Something Borrowed

Chapter 12. An E-mail From The Dead

Chapter 12. An E-mail from the dead

(Tamara)

Sh*t. This wasn't how she wanted this to go. Of course, she didn't regret her actions, but she didn't want to explain it to her sister. Not when this wasn't anything more than just a heat of the moment thing. At least for him. For her, this was a long time coming, but she wouldn't let it distract her. She was fine with no-strings-attached, one time tumble. But no, she wasn't ready to announce it to the whole world.

"Is that my damn sister?" She hissed as Lucas stared at her, blinking. He looked dazed, as if he was still not down from the high she had taken him. It gave her a strange thrill of pleasure, and she quickly curbed it. Lucas Turner had more ghosts that she could probably exorcise and she wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility. He was also sexy as hell and she was shallow as heck.

"Umm-"

"Lucas, hey Lucas, concentrate."

"How could anyone concentrate after that? Whoa." He sounded like a cat that had just had its hundredth tuna. She shook her head at him even as a smile slipped past her lips.

"I agree, but-"

"Tammie?" Holly knocked on the door.

"Sh*t. Is that Holly? My best friend? Your big sister?" He looked panicked as his eyes swiveled around as if he was looking for a way out of this bathroom. But there was only one door and it was through the room where Holly was currently standing.

She pressed a finger against Lucas' lips and he shuddered, his eyes darkening considerably and she liked it. She liked how she could make him lose control. Once, he had always been in control around her, while she teased, taunted, tested his patience. Once, she rarely affected him or so he made her believe. But now... it was changing and it made her feel wild, wanton, uncontrollable. Like she could tame the untamable Lucas Turner with just a touch, with just a look. And the power of it was addictive. Thrilling. Er0tic.

"Quiet," she mouthed to him as she turned towards the door. "Hey Hols, just give me a minute. I am- my stomach is not feeling well." She finished and Lucas smirked at her and she punched him in his shoulder.

"You always eat too much."

"I agree," Lucas mouthed and she pressed her palm over his mouth and hissed at him to shut up.

"Ugh- Holly, just shut up. You are distracting me."

"Yeah, you need to concentrate while taking a dump." Holly said in a sarcastic voice. "Take your time. Hey, and where is Lucas?"

"I don't know."

"Right here." Lucas whispered as he licked her palm and she shuddered as the touch sent tingles through her body. He grabbed her and pulled her closer to his still naked body and she sighed.

"Joel looks alright." Holly said.

"Yes. He calmed down after I gave him the towel wrap you always do for Ray when he is agitated."

"Good job. It always works."

"Oh, it works." Lucas said as he trailed a finger up her spine.

"What are you doing?" She whispered. "My sister is right there."

"Oh. Yes, yes, sorry. I forgot." He said with a bashful smile and Tamara rolled her eyes at him as she wriggled away from him. She grabbed her T-shirt and he looked at her with a pout. She pulled it down and damn, the thing was too crinkled. She tried to press her hands over it and then she grabbed her shorts and pulled it up, hurriedly. Lucas grabbed her panties and waved it at her.

"You don't want this."

"You can keep it." She tilted her head to the side and gave him a look. He looked like he was considering it. She smiled as she grabbed it away from him.

"What? You said I could keep it." He looked at her with a smile.

"No. I changed my mind. This is my favorite."

"Oh, it is my favorite, too." He said in a hoarse voice as she removed her shorts once again and hurriedly pulled the panties up before wearing the shorts again. All the while, he kept looking at her, his brown eyes turning darker and darker.

"Sh*t." She heard him swearing under his breath and she looked to see he was already hard again. She gave him a teasing smile.

"It is a one-time deal, Doc." She smirked and he grunted under his breath as his arousal twitched. She took a step closer and touched his hard on and he moaned. "Bye, doc. Oh, and don't come..." she gave him a seductive smile and he shook his head.

"You are such an imp." He cursed.

"I meant... don't come out until Holly's gone."

"Sure, that is what you meant." He said darkly as he pulled her closer and kissed her. "Bye, Tamara."

"It is a great redo of that first kiss, Lucas." She said as she adjusted everything she could... and walked outside.

"Ooh, is it that brutal?" Holly asked as soon as Tamara locked the door. Tamara blinked. "The diarrhea?" Holly looked at her with suspicion and Tamara cursed herself for forgetting her own lie. How could she? It was just a minute ago.

Lucas is so distracting. Oh, everything about the guy is distracting. His lean body, his hard muscles. His soft hair, and plump lips. And his biiiig thing. Oooo.... She almost moaned out loud as she thought about how he felt inside her, but bit the moan down at the last minute.

"Yes, yes. What are you doing here?" Tamara asked her sister and Holly shrugged.

"Mom told me about Joel and I just want to check him before I go home," Holly said as she placed a hand on Joel's chest. "Poor boy, he misses her."

"I- I don't know why, but I miss her, too. We haven't been friends for years and I still miss her. Why is that, Holly?"

"Because sometimes it is hard to stop loving someone once you have started loving them. No matter what happens," Holly said with a soft smile. Tamara shook her head. That wasn't true, was it? She had once loved Lucas, too, but she didn't love him now. It was only physical and there was nothing there. She wanted nothing more with him.

No, it is just preposterous. I don't believe it.

"I don't love her, Hols. I hated her. I resented her."

"And you can hate and love the person at the same time. It is a mystery, but you can." Holly shrugged as she looked at the clock. "I think I should go. It is late and Derek is still in the car and Ray is already sleeping."

"Yes, don't worry, I will take care of Joel."

"Take care of Lucas, too, Tam."

Tamara blinked and looked startled as she looked up at Holly. Holly sighed and shook her head with a smile. "Just- I worry about him. He is my best friend and I want him happy."

"I know. He is Lucas Turner... don't worry about him. He will be alright."

"Oh, I worry about him. He looks so strong and brave, but he was- June had left her marks on him, Tam. She was so vicious and her poison... it was too much even for my strong, stubborn friend." Holly did look very concerned. Tamara wondered whether Lucas was listening to them on the other side of the door, or if he was doing something else.

"June always leaves marks." Tamara shrugged. "She is like a storm. We will always remember the destruction." Tamara sighed as she thought about her ex-bestie. But she wasn't always only the storm. Sometimes, June was sunshine, too, and she filled life with light. It was such a contradiction. June was full of them... She was evil. But she wasn't evil enough.

"Bye Tammie. Tell Lucas I stopped by."

"Oh, sure." He already knows. "Bye, Hols. Give Ray a kiss from me."

***

Lucas came out after a few minutes when they finally heard Holly driving away with Derek in his car. He gave her a nervous smile and suddenly it was almost awkward. But Tamara didn't want to make it awkward. She would like to be Lucas' friend, too. She would like to help him with Joel whenever she could and to see him whenever possible.

"Don't look too guilty." She smiled at him. "You regret it already?"

"No, I don't regret it. Nobody could regret something like that, Tamara. But I just- did I take advantage of you when you are grieving for your friend?"

"Oh, come on." Tamara waved him off. "June and I hadn't been friends for years. And no, you didn't take advantage of me. If anything, I took advantage of you. But let's just- not blame ourselves." She said with a smile as she looked at Joel. He was snoring softly and it made her smile.

"Do you want me to walk you back to your house?" Lucas asked after a minute of silence. Tamara looked at him with a smile.

"If it is not too much to ask, can I stay with Joel just for tonight? I just want to check up on him from time to time." She said as she wondered whether he might take it the wrong way. She bit her lips as she looked at him and he gave her a smile.

"Why do you look so guilty asking that?" He smiled at her and she relaxed in the bed. "Of course, you can stay." He said as he grabbed a pillow and turned around.

"Where are you going?" She asked and he just shrugged. "I will sleep in the couch."

"It is okay if you want to sleep here?"

"Do you want to get caught by my mom? She would tie you down right here and would only let you go after you had agreed to marry me," he grinned, his eyes mischievous.

"Ooh, don't want that now, do we?" She said, but somewhere deep inside, a voice... a voice she didn't really want to listen to said, would it be too bad?

Yes. Yes. It would be. He didn't want any more mess. She had her hands full with Marianne and her job. He was not ready for a relationship. She was not ready for a relationship with a man who had a son. It just wouldn't work out.

Shut up, and go to sleep. You are here for a week and then you will be long gone.

***

Tamara woke up, rubbing her eyes when she heard Joel babbling something. She looked at the clock and noticed it was five.

"You hungry, little munchkin?" She mumbled as she rubbed his head. She stood up and padded out softly, not to make any noise. She made it to the kitchen and Lucas's mom had already placed everything to make milk for Joel right on the kitchen island. Tamara grabbed the pan, poured hot water and then baby milk powder and made milk. She let it cool for a minute before pouring it inside the glass bottle. When she crossed the living room, she saw Lucas sleeping on the couch. He looked so uncomfortable. He was too big for the small couch. His blanket had slid down from his body. She grabbed it and put it over him before she walked into the room. Joel was starting to cry a little. She hurriedly picked him up and fed him. When he was done, she put him down and patted him until he fell asleep.

She lied down in the bed, staring at the ceiling. The sleep was long gone. She was so awake.

"What am I doing here?" She whispered to herself. "Can I really keep being rational after the night with Lucas? I don't want to be get caught in the middle of whatever this is... I am not ready."

She sighed. Her mind was filled with thoughts and she was sure sleep wasn't going to knock her out anytime soon. She grabbed her phone from the side desk and opened it. She read her messages. There were more than a few from Alisha, asking how she was, what she was doing, and two from Sebastian saying that he missed her and she should come back soon.

She replied to Alisha and Sebastian before she opened her mail box. There were a few emails from Marianne, asking when she would be back. One of them was written in all Caps telling her to get back as soon as she could. Tamara winced. She had already told Marianne that she would be coming after ten days, only. She finished her column, as well, and edited it, submitted it and got approval and the woman was still pestering her. It wasn't like Tamara was her secretary. She had Anita for that.

Tamara's eyes widened when she saw an email from the familiar email address. She grabbed her phone tighter as her fingers quivered. What the heck!

How could this be?

Tamara blinked and read the time again. It sent chills through her spine. She opened the email and read through it.

From: JuneM@gnet.com

To: Tammytalks@zealous.com

Dearest Tamara,

How do I look in that soft peach dress you liked very much? Did you notice that it was the same dress I wore to my prom? Do you remember that we went to buy dresses together? You chose a soft green dress and I didn't find anything I liked. I was complaining to you and then you pulled out this peach dress that another girl had been eyeing for a while. She glared at you and you glared back. You turned away from her and handed it to me and said... this. And I fell in love. With that dress. I made my mom promise that if I ever did die, I would want to be buried in that dress.

Thanks for coming to my funeral, Tamara. It means the world to me, even though I can't say it to you. I will feel you, right there. I will miss you... And I forgive you for not coming when I asked you for help. But... I didn't kill myself. No. I wouldn't. I love Joel too much to do that to him.

You know that I wouldn't kill myself, don't you? Find who did this to me, Tamara? Find them and punish them, but more than that, keep my baby safe from this person.

Thank you, Tamara, for your friendship when I had nothing. I am sorry to have hurt you. I know it is too late for that sorry, but I just want you to know that I am sorry.

Love,

June.

How could that be possible? Even if June had scheduled the e-mail... how could it be possible that it was sent at the exact time when June's funeral was going on? How would she know when her funeral would happen?

___