V. it's so hard to be with you

2759 Words
Olivia   Riiiiiinnnngggg. “Nooo.” I groaned, twisting around and lying on my stomach. I did not want to open my eyes, not yet. The alarm was still being annoying. I hated the sound that woke me up every morning. It was the most frustrating first thing in the morning. You’re insane. You need to go to school. I ignored that voice in my head and smashed my hand down on my alarm clock as I forced my eyes closed. I tried to stay like that, ignoring the fact that it was already Monday but the sunlight that crept through my curtains was so blinding. It was against my will to open my eyes. I still did anyway but I stayed in bed for a moment, waiting for my senses to be fully awake. “Damn it,” I murmured, staring at my white wooden nightstand with the book that I had read last night laying open on it. It’s the first day of classes. I freaking know that. I was not sure if I was nervous or excited. Maybe, because I was not interested and hated the fact that I might have to be alone there at school. I felt shrugging, hating the thought of it. There’s Starr. I’m sure she has her own circle of friends and it’ll be weird to be tailing behind twelve and thirteen-year-old girls. “Ugh.” Just thinking about it made me pity myself. It would be too difficult for me to have friends because I was not the person to initiate a conversation. I would only talk if someone would talk to me first. I was too shy to be talking with complete strangers. All of a sudden, someone in particular just popped into my sleepy mind. Storm. “Olivia sweetie, get ready now. It’s the first day of classes!” My Mom suddenly shouted outside my room after two knocks on my door, not letting me think about the guy. “I’m up!” I shouted, still not getting up, though. I did not want to. “Great. Storm and Starr will be picking you up!” I did not shout back at her after what she just said. I just waited for her to walk away from the door before finally forcing myself up and out of my bed. I had to make my bed first before heading to the shower. I did my morning routine by first having a quick warm shower. After that, I dressed up into my usual outfit for school. I liked to go for casual but aesthetic clothes. By that, I meant jeans and sweaters. For today, I settled on a pair of denim blue skinny jeans and a loose old rose sweater. I wore my favorite Converse and metal-framed eyeglasses before leaving my closet and picking up my plain black Jansport backpack on my study table. It did not have much inside, just a binder, pens, my phone, and my lip balm. When I reached downstairs and to the kitchen, Mom had already set up the table for the two of us. Well, some might be wondering why it was only the two of us. It was because my Dad could not leave his work there in Australia until Monday next week. It was the reason Mom thought I could just go with the Butler children on the way to school. If Dad was here, he would be happy to drive me to school. How I badly wanted to have my own car. “What’s with this much food for breakfast?” I asked my Mom as I sat down to eat. There were eggs cooked in different styles, poached, scrambled, and sunny-side up. She knew exactly how much I loved them. There were also sausages, corned beef, and egg fried rice. But what really caught my attention was the tall pile of pancakes in the middle, with whipped cream and different kinds of berries on top. My eyes squinted at it. It was just that they reminded me of someone. “I thought you need a lot of energy since it’s the first day of your last year of senior high school. Awe, my baby is a grown-up now.” “Mom…” I laughed, trying to dodge my Mom who wanted to shower my face with her kisses. I was afraid she would not stop. I let her kiss my forehead, though before she finally went to sit on the opposite side of the table with her back to the kitchen sink as she faced me. We started eating, surprisingly in comfortable silence. Probably, because we were too hungry to be talking. That was what I thought, though. When we were halfway to our meal, Mom talked. “Do you find your best friend cute?” I choked on the pancake that I was chewing on and coughed terribly. I kept dabbing my fist to my chest as Mom hurried to pour me a glass of water. “I’m so sorry, sweetie.” She kept apologizing but I held my hand up. She waited for me to calm down before letting me drink the water. “Jeez, I’m sorry.” “It’s okay, Mom.” My voice sounded weird. Nonchalantly, I dismissed it and continued eating. I did not want to talk about him. I did not want to answer the question. I was hoping Mom would not notice it but unfortunately, she did. “So, what do you think?” She was being pushy. “He’s not my best friend. I mean, not anymore.” Please don’t say anything now. I silently prayed but God did not answer it. My mother kept talking. I shouldn’t be surprised. “Come on. It’s too impossible for that to happen. You’re inseparable.” She seemed so happy about the thought of me and Storm. Her cheerful voice said it all. I stooped chewing on my food and looked at her. “Were. We were inseparable.” I corrected her.   “We talked last night, Olivia. I’m sure it’s just awkward at the moment. It’s been eleven years. You both need time to adjust with your age and attitude.” “It’s been a week, Mom.” “And?” “And we never talked within that span of time. Ever.” “Why? Don’t you have each other’s phone number?” She was confused now. The fine lines on her forehead are getting visible. “Are you even millennials? You can chat on i********: or f*******: or Snapchat.” I sighed. “I don’t want to talk to him. If he wants to talk to me, then we’ll talk.” I finished my breakfast, drank some water, and walked over to the sink to brush my teeth. I wouldn’t brush my teeth first thing in the morning because I normally eat breakfast first before I do that. I just felt that my mouth wouldn’t be fresh if I change that. When I was done, I kissed my Mom’s cheek before slinging my backpack on one shoulder and walked out of the kitchen. But before I could even reach the front door, Mom’s loud voice echoed in the living room as she shouted for me to wait. Closing my eyes and sighing, I turned around to see her walking fast towards me with a lunchbox in her hand. “What’s that?” I shook my head. “I mean what’s in there?” “Please give to this Storm.” “That doesn’t answer my question, Mom. What’s in that lun–” “Pancakes. You know how much he loves pancakes, right? This is my way of thanking him for taking you to school.” “I’m right here. Besides, we’re not even sure if he’d pass by here to give me a lift.” “He’ll be here soon. Please.” She was making that soft eyes that made me give up. I sighed for the nth time and took the lunch box from her. There was even a note on top of the lid saying, ‘Thank you for taking Lulu with you to school.’ I could not help but roll my eyes at the note. I meant I hadn’t gotten out of the house yet. Nevertheless, I put it in my backpack. “Thank you, sweetie!” She called out cheerfully as I continued my way to the door. Raising and waving my hand at her without turning around, I walked out of the door and my assumption was right when I saw our empty driveway. I assumed she would not pass by the house. Walking past through our wooden gates, I started walking on the side of the road. I was thinking of waiting but what if he wouldn’t really come? I’d rather start moving than waiting for nothing. The day was really fine. The sun was shining but it was still the Vitamin D sunlight. There were birds chirping and I passed by a cute squirrel climbing the tree so fast on the other side of the road. I suddenly found it so adorable when it just stared at me. I came to a halt, fished my phone out of my jeans pocket, and opened my camera. Just when I was ready to take a picture of it, a shiny red car suddenly stopped in front of me, blocking the view. It was a freaking Convertible. I was still holding my phone up when the car windows rolled down and a guy in a white T-shirt with sunglasses on spoke, “Take a shot now.” He said that as he held his shades down and with that signature smirk on his face. So, I did. And I was so damn grateful the camera sound didn’t sound. I put my phone back into my pocket. I ignored his annoying handsome face and continued on walking. They were following close beside me at a very slow speed, though. I hate you! I wanted to tell him that right on his face but it was not even true. I hated his arrogant personality. I hated how dashing he looked. That was it. “Olivia, won’t you come to ride with us?” It was Starr and I suddenly felt bad that she seemed sad when she asked me that. “Come on. Don’t be such a kid. Stop being overdramatic and just get in the car.” I stopped walking but kept my eyes ahead. That hurt, I did admit. Taking a shaky breath, I opened the back seat and got in the car, sitting beside Starr. “Hi.”: She smiled at me. “Hi.” I felt like crying but I managed to smile at her. “We saw you walking so we didn’t stop by your house.” She informed me. “Oh. I just thought I’d get some morning exercise.” “The school is like an hour-walk from here.” She sounded surprised. “I can do that.” I smiled at her. That kind of smile when I wouldn’t show my teeth. It was not a forced smile. It wasn’t just my best smile. We were talking in the backseat as if no one was driving the car. However, I caught him glancing at me through the rearview mirror. It annoyed me when he just smirked at me. I knew he was just playing it cool and as if I didn’t catch him stealing a glance at me. “I feel so excited for today.” Starr couldn’t get over it. She had been telling me that a week ago. “Yeah, I know how you feel.” I had been telling her that a week ago too. But honestly, I wasn’t like her. I wasn’t so excited about my very first day in high school. That was in Australia. I couldn’t remember a time when I was so excited about school until now. Until now that I was finally going to the same school as him. But it wasn’t the happy feeling of excitement. It was more of a scared one because he was not exciting anymore. He’s rude, cold, and arrogant. “Hey, Storm. Please wait for me at the cafeteria. Mom said the three of us should lunch together.” She told her brother. “Oh, no. Don’t worry about me. I’ll just have lunch by myself. I’m sure you miss your friends so much and your brother must have missed his friends too.” “I do want to have lunch with my friends but Mom said that we should accompany and I have no problem with that because I don’t want you to be alone.” This girl is so damn soft-hearted. I was speechless, just staring at her in shock. She was the complete opposite of the one who was driving the car. They were so different. It felt so nice hearing those from her. Not knowing the words to say, I threw my arms around her. I was so overwhelmed that I could not help but wanting to hug her. “Thank you,” I whispered. “For being so nice to me.” I got emotional easily and it was one of my weaknesses. “Stop that. It looks so dramatic.” An insensitive guy spoke from the driver’s seat. I did not listen to him and kept hugging his sister. “I’ll wait for you at the cafeteria, okay?” She was patting my back and I felt the comfort in her actions. Breaking the hug apart, I gratefully smiled at her and nodded my head. “Okay.” “Oh, we’re here.” She suddenly announced, looking past me. Turning my head to the side, I realized we just parked and I saw my new high school. Central Park East High School. There seemed to be four floors including the basement. Many students enrolled here. I did some background checks on the school last week and learned that admissions had become fiercely competitive. It said that majority of the students were from low-income families and that the staff had studies how to best serve them. I already liked the school from that perspective. I don’t why the Butlers send their children here when they can send them to the most expensive and prestigious private schools around the city. “Are you just going to stay there for the whole day?” I blinked, tore my eyes off the building, and looked at Storm had an annoyed and impatient face. “Sorry,” I mumbled as I opened the door and hopped out of his car. I slung my backpack on both shoulders and silently followed behind them as we walked to the entrance. Before we could walk into the hallway, I remembered something. “Wait.” He stopped walking. Starr was had already walked into the hallway and met her friends. “What?” Why do you always sound so rude? “I have something for you. Oh, no. I mean… Not me. It’s… It’s…” Shit. Why am I stuttering? “It’s what?” I could tell he was getting more annoyed because he was scowling at me. “It’s from my Mom.” I finished. The lunch box was already in my hand so I held it to him. “What is this?” Thankfully, he took it from my hold. “Pancakes.” My voice came out soft and low.    Too embarrassed of stuttering in front of him, I silently walked past him and into the hallway of crazy students. It’s… It’s... so hard to be with you.              
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