Lilia, she still felt nervous. Even if those two approved her simple date plan, she was not sure if Lake would appreciate it.

“Oh, come on, Ayanna, you can do it!” she tried to cheer herself on. She was seated on her bed, her clothes were everywhere.

“You look crazy,” Lilia commented when she entered her dorm room and she saw Lilia talking to herself. “Look, if you’re worrying about the date, don’t. I’m pretty sure that Lake would like anything you would give him.”

“But it’s a cliché date!” exasperatedly, Ayanna exclaimed. “He might get bored of it and wished he did not go out with me on his freakin’ birthday! Not that he knows that I know it’s his birthday. But let’s just say, what if, just what if, he thinks he just wasted his birthday trying to hang out with me?” She was serious about her concern. Even if she knew it was not supposed to be a big deal, she felt herself worrying too much. As if she wanted to please him. As if.

Lilia had to roll her eyes. “It’s a date. Like the ones you have before. Like the ones you’ll have later. I don’t think it’s anything worth fussing about.” Then there was a pause. Ayanna felt awkward because she knew Lilia was examining her, as if trying to read her mind. “Lake would like anything you give him, I am telling you. Now, my question is, when the three months is over, will you still be able to leave him?”

Ayanna froze. She stopped thinking about that for a little while. Though it was always at the back of her mind, she preferred to ignore it as if it was not there in the first place. To have Lilia brought it back, she felt horrible. Even so, she forced herself to chuckle.

“Of course. That’s the plan, right? And as of the moment, I haven’t even fallen in love with him. I can already imagine leaving him.”

Now, she did not know why her mouth had a very bitter aftertaste when she said those words.

*****

“An amusement park?” Lake chuckled at Ayanna. “I did not think you’re the type to go to an amusement park,” he teased as they both prepared to fall in line to get their tickets on Saturday afternoon. He did not tease her the whole ride when she told him where to go but he did tease her when they arrived and saw a lot of kids.

“If you don’t want to then let’s just go home,” Ayanna sneered, turning her heels to leave but Lake grabbed her wrist.

“Come on, you know I’m just teasing,” Lake said, patting Ayanna’s head. He seemed to have made that as a habit because Ayanna was short—at least shorter than him. “Why are you so serious?”

Why she was so serious, Ayanna could not explain. She was just so nervous about this. Maybe it was because he probably celebrated his birthday in a better place before. Maybe it was because he probably spent his birthday with a prettier girl before. Maybe it was because she felt responsible for Lake’s birthday celebration even if she was told that he did not like grand celebrations. Usually, his parents would come visit him—at least according to his friends—but for some reason, he still agreed going on a date with her.

“Nothing. I’m just stressed,” Ayanna replied, hoping that her nervousness would not ease out. It’s just really too much for her. She was excited but nervous but thrilled. She had never been responsible for anyone’s birthday before. She was pulled away from her thoughts when Lake ruffled her hair.

“Try not to think of what makes you stress and let’s just enjoy this day together,” he spoke with a sincere smile.

Ayanna could not help but wonder if he was like that to all his ex-girlfriends too. Somehow, it felt like something was gnawing her insides. She did not feel good at all. She once again ended up giving herself something to stress about even if she was not sure why she was stressed at all.

*****

The rollercoaster and several other rides were conquered by the couple. They tested almost every ride—yes, even the Merry-go-round—and tried as many food as they could. It was not as boring as Ayanna thought it would. In fact, she felt bliss envelope her system and she hoped that Lake felt the same. Before they knew it, it was past 11:30pm in the evening.

And Ayanna was yet to greet Lake a happy birthday. Her gifts were rotting inside her backpack.

In her mind, she knew she was being ridiculous. But seriously, people had probably greeted him already and there she was, his girlfriend, who did not even bother uttering a single greeting to him. She felt ashamed. She felt bad. Worst of all, there was this churning feeling that her stomach made when she thought of another girl greeting Lake and Lake smiling at them.

“Ayanna.” The female felt someone poking her left cheek. She turned to her left and saw a concerned Lake. “Are you tired now? If you wish, we can go home now. It’s late anyway,” the latter told the former.

“No!” Ayanna exclaimed. “I mean,” she cleared her throat. “There’s one important ride we haven’t tried yet,” she said. In her mind, she was already cringing at her cliché choice.

“What is it?” Lake asked but Ayanna did not have to answer. He followed her gaze and saw the Ferris wheel. A lot of couples were queuing for it. It was in demand. A smile crept on his lips before facing Ayanna who was already looking at him. He pinched her nose. “Let’s go.”

The queue for the Ferris wheel took a while but at around 11:50, the couple managed to ride. It was quiet all of a sudden as the two of them looked outside the window to enjoy the lights of the city. The silence was comforting and so were the dancing lights. But Ayanna’s nerves were getting ahead of her. She played with her fingers but she thought, it was now or never. The day was about to be over. A whimper escaped her lips, making Lake look at her.

“What’s wrong?” Lake asked.

That made Ayanna gulp. She really did not have much choice anymore. “N-nothing. I just…” she trailed off. Slowly, her hand opened her bag and she reached out for her gift bag. She handed it to the boy. “Happy birthday,” she whispered.

Lake blinked. One. Two. Then finally, a huge smile grew on his face. It was the biggest smile the girl had ever seen from him.

Ayanna’s heart just had to jump weirdly, all over the place.

“May I open it?” Lake asked and Ayanna nodded. The boy carefully opened the gift. The first one was in a bigger box. It was a small mug with a small basketball hoop. “It’s very cute,” he commented.

“There’s another one,” Ayanna hastily said, embarrassed.

Lake opened the smaller box and what he saw was a phone strap with a tiny brown teddy bear that was holding a half red heart. He smiled even wider at that.

“I have the other one,” Ayanna told him, taking out her phone to show her white teddy bear that was holding the other red heart. “We’re a match.” She blushed a little. She did not even know why she was blushing. Probably because she was embarrassed. Hopefully it was because she was embarrassed.

“We are.”

She thought she saw his ears pink a little. Oh how she hoped it was not her imagination.

Oh, how weird she was being.