How Deep is Your Love?

19 - Natalie

I’m currently seated with Tita Lorie on the backseat of the car. We just had some shopping together to lighten up her mood and make her feel better. Now, we’re on our way home. So far, we did enjoy the day together and I’m so grateful that she did this with me. I am not sure when can I visit her again and so I made sure to make the most out of our day together.

“Is that?” She suddenly blurted out which made turn to her. “Bernard, stop the car. Now!”

Bernard went to the side and stopped then Tita Lorie immediately got out in a rush. Worried, I followed her right away.

“Tita, what’s going on?” I asked as I walked faster to catch up.

“That girl. Don’t you recognize her?” She answered as she pointed at the direction of a girl clinging on a guy as they happily walk side street from a distance.

I fixed my glasses as I didn’t wear my contacts today and sharply looked at the woman. My eyes widened realizing who that is. They looked so sweet together and the guy even leaned down to quickly kiss the woman on her lips.

Joanna.

“I knew that girl can’t be trusted!” Tita Lorie exclaimed.

“Tita. Let’s go.” I tried to intervene.

“No, I’ll follow them.” She blurted out.

“But-“

Then she just marched on following the two and so I stayed close to her. After walking for a few more minutes, the two then entered a hotel together. I can sense how Tita Lorie’s anger grew by the minute and was about to go follow them inside when I stopped her.

“Tita, no.” I contradicted and shook my head. “It’s not good to make a scene here.”

“I really want to bald that witch of a woman.” She blurted out angrily.

“Calm down, Tita. Please. It’s not good for you.” I said softly, trying to calm her down. “Please Tita, let’s just go home. You can confront her some other time, let your anger pass first.”

“I’m really so pissed right now.” Tita Lorie replied and I just placed my hand on her back and brush it.

“Let’s go, Tita. We’ll talk some other place, okay?” I cooed and she sighed deeply first before nodding.

***

“What???!!” I exclaimed in surprise after hearing Tita Lorie’s absurd suggestion. My cheeks reddened when I realized that some people are already looking at our direction because of my outburst.

“It’s the last resort.” She even added which made me close my eyes to process what she’s saying.

We’ve been in this café for more than an hour now trying to calm her anger. My heart really goes out to Brian because of what we saw. I still can’t believe that Joanna’s cheating on him. And then now, Tita Lorie suddenly came with this ridiculous idea and I’m not even sure if she’s thinking straight.

“I can’t, Tita. I’m sorry.” I immediately said and shook my head. “I can’t do that to Brian.”

“Sorry if I sounded desperate, iha. But it’s the only thing I can think off so we can save him from the witch.” She spat and searched my eyes. “I know it even if you don’t tell me, you’re still very much in love with Brian. So please, Natalie. I’ll help you.”

“Tita Lorie, please don’t make me do that. Yes, I love Brian. So very much that my heart hurts knowing that Joanna’s toying him. However, the idea of forcing him to marry me doesn’t sound right.” I tried to explain. “He doesn’t love me, Tita. And he might end up hating me forever.”

“Natalie. I know my son. I can see how he looks at you. He cares a lot about you and I know deep inside him, you also hold a space in there. Once you’re both married, he will soon learn to love you or maybe realize that he actually loves you. Just think about it, iha. Haven’t you really felt any signals from him about his feelings for you?” She countered. “Have you not felt his care at all?”

I was stunned for a moment and thought of all the times I felt hope in me that Brian also likes me. And yes, I will never deny it, I know he cares for me.

But is that really enough to force him into marrying me?

I shook my head once more. I can’t agree with her this time. “It’s just wrong, Tita. I’m sorry.”

“I know. I know it’s wrong. But it’s the only way I can think of.” Tita Lorie replied.

“We can just tell him about what we saw, Tita. We can warn him. Brian will-“ I started.

“He will not believe us.” Tita Lorie interrupted. “I haven’t told you about this but I overheard Joanna talking over the phone during one of their visits in the mansion before. And she was boasting of how much richer she’ll get once she marries my son.”

I gasped in horror upon hearing that.

“And he did not believe me when I told him. Me, his own mother. He even said that I was just making it up to call off the wedding because I didn’t like the girl for him in the first place.” She added, pain is evident in her voice as she relayed the story. “I was so hurt back then. He’s so blinded when it comes to that girl, Natalie. But I can’t just give up my son. So I asked our lawyer to prepare a prenuptial agreement for that girl to sign before their wedding. And he…Brian…he got so mad at me and even threatened to leave and never come back if I keep on insisting a prenup.”

“Tita.” I blurted out as I have no words to say.

“So please, iha. I know it’s very wrong and what I’m asking you to do is absurd. But I hope you understand. I don’t ever want to see my son going through another heartbreak because of that girl. Besides, I want you both to be happy. Once you both are married, then I can be in peace knowing that it’s you he’s married to.” Tita Lorie added, looking so desperate as she locked her eyes on me.

“He will hate me, Tita.” I answered, already teary.

“Maybe for the first few days or weeks. But I know he will surely learn to love you. Once he spends more time with you, his hate will fade away.” She uttered and gently grabbed both of my hands. “Please, Natalie. Do it for me as a favor. I’m begging you. Do it.”

“Tita.” I said reluctantly as tears already started streaming down. I felt so conflicted. Tita Lorie has never begged me to do anything before.

“Please, iha.” She added softly. “I know what I’m asking from you is selfish and wrong. But still, please help me save my son.”

I looked at her and closed my eyes.

Do I really have to?

This is the only time that Tita Lorie begged me.

I should do it as favor for her too, right?

And it’s also for Brian.

What if it’s really the only way to save Brian?

Will I really sacrifice myself for him?

In a heartbeat.

I will do anything for him.

Even if it means he will hate me for it.

Because I am deeply in love with him.

Opening my tear soaked eyes, I looked at Tita Lorie and slowly nodded.

“Alright, Tita. I’ll do it.” I uttered.

***

I nervously walked towards the study that night. It’s already past midnight and Tita Lorie said he’s still there. After all the talking I did last time about drinking, this is the only moment when I desperately wished that he’s already drunk. I softly knocked at the door and heard no response and so I opened it carefully, clutching on the blanket that I was nervously hiding behind my back.

“Brian.” I called out softly and thankfully, I saw him seated on his swivel chair, facing the window. I took the chance and carefully hid the blanket at the corner. “Brian.”

He still didn’t respond after I called him out the second time. Slowly walking towards him, I saw 3 bottles of whiskey on his table, 2 of which are empty and I inwardly sighed in relief knowing that he’s already been drinking. I then cautiously checked and saw that he was slightly snoring on his chair. Opening the last bottle of whiskey from his table, I filled his tiny glass and closed my eyes as I gulped a shot. The sharpness and heat of the whiskey burnt my throat and I almost gag because of how bitter it is. I do drink occasionally but mostly wine and beer. But then I know that I needed more of it in my system in order to accomplish the plan and so I poured and drank about 4 more shots. It honestly made me dizzy but thankfully, my alcohol tolerance is not that low so I can still remember the purpose of why I was there in the first place.

Leaning down, I realized that he really reeks of alcohol. I tapped his shoulders to wake him up but he dismissed.  That’s when I went to close the light but kept the curtains open in order to allow the light from the outside posts brighten the room instead. I tried to wake him up once more but failed. So I used my strength to pull him up.

“I told you to leave me alone.” He said murmured in annoyance as he tried to open his eyes but failed.

“You can’t sleep there, Brian.” I answered as I guided and assisted him towards the couch with much difficulty.

I sighed as soon as he dropped on the couch. Then I carefully started executing the plan. My hands were a bit shaky as I slowly removed the buttons of his polo until I successfully took it off. I blushed profusely and tried to gaze away from his upper body as the shadows contoured his chest, abs and firm muscles. I gulped a couple of times before wiping the sweat that had started forming on my forehead.

You can do this, Natz.

I sighed before I turned to him. Kneeling beside him, I finally have a better view of his face. I felt like it captivated me for a moment. Without thinking, I reached out my hand and caressed his face. Maybe I wasn’t too careful when I did that so he slightly turned and slowly opened his eyes.

“N-natz?” He whispered with his raspy voice and my eyes widened in fear.

And so I didn’t really think about what I did next. I immediately leaned down and pressed my lips on his. I kissed him. Then I felt his lips moved as it captured mine. My nerves were all over the place we shared a long passionate kiss. His kisses were a mixture of mint and whiskey. Maybe it was just me or the alcohol, but I found myself feeling drunk with his kisses. The desire that had risen in me grew stronger when I felt his lips move to my jaw, down to my neck. And his hands started roaming around my body, feeling me.

“Brian.” I moaned as I felt his hand on my chest.

Then I felt him his strong arms guiding me as he managed to sit down and eventually laid me down the carpet. He’s now on top of me as he continued to hungrily kiss me, slightly biting and nipping on my skin like he can’t get enough of it. I don’t exactly know how we ended up in this position and I couldn’t care less. I was just so lost in his kisses and on his hands that’s been exploring my body for some time now. I finally felt his lips back on the corner on my neck and I closed my eyes as I let him. However, to my surprise, I noticed he started to feel heavier in a minute and when I opened my eyes, he was already out and soundly sleeping on top of me. A wave of consciousness surged inside me and sighed when I realized what had just happened.

After a couple of minutes, I carefully pulled him back to couch. Luckily, he’s drunk enough to wake up. I immediately went back to the table and poured myself another shot of whiskey. Shaking my head, I went back to his side and closed my eyes as I carefully took off all his remaining clothes. It’s dim but I still went to get the blanket that I brought and quickly covered his very naked body. I sighed and breathe in deeply before I went to take another shot. I don’t know but I feel like the whiskey had already started affecting me because now I felt dizzy and hot.

Then I began removing my shirt, pants and everything, leaving nothing. I didn’t even know where I dropped them. I just reminded myself of the plan over and over again before I lose control. So I slowly walked towards him and stopped to stare at him for a while.

This is it.

Taking the blanket off, I carefully laid down on top of him. He moved for a while but didn’t wake up. My skin burnt at the touch of his but I forcefully ignored it. Then I fixed the blanket and covered us before finally placing my head on his chest.

“I’m sorry, Brian.” I whispered as I closed my eyes, finally swallowing the lump on my throat. “I’m sorry if I’m stupid and crazy enough to do this because I love you.”

***