Home of my Heart

Chapter Four

I’m inside Leon’s car while he talks to Troy. I can feel Georgina’s burning gaze fixed on me but I don’t look at her. My eyes stay close as I rest my head against the window. The past minutes had drained me completely than the entire day had. I’m not sure if I have any energy left to tell Georgina what happened.

But I’m sure she saw my mother slamming the door to my face and I’m sure that serves enough of an explanation.

I feel a hand on my knee and I look up to see my best friend. Her green eyes are filled with concern. She pats me lightly. “There’s a spare room in my house. You can stay there.”

I nod but don’t say anything else. Leon comes back inside the car and straps himself in. He glances at me but doesn’t say a word. He turns his attention to his fiancé instead. “Troy’s going to follow us back at the house. He says since he’s already done with work, he can help me out with the barbeque.”

My eyes open and I shift my position so I’m in between the two of them. “What do you mean barbeque? Did you invite him over for dinner?”

Leon glances at Georgina wearily and Georgina sighs. “We invited a few people over, Aide. We haven’t asked which of our friends will be part of the entourage which is why we prepared to have dinner with them to tell them.”

I rub my hand against my temple in frustration. It hasn’t been 24 hours yet but I’m already regretting coming back to Callisburg. Georgina sees my reaction and then puts a hand on my knee again and says, “Aide, whether or not you didn’t come back with me or if your mother allowed you to stay at hers, the dinner will still happen.”

“I thought you weren’t leaving Detroit without me agreeing to be your maid-of-honor.”

She waves a hand as Leon starts the car and begins to drive away from my childhood driveway. “Leon could’ve hosted the party on his own and announced everything to everyone. Troy would’ve helped him out anyway.”

I don’t offer a reply because I’m too tired to think of an argument. No one ever wins an argument with Georgina anyway, not even Leon. “It’s not going to be so bad, Aide. The worst already happened.”

By worse, I’m sure she means bumping into Troy the first hour that I arrive in Callisburg. I’m sure she thought that my path with Troy wouldn’t collide until dinner but it seems like fate had another idea. The car ride doesn’t take too long and Leon parks his car in front of a garage. I get out of the car just in time to see the silver Cadillac parking beside Leon’s.

I don’t want to see Troy and turn my attention to the white house in front of me and stare at it with wide eyes. “Wow.”

Someone links arms with me and I turn to see Georgina right beside me. She’s smiling widely as she stares at her house. “I know. I have the same reaction every single day I come home. I’m not sure when it’s gonna wear down but it still takes my breath away every time.”

“This is amazing, George,” I tell her, squeezing her hand with mine, “and I’m so happy that you got your dream house. I can’t wait until there are mini versions of you and Leon running around.”

A bark catches me off guard and the front door suddenly opens. A golden retriever comes out, running straight into Georgina’s arms. She’s tackled to the ground in a fit of giggles while the dog licks her face. The sight warms my heart. I’ve always wanted a dog.

No, we always wanted a dog.

It had been one of our favorite topics when we were dating. Speaking of Troy, he’s standing beside me and watching Leon and Georgina interact with the hyperactive dog. For a fleeting moment, a thought comes to my mind. This could’ve been us had I not left.

Maybe in an alternate universe, this could’ve been us.

“Adrienne, meet Lance,” Georgina says, standing up and patting the dirt off her clothes.

I crouch down and Lance cautiously approaches me. I allow him to sniff my hand until he starts to lick my fist. I take it as permission to pet him. “He seems to like me.”

“Lance likes everybody,” Troy comments and crouches beside us, rubbing the dog behind his ears. I don’t respond to him and stand up, following Georgina and Leon into the house. I know that I’m being an ass. I’m the one who left and yet I’m the one acting like I’m the victim.

Sometimes when I’m put in a situation that I have no idea what to do, I act like a complete b***h to avoid sticky situations.

Georgina’s younger sister is waiting for us in the front door. She waves at me and it’s clear that she’s surprised to see me. “Adrienne! I didn’t believe Leon when he told me that Georgina got you to agree.”

Grace hugs me and I’m reeling over the fact that she looks so grown now. The last time I saw her, she was missing a tooth.

“Holy crap, you’re all grown up,” I tell her, squeezing her cheeks like I used to. She didn’t have round, huge cheeks anymore.

Grace rolls her eyes and then gives Georgina a hug and smiles brightly at her big sister. “Where're my fifty dollars?”

Behind them, Leon laughs and then pulls out his wallet and gives the cash to Grace who kisses his cheek. She tells us she needs to rush to the mall before the shop she wants to go to closes. Georgina rolls her eyes and heads to the kitchen to get the three of us drinks.

“We better get the grill going,” Leon says and then taps Troy on the back to follow him out to the backyard.

“What about Adrienne’s luggage?” Troy asks, pointing at my suitcase still at the end of the stairs. “She’s staying at the guest room, right? I’ll bring her suitcase right up and then I’ll follow you out.”

I’m not sure if that’s another code for ‘we need to talk’ because Troy doesn’t ask me to come up with him so I stay in the living room with Georgina while Leon heads to the backyard. A few minutes pass and Troy doesn’t come down. Georgina nudges me and nods at the stairs.

“I think he’s waiting for you in the room.”

I shake my head and reply, “He would’ve asked me to come up with him.”

“Oh god, Adrienne, did moving to Detroit make you stupid?” Georgina shakes her head and then motions her right hand to the stairs and says, “Go upstairs and see what’s taking him so long.”

I don’t want to. I don’t want to go into the room because I don’t want to answer any questions that he’ll throw at me. This is his chance to demand an explanation from me and eight years later, I haven’t entirely come up with a good one.

“Go upstairs or I’ll drag you there myself, Aide.”

I glare at Georgina but stand up from my seat. I make my way upstairs and immediately find an open door. When I peek inside, I see Troy sitting on the bed, his head in his hands. The sight tugs at my heart. How many times had I found him in that position during the course of our relationship? How many times had we argued and he sat in that position on our bed with his head hanging low and the anger seeping out of him?

How many times had I held him in that position while he cried because of his broken dreams?

The sight breaks my heart but I don’t let it break my resolve. “Hey.”

Troy looks up and blue eyes meet mine. His gaze almost makes me crumble. “I was wondering when you were coming up. I thought you’d follow me.”

“You didn’t ask me to.”

His eyebrow rises up. “You were never one to be asked directly. You’ve always taken pride in how well you read between the lines.”

I clench my fists at the statement. “And you were never one to be impatient. You could’ve called me downstairs and asked me to come up.”

“Would you?”

The question is simple but caught me off-guard. I turn away from him and say, “I’m here now, Troy. What do you want to say to me? What do you want me to do?”

When he looks at me, it feels like his gaze is burning my flesh so he can see to my heart. Then he surprises me by allowing a short chuckle to pass his lips. “It’s funny how I have a million and one questions- each of them angrier than the previous one- but I don’t know which one I should ask you first.”

He motions for me to take a seat on the bed. I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do but I do it anyway. But I make sure that we’re distanced from each other. I don’t want to come too close, afraid that the close proximity will trigger more than just the guilt that I’m feeling.

“I want to ask you why, Adrienne, I really do. I want an answer to every why that caused me late nights,” Troy says, “but I know that asking the questions will make me angrier and I don’t want my anger to ruin the rest of the night for me.”

“You used to take pride in riding your emotions until it got you the answers that you needed, even at the cost of ruining someone else’s event,” I tell him, staring down on the carpet in the room.

“Eight years can change a person, Adrienne,” he whispers and I can feel his breath on my neck. He’s close, I can feel it. I don’t turn my head, afraid that he’s too close and our lips would brush. “And I’m not that kind of guy anymore.”

I feel his head rest on my shoulder and I close my eyes at the feel of his skin against mine. We stay like that for a little while until Troy lifts his head up and then stands up. He puts his hand inside the pockets of his jeans and sighs.

“I want my answer but now isn’t the right time to have them,” he tells me calmly. I don’t know how he can manage to remain calm right now. He has every right to demand me answers, he has every right to be angry, and after all, I left him.

But he’s not seething with rage nor is he crying out of anger. I don’t even see it in his blue eyes. He just stands there in front of me, as calm as the stilling ocean. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to scare me even more.

I almost sigh in relief in front of him but manage to stop myself from doing so. “What are we going to do? Georgina will skin both of us alive if one of us leaves.”

Troy shakes his head. “Just because we haven’t patched things up doesn’t mean that we can’t be in the same room together. We can agree to be civil, just for tonight.”

I’m not sure if I’m willing to agree to his suggestion and he sees my hesitation. “C’mon Aide, it’s not like you have a choice in this. You’re the one who left and put the two of us in this position.”

I purse my lips and turn away from his gaze. “Fine. But we’re not going to cross each other’s path purposely. I want the rest of my night to be drama-free. I’ve already had enough at my mother’s.”

When I look at him, I see the crooked smile on his face, the smile that never failed to leave me giddy and the butterflies in my stomach to go crazy. Right now, that’s not the case. All it does is break my heart even more.

“You could’ve avoided that too if you only explained it to her.”

“I had Dean tell her why. He told me she refused to hear him out.” I sound defensive as I answer him but I did not want him to judge me of all people. He knows the relationship that I’ve had with my mother and he knows how distant we’ve always been with each other. He should understand.

“She would rather have you do it than him.”

I stare Troy long and hard. “How the hell are you an expert on my mother?”

“When you gave the two of us something to relate each other with,” Troy answers and then he moves closer to the door. He turns his attention back to me and says, “I’m going to head down and help Leon with the grill. I won’t be in your way unless I absolutely have no other choice.”

He’s about to leave when I call his name, “Troy!”

He stops and cranes his neck to see me. “Yes?”

An apology isn’t what comes out of my mouth, rather another question that’s been bugging me since we left my mother’s house. “Why is she selling the house?”

When my parents bought the house, my Dad had told me that it needed major repairs. He rebuilt the place mostly on his own, and it became his first-year anniversary gift to my mother. I know that my mother valued that house a lot and I can’t understand why she would want to sell it.

“I told you, it’s too big for one person to live in.”

I shake my head. “Don’t give me that crap, Troy. Tell me why she wants to sell that house.”

Troy faces me this time and it’s only then that I see the emotions in his blue eyes. It’s a raging ocean of blue right now, the anger and pain swirling around them. Maybe the calm has gone and the storm’s coming. But he closes his eyes and when he opens them, the fire inside is extinguished.

“Sometimes a place holds too many memories, Adrienne. A lot of them can be good but there are times that the good ones hurt most. We can bear them for as long as we want but sometimes the pain catches up to us and we either drown in it or run away.”

He stares at me long and hard and I know that he wants his words to make it through my heart. It does and it breaks it even more. “When she told me that, I completely understood. After all, I’ve done the same thing to ours.”