Sa Kama ni Bayaw

24

Niu’s

The frustration I’m feeling right now is beyond imaginable. Inis na bumuntong hininga ako. Someone was sabotaging me and the company, that's for sure. Imposibleng may lumabas na mga litrato kung walang kumuha no'n.

Knowing that my biggest secret is out in the public made my nerves tremble. Alam kong marami ang masasaktan at maapektuhan sa ginawa ko. I know the consequences when I decide to cheat on the marriage my parents designed for me, and they can’t blame me for this.

Mahina akong napamura dahil sa inis. Just who the f*ck posted those picture on the internet? Kung sino man ang may gawa nito ay talagang malilintikan siya sa akin. I’ll make sure he’ll taste hell here on earth.

Maraming tao ang ngakukumpulan sa labas ng gate ng subdivision. mga cameramen at reporters. I smirked; these dirt-hungry people are nothing but leeches. They sucked on the dirt of other people. One of these days, I’ll take time on crushing this industry, just you wait.

Pinaharurot ko ang sasakyan kahit na maraming tao ang nakaharang sa labas ng subdivision. Mabilis silang tumabi para makadaan ako dahil kung hindi ay talagang sasagasaan ko ang mga buwesit na media na ‘to. They make money out of someone else’s dirt, digging up skeletons from people's closet and shoved them in the media for people to mock.

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa manubela nang maalala ko si Claire, sigurado akong alam na niya ang nangyari at nag-aalala ako para sa kaligtasan niya. I just hope my brother will be there for her, he may not say it but I know he’s in love with my wife, it was evident on his face. Mahal ko ang asawa ko pero hindi bilang isang babae na sinasamba. I love her because she’s my wife and who wouldn’t love a sweet and innocent woman like her?

Pinarada ko ang sasakyan sa labas ng gate namin, hindi na ako nag-aksaya ng panahong para ipasok ito sa garahe. I went straight into my father’s study and before I could enter, I heard him talking to someone in an angry voice. Huminto ako sa labas ng pinto at sumilip sa maliit na siwang. He was talking to my mom, agitation and frustration laced his voice. I halted for a moment and took a deep breath to calm my racing heartbeat; this is not going to be easy.

Kumatok ako ng mahina bago binuksan ang pinto para pumasok. I closed the door behind me and swallowed hard.

My mom’s worried face welcome me as I entered the study, she was sitting in a plush seat while my father was pacing back and forth inside the office, my mother was trying to calm him.

“Mom, Dad,” I called their attention. Both heads turned into my way and this was the first time I saw my father this angry. Ever since I was a child, I’ve known him to be a very considerate and understanding man. He always saw the good side of every bad thing.

Pero iba ang ipinapakita ng mukha niya ngayon, makakunot ang kanyang noo at nababakas ang labis na pagkabigo sa mga mata niya. Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang ganito at masakit para sa kin dahil alam kong ako ang dahilan kung bakit ito nangyari.

Gustohin ko mang saktan ang sarili ko dahil sa nangyari, a part of me can’t seem to take the guilt because I enjoyed my time with Selene and Leann. Gustohin ko mang magsisi ay hindi ko makapa sa puso ko ang pagsisisi, dahil alam kong gagawin at gagawin ko pa rin ito dahil dito ako naging masaya.

You can judge me, but I don’t really care. Call it insanity but I love my women.

Swallowing an imaginary lump on my throat, I took a step forward after gathering all the strength left in my body. Alam ko naman na mali ako, that is why I’m feeling this way. Kinakabahan sa paghaharap.

Agad na tumayo si mama at nilapitan ako. Her beautiful face was laced with sadness and undeniable frustration. A pang of guilt hit me. I did this to her.

“Anak,” she called me. Unshed tears threatened to fall from her eyes, “What happened? Bakit may ganoong balita na kumakalat sa internet. Please tell me it’s not true,” she pleaded. Hinawakan niya ang magkabila kong braso, doon kumukuha ng lakas.

Hindi ako makapagsalita sa sinabi niya. Tell her it’s not true? How?

“Antonius, I want you to explain this,” my father intervened. His voice was stiff and calm but I know he’s just reigning himself because my mother is here.

Kinuha niya ang mga picture na nagkalat sa lamesa at tinapon iyon sa harap ko. I stiffened when I saw the pictures, it was me and Selene. Maraming kuha na magkasama kami. In my condo in Pasig, on my beach house in Tagaytay, and the worst is a photo taken from outside of my residence in

California, we were on the balcony, Selene was straddling me and we were devouring each other’s mouth.

Son of a f*cking b*tch! Just who the f*ck took these photos?

How can I deny this now?

Nanginginig kong pinulot isa-isa ang mga nagkalat na litrato. My insides are trembling, I don’t know the reason for feeling this, being caught cheating is something every husband was afraid of, but it was not Claire that I thought of, another woman appeared on my mind. Her beautiful smile that never failed to make my day.

F*ck! She’s going to find it out, fool!

And she’s not gonna stay to a cheater like you!

My heart hammered inside my chest. Paano ko ba lulusotan ito?

Sinalubong ko ang matitiim na titig ng ama ko. He was frowning and waiting for my explanation, his eyes were cold and calculating my every move as if he’s reading me.

“Dad, please let me explain—,” I was cut off when my father pushed me on the wall and fisted my collar. Napadaing sa lakas ng pagbalya niya sa akin. Damn, my father is still strong as a bull. Hindi ko inasahan ito.

“Manuelo!” my mother shouted in horror. Mabilis na lumapit siya sa amin pero hindi natinag ang ama ko. He looked into my eyes with pure anger and disappointment.

“Have you lost your f*cking mind?! Wala ka na ba talagang ibang gawin kun’di magbigay ng sakit sa ulo?! You are married, for goddamn’s sake, Antonius!” he shouted on my face. Nanlilisik ang mga mata niya sa galit. He tightened his hold on my collar and pushed me harder on the wall.

“Calm down, Manuelo. We can settle this in a peaceful way,” mom softly said, she caressed my father’s arm. Mahinahon ang boses niya pero alam kong nagtitimpi lang rin siya.

“I’m sorry, dad. I didn’t mean this to happen,” napayuko ako sa hiya.

“Bullshit!” Marahas niya akong binitawan. “You should have thought this will happen before sticking your d**k into some b***h, you fool! Paano mo ito lulusutan ngayon? Ang pamilya ng asawa mo? Hindi mo man lang ba inisip ang sasabihin nila? What will the dela Fuertes say about this? You cheated on your wife, Niu. That is unforgivable! Kung ako ang ama ni Claire, siguradong papatayin kita sa ginawa mo!”

“Manuelo, huminahon ka nga, we can find a way to solve this,”

“How can I calm down? The company’s at stake here and our family’s reputation! Ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga tao? That the Altamirano’s are assholes and cheaters! What about Claire? Siya ang unang masasaktan dito. Have you not thought about this? Akala ko nagbago ka na,” humuhingal na sabi niya. Pulang-pula ang mukha niya.

“I’ll figure this out, dad,” mahina kong saad.

“You should! Hindi kita pinaaral para maging estupido! I told you to always use your head, not your d*ck!”

“Ma, I’m really sorry,” hinging paumanhin ko. Nahihiya ako sa kan’ya. I have nothing to say but sorry. Ngumiti siya ng mapait sa akin na mas lalong nagpabigat sa damdamin ko.

“Hijo, we should do something. Claire will be hurt.” Nag-alalang saad ni mama, kaunti na lang ma iiyak na siya. I know she loves Claire. Siya ang pinakamaapektuhan dito.

“Don’t worry, ma. I’ll take care of this.” I assured her even though I, myself, don’t know how.

Naisip ko ang kapatid at napangiti ng mapait. Sebastian Altamirano will always be the hailed Altamirano. Kahit ako ay tiningala siya bilang isang magaling na negosyante at nakatatandang-kapatid. I always asked for advice from him, be it for personal or for business, and damn that man, he always hit the right nerves in every situation. I guess I have to ask him to help again this time.

Someone cleared a throat and our attention was directed at the opened door. Mabilis na kumabog ang dibdib ko nang makita ang galit at mabigat na titig ng kapatid ko. He’s furious. Sa gilid niya ay nakatayo si Claire. She looked lost and confused.

“Claire,” I whispered. Narinig na nila ang pag-uusap namin? Kanina pa ba sila d’yan?

I shivered when I saw my brother staring at me. His eyes held a thousand promises, a not-so-wonderful promise.