Fu.ck, this isn't what I wanted. I never thought Lydia would be able to come down here. I didn't think the thought would cross her mind honestly. Lydia didn't look for me last time. I thought she would just hate me...
This is just like the last time. I'm making the same choices, and using the same excuses. It's different now though. I just... can't bring Lydia into this life. She deserves better than me. And I will always put Lydia first. Even if she hates me for it.
The only difference between now and then was the harsh words I said to Lydia. I treated her like she was meaningless. I told her that I didn't want her anymore.
And she even wore my fu.cking necklace down here.
Still, I have to keep in mind that Lydia will be fine. Lucifer told me that things would get worse for a while, b
