How Deep is Your Love?

23 - Natalie

Of course, Tita Lorie would never settle for less. Still, we haven’t expected all the arrangements she secretly made for our honeymoon. The drive to the countryside where were supposed to go as per Tita Lorie was long and quiet and awkward. We were just called back to the mansion earlier for something important but we didn’t think that we’ll be led to the airport afterwards. And now, after an hour and half flight, we got into this car to use it until we reach our final destination.

“I’m going to miss you, iha. You enjoy and relax there, okay?” Tita Lorie stated as her eyes got a bit teary.

“Thanks, Tita. You should rest more and take care while we’re not here.” I responded and she pinched my cheek.

“How many times do I have to remind you that you should now call me, mom?” She reminded and I blushed almost immediately.

Ever since our wedding was arranged, she kept insisting that I should be calling her mom since Brian and I will soon get married and she’ll be my mother-in-law. I felt flattered but I’m still not used to it.

“Sorry, Ti-…uhm…Sorry, mom.” I reacted and she smiled broadly. Well, that didn’t feel awkward. Maybe because she’s always been a mom to me anyway.

“See? You’ll get used to it.” She teased and hugged me once more.

We’ll be spending a week in the countryside as per her arrangements and I know that I’ll truly miss her. My eyes then shifted to the man standing beside me afterwards and Brian was just standing there, emotionless, waiting as we said our goodbyes.

“You both take care.” Tito Philip said and hugged me briefly too.

Then I turned to the man standing beside Tito Philip, eyeing me ever since we got back to the mansion this morning.

“Dad.” I said and smiled at him.

And with that, he immediately engulfed me in a warm and tight hug. And as we released each other, I saw his eyes was full of emotions I couldn’t really fathom. Then it became more evident, he’s worried. He may be a little too late to find me, but I know he loves me wholeheartedly and unconditionally. He wanted to pay back all the time that was lost and all the years that he wasn’t present in my life. And he did. Even if he’s not so vocal about it, he really did his very best to show me all of his love.

“I’ll be fine, dad. Don’t worry.” I said softly and a little smile drew across his face. He then pulled me closer and placed a kiss on my forehead.

“You know that I’ll always be here for you, right?” Dad asked and I nodded confidently. “You can call me anytime too, okay?”

“I will, dad. You take care.” I answered and smiled sweetly.

That was his cue to engulf me again in his arms and embrace me. Then I heard him whisper, “I love you, dear Natalie.”

Hearing those words immediately made my eyes teary but I did my best to control it or else will miss our flight.

Brian took over after and I felt his hand on my arm. “Let’s go.”

We barely took steps when he stopped walking causing me to stop too. I turned around and saw my dad was holding unto Brian’s shoulder on his other side.

“Make sure my daughter is well taken care of, young man.” He said sternly, looking intently at Brian.

“Yes, sir.” Brian answered, unfazed. And with a curt nod, Dad let go of him.

“See you both soon!” Tita Lorie added which made the situation a little lighter and I just waved my hand at them as we entered the car.

I sighed and continued looking out the window until I heard a soft curse beside me.

“Will you stop sighing?!” Brian finally exclaimed which broke the silence.

“Huh?” I blurted out as I turned to him.

“You’ve been sighing beside me ever since we left the mansion. And I can’t quite tolerate it anymore!” He replied quite loudly which startled me for a bit.

“Sorry. I didn’t know I was doing it a lot.” I stated right away which made him glare at me before putting his eyes back on the road.

Then silence enveloped us once more as it began to darken outside. I checked the time and it’s already around 6 in the evening. We should be reaching our destination soon.

***

We’re now inside a small cabin which is surrounded by the beauty of nature outside. The interior is wooden, cozy and refreshing. We will be spending a whole week in this place and I’m a bit excited about exploring the surroundings in the next few days. I then turned to Brian. I watched him open the door and stepping into the only room in that cabin with his luggage.

“This is the only room in this house so we’ll share. Whether you come in or not is up to you.” I heard him say from the inside of the room. Then he popped his head from the door and asked, “Or would you rather spend the night out there? You can tell me now.”

“I…I’ll share.” I answered and sighed before going inside.

There he stood with both of his hands on his pocket, observing me as I pulled my luggage in, bringing it to the side. Meeting his gaze, I gulped the lump on my throat and smiled hesitantly.

“Don’t smile at me like that because I’m convinced that you knew about this honeymoon trip all along.” He suddenly commented.

“I swear I didn’t. I’m just as surprised as you are.” I said right away and he scoffed almost immediately.

“And what makes you think I’ll believe your lies?” He dared and my feelings were automatically hurt.

Great. He sees me as a liar.

“See? Now, you’re silent once again. I wouldn’t be surprised if there would be more ridiculous things such as this afterwards.” He added.

I just sighed and calmed myself. I realized that we would be living with each other and it wouldn’t be good if we’re always fighting. I would have to endure for now and maybe after his anger subsides then we’ll have better conversations.

“Everything about this is just stupid and ridiculous! And you…” He continued as he pointed his finger on me, his eyes glaring, breath unsteady. “If I didn’t hate you before, well then you must know that I hate you now. You ruined everything!”

With that he walked past me and the next thing I heard was the bathroom door getting slammed closed. I let out a sigh as I sat on the edge of the bed and finally cried.

He hates me now.

He hates me.

I have already expected that all of this would happen.

But why does it still hurt so bad?

***

I carefully made my way to the bedroom while holding a tray of food in my hands. I wasn’t able to sleep comfortably last night as Brian’s presence at the other side of the bed quite troubled me. I mean, we were both at the opposite sides of the bed but still, I’m not used to it yet. He slept on the couch on our wedding night and so it was literally our second night together as a married couple. As soon as the time turned 6 in the morning, I got up and decided to make a hearty breakfast. After cooking, I placed his portion on the tray and decided to leave mine in the kitchen. I’m sure he’s still angry and wouldn’t want to eat with me.

Placing the tray at the small table near the window, I turned to see him still soundly sleeping. Quietly, I made my way towards him. Then I waved a hand over his face to make sure that he is really asleep. After he made no move, I sighed and cautiously kneeled at his side and stared at his face. Staring at him this close, I had to admit that I actually miss the conversations and messages and calling we shared these past few days way before Joanna came back.

Joanna. I wonder what happened to her.

Did Brian tell her about marrying me?

Maybe not. I don’t think our wedding would have pushed through if she knew about it.

I may not know her thoroughly but her actions in the past and what we saw a few days’ back is somehow enough for me to know that I don’t really like her. Then I slightly brushed Brian’s hair away from his forehead.

“What do you want, Joanna?” I asked right away after she cornered me at the end of the ladies’ washroom of the hotel where the company anniversary is being held.

She suddenly grinned but this time, she didn’t hide the animosity she had for me. I can see it clearly in her eyes now. She dropped her angelic features that I’d usually see on her whenever she’s with Brian.

“I’m not stupid, girl. I know everyone in this whole place including Brian’s parents sees you as his fiancé.” She scoffed and sharply looked at me from head to toe. “Do you really think he will marry you? Someone like you? Do you really think he will just accept his mom’s wishes and marry you just because they said so?”

“And what right do you have to tell me all this and question me about all this?” I dared, thought deep inside me, I already knew the answers to her questions.

Joanna suddenly laughed and looked at me mockingly while shaking her head. “Poor you. I can actually question you up to my heart’s content. In fact, I have every right to do so because I’m not only his girlfriend now. I am Brian’s real fiancé!”

My eyes widened and I felt my knees weakened as she held up her left hand and showed me her beautiful diamond ring.

“Yes. That’s right! You see this ring? It’s mine and I said yes when he officially proposed to me a few days ago.” She continued and my eyes immediately watered upon knowing the truth.

He truly loves her and not me. Or else, why would he officially propose to her when he knows too well that he already have a fiancé? I am his fiancé. The fiancé he never wanted ever since. Tears pooled my eyes and it got blurry but I tried my best to control it.

I will never cry in front of this woman.

“So I’m warning you, Natalie. Stop fantasizing about my man because he is mine and he will never be yours!” She added with an angry glare then she started walking away.

Opening the door, she turned to me once more.

“Go and find a toy for yourself and don’t try to snatch mine.”

“Brian is not a toy.” I commented and faced her squarely.

“Is he not? Well maybe not for you. But you see, even his manipulative mother sees him as such. Brian go here, Brian go there. Like a toy.” She remarked and my ears turned red upon hearing her insults.

“Take back what you said. Tita Lorie loves Brian! She doesn’t deserve your insults!” I slightly yelled, my whole body trembling.

From feeling miserable, hearing her say those words about Brian and to Tita Lorie, two of the people I love the most, anger filled me.

“Whatever. I’m entitled to my own opinion. And your Tita Lorie is a b*tch!” She added and chuckled sardonically which made my blood boil. Then she began to walk away. “She’s a pathetic motherwh*re b*tch!”

In an instant, I found myself grabbing her arm so I can stop her from walking. And without thinking, I slapped her hard as soon as she turned to me.

“Natalie!” A booming voice yelled not too far from us and I was pulled away from Joanna immediately.

The latter cried as Brian engulfed her with his warm embrace.

“She slapped me.” Joanna said in between her sobs and I turned white by the second.

Never in my life did I ever lose control of myself like that and I know it wasn’t right to slap her but I just couldn’t take her words. It was okay for her to tell me those words because I know I deserved it. However, hearing her call Brian her toy and those insults for Tita Lorie made me lose control.

“Let me see. It’s okay. I’m here now. She can’t hurt you anymore.” Brian cooed as he brushed his hand on her back. Then he looked straight at me and his jaw clenched.

His eyes were burning with anger and I knew I screwed up.

“I was just telling her to stop telling people that she’s your fiancé because I’m hurt.” Joanna continued and looked at Brian.

“What do you mean?” He asked, wiping her tears away.

“I told her about your proposal and showed her the ring you gave me and she got mad.” What she told him was half-truth half-lie.

“That wasn’t-“ I tried to interrupt.

“Shut up!” He yelled straight to my face and I was frozen in my place.

“Brian, she said she will make sure I wouldn’t be married to you because she owns you and that you will eventually marry her.” Joanna continued.

“Liar! I never said that!” I yelled.

Brian then gently put her aside and dangerously walked towards me. Grabbing both of my arms tightly, he looked straight at my eyes with blazing anger. “You. Don’t. Own. Me.”

“Brian, I never-“ I tried to explain once more.

“I will never marry you. And tonight I will make sure that it will never happen. 101% sure.” Brian declared loudly, drowning all the words I wanted to say.

Then he pushed me harshly, making me fall with a loud thud. With that, he made his words true. That same night, he announced his engagement and upcoming wedding with Joanna.

I sighed before wiping a tear drop on my cheek. Every time I think about that very night, it still feels like a thousand knives were poking every corner of my being. No wonder I never moved on, because I’ve never even forgotten a single memory that I had with Brian in it.

Looking back at Brian’s sleeping face, I smiled bitterly.

It’s all in the past.

I am your wife now. And you married me.

Do you know how happy I am right now because you agreed to marry me?

Joanna already had your heart, then and now, but she took it for granted.

But if you give me the chance to own it now, Brian, I will take good care of it.

Because I love you.

***