Falling For My Ex

Chapter Two - Worst mistake of my life

I see Sydney head into a hotel. Why is she staying in a hotel? I know she didn’t go inside because of me since I took a moment to catch up with her. I stand outside, wondering if I should go in and use my charm and smile to get the receptionist to tell me her room. Are they allowed to do that?

I need to talk to her. I can’t blame her for my hating me since I left her. She is even more beautiful than I remember. However, her long dark hair is now shorter. And the sadness in those pretty green eyes is enough to break my heart all over again. It is the same way she looked at me when I broke up with her and told her I was moving. It is still one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I was an idiot for leaving, but I was a stupid twenty year old guy who thought he wanted more experience in not only life but women, too, since I was with Sydney since I was fourteen. She wasn’t only my first real girlfriend but my first love and also the first person I had sex with. I thought I wanted something different and to have fun, but the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. I have never fallen in love again. Yes, I have hooked up, dated and had relationships, but nothing like I had with Sydney.

I have been keeping my eye on her through her socials or our friend’s socials. It was the only way I could make sure she was okay. I couldn’t call or text her because I knew she still probably hated me, and I was too much of a coward. I only came back to Glasgow a couple of weeks ago. A part of me wanted to reach out, but I didn’t, and the fact she has a boyfriend is another reason. I still can’t understand why she has no place to stay because they have been together a while and I thought they would have moved in together by now.

I sigh and stroll into the hotel. I head straight for the reception area.

“Hello, sir. How can I help you?” The receptionist smiles.

“Hi, well, what it is, my girlfriend is staying in the hotel due to work being done in the house. I have been away for work, and she wasn’t expecting me back for a few days, but I managed to get back sooner. I want to surprise her, but I am unsure of her room number.” I say sweetly.

I really hope this works.

“How sweet. What is your girlfriend’s name?”

She seems to be buying it.

“Sydney Fraser. I could text, but then it wouldn’t be a surprise. Could you give me her room number, please?” I flash my best smile at her.

She turns her attention to her computer for a moment, “She is in room one eighteen, which is on the first floor.” She smiles.

“Thank you so much,” I reply brightly.

I don’t know if she was supposed to tell me. Hopefully, it won’t get her in trouble. I decide to use the stairs rather than wait for the lift. I have no idea what to say to her when I knock on the door.

I find the room quickly. I went to knock but then pulled back. I take a few deep breaths, trying to prepare myself. It takes some time. I pace the hallway for a few minutes. I need to get a grip! This isn’t me. I am a confident guy who goes after what he wants. I am not some awkward idiot.

I gather myself and knock loudly on the door. I want to make sure she hears it. She won’t be sleeping because Sydney always took forever to fall asleep unless that has changed. It has been five years, after all. She didn’t answer initially, so I waited a few seconds and knocked again.

I don’t want to keep banging on the door and scare her. I will try one last time, third time lucky, hopefully. I draw in a breath and then release it. I knocked one last time, but louder. I wait, but still nothing. I sigh and turn to walk away, but before I can, I hear the door open.

“What do you want, Justin? How do you even know my room number?” she snaps.

I guess she probably saw it was me through the peephole and didn’t want to answer until she realised, I wasn’t leaving. She is wearing a bathrobe; she must have been on her way for a shower.

“I want us to talk. I told the receptionist you were my girlfriend and I wanted to surprise you. Why are you staying in a hotel, angel?”

Sydney rolls her eyes when I call her angel. I used to call her it all the time when we were together. It is a force of habit.

“None of your business. Don’t call me that. You have no right to call me that anymore.” She snaps.

I sigh and rub the back of my neck, “Sorry. Can I please come in so we can talk?”

“No! We have nothing to talk about. Leave me alone, Justin.”

Sydney tries to close the door, but I put my foot out, “You know me well enough to know I am stubborn as hell, and I won’t leave until you talk to me. If you close the door, I will just sit outside. You will need to come at some point.” I smirk.

She glares at me, “Don’t smirk at me. Do whatever you want. I don’t care. You can sit outside the door for as long as you want, but it doesn’t matter because you aren’t getting in. I don’t need to leave the room; I have everything I need for a couple of days.”

There is a sly look on her face when she says it.

I cross my arms over my chest and raise my brow, “You know I will do it.”

“Do as you please. Goodbye.”

She kicks my foot away and closes the door, locking it behind me. I know it isn’t going to be easy to get her to talk to me. I don’t blame her because I broke her heart, but I meant what I said. I sit down outside of her hotel room door. Sydney will make me sit out here for a while, but she will eventually open the door to me.

I take my phone out and mess around with it. I go onto my photos and swipe through them. I still have all the pictures of Sydney and me. I would never get rid of them. I smile as I look at them. We look happy. We were happy until I decided to be a coward and run because it was all getting too much. I stop at one of my favourites. I am sitting behind her, my arms around her from behind, and she is glancing up at me with a beautiful smile on her lips. That was a good day. We went on a day trip to Belfast. It was perfect.

I open my Facebook page and find her name. I add the photo to it.

Do you remember this day? XX

We have a lot of good memories together. We always fitted perfectly together in all ways. I think it helped we were friends for a couple of years before we started our relationship. The heat and passion were there from the moment we started having sex at sixteen. Sydney still, to this day, is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I lose her, but there is no one to blame but myself.

My parents told me I would regret leaving her. I told them I would be fine, but they were right. I loved staying in London, but it wasn’t home, and Sydney wasn’t there. I should have come back sooner.