How Deep is Your Love?

24 - Natalie

“Beautiful!” I gasped in excitement before taking a photo of the wild flowers which surrounded the cabin.

After bringing Brian’s food and eating mine, I immediately grabbed my camera and came out to take photos of everything outside. We’re like in the middle of the woods for this cabin that Mommy Lorie had prepared for us. Also, I remembered that she mentioned something about a river which is not too far from the cabin. It wouldn’t be so bad to go and relax with the gushing water there as well.

I would definitely check it out.

Mommy Lorie said that it would be cliché to have our honeymoon on the island or anything with sand or beaches. So she resorted into this place instead and I’m glad she did because this place is truly gorgeous. I stood up straight and looked at the side of the bedroom.

Is he already awake?

Did he eat the food that I prepared for him?

If I ask him to go with me in the river, would he come?

I sighed as I slightly kicked a pebble. I bit my lower lip. Ever since I was young, I have always thought of a princess like wedding where my prince would be there to sweep me off my feet. I imagined myself smiling broadly as I walk down the aisle and so with my groom, crying because of love and happiness as he sees me march towards him slowly and gracefully. Then he’d happily declare to every guest how lucky he is to have me. Afterwards, we’d go to our honeymoon and happily spend our time together, promising to love each other until the very end. I wanted to marry someone who’ll be there with me through thick and thin, someone who’d give me a complete family. It was something that I thought I didn’t get while growing up without my dad.

Funny how everything that had recently happened is contrary to all those things. I trapped my husband into marrying me. He was just forced to accept me. He hates me and thinks this whole honeymoon thing is ridiculous. He doesn’t want to spend time with me and is probably thinking of ways to avoid me. And for what I am afraid most is that he’d eventually leave me. But even if the situation is like this, I still can’t deny the fact that I’m happy. Because despite the fact that I lied and that he hates me, I know that my feelings for him are true.

I love him.

And I saved him. That’s the most important thing. He wouldn’t have to suffer another heartbreak upon knowing that Joanna is cheating. He wouldn’t have to drown himself in alcohol and darkness once again, right?

I did the right thing, right?

I shook my head and tried to plaster a small smile on my face.

This place is beautiful.

I shouldn’t be spending my time wallowing.

I should just continue to try my best and make him fall for me.

Plus, I would just appreciate everything that I have now.

Sighing, I went and continued what I was doing. Humming, I went from flower to flower and took photos. I even got pictures of the cabin, the large stones which was cutely arranged as a pathway, the trees and the canopy they formed surround the cabin, the spiders on some plants, the ants, the sky, everything.

I giggled as I remembered the same reaction I had after knowing that Brian’s mansion is actually the mansion with the barn and the lake where we had our lunch for the first time. I didn’t notice it the night before and so imagine my surprise when I realized that the owner he was talking about that time is actually himself. Plus, Timmy, the man who served us at that is actually the husband that Rita had mentioned the night before.

“Who owns this place?” I asked curiously.

“Just someone I know.” He replied and pout at him.

“Yeah, right.” I muttered and his lips slightly curled.

I smiled at the thought. Tsk. Someone I know.

It was just sad that I wasn’t really able to explore the mansion when Mommy Lorie called us to go back to the mansion for something important. Then one thing led to another and the next thing we know, we’re here.

No worries, Natz. You still have a lot of days ahead of you to explore the mansion.

It would have been nicer as well if Brian doesn’t hate her. And just like how he treated her that day, he’d accompany her and personally tour her around.

“Are you that happy to be here?” A voice suddenly pulled me out of my thoughts.

I turned around and saw Brian by the door, he was just wearing a plain shirt and shorts, hair disheveled and bare footed. But still, his charisma is really oozing.

“Don’t you have boutiques to check and monitor?” He added as his brows met. “I mean; you were like in a hurry to go back to LA as soon as you got back before. So what changed now?”

“I got married. That’s what changed. And for now, it’s on my top list. This marriage we have is something I want to work out. For both of us.” I answered straightly looking at him and he looked a little taken a back for my bluntness. “Well, I studied hard for my masters the first two years when I got there. Then I work hard afterwards when I decided to start my business. During those four years, I never gave myself a break nor even a day off. I did that day and night until I got the right timing to finally get a vacation after everything. I’m blessed to have trustworthy employees and so far everything is doing good with my business. So now, I think I deserve every bit of this break that I’m having after working so long. And I know you do to, don’t you think?”

“Tsk. Whatever you say.” He said before turning his back on me, walking inside.

I smiled and immediately ran after him, grabbing his arm gently.

“Don’t you want to go outside and explore with me? I think the flora and fauna in this place is quite unique.” I said excitedly and he stopped to look at me. “Plus, Tita…I mean…Mommy Lorie said that there’s a river not too far from this cabin. We can also go there and relax. The sound of the flowing water would surely be relaxing.”

“Tsk. May I remind you, Natalie? In this relationship, you have to keep in mind that there’s only you for you and me for me. There is no you and me. There is no we.” He replied before removing my hand from his arm. “You do you and I do me. GO and do whatever you want. I don’t really care. Don’t ever come after me and bother me again.”

My heart sank hearing those hurtful words from him once again. But I just looked down as I felt his presence getting farther away from me.

Can I really do this?

Can I really make it work if it’s only me who wanted it to work?

***

I smiled as I saw an astonishing view of the mountain as it offers a beautiful view of the sun setting behind it, its rays glistening at the river’s water as it sets. There was a flat area at the river bank where I automatically laid down, feeling the warm rays of the sun before it hides. Mommy Lorie was right. This river is perfectly beautiful and it’s not really far from the cabin. I made my way here after editing out some photos that I took earlier plus cooking our lunch. So far, I felt happy that Brian ate the breakfast I brought him and the lunch I made. Maybe because he also has no choice since it’s just the two of us here and he’d die of hunger if he won’t. Truly, Mommy Lorie’s plan to make us closer by bringing us here is good since we would have to depend on each other for the whole week. Brian has to depend on me for his food because it’s not his forte. I smiled at the thought that at least I can do something for him.

“Are you sure you don’t really wanna come out with me to check the river? Mommy Lorie said the view is stunning. I just don’t want you to miss it.” I said and smiled as I tried to convince my husband to get out for the nth time.

He still didn’t look at me and just continued playing with his phone. He was actually so upset upon confirming that this place barely had reception and most of all, the internet has no network. Thus, his plan to work while here didn’t work.

“You’ll rot in here. I swear I won’t be talking a lot if it annoys you so much.” I declared.

He gave me a short glance before focusing back on his phone.

“Brian?” I asked once more and still no answer.

So I just sighed and began walking towards the door.

“I’ll just be by the river just in case you wanna follow.” I gave up and walked out.

I sighed as I walked towards the riverbank. Breathing in the fresh air, it somehow made me feel lighter. I yelped a little as soon as my feet touched the water. It was quite cold and it sunk beneath my skin. I should have expected that since the sun is almost hiding and breeze had started to get colder with it. I just can’t help but try soaking in the water because I felt that it called me as soon as I saw it. Walking in deeper into the center, I shivered as my body got wet little by little. Then I eventually sat to submerge my whole body, holding my breath for as long as I can before standing up.

“Whoa!” I squealed as I catch my breath and chuckled.

That was refreshing.

I felt like the cold water enlivened me and now all I wanted to do is to swim until I get tired. And so I did. I enjoyed swimming from the far end of the river until the bank and vice versa. Going back and forth. At least, while doing so, I somehow got rid of all the worries and what ifs that kept spinning inside my head. I swam as if the water was my freedom, like I was able to be released from everything, a chance to experience weightlessness.

I could swim forever. I thought.

If only I can stay here forever. Life would surely be a bliss all the time.

The cool water moved and swirled around me as I swam from side-to-side and didn’t really notice the time and that the water level had actually started rising. Reaching the far end, I sat silently on a huge rock and squeezed my hair when I finally noticed that it’s almost dark.

Time flies.

I sighed as I felt the cool breeze on my wet skin and shivered.

Time to go.

Diving into the water, I then started swimming back to the riverbank but the gushing of the water had suddenly become stronger and it made it more difficult for me to swim. Halfway, I then felt painful cramps on my right leg and foot.

“Aah!” I yelled as squinted in pain and tried to reach for my leg.

Losing my control, I was then pushed by the water making me swirl inside as I drank some of it. I immediately swam up and coughed out as I tried to take in more air before the water swallowed me once more. With great struggle and while my leg still painful, I still tried my best to go above the surface but the current had become too strong now. Tired from all the swimming, I felt my body had given up as water began to fill my lungs.

Is this the end of me?

Will I die now?

But I’m still too young.

I just got married.

I still have a lot of things to do.

What about my friends and family?

What about Brian?

Will I die without even saying goodbye?

I didn’t know what was going on already as all these thought immediately filled my brain. And with that, I didn’t know what happened next. I just know that the last word I thought of was, “Sorry.”

***