The Taste of Forgotten Love (Rated R-18) [COMPLETED]

Let's Run Away

Naglapat ang kanilang mga labi. The softness of her lips is still the same. Pero bakit gan'on? Bakit wala siyang maramdaman? Walang kakaiba? Wala ang pangungulila na inaasahan niya.

Baffled, he withdrew from the kiss and stared at the face of his first love.

Bakit gan'on? Bakit wala na siyang maramdamang iba kundi guilt at awa?

His eyes say it's the woman he loves but his heart no longer remembers her at all.

"I know you still love me and I feel the same way too. Hindi ko na kayang tikisin pa ang pagmamahal ko sa iyo, Lang." Ginagap nito ang kamay niya. "Let's leave. Let's run away from this. Tuparin natin ang mga pangarap natin noon. We can go to US anytime and then to Monaco, right?"

May dinukot ito sa bulsa at ipinakita sa kaniya.

"I have all my documents with me— visa, passport, IDs. We can go anywhere we want to Langdon just as we planned back then."

"Cas..."

Niyakap siya nito nang napakahigpit. "Come on, Lang. Hindi ko na gusto ang ganitong buhay! Ilang beses kong pinag-aralang mamuhi sa iyo pero hindi ko talaga magawa. My family might see me as a traitor but I don't care. I want to live my life the way I wanted to. It's my second life and I want to spend the rest of it with you. Ilang taon akong nagtago dahil sa takot. Ayoko na ng ganung buhay. I want to live a normal life."

Hinaplos niya ang likod nito para payapain.

How can he tell her he's confused about his feelings for her? It would be cruel to say it in her face given the things she went through.

"Cas, you know it's not the best time to run away. We're caught in a war. Kahit saang anggulo natin tingnan, mali ang tumakas tayo lalo pa at maraming buhay ang nakataya."

Natigilan ito saka lumayo sa kaniya. Kinagat nito ang daliri sa tensiyon at nagpalakad-lakad.

"I know that but... I can't endure it anymore, Langdon. Hindi ko na kaya. Hirap na hirap na ako. Miss na miss na kita."

Dumako ang kamay nito sa tiyan at nagsimulang humikbi nang malakas.

"My baby, our baby, Lang. Ni hindi ko man lang siya nakitang maisilang. Ni hindi ko alam kung babae o lalaki ba siya o baka twins sila kagaya nila Trisha at Femella."

Nawalan ng lakas ang mga tuhod nito kaya mabilis niya itong sinalo.

"But I can't even hate my own family for doing that because they are all I have."

"Cas, please stop it," alo niya rito kasabay nang pagtulo ng mga luha niya. "I want to share the pain with you but I feel like I have no right. Hindi kita nagawang protektahan noon. I'm sorry for not being there with you."

She lifted her head into his hollowed eyes.

"I don't want to share that horrible feeling with you, Langdon. It's an ugly emotion that will eat you up. Wala ka nang iba pang iisipin sa bawat segundo ng buhay mo kundi ang sakit na lang. I can't let that steal my life away. Buhay ako. I'm given this chance to be with you. Please Lang, rescue me. Take me away from here. Ayoko na rito."

Gusto niyang sabihin na alam na alam niya ang sinasabi nito. For years since her death, that's the only emotion that woke him up everyday but that changed when Cin came into his life.

Pinahid niya ang mga luha sa mga mata nito at tumango.

"I promise, I will take you out from here, Cas. I will give up everything for you. I will arrange a private jet for you so that you can leave tomorrow."

Sumungaw ang pag-asa sa mukha nito.

"I propose Romania. Mauuna ka dun saka ako susunod sa iyo."

The hope in her eyes disappeared the instant they appeared. "Hindi ka sasama sa akin."

It was more of a statement than a question. Tinitigan siya nito na parang may hinahanap at nang makita iyon ay nagtakip ito ng kamay sa bibig nang may nahinuha.

"You..." Humiwalay ito sa kaniyang hawak at umatras patungo sa dingding.

"You're letting your guilt override your love for me, Lang."

Nagbaba siya ng tingin at ikinulong ang ulo sa mga kamay. Cin's face materialized in his mind.

Is it really just guilt? Bakit naghihimagsik ang kalooban niya nang sabihin iyon ni Cas?

"How can I forget? Ang pinakamamahal kong pinsan ang siyang may pinakamalaking isinakripisyo rito."

Mabilis siyang nagtaas ng mukha dito. Did she know? Did she realize his change of heart?

"Araw-araw akong hihingi ng tawad kay Cin dahil hindi ko na siya magawang ipaghiganti pa. I know you killed her Langdon but I also know you only did it out of your revenge scheme against our supposed death. I can never justify your sins but so is mine. May mali rin ako. Kung nagpakita kaagad ako, hindi mo iyon magagawa. I am also partly to blame. I made you this. Look at you, you lost your position in your family. If Cin was alive, I know she will understand me. She knows how much we love each other."

Pagapang na lumapit ito sa kaniya at niyakap ang isang hita niya.

"I'm sorry for shooting you that night. Nadala lang ako ng galit ko sa iyo. Akala ko rin ay may ginagawa ka sa libingan ni Cin."

"How could I do that?" Tumingala siya nang gumiti na naman sa utak niya ang mala-anghel na mukha nito.

How could I when all I wanted is to be given another chance to be with her and to treat her right this time?

Muntik na niyang isatinig pero pinigilan niya ang sarili.

It would be unfair to Cas who also went through hell but still chose to ask him to be with her. The Cas who encouraged him fervidly, who first trusted his being and potential, and who still loves him even after all the chaos he created.

He laid his head on top of hers and caressed her head.

"Alam ko ring ang dami mong isinakripisyo, Cas. Your future, the opportunity to be with your real mother, you wasted it all for our love. Wala ako sa tabi mo noong nagluksa ka sa pagkawala ng anak natin. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for not saving you back then. Every day after that night, I didn't live for a day not regretting what I had done and I could have. Sana hindi na kita inaya na magtanan noon. I should not have pursued you if I know that this is our unfortunate fate."

Hinalikan niya ang noo nito saka pumikit at hinayaan ang sariling lumuha. Ilang taon niyang hiniling ang ganitong tagpo. Sa mga panaginip lang niya nakakasama noon si Cas kaya dapat ay walang pagsidlan ang saya niya ngayon na nasa mga bisig na niya ito.

But instead of tremendous love and gratitude he should be feeling, there is only guilt.

Guilt because he doesn't want her anymore like he used to.

Guilt because no matter how he recalled the way he felt before for her, for some reason, he can't bring it to mind at all.

"May kinuha sila sa atin kaya inisip mo na kapag kinuha mo si Alcindra sa kanila ay amanos na kayo but that's not the case, Lang. I wouldn't have met you if not for Cin."

Natigilan siya sa pag-amin ni Cas.

"What do you mean?" Pinaharap niya sa kaniya si Cas para usisiin. "What do you mean, Cas?"

"She didn't tell you? Oh, Cin!" Itinakip nito ang kamay sa bibig nang may nahinuha. "Poor Cin! Alam mo bang dahil sa kaniya kaya nakilala kita? The party! You were with Sergio in the party! Sergio... Sergio... Sergio likes Tatiana. And Tatiana! She was there when they shot me!"

Nanlaki ang mga mata nito at nag-unahan sa pag-agos ang mga luha. Niyakap nito ang sarili at umatras palayo sa kaniya.

"Cas? Are you okay? Cas?!"

Lumuhod siya sa harapan nito para kunin ang atensiyon nito ngunit hindi na niya mahuli ang mata nito. It seems like she's in here but her mind is somewhere there.

"I fell from the cliff, Langdon. It's dark, very dark. I can't see anything. Ang lamig."

Nagsimula itong mangaligkig. She clutched her chest in pain

"Haaah! Haaah!" she shouted and began pounding her chest.

"Casindra! Casindra!" Pinigilan niya ang mga kamay nito para hindi nito saktan ang sarili.

"Are you okay?! Cas! Tell me what's wrong. Tell me what I should do!"

"I can't breathe. Plastic... Bag... Anything..."

Tumakbo siya sa kusina para maghanap ng brown bag at nang makahanap ay mabilis na bumalik para ibigay rito. He soothed her while she's trying to calm herself up. Nang bumalik na sa normal ang paghinga nito ay umiiyak na sumiksik ito sa kaniyang gilid.

She fell asleep in his arms afterwards. Kinarga niya ito papunta sa kama at maingat na kinumutan bago nagpunta sa sala at naglabas ng alak.

Sa sinag ng buwan na naglalagos sa glass window ay pinagmasdan niya ang picture ni Cin sa wallet. Ito iyong kinunan niya sa rock formation noong unang beses na namasyal sila.

She looks so beautiful and fragile in her yellow dress.

Witnessing how Cas suffered made him think of Cin as well. Did she also...

Tumayo siya para kumuha ng chocolate drink na paborito nito. Itinabi niya ito sa picture ni Cin at nagsimulang uminom.

He clanked the bottle of his beer to the side of the chocolate drink before guzzling the liquor into his mouth.

Pumikit siya at inalala uli ang mukha nito.

"God, I miss you so much, Cin. So much that I wish I could go to you now."