Something Borrowed

Chapter 13. The Main Lead

Chapter 13. The Main Lead

(Tamara)

Tamara read the e-mail again and her body shuddered involuntarily. She didn't know why June had the incessant need to bother others, even after death? Why did she have to be the center of attention, even after death? Why couldn't she die and go away like a normal person? But then, June had never been a normal person, now was she?

Tamara closed the phone off. Now she was not going to sleep at all. She checked the time and it was already six thirty in the morning. She looked at Joel and he was peacefully snuggling with the pillows. Her heart gave a mighty tug. He looked so peaceful, with his mouth half opened as he slept. Like an angel.

Tamara was sure that June was telling the truth. Someone did kill her, but thinking about it made her shiver. Cold fear ran through her blood as she rubbed her hands together, warming herself a little bit. If June was right, someone in this town, someone she might have known all her life, was a killer and the thought of that, just the thought of that, it was enough to put a damper on Tamara's mood. One night of s*x with her ex-husband, and it was as if June could sniff Tamara's happy hormones from wherever the hell she was now... and couldn't bear that Tamara was happy without her. And ding. A mail.

It was nerve-wracking. Tamara shook her head to dispel the thought of her dead friend and put the phone inside her trouser pocket before she walked outside. Lucas was still softly snoring. He looked like a weirdly shaped pretzel.

She smiled a little when she thought about their radezvous inside the bathroom and then she shook her head. She couldn't do that. She couldn't fantasize about him. It was a one-time deal. That was all it was. He was very clear, and she was clear, as well.

"Tamara, dear, do you want a cup of coffee?" It was Rosaline. Tamara gave her a smile as Rosalie's grateful smile reached her eyes. "Oh, dear... you helped us a lot. It was... a thank you can't mean much, but still, you were a godsent."

"It is not a problem at all, Rosaline," Tamara said, as Rosaline handed her a cup of coffee. Tamara grabbed the warm cup and took a sip and moaned. "This is perfect. If you promise this every morning, I will gladly do the sleepover with Joel," Tamara said, and Rosaline gave her a sharp look that made Tamara feel like her brain was being scanned. I am not sleeping over with your son, Tamara almost wanted to scream, but she kept the confession in. It wouldn't be very prudent to just blurt it out to the woman.

When she finished the coffee, she washed the cup, thanked Rosalie and said good-bye to her before she walked towards he own home. She needed a fresh bath and then she needed to think about June's letters and the claims in the letter. If someone had really killed June, then what she had said about Joel being in danger might just be true, and Tamara didn't want to take that chance.

She knocked on the door and her mother opened. "You look- um... like you have had a long night." Her mom said with a meaningful look in her eyes and Tamara rolled her eyes with a frown. No matter how hard her mother looked, Tamara wasn't going to tell anything to her mom.

"Yes, I have, all thanks to you. Next time, mom, if you want to help someone, you should offer your service. Not mine." Tamara grumbled, but she wasn't really angry about it. She was rather grateful her mother had pushed her out of the house and slammed the door shut on her face. Yep.

"Oh, don't go all pouty on me now, Tammie. Go on, I have made pancakes, muffins and buttered sausage with eggs. Take a bath and brush and come down." Her mom said, as if Tamara was still in middle school. Tamara huffed, but there was no use in explaining it to her mom. Her mom had always been a little overbearing at times, but other than that, she was a really good mom.

"Yes mom," she said as she climbed the stairs and entered the bathroom. Her stomach was already grumbling for food. She finished showering and her eyes widened when she saw a pink bruise on her neck. Sh*t.

Is that a- hickey! Oh, s**t. She hadn't had one in a long, long time. Why the hell would Lucas do that? Now she had to try so hard to hide it away, and Holly- Holly's eyes were like hawk's eyes. Holly could see things that didn't even exist! Tamara huffed as she walked out of the shower. She looked for something to cover it. Either an old scarf, or a faded cowl neck top with glitter—it was something Holly had bought for her during college—were her two choices and she chose the scarf. It was less tacky, more a style statement.

She walked down to see Neil and Nat, who were already at it. They were fighting over the blueberry muffins, even though there was a plate full of them. These two never got along well, but when anyone else did something to the other, they would defend each other with everything they had. It was a strange dynamic, but she knew Nat and Neil could never live without each other.

"Umm, that is a very strange wardrobe choice for this warm morning," Holly commented as she walked in with Ray on her hips. Oh, s**t. Tamara had prayed that she wouldn't run into Holly this fine morning, but when had anything ever gone according to her plan? Never!

"Hi, Holly. Did you sleep well?" Tamara asked as she piled her plate with food.

"Yes. I did. Did you?" Holly narrowed her eyes. And then her eyes widened. Tamara was already panicking. "You were in the bathroom wi-"

"Do you need some blueberry muffins, Holly?" Tamara picked one and then pushed it fully inside Holly's opened mouth. Holly gasped and coughed before she spat it out.

"No one would ever believe you two are grownups." Her mom said as she stood up to clean up the mess Holly made as Holly continued to look at Tamara with a soft frown.

"You, me, out. Now," Holly said, and Tamara sighed as she followed Holly. She knew what was coming next. She rubbed her eyes, cursing Lucas for giving her a damn hickey. They weren't in high-school. He should have known how to be discrete. "What the hell are you thinking?"

Tamara had expected teasing, goading, but she had never expected the yelling. She blinked at her sister, wondering what was so wrong. "What?"

"Tamara... it took you years to get over him and you throw it all for-"

"It is just a one-night stand," Tamara said with a scoff. "And Holly, I am not in love with Lucas, okay! Just stop worrying about me."

"My God, Tam... you are- there is no use talking with you. I will deal with Lucas." Holly said with a tight frown and Tamara panicked.

"Please, no. You can't. He would think I asked you to talk with him. We both know it was a one-time thing. Don't- please don't complicate this."

"One-time thing, my ass." Holly hissed. "I- Tammie, you are not a one-night stand kind of girl. Especially with someone you have known and loved half your life." Holly sighed, as if she didn't know how to make Tamara understand, but Tamara did understand. She just thought that Holly was absolutely wrong. Of course, Luc was handsome, sexy as sin and his body was a temptation, but just because she was attracted to his body didn't mean she was starting the whole cycle, again. She wasn't. She wouldn't. She was not an idi*t, now was she? She was the chief editor of a prestigious magazine and she had reached that position in such a short period of time. No one would have handed the position to her if she had been an idi*t. She wasn't. She knew the rules as she decided to take him and jump towards hell.

"Please, Hols, let this go. It is done and it is over, now. You see me, I am perfectly fine."

"Yeah, you will be fine today. And then tomorrow will come and you will- I don't know how to save you from yourself."

"You don't have to Hols, just let me be. This is really nothing..." Tamara tried to convince her sister, but Holly didn't look convicned. She looked rather irritated, but then she had to go when Derek honked.

"I am going to drop Ray to Derek's parents today. They wanted the little munchkin for themselves. And then I am going to work. I will talk with you later. Don't think it is over yet."

Tamara sighed as she watched Holly walk away.

***

Tamara aimlessly wandered around as she thought about Lucas, the night and then June's letter. She stopped in front of a quaint shop, named The Bakery.

Tamara had totally forgotten the warm aroma of The Bakery. It always smelled like butter and honey melted over a roasting oven. The aroma was heavenly, as well as soothing, and when Tamara was young, she used to come here alone, to pull her mind together. usually to think and mull over something June did. This was where Tamara had come when June stole the lead role in the school play. Tamara could still remember that fight.

(Flashback)

"Tamara... you really want to audition for this pathetic rendition of Othello. This will be a disaster no one had ever see." June said as they walked towards Tamara's house. Tamara just shrugged.

"I love it. I think it will be fun. I can also help Ms. Nakamara pick the dresses and costumes for the play. I love it."

"You are always good at fashion, Tammie-Tam. Okay, if you want to audition, I will come to support you." June said as she waved at Tamara. "Ooh, I think Lucas is with Holly." June made a kiss face before she skipped towards her home. Tamara and June were sixteen and Lucas was already in college. Sometimes she missed him, missed seeing him around the home, but whenever he got out of college, he would always come and meet Holly.

Tamara skipped inside the house, feeling giddy. Even though he rejected her approach time and again, she just couldn't stop all these feelings rushing inside her. Like he was the sun and she, the pathetic sunflower. She ran towards the living room and stopped in front of him with a big smile and he smiled back at her and her heart almost jumped out of her throat.

"Lucas..." She said. She almost wanted to hug him, but she resisted the need.

"Tamara," he said in that mature, confident voice of his, and her blood turned warm. If she could just grab him and kiss him...

"How is San Francisco? How is college? I miss- I mean- we miss you. Holly misses you." Tamara said and he gave her a soft smile and shook her head.

"I miss her, too," he said, but he was not looking at Holly. He was looking at her. Tamara's heart thundered. He was still lean, but somehow his shirts weren't too loose. He was becoming man and she was still a silly little girl. What kind of sick fate was this?

"Lucas... do you- do you have a girlfriend?" She whispered and he sighed and shook his head.

"Nope. I don't have time for that."

"That is good. You should wait." She said as she stared at him. He stared back. Holly cleared her throat.

"Wait for what?" He asked with a confused look.

"Me." She said and he shook his head with a chuckle. "You still haven't changed, huh?"

"I won't. You change, Lucas." She said as she hugged him quickly and pulled away. He looked stunned as she gave him a wave and ran away, feeling the hotness in her cheek. She was so happy the whole day and the next morning, until...

June came to the audition. Not to support Tamara. But to read for the lead role. Tamara glared at June and June shrugged with a smile.

"I thought it would be amazing to do this with you."

"You could have read some other parts-"

"Oh, don't worry. I won't even try." June said with a comforting smile, and it was Tamara's fault that she had trusted June. She should have known... if there was a lead role, June would rather have it than be the side character.

June had this need to be the lead role, even in someone else's story. Even in Tamara's own story, June wanted to have the main character...

Tamara sighed. Thinking about June was always good and bad. There were happy moments, but there were bad ones, too, that sometimes overshadowed the light moments.

Tamara leaned against the chair and stared at the display counter full of cakes.

I need cakes, a lot of them...to drown the bitterness I always feel when I think about June.

___