To Love and Avenge

Chapter 26

Sheila

I can sense something wrong by just watching him go. I know he is hiding something that I can’t figure out.

Thinking of Ale, I must go and see her confirm. Despite our closeness, she still has this wall built between us. I first thought that it was okay provided that she was in her situation, but as the time came, it turned out that I felt distrusted.

At first, I was kinda disheartened, but I realized that it was her way of coping, and as the only friend she has got, I have to understand her with all my heart.

She has been so secretive and aloof she doesn’t mingle with anybody unless it is necessary. So, news about Dauis is impossible.

Last night at the bar I can explain. She doesn’t seem to recognize Dauis firsthand, so why do they come to tell everyone a lie?

I wanted to ask, but asking this in front of Uncle is not the ideal time. I have to go and ask Ale myself.

Dauis should exempt Ale from his f*ck-up life.

Yes, Ale is a grown-up woman who perfectly knows what’s right or wrong. She is capable, smart, and sharp, very far from the Ale that we’ve known for a long time.

One can’t simply understand why we treated her this way. It's way more beyond what eyes can see. Beyond one can explain.

She came out strong in front of everything, she didn’t want anyone to pity her, but she pitied herself so much, that she hated and despised herself. For the nth time, she came shouting and crying at night. Tremble in fear. She had always been delicate and struggling.

I excused myself to walk up to her room.

While outside, I stayed for quite an ample time, pondering if it would be appropriate. Oftentimes, when she shuts the door, no one will have the courage to break in. We always wait for her to come out all by herself. But now, it will be different. She needed someone she could lean on. She must learn to lean on.

Ever since we were children, despite her weakness, she has never leaned on anyone, even her dad.

After pondering, I knock… once, twice, thrice…

But no one answered. Here she goes again. I checked her lock and was lucky enough that it was open.

I pushed open the door only to be welcomed by an empty bedroom. So quiet that if you don't observe closely, you might miss someone. I turned to her shower room and listened for a moment. Shower water is flowing consistently without any movement inside.

Where could she be?

I pushed it open…

I was nailed to the spot, taken aback by the sight. My heart shattered into pieces upon seeing her current situation…

There, beneath the shower, with her clothes still on and soaked, staring blankly on the floor, sitting with her knees pulled to her chest in an embrace.

The sight is very painful and pitiful to look at. I walked slowly without casting my gaze away from her. Joining her in the water.

Sensing my presence, her eyes moved slowly to look up at me, meeting with mine.

So red and swollen, and with a doleful expression.

I stayed with her, waiting for her to sober. I want her to see that I can be with her, that she can rely on me too. She doesn't need to carry this all by herself.

By doing so, soaking myself with her is my way of saying that she can share her agony with me. We were so close yet so distant, unable to reach her.

I reached to touch her shoulder and smiled understandingly at her. And in response, she held my hands that were resting on her as she smiled sadly at me.

“Ale, why are you here?” I asked.

“You’re here too,” she exclaimed.

“Indeed.”

I sat next to her and nest her in my embrace. She hugged me back tightly. She looked like a lost child that had finally found someone to cling to.

After a brief silence, I pulled her up with me.

“Come, let’s dry ourselves before we catch colds,” I said later on.

She then silently stood up with me obediently.

While drying ourselves, she speaks in a daze.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you and I care, we all care Ale.”

“I know…”

“And?” I ask. She then looks at me tiredly and stops at what she is doing.

“I don't want to drag them with me, they have moved on.”

“Why wouldn't you?”

“It keeps me alive,” she explains simply and resumes drying herself.

She takes some of her clothes and offers them to me. I thanked her and started to change.

I didn’t say more.

“You have something to ask?” she asks nonchalantly. I didn't know how she guessed.

“You tell me.”

After changing her clothes, she walked to the vanity and started to blow dry her hair.

“You can always ask, you know that. You don’t need me to guess.”

“Won't you lie?”

“It depends.”

“You trust me, don’t you?”

“Of course, it’s just that, there are some things that should be kept alone.”

“Why so?”

“Don't worry, I will tell you sometime later. Come here, I will dry your hair to compensate,” she said in a now light tone. Her mood is now starting to improve. Or she’s just too good at pretending.

“Don’t look at me like that, I know what you think.”

“You do?”

“More than you can imagine.” she said, winking, and then tilted her head and smiled at me warmly. I'm starting to think now that I have a bipolar friend. One time, she was so sad, then it shifted into a playful one.

“I'm not bipolar, you crazy b*tch!” and grabbed me to sit down.

“Can you blame me?” I asked and pouted at her.

“You don't have skill at reading, right, the one that likes some fortune teller,” I continued.

Surprised by my question, she paused from blow-drying and laughed crisply at me.

“Do I look like one? Of course not.” she later implied.

“You and Dauis… I mean…”

“Yeah, you look so suspicious,” she told me. I closed my mouth shut and waited for her to continue.

“We aren’t truly together. I was in the middle of this mess and had no idea how to escape when suddenly I bumped into him and I unexpectedly told him. We were in Aurora at that time. Due to lust and desire, I gave in to him, and, alas, we ended up in bed together.”

She is telling me this, like s*x, was just nothing. Does she even know that it will only complicate things?

“After that, he told me that he was going to send me back here and accompany me to tell dad that he’s going to marry me. Only then did I realize that he was and always crazy. So I ran away. What I didn’t expect was for him to come running here all by himself and tell dad those lies. I was supposed to accept whatever fate awaits me. Then, this…”

“You could have disagreed,” I suggested.

“He offered me a win-win solution, so why not? It’s more likely to be convenient,” she said.

So what I thought all along was right. But knowing Dauis, why on earth would he invest too much in this? This made me more curious and doubtful.

Anyway, I trusted Ale on this. She is smart and all everything, so I guess everything will be okay soon. What I am afraid of is when the old Alaister finds out. Not that he will punish his daughter, but I don't know about Dauis, he is still our friend and it makes me worried.

“Ale, are you still in your mother’s case?” I asked, changing the topic. She abruptly stops at what she is doing, leaving her hands hanging mid-air. I could sense that she tensed up.

“Uhm.. y-yeah.” she stammered and sighed deeply afterward. She walked and sat at the edge of her bed, with the brush and blower still in her hands, she averted her gaze. Preventing any eye contact with me.

I felt sorry and regretful. I shouldn't have asked since I already know the answer. She never once stopped, even a single minute of her life.

“I…”

“It’s okay,” she said and smiled at me.

“Now that I am starting a new chapter in my life, I guess it would be the right time that I should move on too. I will soon become a wife and maybe a mother too. This reason alone makes me want to keep myself altogether. I don't want my child to have a broken mother when the time comes. I can’t stay like this right.”

“Oh Ale, you will find peace when you learn to let go. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you will forget Auntie, but you just have to learn to live with it.” I said, pleased at her input.

“I should have done it long ago. I should have been better, but I was so cowardly when facing reality.”

“It doesn't matter anymore,” I said and hugged her. I'm glad that she finally thought about it. I always wanted to tell her this but was afraid that I might touch her soft spot. I just hope that she is serious this time.