Ripped Away And Apart

Kafli 18.

“I am not hungry” I say again to the food the people here keep offering me. 

“Ana you have not taken a bite since you came here four days ago! If you don't eat then you will die” the nurse says worried. 

I look up at the young woman, she is about the same age as me but she went to school and made a life for herself when the worthless me just sniffed my life away. 

“Just leave me alone” I say and look back at the tv. 

This is my place, this lazy boy in the tv room is my place and now everyone knows. I have not moved from this place unless to sleep or to the bathroom. I don't have the remote control for the tv so I just watch what is on but I don't really see it, all I see is the video of that b***h sucking Max. I hate him so much! No, no, no I will not have another rage attack. I take a deep breath, the first day when I woke up my whole body hurt because I needed more drugs but of course I could not get more. My whole body trembled and I sweated and sweated, the next day I took a rage on the person sitting in my chair and had to be sedated. My family is not allowed to visit me and they took my phone away from me. I have laughed a little at this situation because I am in the same place like from a few months ago but now I don't have Max. 

Max….

My heart hurts from thinking about him and I feel like banging my head against the wall. I look around, Miss crazy eyes and Ghost is sitting with me in the tv room, they are not my friends but they have been keeping it close. This place is different from my last stay in a mental hospital, people here keep talking about their mates and alpha and stuff like that. One older woman here that just keeps puzzling keeps saying to herself over and over that her mate will come. Then there's this guy rather skinny but tall that keeps banging on the glass saying that his brother is an alpha and will come and get him. I have even noticed a few people smelling me…

“NO I am telling you! Call the beta! I am just passing by! I am not trespassing on your turf!” 

I don't look up from the tv when they brought in this new guy.. They come and go. There are about four new ones each day and about four others leave. 

“Ana?” 

I look up at the girl again but this time she does not have food in her hands. 

“The doctor is ready to see you now” 

I look away from her back to the tv. 

“Tell him to f**k off” 

“Ana you have to see him sooner or later or you will never leave here” 

Without looking at her I answer.

“Who says I want to leave?” 

The woman walks away from me and I look back at the tv and try to focus on it but it is rather boring. 

“So did your mate die? I mean you are not marked so you should be fine human” 

I ignore Miss crazy eyes, she keeps saying things like that to me but I have no answer for her because that was total nonsense. 

“Hey I am talking to you” 

This is different, she usually just says one sentence then shuts up. I see her from the side of my eye that she stands up but Ghost takes her hand shaking his head. 

“Don't ignore me!” 

She rips her hand from his and walks closer to me but I am in no mood for this! I stand up from my chair and look her dead in those crazy eyes. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about you crazy psycho b***h! So back off!” 

She stops in her tracks but then she laughs a crazy sick laughter and shakes her head and sits back down. I see the nurses also back off but they stood up when I did and walked a little closer to us but now they are going back. 

“Your mate sure is not dead” she says to herself looking out the window behind the couch, she and Ghost are sitting on.

I shake my head, I take my blanket and wrap it better around me while I sit back down in my chair. I wonder when she said mate she meant Max? My heart clenched up. Max, I wonder what he is doing, I wonder if he is thinking about me or f*****g that tramp. I feel this rage boil up inside me and I am glad I could snap a little at Crazy eyes but I want to get more of my chest. I stand up from my chair and walk to the bathroom, I look at myself in this tiny little mirror. I have blue bags under my eyes, my skin is white and my eyes are lifeless. I just stare into my eyes for a little while until I scream out and punch the mirror with everything I have. The mirror breaks but I am afraid my hand does as well. I sit down on the floor, holding my hand and letting the tears stream down my face. People start to bang on the door but I just sit on the floor looking at the plumbing at the base of the sink. There is so much pain streaming from my hand but I just try to embrace it with everything I can because I am so thankful for the pain. 

“ANA!” 

“OPEN UP!”

“WE WILL BREAK THE DOOR DOWN!” 

“OPEN UP NOW!”

Then after a few more yelling and arguing on the other side the door is broken up and in walk two strong men from security. 

“f**k!”

One picks me up from the floor and runs with me out of the bathroom, he walks with me to the doctors office and puts me down on the bed.

“How did this happen? Why was no one watching her?” the doctor says angry while looking at my hand. 

“She did this in the bathroom, we can not watch her there!” 

The doctor moved my hands sideways and I screamed out and squeezed my eyes closed. I open my eyes and look at my hand in his and I want to laugh but I can't. There is streaming blood out of it and there is even glass from the mirror sticking out of my hand. I look away from my hand because I can not believe that I am back to this! Hurting myself to escape the pain on the inside. A pain he inflicted. Then I feel a pinch and I can not open my eyes again.. 

I am tired..

I should sleep. 

I wake up and my throat is very very dry, I need to drink something. 

“So you are awake..” 

I open my eyes but I don't have my glasses so I can not see anything. 

“Yeah they told me you need these” 

The girl says with a rather serial killer-like voice but she puts my glasses on. She is a very beautiful woman, curvy in the right places, big bright red lips, brown eyes with long brown hair and perfect white teeth. I have to say even I have a little girl crush on her. She leans closer to me. 

“Do me a favor and don't do that again or I will bind you down permanently” 

That little girl crush was quick to vanish with her telling me what to do. 

“Water” 

She lifts up one perfectly shaped eyebrow but then she sighs and gives me water rather carefully. I drink the whole glass and then she looks at me. 

“I don't know who the f**k you are and why I should listen to you but I can tell you something” I stop a little to cough a little. 

“If I want to jump from this building then I will, If I want to slit my throat with one of the glasses then I will! If I want to do something then I will, I will not take orders from you or anyone else here!” I snap and the fire inside me felt a little smaller. 

She takes a step back but then she smiles. 

“You sure are his mate” 

Then she brings her hand up to her chin. 

“I am not sure it is a good thing or a bad thing but we will see” 

She starts to walk out of the hospital room and I then realize that I am tied down to the bed on both arms and legs but I don't struggle against it. I just relax in the bed. 

“Oww and to introduce myself, I am Alpha Lillian of the blue moon pack” 

Ahh I see now, she is just one of the people here in the hospital, she is mentally unstable, I roll my eyes.

“Alrighty crazy pants see ya” I say closing my eyes again.