Losing You

Valeria

I have loved him since we were kids. He came in like a wrecking ball, crashing into my heart completely. It was always Ant and Val. We have been together through everything. I love Anthony and he loves me. He promised to always love me. We had a child young, but he promised to marry me when the time is right. He promised to be a family forever but forever doesn't exist. One day Anthony took a ride, and he never came back. No sign of him, or his bike. He just vanished. We looked everywhere for him, but his dad ruled it out as his adult son not wanting to be found. If he didn't want to be with me, he could have just said that. Now I have our daughter asking questions, and here I am with no answers. I can't snap in front of my daughter or my family, so instead, one night I get so angry and drive to the beach and let it all out. I have no other choice but to act like Ant is the waves and I yell at him. "Why did you leave me, why couldn't you love me the way I loved you. Was it because of my daddy issues? Am I just ugly to you now? Was our daughter not worth it? Was I not worth it? How do I explain to my brain that what I feel was never real? How do I get over losing you? I cry all night long, but as the sun comes up, I realize that everything happens for a reason and I decide to give it to god and focus on bettering myself and being the best example for my daughter. I have to step up noww that the one other person who should love her unconditionally stepped out.