The forbidden alpha queen

my secret wolf

VICTORIA'S POV

I really wish Damien had listened to me when I told him that I didn’t want to turn. I wished he had trusted the fact that I had good reasons to not to want to do it. It was common sense and commonly known that wolves always wanted to turn. No one wanted to be stuck in their human form for all eternity and that is why I felt like Damien should have known that I had a good reason why I didn’t want to. However I had to say as to how things were ran around here. I couldn’t voice my opinions because I was just a lot wolf despite the fact that I had the strongest wolf and I was also a royal.

I never ever turned because I knew that I couldn’t control my wolf, he was too big for me to control, and often time when I turned I found myself being controlled by him. Even when James was the one who was training me, he always discourages me from trying to turn. It wasn’t li I needed to be convinced that turning would be bad for me but I knew it. I knew that turning could be harmful not only to me but to everyone else. I had only turned a couple of times when I was still in the wolf kingdom and each rime it was because it was necessary and I had to choice. One time I had turned because foe some reason I had to show off my wolf and show everyone why I was the alpha king.

This was one of the unfortunate things that had happened to me. It was one of the many things that had been done to me in order to keep this secret hidden re as long as possible. Now that the secret was out and I was free I wondered how long the secret would have gone on for if it wasn’t for James. The truth is that it was out because of him and as much as I hated to admit it, I had to admit that he had done me a great favour by exposing this secret because no I no longer had to carry the burden to lying to the entire kingdom.

Somehow, my father and Uncle James had managed to have me house my brother's wolf. Somehow, they had managed to get rid of my wolf to make space for his. My father told me that this was because a female wolf was too weak to lead. He told me that the main reason why female wolves were never and wold never be considered leader of the entire kingdoms was because of how weak outer wolves were. He told me to embrace the wolf that I had been given and nor complain. However he had forgotten yhat I had to bond and connect the wolf before I could even embrace it and that war the part I didn’t know how to do. Currently it was like me and my wolf were two separate entities that didn’t get along yet we resided in the same body. It made me feel not only confused but also lost most of the time.

My father was all about the good of the kingdom, and I knew he thought that by doing this, he was protecting that stupid kingdom. My happiness and my peace had never been a priority to him and because of that I grew up putting myself last. They had drilled it hard into my head that the only things that mattered was the kingdom and that my happiness was dependant on how happy everyone else was. In a funnily and twisted way, I would even say that I had kept the secret of my identity because I was protecting them from the truth. I was protecting them from the lies that my father had told then.

I bet he never thought that the same kingdom he put my life on the line for would soon disown me and even try to kill me. Now, I was wondering how he was feeling about everything that was happening to me. Was he sad that his plan had failed and backfired on me? Maybe he regretted making me do all these things, and now he just had to just watch my life fall apart. I had to explain things that I didn’t even understand myself.

Right now, I would have to explain to this douchebag why I had a male wolf living inside of me. I didn’t even know what I was going to say to him. He looked like he was even upset at me even though I felt like non of this was my fault. If he had listened to me he wouldn’t have found out one of the secrets I was keeping. Why was it now my fault that he was nosy and couldn’t keep his nose about of my business?

“what the f**k was that?” Damien asked me after I struggled a little longer than I should have to turn back into my human form.

“whatsoever do you mean by that question?” I asked him as I pushed him aside and tried to walk away from him but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. For the first time ever since I had gotten here I felt something when he touched me. I wasn’t sure what it was so I thought it was just my wolf reacting since I was still struggling to suppress him.

“Look, I know you are a princess and all that crap but what kind of a female has a male wolf?” he demanded.

“why are you acting like what I am is a threat to what you are?” I asked him and he looked away but quickly looked back at me.

“Why do you keep playing these silly games that wont get you anywhere with me?” he asked me and I scoffed.

“what games am I playing with you?” I asked him “you literally had the choice to mind your own business and listen to me but chowed not to. Now that you have found out information about me that you don’t like you want to make that my problem? Please explain to me why you are upset and why your face looks like that” I said

“All this could have been avoided if you had been honest with me and straight with me from the moment you came here. Bit you have refused to answer even the simplest questions about who you are. I have had no choice but to find ways to get the truth out of you myself” h said

"And look where that landed us today” I said

“Do you understand why I didn’t want to turn now?” I asked him as I started getting angry

“no I don’t what happened right now doesn’t explain how secretive you have been so don’t try to like this is the reason why you have been acting so weird ever since you woke up” he said

“Why do you speak as if you know me? Why are you so curious to know more about me when you haven’t even told me a single thing besides your name about you?” I asked him

“because you don’t have authority here and I do. It’s m job to question you, do you think I ask all this questions because I am genuinely interested in you?” he asked me “I am asking because I have a pack to protect and you seem to think that is a joke. You are not taking any of the things that I am doing seriously.

“do you ever take the things I say to you seriously or do you just want to see and experience everything for yourself?” I asked him.

“Just tell me what was the meaning of all that?” he asked me “If you can remember that you have a massive male wolf that you can’t control then you surely remember the rest of your story,” he said and I scoffed.

“fine…I remember everything but I won’t tell you anything” I said as I walked away from him. I was fuming. He quickly followed me and pulled me back before I got get any further from him. I slammed onto his chest his breath warm in my face making me disorientated or a minute.

“Let go of me” I struggled as I came back to my sensed bur he seemed to be lost in thoughts. He qas looking at me in my eyes and it was as if he had just zoned out or he was in a trance.

I had never met a man as weird as Damien, it was obvious that he couldn’t fight his feelings for me which was why he always fought with me every chance he got. And yet here he was fighting is feelings and acting like he wouldn’t care if I decided I wanted to leave. It was funny but frustrating at the same time. Frustrating because I kind of wanted him to maw a move so that I could reject him and crush that little confidence that made him think he was all that.

At this point I wasn’t really mad at him but at my father for putting me through all this crap. If it wasn’t for the decisions he had made for me I would probably be living my best life as a female wolf with no complications. But then again if he hadn’t done that then I would probably be dead for now. They would have killed me the moment I was born. But maybe I was better off dead than living the life that I was living right now.

Turning in front of Damien and having him see my wolf wasn’t even the worst part of all of this. The worst part was the fact that I couldn’t hide who I truly was when I was in my wolf form. I could see that Damien was well-versed when it came to wolves. He was probably a high-ranking wolf from whatever pack he was from, I would say that he may even have been an alpha.

I knew that I would have to answer a lot of questions once he got back to the mansion and I was kind of ready for him. My plan this time was to redirect the conversation to him. He had been working hard to n kw more about me and yet he never told me about himself. Like why he didn't have the ascent of a wolf and what kind of hybrid he was. He probably thought that I couldn’t pick that he was a hybrid but he was sadly mistaken.

If he wanted any information from me he would have to prove to me that I could trust him even then, I can’t guarantee that I would be able to tell him anything about me or how I ended up here. I guess on top of being afraid of being judged by him I was scared that he would try to kick me out of this place and send me back home to face my death. I didn’t know how he felt about the way royal female babies were treated by the kingdom. I had been hoping that he would see me as a fellow outcast and accept me based solely on that but I was starting to realize that was not the case.

In this place, I was the outcast… they were at home. I was out numbered, and if I had to defend myself, I would probably lose. I don't think the fact that I was a princess meant anything to them. they could pick it from my scent and yet everyone treated me as if I was just a nobody.

maybe I was just a nobody. After all, I had come here without even a name. My father had refused to give me my own name because he was so afraid that I may become attacked to it bot knowing that I would get named by a stranger some day. I am sure if he had anything to do with it, he would make sure that I never met Damien. he may not have realized or known it, but Damien was officially the biggest threat to what my father, James, and I had tried so hard to protect for years.