Sa Kama ni Bayaw

15

Claire’s

Ilang minuto na akong nakatayo sa labas ng study room, I’ve been contemplating whether to talk to him about what happened last night. I want to ask for an apology but was afraid that he’ll be offended.

Nahihiya ako sa inakto ko kagabi at sising-sisi ako kung bakit ko naisipan ang kabaliwan na iyon.

Now I have to suffer the consequences. Niu has been distant from me since this morning. Hindi ko na siya naabutan kaninang umaga at hindi rin siya sumabay kanina sa hapunan. He’s been shutting himself inside the study room.

Talaga yatang galit iyon sa akin. Mas lalo akong nakadama ng hiya dahil mga ikinikilos n’ya.

He doesn’t want to talk to you, Claire!

Huminga ako ng malalim bago kumatok sa pinto.

No one answered. I knocked again and turned the doorknob to open the door. I was greeted with the dim lights coming from the lamp. Walang ingay sa buong k’warto, parang walang tao.

Dahan-dahan akong pumasok, wala si Niu sa study table niya, wala rin tao sa couch. Nasaan kaya iyon? Ang sabi ni manang ay dito dumiretso si Niu pagkatapos nitong kumain ng hapunan.

“Niu?” I called him. I closed the door.

No one answered. Only the stale scent of cigarettes remained.

Lumapit ako sa study table niya. Wala naman doon ang laptop niya. Tanging ang nakabukas na lamp sa table ang nagbibigay ng kakarampot na liwanag sa buong silid.

Where is he? Maybe he went outside to smoke.

Maybe it’s not the right time to talk to him. Aalis na lang ako dahil siguradong naghihintay na sila Monica sa akin.

I was about to turn to walk out of the door when I heard the door clicked, indicating that someone locked it.

Agad akong napatingin sa pintong nakasara.

Sebastian was standing beside the closed door, glass in his hand. He looked drunk with his drowsy eyes and flushed cheeks. His eyes were fixed into me and I feel conscious with the way his eyes traveled from my face down to my neck.

Napalunok ako. Bakit nandito ang isang ‘to?

Napalunok ako nang magsimulang dumagundong ang aking dibdib. Being alone with him in this room is making me uneasy. Lewd thoughts crossed my mind as I glanced at the office table.

Gusto kung batukan ang sarili. May kasalanan na nga ako kay Niu, nag-iisip ka pa talaga ng mga malalaswang gawain.

Tumigil ka! Ang landi mo!

I cleared my throat.

“Nandito ka pala, akala ko nandito si Niu,” I told him. I smiled a bit to ease the awkwardness.

“You goin’ somewhere?” he asked as he scanned me.

“Uhh, yeah. Just meeting up with my old friends,” I told him. His face darkened with what I said. Hindi ko alam kung may nasabi ba akong mali kaya bigla naging madilim ang mukha niya.

Naglakas-loob akong lumapit sa pinto kung saan siya natayo. Giving him a hint that I need to go already. Hindi siya natinag sa kinatatayuan at mariin pa ring nakatitig sa akin.

I was standing inches away from him and the smell of alcohol, smoke, and his cologne mixed. His scent made me dizzy.

“Seb, I need to go now,” I told him again. My heartbeat hammered when he didn’t make any efforts to step aside.

Ano na naman ba ito?

Nakahinga lang ako ng maluwag nang gumilid siya para paraanin ako.

I smiled at him as I made my way out but I was halted when he spoke so lowly it could pass as a whisper, but it was so clear to me.

“I’ll have my eyes on you, Claire.” He closed the door after he said that.

Hindi ako nakapagsalita dahil prinoseso pa ng utak ko kung ano ang ibig sabihin no’n.

What does he mean by that?

“Cheers!” Natatawa kong itinaas ang baso na may laman na alak. Kanina pa kami nagkakasiyahan sa bar na ito. The original plan was just to celebrate Monica’s homecoming in her condo unit here in Makati. But, as the night gets old, they decided to finish the party in a bar.

“Whoohoo! Cheers to the bitchiest b***h I’ve ever known,” Regine shouted as she raised her glass in the air. She’s tipsy already.

Masayang naghiwayan ang mga kasama ko, they’re all tipsy and so am I. Kanina pa kami nag-iinuman sa condo ni Monica.

“Cheers to the luckiest b***h who married my childhood crush!” Naghiyawan ulit sila sa sigaw ni Evany. Niyugyug ako ni Kate at natawa ako nang aminin ni Evany na crush niya ang asawa ko. Lasing na talaga, nabibisto na ang mga sekreto.

It was so good to be around them again. Matagal na rin mula noong huli kaming nagkikita-kita. Monica just arrived from New York, she worked as a beauty consultant in a company there. Umuwi siya dito dahil ikakasal na siya next month.

“You’re a lucky b***h, don’t you know that?” Evany slurred her words when she spoke to me, halatang lasing-lasing na talaga. “You married my long-time crush, hindi ko man lang naipaglaban ‘yung nararamdaman ko,” she dramatically wiped an imaginary tear.

I laughed at her remarks.

“I told you to seduce him before the wedding,” natatawa kong sabi. My eyes were blurry now and my head was already spinning. Medyo lasing na pero kaya pa naman.

Naghiyawan ulit silang lahat.

Misha was missing. Nasaan kaya ang isang ‘yun? Bigla na lang nawala, hindi man lang nagpaalam.

“Ew! Ayoko! Nalawayan mo na iyon, doon na lang ako kay Sebastian, I think he’s way better than Niu!” she exclaimed.

They all laugh naughtily.

“I’ve heard rumors about the man, and girl, it’s all delicious rumors,” malanding saad ni Regine. Parang nawala yata ang kalasingan ko nang banggitin ni Regine si Sebastian. “He’s so huge, girl and so rough in bed. I have this friend at naka one-night-stand niya si Sebastian. She told me he’s really good in bed, talagang wawasakin ka sa sarap. Sadly, for her, Sebastian Altamirano doesn’t do a woman twice.”

Parang may malaking bato ang bumara sa lalamunan ko sa narinig. Bile rose from my stomach to my mouth making me taste bitter.

Naiinis ako dahil sa mga narinig sa mga kaibigan ko.

That Sebastian is really a manwhore! Kung sino-sino na lang kinakalantari!

I wanted to kick him in the balls for that. Hindi bagay sa kaniya ang mag-astang f-boy kasi matanda na siya. Ew!

Selos ka lang kasi.

“That’s so true, girl. My cousin, Cassy also had a one-night-stand with him, he f****d her real good. But, you know what? She told me Sebastian was moaning some other girl's name when he f****d her. Lasing noon ang pinsan ko kaya hindi niya matandaan ang pangalan ng babae but she’s sure it starts with letter C.” Monica said.

I held my breath for a moment. My heart drummed inside my chest. Sebastian was calling some other girl's name when he f****d those girls? And the name starts with the letter C?

Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko dahil sa sobrang lakas ng t***k nito. My stomach is tied in knots. I don’t want to assume, but I can't help it.

Hindi kaya?