Home of my Heart

Chapter One

The blinding light hits me and I don’t blink as I wait for my eyes to adjust to its brightness. Like white light suddenly fading, the camera crew materializes in front of me and I see the monitor that shows what I’m supposed to say. I fix my eyes on the camera, zeroing in on the lens as I project that image that I’ve had for the past three years.

Showtime.

I’ve been with Wake up Detroit for three years now, landing the job of being one of its backup hosts in the beginning. They only called me in to fill in if the main host was absent but I’ve delivered as best as I could so I could land the job and replace the main one. Even if it’s Edmund that landed me the job, I still like to believe that it was because I did well.

“We’re on in thirty seconds,” Joel, the director, says from where he sits. I position myself to work my angle better and I try to read what’s on the monitor first so I can have my own spin to it. I need to squint to see the words though because I forgot to put my contacts on this morning and glasses don’t work with my outfit right now.

The morning show is only thirty minutes in total if the commercial breaks are deduced. We don’t only deliver early news to the public, but we have guests that we interview from time to time. I was sort of aiming to be a late night talk show host but I landed this job first and at that time, I didn’t have the luxury of choosing. I needed a job to pay the apartment rent, my student loans, and so that I don’t starve myself to death.

In the end, WUD grew on me and the staff and director and producers became my family. Well, Edmund has a better role in my life than most. I left Callisburg with nothing but the letter in my hand and the clothes I could fit in a backpack, I didn’t expect that one day I could lead this kind of life. My dream in one hand and love in the other.

We’re nearly wrapping the show up when I hear the murmurs of the crew. It’s like they’re trying to catch someone but I’m not entirely sure. It’s only when I see a flash of red hair that I realize they actually are trying to catch a person. She stops beside the camera that I’m trying to focus on and the sight of her almost knocks my breath away.

She’s waving frantically at me and I can feel the eyes of everyone in the room. I feel like I’m about to break a sweat but I can’t break character. Instead, I continue to smile brightly at the camera. “And that’s all that we have for everyone today. Detroit, I’m sure you’re up by now. Start the day early and start the day happy, until tomorrow!”

I let a minute go by before my smile disappears and I rush to the redhead staring at me in awe. “Holy s**t, Aide, that was amazing! I saw everything outside and I thought you guys would be done after that band played so I rushed in. They wouldn’t let me come in even when I told them I’m a friend of yours!”

Security comes up behind her and I raise a hand. “She’s with me. Don’t worry.”

Harold raises an eyebrow in question. “If she’s a crazed fan, we need to follow protocol, Adrienne.”

I smile faintly at him and shake my head. “Believe it or not, she really is my friend.”

I don’t wait for him to respond. I grab Georgina’s hand and drag her out of the studio and to my trailer. I’m sure she’s taking the entire set in and I don’t need to turn around to see that big creepy smile on her face, the one that resembles the Cheshire cat. I open my trailer and head inside, crashing into the small loveseat that I have. I let Georgina take the small space in before I shoot my questions at her.

“What are you doing here, George?”

Georgina stops looking around and stares at me. I’m expecting that she’s still in awe but my questions seem to sober her up. “Wow, not even a hello?”

“You didn’t say hello to me either.”

Georgina rolls her eyes and then sits on the pink egg chair that I manage to squeeze in my trailer. “I still would’ve loved a ‘George! It’s so good to see you! How have you been? How’s Leon? I’m so sorry I left without an explanation eight years ago.’ That’d be so much better, Aide.”

I turn away so she doesn’t see me wince at her words. She was my best friend in Callisburg, my childhood partner-in-crime. More than once I’ve thought of contacting her when I was still in college but I was so scared of what she’d tell me. Georgina was never one to filter her words so they wouldn’t hurt too much.

She raises her eyebrows at me when I don’t say a thing. “I’m sorry would’ve been better than the question, Aide.”

I close my eyes for a moment and allow myself to sort through my thoughts. They’re piling in my head and I can’t think straight. Georgina’s presence brings so many memories of the past that I’ve tried so hard to shove away.

“I’m sorry.”

My voice sounds so out of tune when I say the words but I just can’t find the courage to genuinely say them to her. After all these years, I’m still a coward. I can’t face what I’ve done, the pain that I’ve caused everyone I left back in Callisburg.

I remember Dean calling me one night, telling me that Georgina had been crying to him all night long because she missed me. It was that night that I wanted to call her but I didn’t know how I was supposed to explain myself. And I didn’t have the courage to accept the truth that she would throw my way.

“I didn’t pester Dean to tell me where you are. Your brother’s principle is too hard to break,” she flashes me a slight smile. “It was easy to find you. You were all over the internet but I only looked you up after four years. My pride wouldn’t allow me to look for you at the time it was bruised.”

I find myself nodding understandably to her words. “I should’ve called you, George. I should’ve taken your scolding and reprimands and listened to you call me names.”

“You should’ve but you didn’t. Words can’t change the past eight years, Aide,” she tells me gently and then lets out a loud exhale, “anyway, I found a commercial of yours when you were still in college. Looked you up but only found that you were attending Wayne which I already presumed. It’s another year later that I found out you were hosting this morning show. Google can truly do wonders. Even find someone missing for eight years.”

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. I don’t actually trust myself to speak at the moment. I’m afraid that I might say the wrong thing and whatever Georgina came here for- if it was reconciliation- I might ruin it if I open my mouth. But Georgina stops her explanation right there and fishes out something in her bag.

The envelope is pretty, the color of a pleasing and gentle blue and a soft gold for the seal, and I already know what it is before she hands it to me. It’s smooth in my hand and I gently break the seal open and pull out the dark blue invitation inside. A smile makes its way to my face as I read the calligraphic words and the names.

You are cordially invited.

Eight years. Despite the way I left, she still wants me to be a part of this.

The tears prick at the back of my eyes as I try my best not to let them flow. It’s a hard battle to fight as the guilt creeps at the base of my heart and fills my entire being. Suddenly, I want to sob hysterically in the arms of the woman that I grew up with. But I’ve long mastered the art of indifference and I manage to catch myself before the tears fall.

“Congratulations,” I tell her, looking her in the eye and flashing her the most genuine smile I can muster. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for her. One of the things that Georgina always wanted in life was to marry the love of it. I’ve always known that Leon was that guy for her despite how she used to be so hesitant about pushing a real commitment with him.

“I still want you to be my maid-of-honor, Aide.”

In all honesty, the invite’s already too much to bear but the fact that she still wanted me to be a part of her entourage, to have such a big role in one of the biggest events of her life is a sucker punch to the gut. Here’s one of the people I left behind without a goodbye and she still wanted me to be a part of such an occasion.

“Eight years didn’t make me stop being your best friend,” Georgina tells me softly, her green eyes radiating the same warmth that I’ve been missing, “and I hope it didn’t make you stop being mine.”

My trailer opens again before I can respond and Edmund comes in. The moment he does, it feels like someone turned on my panic switch. Georgina looks at him and I can see her assessing him. Edmund looks like he’s born out of wealth, which is exactly true. He comes from a prominent family of doctors and lawyers but he chose to become a producer. He’s always been passionate with the shows and music he produces.

His good looks are definitely a bonus too. Neatly cropped brown hair and soft brown eyes, the kind that feels like a warm embrace every time his gaze is on you even when it’s hidden behind glasses. He wasn’t cocky either, nor did he flaunt the wealth that he had or his family had. The proper gentleman raised to be the standard for men.

He’s the kind of guy you’d bring home to daddy to introduce, the guy that your parents would approve of. For a time, he didn’t seem like a guy that I deserved but he was persistent and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Evidently, dating him seemed like a good idea. I haven’t regretted it since.

“Oh hello, I didn’t know that Adrienne had a visitor.” Edmund flashes her a kind smile and tips his head lightly as a polite greeting, “I’m Edmund Wells, it’s nice to meet you.”

I don’t miss the once-over that Georgina gives him. She doesn’t glance at me but I know she wants to. I’m not sure to what extent did Georgina Google about me but I’m betting she’s putting things together in her mind. Her back is facing me but that doesn’t mean I don’t know that she has a big smile on her face as she stands up and tries to shake Edmund’s hand.

“I’m Georgina Price. I’m Adrienne’s best friend back in Callisburg,” she informs Edmund and he shakes her hand with a bright smile on his face. I don’t even miss the twinkle in his eyes when she mentions that she’s someone from my hometown, from my past.

Edmund’s the kind of guy that respects the things that you don’t want to talk about and with me, it’s my past. I can tell him every single thing that I’m doing without a filter but I never told him about my past. It’s not something I want to discuss. We’ve scratched the surface. He’s met, Dean. He knows there’s a rift between my mother and I but he thinks it’s just because of my career choice.

But I know how much he wants to know every single thing about me. I know every little detail about him, his body, his family. Sometimes there are moments when it hits me that I’ve been unfair to him by withholding my past. But it’s not something I’m willing to divulge. Not yet. I’m not sure if I ever will.

“Really now? It’s nice to meet you. I’m her fiancé,” Edmund crosses the room and sits beside me on the small loveseat. He kisses the side of my head and my eyes are trained on Georgina as he does this affectionate gesture, “I don’t usually meet Adrienne’s friends back home so I’m really happy that you’re here.”

Georgina’s right eyebrow rise slightly and I know she’s trying her best not to let a comment slip out. I’m sure gauging my tense state and Edmund’s eagerness to meet her lets her conclude that he has no idea I simply left Callisburg.

I need to get out of here. I need to breathe. Even for a second.

“I need the bathroom,” I mutter and then stand up, heading to the back of the trailer. I lock the thin door and rest my head against it, knowing that it’s the only thing separating me from the meeting of my past and present.

I can hear them chatting and I listen as Edmund asks her question after question about my childhood and teenage years. Georgina’s eager to answer him and it suddenly hits me that she might make a comment about him.

Edmund doesn’t know a thing about my life in Callisburg and he certainly doesn’t know the role that he played in my life.

My hasty exit from the small bathroom in my trailer causes a ruckus and I almost tear apart the thin door. Edmund and Georgina stare at me in surprise and I flash them the sweetest fake smile I can muster. I might not be labeled as an actress but I sure as hell know how to be one.

“You two seem to be buddying up nicely,” I resume my seat beside Edmund and he places his hand on my lap, squeezing gently.

Edmund turns his head to me and grins. “I didn’t peg you to be quite the adventurer, babe.”

I shrug. “Well, what can I say, I had a little bit of Dora in me when I was young.”

Georgina snorts across from us. “Oh my gosh, remember the time that we thought you and Troy were missing?”

She stops short when she realizes the name she just dropped. Beside me, Edmund inches forward in his seat. “Wait, who’s Troy?”

“Just one of our friends in school,” I answer before Georgina could, “He’s the best friend of Georgina’s fiancé so since she dates Leon, I spent an ample amount with Troy too sometimes.”

His name tastes different in my mouth. It’s not a name I’ve uttered since I left Callisburg and saying it gnaws at my scars. It’s like a rock that is thrown at the dam and floodgates of memories come crashing in, almost knocking me out of breath.

“And what happened? Why were you guys missing?” It’s clear the Edmund didn’t pick up on the awkward pause from Georgina. I turn to her and subtly raise my eyebrows, willing her to finish her story in a different way.

“We wanted to go out hiking and Troy and Aide took a different route. Leon and I were busy making out that we didn’t realize they left us. We spent so hours searching for them never realizing that we were the ones lost,” Georgina tells him, reversing the entire thing.

I nod at her as subtly as I could and turn my attention to Edmund. I place a hand on his shoulder. “We should head to lunch, babe. Don’t you have a meeting with a new show after lunch?”

“Oh yes, yes. I totally forgot about it. Georgina, you’re joining us, right?”

There’s a part of me that didn’t want Georgina to join us for lunch. There’s been too much information dumped about my past and I know that Edmund’s eager to scavenge more from Georgina. It’s the part of me that wants to continue living this façade I created for myself the moment I got to Detroit. I want to believe that this is the only life I lived.

But we can run as far as we could but what we run from always catches up on us.

“Of course!” Georgina’s already standing, looking between me and Edmund and waiting for us to leave the trailer.

“I’ll see you both at the car. There are some things I need to grab back in the studio,” Edmund ducks out of the trailer and leaves me and Georgina to ourselves. I turn to my childhood friend and cross my arms.

“Oh girl, you’re not allowed to give me that look. I might have forgiven you for your past indiscretion but that doesn’t give you the privilege to act like you were cast as part of the Mean Girls.”

I falter at the word forgiveness. Now that Edmund isn’t with us, the tension lifts. I don’t have to tiptoe on eggshells. I should’ve warned Georgina, knowing the Edmund loves to come to my trailer right after I’m done with the show. But it didn’t cross my mind and when he came in, I was close to hyperventilating.

Georgina sees my reaction and then puts a hand on my arm and states, “He doesn’t know. And you don’t want him to know. Why?”

“I could never find the courage to tell him about my past,” I whisper, turning away, ashamed. “I’m not sure how I’m supposed to tell him that I ran away from home and left everything and everyone I love behind without saying goodbye or an explanation to pursue a career that would satisfy my ego. It makes me seem like such a vile person.”

“For a while, in my mind, you were,” Georgina teases, “but I won’t mention Troy again. At least, I’ll try not to.”

We both know about her tendency to just launch in a story without a filter and much thought. I’d rather have her try than not at all.