2781 Words
||*ALOYSIUS*|| I knew no one would worry about me yesterday, nor will they notice my absence, yet I was hopeful that at some point, perhaps mom would notice my absence and reach out to me through the mind-link just to check if I was okay. It was a hopeful wish but unfortunately she didn't, and I couldn't even get mad at her because I knew she'd be all over Alexius, worried and whatnot. I didn't return home yesterday and I wondered if they knew that I didn't spend the night at home. All I did was roam the woods, because everything I'm feeling right now is overwhelming. So many emotions that are very hard for me to process, the constant neglect from the family which I know would only get worse as time goes by. Now everyone would be focused on getting Alexius' son back, and I probably won't be remembered until I am needed for something. The reason why the entire family is in this mess was because of my jealousy and envy. My crave to be seen and noticed, to have Alexius back as my companion just like we were as children. I didn't get that, and I ended up creating a wound in the family that might never completely heal, because Alexius is scarred for life. The pain might eventually go away, but the memories of everything he went through in those eight months, might never. Then there is the burden of having a demon as a Lycan. [I am not a burden, but an important part of you, that's what I am.] Fenrir affirmed grumpily. [How are you an important part of me? You could've just come as a regular Lycan, do you know how much of a burden it is having to keep you a secret?] I asked, because that has been one of the burdens on my mind. [You have no reason to keep me a secret, and I am here for a purpose.] He argued. [What purpose? Also I have every reason to keep you a secret, unless you have a good explanation for mom on how I have a demon entity.] I replied. I have no idea how that will go, when mom finally finds out. What will her reaction be? Angry, confused, mad or fearful? Who would actually stay calm and chill when they learn they've been living with a demonic entity? [My kind is rare and a gift, you should be happy that you have me.] Fenrir scoffed. [I'll be the judge of you actually being a gift, when has anything demonic ever been a gift?] Never have I heard that anything demonic is referred to as a gift. So what makes him a gift? The fact that he has red furs and two horns, or the fact that he brags about hell? What is even his definition of a gift? [I am a gift, and you don't have to keep me a secret.] He replied without answering my question. [Yeah right, just off.] I told him, earning a growl in response. As if telling anyone about this is easy, what do I do, walk up to my parents and say 'hey mom, and dad, so you see I have a wolf and a Lycan, just like mom. However my Lycan is a demon from hell or wherever the hell he came from.' [I can hear your thoughts.] Fenrir grunted in his voice that sounded like that of the sky announcing thunder and hailstorm. Even the sound of his voice freaks me out. [Good, then you should know how absurd it sounds.] I replied with an angry hiss getting off the bed. [A moment of peace is all I ask for. Yet you both go on endless banter that makes no sense.] Indra complained, speaking up for the first time today. [Go back to your hole wolfie, the smart ones are talking.] Fenrir responded snarling low, and I shook my head. [It's always the dumb ones.] Indra replied, and I shut them both out to continue their banter because I knew they would go on like that for minutes. They are both alpha breeds and wouldn't want to submit to each other. They forget that I have serious issues to contend with, having a demon Lycan is one thing, eventually I'd tell my parents. Perhaps when all the sadness in the house is gone, but how the hell do I tell that I have the goddess of death as my mate? How did that even happen? I have tried to deter my mind from the thought since the day I left that forbidden forest or whatever it was. I tried my best not to think about it, but how long do I intend to run away from it, because it is my truth, and I have to confront it eventually but how? How I mate with a supposed goddess of death, that has no actual form, because from what I saw that day she can take any shape she wants. What will I say to my parents? First I have to shock them with the news of having a demon Lycan, then come back to drop the bomb shell of having a supposed goddess of death as my mate? Doesn't that spell doom? On the other hand I can't help but wonder if Fenrir is the reason I have the literal goddess of death as my mate. What confuses me more is how she's actually different from the actual goddess of death that I've read about in folklores. The supposed goddess of death that I know about is Hel. So how come my mate claims to be the goddess of death? What am I missing, it simply doesn't make any sense. Perhaps I should read up on it. [Aloy, where are you?] I jolted at the sound of mom's voice, holding onto the handle of my closet door as I replied to her. [In my room, good morning mom.] I greeted, hoping this was her checking up on me to see if I was okay. [Good morning, did you sleep well?] She asked, and a smile broke out on my face at her question, but then I remembered that this was unusual. [Yes I did, is everything alright, do you need me for something?] I asked, wishing I would hear a response different from what I knew it would be. Hoping to hear her say she was worried about me, and only wanted to check on me. That is what I hoped her response would be, but deep down I know it was nothing more than a lame wish. [Uh yes, can you come to my room? With your sketching tools.] She replied, and I heaved a defeated sigh. Of course this had to be it, they only remember me when they need me. What was I even thinking, wishing for a different response. They didn't care to see if I followed them back home yesterday, didn't check to see if I was actually home but now that my service is needed, I am suddenly remembered as a member of the family. What's more, I am an Alpha, which means I am not allowed to complain or have these emotions and feelings of neglect, because I am an Alpha and I just have to suck it up. [Oh, okay, give me a few minutes.] I replied, as I stepped into my walk-in closet. [Thank you.] Mom said, and the sound of the tiredness in her voice weakened my resolve. I can't even blame her. I grabbed a shirt to wear, as I dragged on my shorts and I walked out of the room. I took my bath when I came back early this morning, and laid in bed because I had nothing else to do. Once out of the closet, I grabbed my sketchbook and pen before making my way out of my bedroom and towards the elevator, pushing the button for my parents floor, all the while wondering why they needed me to bring my drawing tools. [I'm outside your bedroom suite.] I announced, stopping in front of the door, which opened a minute after. "Did I wake you up?" Mom asked, as I stepped in and I shook my head. "No, I was already awake. What do you need me for, is Alexius awake?" I asked, walking behind mom. "Yes he is awake, give me a minute, let me ask if he's done talking with Paige." Mom said, walking me to their sitting area, and I greeted dad. "How are you?" Dad asked, raising his head from his phone, while I stood behind the three seater. "I'm good, and you?" "I'm well. You didn't come home last night." Dad raised the topic to my surprise. I didn't expect him to talk about it. "Uhmm yes, I was uhh... I was out." I didn't really think anyone noticed nor did I even think he would ask hence I didn't prepare any response if asked why. "I know you don't fancy talking much, if there are nights where you intend to stay out please try to inform me or your mom at least. So that we have an idea of where you are and what you're doing." Dad advised and I nodded. "I will, thank you." I replied with a smile. He wouldn't know but the knowledge that he really noticed my absence warmed my heart more than I thought it would. For the first time in the past months, I smiled and it was genuine. "And also be careful, never forget to use protections, even with your mate, well unless you're both ready for more." He said, and I frowned. Protections and ready for what? "I am always careful, and I can protect myself but I don't know why I need to protect myself against my mate, or what we should be ready for, if I have one." I replied, honestly confused. [Oh dear Hades... The human you gave me is a nitwit.] Fenrir grumbled in a mocking voice, and I frowned. [What is your problem this time?] I fired angrily, because I don't understand how he is so fickle and complains about everything. I never knew Lycans to be so annoying. [Actually you're the one with the problem, not me, I won't even ask. I think your father would.] Fenrir responded, shaking his head. "I know you can protect yourself, that's not what I meant. I mean protection during sex, don't tell me you've never used protections? Don't be like your brother." Dad said, shaking his head, and I slowly started to pick up on what he meant. "I am not gay, and definetly won't get pregnant." I said with a frown, and he raised his head, looking at me. "I know, what I meant is you shouldn't get a girl pregnant for now." He replied, chuckling. "I don't have sex, I've never had sex." My response came out more defensive than I intended and dad stared at me with surprise written all over his face. "You're eighteen." Mom mentioned, walking towards us, and I turned to her. "Ehmm so?" I asked, my eyes travelling between her and dad. They shared a knowing look book clearing their throats. "We thought you've been going out to see your girlfriend, and that's the reason you sleep out sometimes." Dad said, and looked at mom to see she had the same puzzled expression on her face just like dad. "I don't have a girlfriend, I've never had one, I didn't think I needed one." I replied bluntly, and they both nodded, coughing lightly. They are acting so weird, and I wonder why they would think I was in a relationship. How can I be in a relationship with an outsider, when I don't even have a good rapport with any of my family members? If I cannot make a good relationship work between me and my family, how will it work with an outsider? Besides, what's the point of taking on the burden of having a girlfriend, if I'd probably just end up frustrated with her attitude and nagging. Women nag a lot, well at least my sister does, and I am not even that close with her, yet the few times we've had a conversation or that I've seen her having a conversation, she's always nagging and whining about something. I don't want that, I'll probably strangle my girlfriend out of annoyance, without even knowing. That's how destructive and evil I am. "Well...." Mom said, then turned to dad. "Is that a problem?" I asked, because they were acting as if not having a girlfriend at eighteen is a problem. "No, not at all. We just thought you had one, but now that you say you don't, it makes us wonder where you've been going." Mom said, and it seemed like she was being careful with her words. "Out and about. Is Alexius done with Paige?" I asked just so we could change the topic, and divert the attention from them scrutinising my love life. It's the first time we've had a proper conversation that's about me in years, if I'm not exaggerating and they think not having a girlfriend might be an issue. "Oh yes, he is. Let's go in." She stood up from dad's lap and I followed them into their bedroom. "Aloysius is here." Mom announced, as she opened the door, and I walked in to Paige and Alexius being the perfect mates in each other's embrace. "Aloy." Alexius called, in a concerned voice and I smiled at him. [You said he won't remember.] I called Fenrir. [He doesn't, trust me.] Fenrir replied, but the worry in Alexius' voice makes me want to believe otherwise. "Are you okay? I was worried that I hurt you, but mom said I didn't. I'm sorry if I did, I don't remember what happened after I warned you about Azar, I blacked out." Alexius said with a worry filled voice as I walked up to the bed. "I'm fine, you didn't hurt me, you passed out before you could." I told him, and he let out a sigh of relief, shifting off Paige's bed. He stood up, totally leaving me stunned as he pulled me in for a hug. "Thank you for finding me." He mumbled, pressing his face into my collarbone and I patted his back not knowing what else to do. This was weird, really weird and I'm not sure how or what I should feel at this moment. We broke the hug after a few seconds, and I cleared my throat, taking a seat from across the bed. "So we're trying to get a picture of what Delisha the witch looked like. Alexius says he can give a description of her face, can you sketch something based on his description?" Mom asked, and I nodded. "Sure, just be particularly precise about the shapes of her eyes, nose and jaw." I replied, placing my sketch pad on the top of the bedside drawer and I moved from the stool to sit on the floor. "I can be precise about that, I've seen her face enough to know the exact shape and size." Alexius replied, and I nodded. "Good then, you can start." I told him, picking up my drawing pencil. . . . . "Here." I said, tearing out the sketch I made and I passed it to mom. She and dad stared at the sketch for a few seconds before passing the sheet to Alexius. "Is that what she really looks like?" Mom asked. "Yes, this is her, with red hair." Alexius replied in a low angry voice. "Her features are slightly different from what I remember about Lisa, we'll take this Jason, and see if he has any picture that can help. If he doesn't we'll get this scanned and printed with colour, and send it around to packs and friends." Mom replied, and Alexius nodded. "Aloysius, thank you so much for helping with this." Mom said as I stood up, and I nodded. My service is done, and I don't want to be the fifth wheel if I remain here. "Have you had breakfast?" Dad asked, as I walked to the door, and I shook my head. "How about we hit the kitchen together? You can help me with a few things while I prepare breakfast." He suggested. I thought about declining his offer, but it seemed like he was making efforts like he always does. "Okay, I have nothing to do at the moment." I replied, and he smiled, kissing mom's forehead before standing up.
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