FIVE
2087 Words
“So this is the long road. I am almost at my end, right?”
“Yes”
This is her last day being with me. She had already come to her last spot. I don’t know what I am feeling right now. I have been doing this for a very long time but… today, why do I feel very sad.
I don’t feel like this before.
As if I don’t want to let her go.
“So… you will be going to walk with me, Dark?”
“Yes, of course. I won’t leave you until you pass this road”
I said without looking at her face. I don’t like this feeling. I am annoyed with her right? I don’t like her being so touchy and everything but… why am I like this today?
Stop this Thanatos. You are not being yourself. After she passes this road everything will go back to normal okay? So calm down.
“Nice… hmm so, why don’t we have some chit-chat while we’re passing?”
“Sure”
I can’t say anything much. As if my lips are fixed to shut at this moment.
“Can you… hold my hand?”
I am surprised when she offer me her hand. I quickly looked at her face and I saw her smiling. Why is she like that? Unlike any other soul, it seems like she wanted this already, she wanted to go to the afterlife without any hesitations.
“S-sure…” I say as I intertwine my hand on hers. After that, we start walking.
A guess for the first time, a soul wanted to hold me while we are passing this road. Most of the time I am just behind them, or a bit far from them but now, I am close to this soul. She’s different and a bit crazy. But she made me feel like I am not such a monster, she made me feel like I am not that dark or bad or anything devilish.
I am far from being what they think I am. Most of the souls are afraid of me, they think I am a monster or something that will hurt them. I know most of the time I look scary or I act scary and strict but I am just obeying the rules. And one of the rules is that I shouldn’t be attached to any of the souls that I am taking to the afterlife. That is why I always act like I don’t care.
But this time, Mara has ruined the walls. She passed my boundaries and try to be close to me. She even uses her wish with me, which I even never expected. It is all my first time and I feel like I was caught off-guard. It feels like I don’t know what to do or say or act in front of her because everything is new to me. And sometimes I feel like we are not pretending anymore.
WAIT, WHY AM I THINKING THIS WAY? THIS SHOULD NOT BE LIKE THIS.
“Dark? What are you thinking?”
“H-huh? What? Nothing” I came back to reality when I heard her voice. I started to clear my throat. So is it really obvious that I am thinking a lot of things? She always catches me like this.
“Okay…” after that she started to move closer to me and look at my face. Oh no, she is doing this thing again. I feel awkward! “Dark? Are you going to miss me?”
“H-huh?”
I stopped for a moment and looked at her confusingly. Why does she have to ask that?!
“Are you going to miss me?”
AND SHE REALLY REPEATED HER QUESTION HUH. I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT THING.
“Uhmm… let us continue walking? This road is a bit long you know hehe” I just start to walk slowly, away from her, detaching my hands to hers. I am trying to change the topic here, and I don’t want to answer her question.
“Hmm… so I think you don’t. I guess it is true. Grim reapers don’t have any feelings”
“What?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to say that I will miss you. Really. Even if we just had a short time together, I felt very happy”
She seems like she was about to cry but I went near her and touched both of her shoulders.
“You will always be my light. Please remember that.” I don’t have any idea why I said that but… I feel relieved when I did it.
She just smiled at me and hold my hand again. We start to walk again.
“Dark?”
“Hmm?”
“What will happen to me next when I pass the end of this road?”
“You will be going to your afterlife”
“What is beyond that afterlife?”
No one knows what lies behind the end of that road. Even I don’t know what happens to the soul when they pass. I don’t have the right to figure it out. I just need to do my job as it is.
We just had a few minutes of silence after she asked me that thing. I don’t even know what to say.
“I guess… it is a surprise huh” the tone of her voice has changed. In a way that it became soft and...sad. This shouldn’t be like this.
“Y-yeah…”
“If I went there… am I still going to remember you?”
She has a lot of questions that I don’t know the answers to. And each question makes me feel sad too. I don’t like this.
“Light,”
“Yes?”
“Whatever it is underneath this road, I know and I assure you that it’ll be good. You lived your life full of pain and sorrow. It is your time now to have peace and happiness. You will have that there” even if I am uncertain, I said these things for her not to worry about anything. I don’t want to see her like this, especially it is the last moment of her with me.
“Okay, thank you for telling me that” I see her smile again, and that is a relief. I want her to stay like that as of the very last moment.
After that, we became silent again. And this feels weird to me. Because most of the time she’s very talkative, she always annoys me, she always teases me.
A few minutes had passed and we’re now halfway to the end. I feel like I want to turn back time.
“Dark, why don’t we make it fun?”
“Fun?”
“Yes! Let’s play”
“What?!”
This woman is crazy! Up until now, she is still crazy. I don’t really know what is going on with her mind right now.
“Yes. Let’s race”
WHAT THE? WHY IS SHE LIKE THAT?
“Race? Really? Are you nuts or something?”
“Please, Dark” She became serious. I hate this but, It seems like I have to do her request.
“Okay… I’m listening.”
“Let’s race and the loser will say a message to the winner”
“What message?”
“Message of truth. Anything that you want to say, which should be all true. Without lies or fillers”
Message huh. It is somehow exciting… to her.
“Okay fine”
“And the winner will ask one question, which you have to answer honestly”
“What?!”
“Go!!!” WAIT, WHAT? A QUESTION? SHE JUST STARTED TO RUN! I AM STILL TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON HERE THEN SHE RAN ALREADY?
I have no choice but to run after her. I can say that she’s fast. I tried to chase her but she’s getting too far. Why is she like that? Is she a runner when she’s still alive?
“Hey, Mara wait!”
“I am your Light remember?”
“Yeah, okay, Light wait!”
“No *laugh*” okay now she’s teasing me like that? I have never run like this before. I don’t even know why I agreed with this game. She’s crazy, and I guess I am crazy too.
I ran and ran and ran until I saw her stopped.
“I won. This is the end of the road, Dark”
Damn it. Am I that slow? I am not able to chase her. I just see her back right now while she’s looking down.
“Are you a runner or something? You are too fast”
“I am a gold medalist back then”
That’s why. That’s why she chose this game because she knows that I will lose. Very clever.
I walk closer to her. Then I touched her shoulder. She then faced me with a smile on her face.
“You lose. So what is your message to me?”
I pause for a while. I start to think about what I want to say to her that is true and without lies.
“You annoy me every time” Oh great Thanatos, that is a great message.
“What? That’s your message?” She was confused. Well, I am too.
“Y-you annoys me every time but… I still wish the best for you”
Okay, I think that is good enough. It is better to say less.
After I said that she moved closer to me again and looked directly into my eyes. I looked away. I don’t want her doing that to me.
“Look at me. You’re always like that, Dark. For the last time at least look me in the eye”
When she said that, I started to face her and look at her. I am like a puppy here who does whatever she says.
“Now, I am going to ask you a question, and I want you to answer it honestly.”
She’s serious and I am a bit nervous about the question that she’s going to ask me. I just looked at her and I never responded.
“Dark, do you like me?”
My eyes widened. I am very surprised. What is this? She wanted me to confess?
“Dark, I don’t have much time left. Answer my question. Do you like me?”
“Yes”
DID I REALLY--- MAYBE I WAS HYPNOTIZED YES. BY HER EYES. MY GOODNESS THANATOS, REMEMBER THE RULES? WHAT NOW?
“I like you too. *smiles* take care, Dark”
She then started to walk away from me. I want to hold her right now, I want to hug her, and… kiss her.
But… I should not.
I need to control myself. Rules are rules. I should not be initiating those things right now. Yes, I hugged her or kissed her before but I did that because she wanted me to. But this time, I can’t do those things because she never tells me to do so. It will just show that I really break one of the rules.
“Goodbye… Light” I said, holding back my feelings to her.
For the last time, she turned and look at me. Then after that, she continues walking until she vanishes before my eyes. She already passes the end of this road… and I will never see her again.
Ever.
“So how was it?”
I am surprised when Nemesis suddenly pops out beside me.
“How’s what?” I said without even looking at her. I just started to walk.
“Your job? What’s going on? Are you alright?”
“Yes, of course, I am”
“Are you sure?”
I stopped for a while and face her.
“Yes Nemesis, please I don’t have time for this right now”
“Hmm… you act different Thanatos”
“Nemesis, stop”
“Mara will be fine. She went to the afterlife happily, and it is because of you”
“Y-yeah, yeah I know”
“Then what bothers you right now?” she touched one of my shoulders and looks at me with sincerity. I am not fond of her being like that to me.
“My unfinished business”
“What unfinished business is that?”
“It’s Sally…”
- Writer
