Claimed by the Dark Souls of VHA

Chapter Sixteen

CHRISTIAN

I allow the burn of the vodka going down my throat to try and take away the vivid images of finding Ava on the ground, unmoving, barely breathing, turning blue, every time I close my damn eyes. I then pull on the joint, having a double bliss of liquor and w**d going on, but even that doesn't help either. I fist my skull like the moron that I am to no avail. This hits home in way too many ways. I can't bring myself to forgive her wanting to leave this world, leave me. Another woman did that to me long ago, and I was left abandoned and alone. I am not going through that pain again.

I f!cking bowed out.

I told her to count me out.

What the actual f!ck was going through my head? A f!cking lot of trauma coming back to me.

I almost lost Ava, but my choice of action was to fully push her away, further into the arms of my two brothers. Maybe she'll be better off with them. They aren't as unhinged as I am. I may play the part of being the good guy, all calm and put together, but I am none of those things. Not in the slightest. The shadows of my past haunt me every day, just like they haunt Ava.

The fear of having almost lost Ava tonight immediately brought me back to when I had lost my mother. She too just lied there on the floor, no longer existing, leaving me behind to watch over her dead body. I was merely a kid left to oversee a corpse being brought out in a black zip up body bag, and a father who couldn't give two sh!ts. He had dragged me back to his place with a single pat on the back, a shove into the spare room, and a "buck up boy".

I was shattered, traumatized, fully alone at that point and all he could say was "buck up boy"? My mom was gone. The damn piece of sh!t couldn't care less. I remained in that spare room of his what felt like years, when there was knocking that turned into banging. I remember the loud shouting coming from the living room, so I ventured out there to see what was actually going on. I peaked and saw a woman holding a bat and aiming it straight at my dad. The fight in her gaze was overwhelming.

What was she fighting for? I had asked myself until she caught me peaking from the corner. Her face softened the moment her eyes landed on me and she summoned me over with a wave of her hand.

"Come here child." She said in such a soft, sweet tone. I did as I was told and put my hand in hers but she placed me behind her back and shifted her attention back to the person that was struggling to remain composed.

"This didn't have to go this way Victor. All you needed to do was ask for my help instead of me finding out that my grandson is motherless from a damn news paper clipping. He deserves more than this dangerous world you have him living in. You've done wrong by Ryder and now Christian? Don't let me find out there is another child out there begging to be freed or there will be hell to pay, understand?" She said in such a tone that made me shiver with fear. My father didn't say or do anything but watch us walk out the door forever.

My grandmother was my saving grace. She pried me from the hands of evil and rescued me. That day, I met Ryder, and when we saw each other, it was a mutual understanding that was known between us that we both suffered from that asshole being our father. We made a pact that night to always stick together, no matter what. That pact soon included Alex, when we both followed our grandmother into war with bats of our own, protecting her from the madman behind the door we were heading towards.

We needed to save another child, a child that was left to be raised by a psychopath, but he was a little worse than we were. We all have so many demons within us that when combined become an army of darkness for those that can't fight their own battles, or for when we need all our strength to fend for ourselves.

I need this night to never have existed in the first place.

Bottoms up.

*****************************************************

The days drag on, with me no closer to taking back the words I had said to Ava that night. It has so far been a month since everything happened. A month since sh!t hit the fan, bridging a gap between her and I, and myself with my brothers. I can feel the distance between us all but I have no one to blame but myself.

I continue to watch as Ava tries to act like that night had never happened. She slowly is adjusting to daily life but I can see she is hanging on by a thread. If you look at her, she shows no signs of hurt or pain, but when you truly examine her, she is just as lost as us. The family she never knew about is right here under her nose, and she is slowly beginning to process the reality of it all.

Emma and her have been together more and more ever since she found out that she was more than just a friend, but an actual sister. That sh!t must have been hard to swallow but day by day, they seem to be closer and closer. Baby steps is all it takes. Ms. Townsend has even become a bit brighter lately, knowing her daughters are becoming closer and the fact that her first born is back where she belongs. I am not sure to what extent she knows about her past, and I know I would know everything if I hadn't pulled away. Yet again, only myself to blame.

Ava has been living in our room due to the threat that our f!ckface of a father made about coming for his angel, so no matter where she goes, one of us is not too far behind, which includes me. Although no attempts have been made since the threat came through, my eyes always follow her wherever she goes. My pull to her will never cease to exist. I miss her. I want her back so bad that it is killing me inside, but I am the one who f!cked that all up. I should have stayed. I should have been stronger.

Ava doesn't or hasn't given up on me. She tries to speak to me but I don't usher a single word to her. I can feel the hurt from her and it further breaks me, knowing I should just drop to my knees and beg for her forgiveness. I make my way in and out of the house without confrontation and without looking into those beautiful eyes of hers that will pull me under. I will willingly get lost in them and drown in her dark abyss without a struggle.

What the f!ck is wrong with me?

I should go right now and claim what is mine again.

But I won't.

Vodka has become my best friend since that day. Ryder and Alex have been giving me stern warnings that all lead me to just flip them off. They won. They got the girl. They're busy wrapping their f!cking limbs around her day in and day out, but me? Nothing, because I chose to take myself out of the fold.

Days drag on and on and all I want is to crawl into bed with her. I want to smell her scent again. I want to be buried so deep inside her and have her clenching around me, screaming my name, that the thought of it all is too much to bare. I f!cking want it all back.

"Arghh!" I roar tossing the empty bottle of vodka at the wall in the back of the cafeteria, because this is where I come to drink every night, watching it shatter into pieces. I come here to escape my room because she is there. Nobody is ever down here this late, and I like the quiet. A small shriek behind me brings me out of my trance. I turn to see Marissa standing in nothing but satin pj's, slightly worried but it soon vanishes in place of something else.

"You've been drinking an awful lot lately Christian." Marissa, just another friend of Candice's says as I roll my eyes at her.

"Your point being?" I say lazily, practically sh!tfaced. She sits across from me, leaning her elbows on her knees, her hands making their way up my thighs while she is showing off the cleavage she has going on. I stare at her breasts popping out of her pj top and I feel myself slipping. Human contact is what I need right now. I need to forget. I need to wipe everything from my mind because the f!cking vodka has yet to do any of that for me.

I lick my lips at the sight and her eyes catch mine with l**t swirling inside of them. The drunk me is ready and willing while the sober me is screaming at me not to.

You bowed out because you love her and she almost left you!

Don't do this!

She'll never forgive you!

I swipe those thoughts from my mind and allow Marissa to make her way to the waistband of my sweatpants. She falls to the floor on her knees and I place my hand on her head, roaming down to her cheek, and then swipe my thumb across her bottom lip.

"You want this, baby?" She says in a sultry tone, l*****g her lips while she pulls my pants down along with my boxers, releasing my aching d!ck.

"Enough talking. Either suck me or go." I grit out. She grabs my length and pumps it in her hand. She licks the tip and my head falls back. She continues pumping, l*****g my length, until I fist her hair and grunt.

"Put it in your mouth already." I say in a harsh tone and she jumps slightly. She does as I say and I groan. My head falls back and she is taking all of me in her mouth, all the way down hitting the back of her throat and I grip her head and shove her further till she begins to choke. I watch as her eyes begin to tear. I let up momentarily and watch as she bobs her head up and down until I usher her movements to make her go faster.

"F!ck Marissa. Faster!" I snarl.

I feel the heat rise and I come down her throat. While coming down from my high, I begin to feel that there is another presence in the room. The hairs on the back of my neck stand and I shove Marissa's mouth off of me, which she gasps at. I stand and pull my boxers and pants back up and turn to see Ava standing there, wide eyed, and very much angry, more hurt than anything.

F!ck.

"Ava." I say and she shakes her head, turning around to leave. Marissa grabs my arm but I snatch it away from her.

"You're just going to leave me here hanging?!" Marissa yells.

"F!ck off." I yell right back as I take off for Ava. I run after her, my drunken haze slipping finding myself sobering instantly.

"Ava, wait!" I catch up to her, grabbing her wrist, making her turn around noticing she is wearing the shirt I gave her that night my dad found her.

She kept it.

"Don't touch me!" I instantly let go and the fire in her eyes burns a hole through me, straight to my soul.

"It isn't what you think." I say and she scoffs.

"Seriously? Then what is it? Marissa happened to slip and her mouth fell onto your d!ck?" She fake laughs and I can see the formation of tears behind her fury gaze.

"You're not the only one that needs physical contact. You have Alex and Ryder! What the f!ck do I have?!" I yell at her. Her eyes widen but I won't stand down.

"You have, had, me Christian! I've been there waiting, trying, but you won't even look at me. You told me to wake up and accept the fact that you three care deeply about me, might even love me, but you clearly don't since you have that skank to please you." She juts her hand in the direction of the cafeteria.

"If you would have even spoken to me or to the others, you would have known that if you weren't part of this scenario between all of us, then I wasn't going to be in it fully. I haven't touched them Christian. They haven't touched me. We talk. They comfort me when I need them but not sexually." Her words make me falter and I begin to shake my head not wanting to believe them.

"No, no, no. I see them! I saw Alex coming out this morning. I saw Ryder the other night! No! You're lying!" I seethe.

"Think what you want Christian." She shrugs like she is simply defeated.

"Go back and get your rocks off with Marissa again. You've already backed out. I can't force you to feel things that you obviously don't want to feel anymore. You're done, so I'm done." She removes the shirt from her body, her upper body covered by her lace b*a displayed for anyone to see making me see red.

"Put the f!cking shirt back on now Ava!" I roar but the shirt just comes flying at my face.

"F!ck off Christian." She darts back to our room and barges through the door like a maniac, slamming the front door in my face, then flying into her room slamming that door equally as hard, maybe even more so, making the whole place shake.

"What the ever loving f!ck is going on out here?!" Ryder says rubbing his eyes trying to have his vision snap in place. He looks to me then to her door and throws his head back.

"What the f!ck did you do Christian?" He narrows his gaze at me before walking towards her door and knocking.

"Ava, it's me, open up." He says calmly. He runs his fingers through his hair, seemingly exasperated, and begins to knock again.

"Ava, it's just me. Open the damn door." He says a little more harshly and I plop onto the couch, clutching the shirt that was thrown in my face. Ryder looks at me again, now noticing the shirt.

"Wasn't she wearing that tonight?" His eyes widen and begins to bang on the door until it opens up, surprising him. She shoulders past him, throwing her duffel bag over her shoulder, marching towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa. Hold up. Where the hell do you think you're going?" Ryder says accusingly and she scoffs turning to him.

"I am not going to sit in this room, with him, and watch as he gets sucked off by every skank in this damn school as a punishment for what I did last month. I had a moment of weakness!" Ryder begins to speak but she glares daggers at him.

"You told me you all had each other back then. I had no one. I get you all were mad at me for wanting to end things my way, but that doesn't make it okay for someone who says that they feel deeply for me to f!ck others to get over sh!t. I tried Ryder. You have seen how much I have tried to talk to him, but no. He decides to get his sh!t sucked in the cafeteria by Marissa and god knows who else! I even told him that we haven't even touched each other. He doesn't believe me. No surprise there I guess." She yells out and Ryder glances to me, looking downright furious.

"Is that true? You were getting blown by Marissa tonight?! Are you f!cking kidding me?!" He seethes and I drop my head down not wanting to look at either one of them.

"I'm not doing this anymore. I'm sorry. You three need to think about how you actually feel about me. I can't be causing a rift between you guys. You guys need each other more than you need me." She storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Ryder comes barreling towards me. He fists my shirt and brings me mere inches away from his face.

"This whole time. This whole f!cking time you have been getting you rocks off by other's when you literally screamed at Ava that you loved her and removed yourself from the equation until she came to terms with how we all feel?!" He jerks me back and I can't form any words or excuse. I can't blame the vodka because my inner self knew exactly what I was doing.

I royally f!cked up this time.

Ryder smashes everything in sight, releasing his anger any way possible. Once he is done, he turns back to me.

"Clean this sh!t up. And I mean everything, brother. You think you were the only one to suffer from what she pulled? Alex and I were shattered but we stayed. We took responsibility and we dd everything possible to keep her ours. She's right you know? That night she explicitly told us that if it wasn't the three of us, then it wasn't right. That's why she kept trying but you kept evading. We haven't touched her, at all. We might have consoled her but that was it. You're a f!cking moron. If she leaves, if she doesn't come back to us, I will never forgive you." He says with such distain and I know he's serious.

He goes back into his room without another word. I rub my face with both my hands and sit there thinking what the f!ck I should do. I immediately stand and exit the room, finding my way to Emma's room, since her room is long gone. I can see the door is slightly ajar making panic course through me.

"Emma? Ava? You here?" I open the door further and hit the light switch. The room is a disaster zone, everything tossed around. I find droplets of blood and drop to my knees.

I can't break now.

I quickly stand up and roam the mess to see if any clues were left behind. Both phones are smashed on the floor. Her duffel is right by the door. I almost give up until I catch sight of a piece of paper on the floor.

Hello my angel. My boys thought that they could hide you, keep you safe, but they failed to realize the meaning of never taking their eyes off you, or your loved ones. If you ever want to see your sweet, innocent sister alive again, you will come to me. If not, I'll send her back to you in pieces. Come to me my angel, back to where it all began. - V

I crumble the piece of paper and let out a roar. I swipe my phone from my pocket, dialing the one who I know will unleash the beast within.

"F!ck man its two in the morning. What the f!ck." Alex groans sleepily through the phone.

"Dad..." I can hear the phone being shifted around.

"What the f!ck happened?!" Alex yells through the phone while fumbling around.

"He took Emma and now Ava is going after them." I reply, still in the room looking around the mess.

"Why the f!ck isn't she with you and Ryder? Why the f!ck wasn't anyone watching Emma? And where the f!ck is Ryder?!" I can hear things slamming around until the calls goes dead. I exit the room and make my way back up to mine to grab my sh!t.

Upon entering, I see the blackened eyes of Ryder, shoving his g*n into the waistband of his pants and pocketing his knife. He doesn't say a word to me. I run to my room to grab my g*n along with my baseball bat, the same one I had used all those years ago to get Alex out of my father's clutches.

Alex storms in like a raging animal, looking at the both of us.

"When this is finished, we're all going to have a long f!cking discussion. Let's go!" He says and we follow him out to his Jeep.

"Where the f!ck would he bring them?" Alex grits out and I shove the note into his hand that our father left.

"Where it all began? What the f!ck does he mean by that?" He says before starting the car. Ryder takes shotgun and Alex passed the note to him, and I can see him thinking.

"Her old home. Where the f!ck did she live again before coming here? Does anybody even know?" He fists the dashboard in anger and my head falls back onto the headrest behind me while Alex's grip on the steering wheel tightens. The only person to know where she lived was...

"Her aunt. She knows!" Alex hits the gas and tosses Ryder his cell.

"Open the app labelled Maps." He grits out and Ryder does as he says.

"Look up her name and the address will appear. Hurry up!" Ryder's fingers type fast and the address appears almost instantly.

"We could have just tracked her phone too." Ryder says remembering the tracker we had installed.

"Her phone was smashed to smithereens in Emma's room, along with Emma's." I say.

"F!ck!" Alex says slamming the wheel with his fists.

"We go to her aunts house, get the address, formulate a plan, got it?" He declares and we agree.

Our father just started a f!cking war that he will surely lose tonight.

This. Sh!t. Ends. Tonight.