Home of my Heart

Chapter Three

If you told me last Sunday that I’d find myself in an airplane on Wednesday bound to the place I ran away from, I would’ve laughed at your face. There were countless times when I’d imagined going home, but that never happened. My fear prevented me from going back. I didn’t know how I was supposed to face the people of Callisburg because a small town like that sure as hell knows what happened between Troy and me.

Beside me, Georgina’s fast asleep and snoring. We stayed up all night last night exchanging stories about our college lives, and stories we’ve missed. But we’ve only scratched the surface. There are a lot more adventures and misadventures that I’d love to share with her.

When my resolve broke last night, I suddenly remember how much I miss having someone to talk to. Like, talk to on a level that you know they would never judge, and talk about issues that are off-topic at the dinner table. It’s one of those things I’ve been missing for the past eight years, and no matter how much I tried looking for a person who could be that friend to me or trying to have Edmund become that person, it never worked.

“You have to stop staring at me. Everyone else will think that you’re secretly in love with me or something,” Georgina says with closed eyes. I chuckle, and then turn my head forward, staring at the back of the seat in front of me. “Why aren’t you tired, Aide? We barely had any sleep.”

I shift in my seat and play with my hands, a nervous habit that I’ve never broken. “I’m just a little worried. It’s been eight years. A lot has changed in Callisburg.”

“True. Except for the infrastructures and shops. Most of the downtown area isn’t like it was before new restaurants popped up, and a huge Target store too.” Georgina opens her eyes and then positions herself so she’s facing me. “It’s also a little bit more populated now. But most of the people we know still live there.”

I roll my eyes and rest my head on the seat, and then close my eyes for a moment, wishing that a fairy would tap my head with her magic wand and all my worries will disappear. “I don’t think anyone will be excited to see me, Georgie.”

“Are you kidding? Leon’s pissing his pants in excitement,” Georgina says. This earns a chuckle from me, and I rest my head on her shoulder. She pats my lap, and then says, “Stop worrying about everyone else, Aide. Callisburg is always going to be your home, even when the majority of the people there are pissed at you for leaving Troy.”

“I’m not entirely sure how that’s supposed to be comforting.”

“I didn’t intend for it to comfort you.”

I give her a look, but she only grins back at me, not even seemingly guilty for what she just said. “Can we talk about something to get my mind off of Callisburg?”

“How’d you meet Edmund?”

My eyebrows rise in surprise at the directness of the question, and then I realize that she must’ve been itching to know more about my relationship with Edmund. She wasn’t privy to much of my life in Detroit yesterday or last night. We mostly talked about what happened while we were in school, and how we had ended up with the jobs we currently have. She knows that Edmund managed to help me get into WUD, but she never asked if that’s the reason I started dating him or that was why I stayed with him.

“He is one of the producers who was usually invited during events in Wayne,” I tell her as I think back to the first time I met Edmund. “It was during my first hosting event in Wayne that I met him. He complimented me, but also criticized when I faltered. It came to a point that I’d seek him out and ask him if I was doing any better at every event I hosted. It took five events until he finally asked me out.”

“And you immediately agreed to go on a date?”

I shake my head and allow a shy smile to spread across my face. “Actually, no. Most of my college friends were teasing me about him already, and he was no doubt good-looking, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready for a relationship. At that time, I was in my third year of university, and I wanted to make sure that nothing distracted me. A relationship would be just that.”

I chew on my bottom lip for a moment because that wasn’t the only reason why I’d rejected Edmund’s first attempt at wooing me. “I never told him that I was still scarred from my previous relationship.”

I wait for Georgina to ask questions, to probe the statement further, but she didn’t. She nods her head, signaling for me to continue. “Edmund took it in stride. He waited until I graduated before he asked me again. I said yes. I thought it was respectful of him to wait. He deserved a chance.”

“And you getting into WUD wasn’t because of him?” Georgina says cautiously.

I roll my eyes and shake my head at her question. “Before we started dating, I auditioned to be the host for WUD. They hired me as a part-time host, but the main host couldn’t do her job well, and so, I soon became her replacement. I still like to think I got the job because of my skills.”

“And partly because Edmund was the producer,” Georgina adds, wiggling her eyebrows and grinning like a fool. She touches my arm and says, “I’m kidding, Aide. I’m happy you found a really great guy.”

“Where’s the ‘but’?”

“Don’t put words into my mouth.” She narrows her eyes at me and shakes her head. “Please stop thinking that I’ll judge the life that you’re leading now. We’re too old for that, Aide. You made your choice eight years ago, and here we are now, eight years later. What matters to me is that you’re agreeing to be my maid-of-honor.”

I feel her hand touch mine, and she gives it a gentle squeeze. For the rest of the trip, I allow my mind to calm down. I’m not sure when I fall asleep, but a few hours later, Georgina is shaking me awake, and she isn’t even doing it gently.

“We’re home!” The excitement is written all over her face, and for a moment, for a fleeting moment, I allow myself to bask in it too. But the moment is gone before I can grasp it, and I’m suddenly filled with terror and dread.

Georgina sees my reaction and then puts a hand on my face, gently patting my cheek. “You’re going to be fine, Aide. Callisburg is still home to you. And if you think otherwise, then please know that you’re here for me and not anyone else.”

I nod my head, and she practically drags me out of the chair. She’s holding my hand as we leave the plane, and even as we get our bags. I think she’s scared that I might dash off to take another flight back to Detroit. She’s like a mother dragging her kid around the airport. But it’s a good thing that we don’t bump into someone we know. We landed in Nashville. It’s not every day that someone from Callisburg comes home.

“Baby!” Georgina suddenly lets go of my hand and jumps into a familiar blond man’s arms. This could’ve been my chance to run away, but I find myself rooted to the spot as I watch the two of them reunite. Georgina’s been gone for a day and a half, yet they both act like she’s been gone for a year.

It’s nice to know that some things haven’t changed in the dynamic of their relationship.

“Adrienne?” Leon’s voice is still as high-pitched and childlike as I remember. His blond hair is still long, and he has it tied in a ponytail. His hazel eyes twinkle with delight as he takes me in. And then, he opens his arms wide, and I laugh, hugging him the way I used to.

When we pull away, he ruffles my hair and stares at it in amazement. “You’ve gone blonde! I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”

It’s nice that he doesn’t mention that it’s been a while since we’ve last seen each other, but rather focuses on the first thing he notices about me. Leon takes our luggage from us while we walk beside him to his car.

It’s nice being with Leon and Georgina again. Leon makes it seem that nothing has changed. He’s always been a nice balance with Georgina. They’ve always made such a great team. And it’s nice having Leon because I know that he’s not as much of a gossip as Georgina, and he knows how to shut her up when she’s becoming too much to handle.

The ride to Callisburg is uneventful, filled with laughter and a ton of catching up with me and Leon. We grabbed a quick bite of lunch, and then we’re on our way to Callisburg again. It’s a two-hour ride, but it’s not something any of us weren’t used to. We used to go to Nashville a lot when Leon got his license, so the driving part is a breeze.

It’s only when I see the sign that my nerves spike up again. When Leon takes the familiar turn to my childhood home, my nails dig into the back of the car seat. “Georgie, you didn’t tell me you are making me stay home with Mom.”

She cranes her head to meet my eyes. “Dean’s renovating the house he bought. He’s staying at your mother’s currently. Since you told me you wanted to stay with him, this is what we thought you meant.”

“You know my mother hates me.”

Leon scoffs. “Oh please, Aide, don’t be so dramatic. No parent hates their kid.”

I give Leon a look. “You’ve met my mother, Leon.”

He parks the car right in front of my mother’s house and stares at it through his window. He has a thoughtful look on his face, and then he turns to me. “Yes. I have but a lot can change in eight years, Adrienne. You wouldn’t know if you don’t get your ass out there and knock.”

I stare hard at the familiar porch that held memories I’ve tried to escape when I came to Detroit. It’s only then that I notice a car parked outside the garage. “I never imagined Mom would buy a new car.”

The shining silver Cadillac sits pristine in front of the garage door and when Georgina and Leon turn their attention to it, it surprises them. “What the f**k, how could I forget?”

I tilt my head so I can have a clearer view of Leon’s face but I can barely see his reaction. When he turns his head to face Georgina, that’s when I see that shock and panic in his eyes. I’m guessing that this isn’t what they were expecting but I still can’t figure out what’s going on.

When the front door opens, it’s then that I understand.

The sight of Troy beside my mother is odd. They didn’t get along during the course of the relationship and my mother always kept him at arm’s length. But seeing them side by side, I can see the casual familiarity in their actions. Troy doesn’t look a bit tense as he chats with her; when we were dating, he was always stiff and rigid and you could see it in his body language.

It’s also only then that I notice the sign planted on my mother’s front lawn. She’s selling the house. I’m not sure what possesses me to get out of the car but that’s exactly what I do and when my mother sees me, it’s clear that I’m the last person she’s expecting.

“Adrienne?”

The mention of my name seems to shock Troy. His back is turned on me so he didn’t see me coming. Slowly though, he turns around and I brace myself. This is the man that I left eight years ago and this is not the kind of reunion that I imagined. I know that I’m bound to bump into him at some point when I agreed to come back with Georgina but I did not expect that I’d see him so soon.

My mother is my saving grace because before I can meet Troy’s eyes, she brings my attention back to her when she speaks, “Adrienne Anne, what in the world are you doing here?”

I gawk at my mother’s words. I already had a feeling that I will not be welcomed but it still stings nonetheless. "Hi, Mom.”

Eight years didn’t seem to affect Miyoshi Willis at all. She still looks like the same woman that raised me all my life. The only indication that she’s getting old is how her back is slightly hunched and it makes her look shorter than I remember. Her dark hair is still tied in a tight bun and she still wears the same circular black-rimmed glasses that made her look like an Asian librarian.

Behind the thick-framed glasses, her dark eyes stare at me with obvious contempt.

I’m not sure how many minutes had passed since I greeted her but she continues to stare at me with the condescension. I want to turn my head to the side to avoid her beady gaze but it means looking at Troy and I’d rather take on my mother’s disdain that looking at him.

“What are you doing here, Adrienne?” Mom finally asks and the question breaks my heart. There was a small part of me that hoped that she had forgiven me for my past indiscretions but I guess that’s not the case.

My mother and I never saw each other eye to eye. When my father died, our relationship only dwindled. Between Dean and me- in her eyes at least- I was the rebellious child who never did what she asked me to. She wanted me to become a doctor but practically living in a hospital was the last thing I wanted to do for my entire life.

Mom also wasn’t Troy’s biggest fan. She hated that I was dating him and hated him more when I opted to take a gap year to take care of him rather than heading straight into college. But I’m not sure if she still hates him until now, given how close they seem when I saw them talking.

“I came back for Georgina’s wedding,” I answer her, pointing at Leon’s car parked in the driveway.

“What are you doing in my house?”

“Why are you selling the house, Mom?” I ask her instead, not answering her question.

Mom narrows her eyes at me but it’s not her who answers my question. “It’s too big for one person, Adrienne.”

His voice is deeper than I remember and I try my best to refrain myself from closing my eyes and letting his voice reverberate to my soul. He always had that effect on me. Eight years later, it seems like he still does. Damn.

“It’s nice for you to come back for Georgina’s wedding,” Troy tells me and I finally look at him. There’s weariness in his blue eyes as he talks to me and I’m not sure if it’s because it’s been a long day for him or seeing me again affects him.

I slowly nod my head. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Mom clears her throat and I turn my attention back to her. “You haven’t answered my question.”

Troy answers her question for me. I used to appreciate that when he did it when we were dating, I don’t appreciate it now. “I think she’s here because she needs a place to stay.”

My mother stares at him for a moment and then at me, disbelief clear in her eyes. She scoffs and shakes her head and says, “I’m not sure what led you to believe that you’re welcome to stay here. You left this house before you left Callisburg. What makes you think that I would welcome you here?”

The reason I left the house is right beside me and she knows it. Troy doesn’t seem fazed by her statement though. I want to explain to her but she doesn’t let me. Instead, she continues talking, “Eight years, Adrienne, and all I got from you were postcards. I didn’t think a child could break her mother’s heart like that but you set a standard.”

She doesn’t wait for me to respond because she simply nods at Troy as if that’s enough for a goodbye and then slams the door shut on my face. I close my eyes and rub my face against my palms. Beside me, Troy doesn’t move.

“The house is really big for one person, Adrienne.”

I can’t believe that’s the first thing he says to me after eight years. “I know that, Troy.”

“Eight years and you couldn’t have apologized to her even through a phone call or letter?”

I’m not sure if he’s asking the question for my mother’s sake or his but I don’t know how I’m supposed to answer it. I look at him; at the familiar pair of blue eyes that still haunts me in my dreams. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to say, Troy.”

“Well, you can’t blame her for holding a grudge on you,” he tells me as the two of us walk down the steps of the porch and make our way to Leon’s car. I’m bracing for his demanding questions but as we near Leon’s car, he doesn’t utter a single one.

When we reach the car, I turn to look at him. He stands there behind me, his hands in his pockets. He looks nothing like the guy I left eight years ago. The years had done him well, made him look refined. But I remember Georgina’s words from last night when she told me that there was sadness that surrounded him.

I see it too and I know that it’s because of me.

“It’s nice to see you again, Adrienne.”

I’m not sure if the feeling is mutual for me.