Love Me, Not My Body

CHAPTER 13

We sat out on the patio beneath the Florida sunshine and ate our burgers with some fruit he had grabbed from the fridge. We talked about much lighter topics of favorite movies, sports, and foods.

“Favorite song?” he asked as he took a large bite of his burger.

“Easy,” I replied as I lounged in the patio chair with my feet up on the ottoman. “Everything I Do, I Do It For You by Bryan Adams.”

He looked at me in shock. “Really?’

“Yep,” I assured him with a confident nod. “Nothing will ever beat it. I used to listen to that song over and over again in my room and write every single lyric out. I was obsessed with it.”

He chuckled as he took a drink of his soda. “Care to explain why?”

I shrugged. “It was the first glimpse for me that love like that could exist. That a man could love a woman so immensely and…” I trailed off as I froze, the Florida sunshine suddenly unable to touch the freezing chill inside me. I slowly shook my head, realizing I was on the brink of revealing too much. How had I grown so familiar with him that I would slip up like this?

His eyes narrowed slightly and he wet his lips as he shifted on his chair. “What about your favorite color? That should be easy, right?”

“Why is that?” I asked, trying to regain my strength.

“Green,” he said as he pointed at his eyes. “Like my eyes. I’ve seen you looking.”

He winked as I laughed and felt myself beginning to thaw. Somehow, he was extremely good at sensing when I was nervous or upset and finding a way to help me relax.

After eating our food, we carried our plates back into the kitchen. After loading them into the dishwasher and cleaning up, Preston turned toward me as I leaned against the counter. His eyes wandered up and down my body, obviously looking for dessert.

I slowly sauntered over to him as I grabbed my shirt and pulled it above my head. I tossed my shirt onto the floor as I was almost to him as I undid my belt and shorts and dropped them to the floor. I kicked them to the side as I stood in front of him in nothing but my sexy lingerie.

Preston drew in a breath as his eyes soaked up every single inch of me. He took a step toward me, closing the space between us. He very slowly raised his hand, making sure I saw it, before gently cupping my face and crashing his lips to mine. I returned the kiss as my fingers went to the buttons on his shirt and undid each one. I pulled the shirt open, my fingers sprawling over his hard chest. His hands slid to my back, unclasping my bra. He cupped my breasts as I let out a moan. His tongue explored my mouth, urgent and primal, as his fingers trailed down to my panties. They slipped beneath the fabric and found my sensitive spot. His fingers entered me and my knees went weak.

Preston quickly caught me in his arms. He bent down, scooping me into his strong, tattooed arms and carried me up to his bedroom. He laid me down gently as though I was a precious porcelain doll. I watched him undress and grab a condom as I pulled my panties off.

My heart pounded in anticipation as he crawled onto the bed atop me. His mouth found mine again, but instead of entering me, his fingers again found their way between my legs. His long fingers on my sensitive area sent me into a frenzy. His lips moved to my neck and down to my breasts. As he took my n****e into his mouth and his fingers entered me, I found my release as I cried out his name.

He grinned, a dimple piercing his cheek as he ran his hand through his hair and gazed down upon me sprawled in his bed in blissful satisfaction. His lips crushed onto mine again at the same time he entered me with his extremely large manhood. My breath caught as I wrapped my arms around him.

He began a slow pace, as though he was taking his time and savoring every single moment. I clung to him, kissing his lips and neck as I whispered to him in explicit detail exactly how good he felt deep within me.

My words seemed to encourage and excite him as his tempo began to pick up and he talked dirty back to me. His pace grew faster and faster, his thrusts harder and harder. I lost my words, unable to speak as he pounded deep within me. I cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure as he cried out my name, finding his release, before collapsing on the bed beside me.

We laid side by side, sweaty and gasping for breath. After several minutes, my heart began to sink as I knew this was the end. My job was done and I would be expected to leave. I went to sit up, but he gently grabbed my hand.

“Stay here Kendra,” he whispered in a husky voice. “Just for a while.”

I looked uncertainly at him for a second before slowly laying down on his outstretched arm. He grabbed the blanket, pulling it over us as I cuddled against his firm chest. His heartbeat sounded in my ear as my body molded against his. Our body heat mixed as we seemed to fit together perfectly. I felt like I was feeling a glimpse of Heaven. I wanted to pretend it was real. I wanted to pretend he truly was mine because, somehow, I had found what felt like paradise wrapped in the arms of a man who was paying me for s*x.

---

Preston parked in front of my apartment and came around to open my door. He took my hand, helping me out of the sports car. He tossed the door shut as I stood against his car looking at him and wishfully thinking this day wouldn’t have to end.

“Thank you, Kendra,” he said softly as he turned toward me. “I had an amazing day.”

I smiled warmly at him as I nodded my head. “Me too.”

His green eyes held a touch of sadness as he took a long look at me. His eyes wandered toward my apartment and his face began to harden and his smile faded. He took a step back and gave me a wave. “Goodbye, Kendra.”

“Bye,” I whispered back as I stood from the sports car and walked slowly to my apartment. I heard his sports car back up and I turned to watch it leave. It felt like he took a piece of me with him when he left.

I drew in a long breath. This was ridiculous. He had paid me for s*x. The money he gave me in my purse was proof of that. I wasn’t his girlfriend. I wasn’t a girl he was even interested in. I was a prostitute he paid to be with him, and now it was over.

I walked into the apartment and was surprised to find it empty. Scott must be working late. A guilt rumbled deep within me at the reminder of my boyfriend, the man I should be thinking about, not Preston.

I hurried to my bedroom and pulled a shoebox out. I took the thousand dollars Preston had paid me and stowed it inside the shoe box. I shoved the box toward the back of the closest. That would be our safety net in case Scott blew our money on drugs again. I loved him, there was absolutely no question about that. But I hated his drug use. I hated who he was on drugs. I hated he warped into what I had run away from, what was chasing me.

I took a long, hot shower and slipped into my pajamas. I laid in bed reading a book on my phone, but my mind kept wandering to Preston. I rolled my eyes, reprimanding myself for being so caught up in a man I could never had.

I reminded myself, once again, that he wasn’t interested in me. He had hired me to do a job, that was it. But he never once had treated me as though I was a hired prostitute. He had treated me with kindness and respect. He had held doors for me and treated me with a gentleness. Except in the bedroom. There, he became a beast.

I giggled lightly as the memories of our romp in his bed warmed my cheeks and my body. I turned my phone off and rolled over in bed to try to get some sleep.

I woke up a short time later as Scott climbed into bed. I didn’t look at the clock. I didn’t care. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

“I missed you baby,” he whispered in my ear. “I love you.”

I closed my eyes as I pretended to sleep while I drowned in a sea of guilt.

Scott was in an exceptionally good mood the next morning and it was contagious. He kissed me as he danced with me in our small kitchen. I was dying to tell him how much money I had made. I wanted to break open a bottle of champagne and celebrate with him. But I only wanted to share it with this Scott. I didn’t want drug addicted Scott to know about the money I had made, or where it was hidden.

Scott drove me to work my lunch shift at Kiki’s. I nearly skipped into the restaurant in my joy. I was finally hitting a good streak in my life. I had an amazing client, who maybe saw me as more. It was possible, right? He did want to spend an entire day with me. He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t truly like me. He would have just had the quick roll in the sack and went on his way like the other men did.

And Scott was currently sober. I hoped with all my might it would stay that way. We couldn’t do down the dark path of his drug abuse again. Perhaps I should use the money Preston had given me to pay for rehab for Scott? If he needed it, that is.

I busied myself around the restaurant, taking care of each of my tables with a smile and positive attitude. My tips were good, and I was riding a high of two amazing days in a row when I went to greet my newly seated table.

“Hi!” I smiled as I walked up to it. “Welcome to Kiki’s. My name is Kendra and I’ll be your waitress today.” I looked up from the pad of paper in my hand and all my blood drained down to my toes.

Preston sat at the table with Aaron and two other men. A tan fedora sat atop his glorious, brown wavy hair that I had run my fingers through last night. A white undershirt peeked out below his black, V-neck shirt. A dark blue, button up shirt sat open atop it. A cross necklace hung around his neck and his fingers were adorned by his usual rings.

I stared at the man I had dreamt of. I stared at the green eyes that just yesterday had drunk me in. I watched in heartbreaking agony as they now turned to the beautiful blonde next to him and smiled his gorgeous, face consuming smile. His dimples pierced his cheeks for her as she laughed about something.

My ears rung loudly, blocking out the sound of their laughter and the hustle and bustle of the restaurant. I had stupidly painted a happy ending for Preston and me. I had allowed myself to be diluted with the thought he saw me as something more than just a prostitute. I had fooled myself into thinking I was something more than just a s*x toy to him.

I was wrong. Horribly and gut-wrenchingly wrong.

I blinked rapidly as I stared at the sight in front of me. I forced back my tears and held down the lump in my throat as I forced a smile on my face and took their order. The blonde beside Preston slid her hand onto his thigh as she leaned over to whisper something in his ear. I bit my cheek as I sucked a breath in through my nose. He smirked, rearranging the hat atop his head as he and whispered something back to her. Her cheeks turned red and I could only imagine what dirty remark he had told her. Was it the same words he had told me in bed last night?

I took their order back to the kitchen as I mentally berated myself. This was stupid. Would I be upset to see any of my other clients out with their girlfriends? Of course not! I was well-aware some of them had wives waiting at home for them. I had never judged them. I had never acknowledged them if I saw them out in public. So why was Preston so different?

Because I thought he was different.

I grabbed glasses and filled them with their ordered drinks. I placed them onto the tray and carefully lifted it. I walked back to Preston’s table. I began setting the drinks in front of each person. Aaron looked uneasily between me and Preston as I set his drink in front of him.

I picked up Preston’s cup and turned toward him. His green eyes were surprisingly on me. I froze beneath their intense gaze as my breath caught. Pain and anger and lust rushed over me in a tidal wave. His blonde girlfriend slid her hand greedily over his cheek and turned his face to her. She locked her lips onto his. I set Preston’s drink on the table and, in a split second of jealousy, I deliberately knocked his drink over and toward his lap.

He quickly shoved backwards in his chair. “s**t! That’s cold!” he cried out in his British accent.

His blonde girlfriend’s jaw dropped as she leapt from her seat. “What the hell?” she screamed at me.

“I’m so sorry,” I quickly apologized as I caught Preston staring at me. Instead of being angry as I expected, he smirked at me with an amused look playing across his face.

I spun around on my heel, rushing away from the table as I heard Aaron and the other man at the table laughing. I alerted one of the busboys of the accidental spill and asked Jessica to take over the table. She was busy herself and didn’t want to add onto her workload until she saw Preston. Then she gleefully took over for me.

I avoided the table, and Preston, like it was the plague. I grappled internally with why he would pull this stupid stunt. As they left, my anger turned to sadness, and a new realization dawned upon me. What if he had done it to make sure I knew exactly what I meant to him?

Absolutely nothing.

---

Thoughts of Preston haunted me well into the evening while I sat with Scott on the futon in our apartment. He was scrolling social media on his phone while I idly watched the evening news. My phone binged, indicating a message and I casually picked it up. My heart skipped when I saw Preston’s name and I quickly glanced at Scott. He was still engrossed in his phone and so I tapped on the message.

My pants still haven’t dried.

I smiled though I didn’t want to as I held in my laughter. I quickly closed the message and set my phone aside. I wasn’t going to respond to him. I wanted nothing further to do with him. I had gotten my payday from him, and now I needed to protect my heart and cut ties. He was only a client. Nothing more, nothing less.

---

The week inched onward and I heard nothing more from Preston. Hopefully he had gotten the message that I wanted no further contact with him. At least my logical thinking brain didn’t. My heart ached to have more of his attention and my eyes longed to drink in the sight of him again. I hated how I felt, and I hated the guilt that flooded me every time I was around Scott.

I worked the weekend at Blue Hades, and hated every single second of it. Every client I was with was another reminder of just who I was and what my job was. I was treated like a prostitute, because I was a prostitute. Even Preston had ended up treating me exactly how I deserved. He had been so respectful and kind to me, but had made an obvious display of exactly what I meant to him when he took a respectable, beautiful woman on a date while he had his fun in the bedroom with me and tossed me aside like yesterday’s trash.

An invitation came from Tricia for an engagement party. I wanted nothing to do with celebrating love and happily ever afters, but I couldn’t blow my friend off. I took off the following Saturday and got dressed up in a sparkly, little rainbow dress. It had spaghetti straps and a swooping neckline. The dress ended halfway up my thigh and I paired it with some sky-high silver heels. I took time with my hair and make-up and, when I walked out of the bedroom, Scott’s eyes widened.

“You look amazing,” he whispered out in a stunned voice as he walked over to me. “How did I ever get so damn lucky?”

I smiled at his words and gave him a quick kiss. He looked stunning himself in his black suit and blue tie. “Are you ready?”

He took my hand into his, giving it a kiss on top before leading me out the door.