First Blood: The Perfect Mistress

CHAPTER 7

Keith’s question echoed around the walls of my chic home office. No, it didn’t just echo. It kept on repeating itself until my head almost burst in pain. Then every single word from my mother’s diary came to all at once.

I was terrified but I couldn’t stop memorizing all the dates and details in her little journal. I slapped my head while hoping that it would stop but it didn’t, then words came out of my mouth even when I tried to keep them in.

February 10, 2012

Dear Diary,

I hoped that my daughter didn’t notice how I watched him go up to the second floor where our bedroom was located. I needed to bite my bottom lip to prevent myself from crying. Deep in my heart, I could feel that he hid something from me.

I finished my meal in a hurry and followed him to our bedroom. He was busy with his phone. I wanted to ask what’s keeping him busy but I didn’t want to offend Lance.

I aimed for the closet and arranged our clothes to keep myself busy or he would think I’m spying on him. While my hands were occupied, my brain was also busy, thinking for the reason of his changes. Although it was subtle and less obvious, I could feel his indifference each day.

It hurts. It really hurts.

I did nothing to hurt him. In fact, I gave him everything for sixteen years that we’re together and I didn’t ask anything in return. I did it because of love. When it’s about our finances, he had nothing to worry about. When it comes to s*x, I could say I did my best. I even watched several tutorials on how to be good at twerking because he loved it. I needed to learn a lot of skills in bed to satisfy his needs. I did all of that for him!

But why?

It was around ten in the evening when I joined him in bed, and he was already asleep or pretended to be asleep just to keep me away. Lately, he was annoyed every time I asked him to make love to me. Yes, it’s me who asked, like what the f**k?

I was Adrianna Jones before I marry him, the most eligible woman during my time, and my father could buy the entire Keiraville from Montenegro’s. However, Lance made me grovel for attention and I couldn’t forgive him for humiliating me!

As I lay beside him, his messenger kept on beeping, and I was almost tempted to check who messaged him at night. I tried to sleep but how could I? My eyes were closed but my brain wasn’t! It was wide awake!

I waited until I heard his steady breathing, then I checked his phone under the quilt.  

My mouth gaped open when I couldn’t c***k the screen lock! I gave up or his phone would be locked, then he would blame it on me. Stealthily, I returned it to the side table and forced myself to sleep.

When I wake up in the morning, he was already gone, and I longed for his presence beside me. I smelled the blanket he used and I felt like the most pitiful woman in the world! I smiled bitterly at the obvious display of disrespect!

February 11, 2012

Dear Diary,

I just couldn’t trust him anymore! I knew he’s cheating! He was careful with his affair but I had connections and someone reported his escapade with Rachel, his ex-girlfriend. Temporarily, I was shocked that my suspicions were accurate. I was taken aback at his boldness! I rescued him from being broke when his family’s business slowly crumbled due to recession, and yet, he dared to backstab me! It’s unforgivable!    

He was crazy for betraying me and I was crazy for marrying him! For sixteen years, he didn’t give me anything! He didn’t even treat me with a dinner or lunch to somewhere fancy, or even to fast food! He just didn’t do anything to me and it should have been the sign!

I felt like…wow…seriously? No, it couldn’t go on…forever! The humiliation has to stop! I failed to see the kind of man I was married into and he had to …leave! I confronted him when Cassie went to school.

“You lied about Rachel,” I told him while we’re having refreshments at the rooftop. “Why did you lie about her?”

“Honey, can we just talk about something else?”

Lance was uncomfortable when we talked about Rachel and he asked to change our topic but I refused to drop the topic about his affair. At that moment, I gave him the chance to choose me over Rachel. It was pathetic but I couldn’t make a move yet! “Leave her,” I ordered.

“She’s pregnant…with my child!” He admitted the most horrible truth but I managed to control my emotions. I smiled even if I felt like dying inside!

“I have to be with her while she’s pregnant. After that, I’ll come back to you and we can start anew, go somewhere else where no one knew us,” he replied and suggested living somewhere else.

As always, it’s all about him! He didn’t even consider that our daughter would have a hard time adjusting to the changes, and he failed at the test I gave him when he asked me to compromise for his mistress.

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

I glared at him and he balled his fist as if he’s going to hit me! As if the physical pain would match the emotional pain and trauma he caused me! I smirked at my husband when he couldn’t hit me and it frustrated him.

“Rachel is kind, Adrianna. She’s warm and compassionate to me but you, you’re always busy with your business!”

My blood reached the maximum boiling point at the comparison. “How dare you!” I slapped him real hard.

“This is the last time, I’m going to say it, Lance. Leave her or suffer the consequences of my wrath,” I warned him.

Lance nodded and looked at my eyes when he made a promise to leave her. A promise he didn’t keep!   

What the f**k was wrong with him? I just couldn’t understand why he suddenly bailed on me. My heart was torn into little pieces, and my pride was the same! 

February 11, 2012

Dear Diary,

My husband came home with a bouquet of my favorite flower after meeting his mistress. I was insulted that I came in second. I was no longer his priority, and I was no longer his number one. It hurts!

“Is this a peace offering?” I asked him but instead of responding to my question, he grabbed my waist and embraced me tightly.

Before I could resist, he already captured my mouth and it was game over! He carried me into our bedroom and as soon as he closed the door, we were into each other. Grabbing each other’s buttocks, and touching every inch of our bodies. Soon, our clothes scattered on the floor.

I missed him so much that I was willing to do everything to make him happy! Once again, I became wild at his lovemaking and serviced him with my hands, my mouth, and everything I got.

When he returned the favor and pleasured me with his mouth, all the doubts I had suddenly vanished. Was it because of s*x? Was it the only thing I want from him?  Rachel must have lost her charisma or he wouldn’t be so horny.

I didn’t know anymore.

His kisses burned the walls I put to guard myself. His touch ignited the wanton woman inside me, and I couldn’t deny my body with the pleasure I would get from Lance. He’s a skilled lover and with just his fingers, I almost reached the peak of o****m!

Later on, I was on top of him, and his hands groped my breast when I sheathed his sword. It had been so long for me and I wanted him so much. As my body rocked around his hardness, he whimpered in pleasure. 

When I stared at his eyes, the sensual desire was written on it, and it ignited my passion even more.  I placed one of my palms into his chest, while the other was on his muscular thighs to balance myself while I wiggled my hips around his erection.

Suddenly, he sat up, and let me saddle on him. The penetration was deeper and I could feel the tightening of my muscles around him. He felt it too! When I arched my back far from him to feel the sensation even better, his mouth covered one of my breasts and tickled my n****e with his tongue.

I moaned heavily, and he did the same. We were both loud I was worried that Cassie would hear us.

“I love you hon,” I whispered but he didn’t respond. When I checked on him, he was already asleep.

February 18, 2012

 Dear Diary,

It’s the seventh day that he didn’t come home. I tried to call him several times because our daughter was admitted to the hospital due to fever and some infections. My heart bled every time I think about him who’s probably with Rachel at the moment.

When Cassie and I got home, she requested her favorite food: a roasted pig or Lechon. I asked the driver to get it for her while I prepared the fresh pineapple juice. Cassie was in her bedroom and she would just wait for me to call her.

Then, my phone beeped. The message came from Lance and cold shivers ran through my veins as I read his message. He asked for some space. A call-off! Out of anger and pain, I threw my phone into the nearest wall. Good thing, it wasn’t broken because I had some questions for him. My hands trembled as I typed the message.

“Why?” It’s just a one-word question but it took him an hour to respond.

“I just need some space,” he replied.

“You should have worked at NASA,” I jested but tears began to fall when I sent him the message.

I was mad and hurt at the same time because he asked to be set free via phone. It’s humiliating!

I drank the fresh juice I made for Cassie while examining my thoughts. Then, I went to the sink and washed my face with cold water. I didn’t want to cry and looked silly but tears automatically fall, and I had to wash my face several times.

I had to call him!

I needed to!

I called him several times and as soon as he picked up my call, I asked him, “Don’t you love me anymore?” My voice cracked a little, I knew it but who cares?

“Please don’t be so dramatic this time, Adrianna. I only needed some space,” he said.

“Is that all you want? Okay fine, I’ll give it to you,” I agreed even if it was killing me inside. I loved him so much and if he needed some space, I would give it to him.

That was cool, I thought. However, it required a lot of courage to give him space. I laughed like crazy, then I stared into nothingness and cried my heart out. It was the most unforgettable moment of my existence, and the person who caused me extreme sadness should be cursed.

For a moment, I felt empty, and I blamed myself for what happened.

Maybe, I was a control freak around him.

Maybe, I hurt his ego for having a greater income.

Maybe, my love wasn’t enough.

Maybe, I was boring in bed.

For the nth time, I asked myself where I went wrong. I gave him everything! I did everything to make him, but in the end, my efforts weren’t enough, and he was disappointed.

February 21, 2012,

Dear Diary,

For two days, I did nothing. As much as I wanted to ask every question in my head, I chose to be quiet about it. I was scared to lose him forever! At night, I wanted to cry but I couldn’t do it or my daughter would notice the puffiness of my eyes in the morning.

Part of me already died, and I thought to give up. However, there’s Cassie and she needed me. 

February 25, 2012

Dear Diary,

I resumed working to keep myself busy but it was difficult. It was challenging to meet our common friends in the hall of Anderson Tower. I and Lance conjugally owned the building according to the papers. However, Lance didn’t spend even a single centavo when it was built. Now, that he wanted some space, I was worried that he would ask me to divide our properties. We had no prenuptial agreement, and it would be unfair to me and Cassie!

No, I couldn’t allow him to take what was never his in the beginning. By all means, I should protect whatever belongs to me and my daughter. He shouldn’t consider taking it from me or he would suffer the consequences. Currently, the building was valued at 350M and I’m not stupid to let him and Rachel enjoyed the fruits of my investment!

Never!

It wouldn’t matter anymore if my world has crumbled because of his affair. As the days passed by, I came to realize that our brain was far more superior to our heart. However, if the heart suffered a sudden blow, everything lost its meaning!

February 26, 2012

I tried to be cool about our separation but when Cassie asked her father’s whereabouts, I was stunned. I was speechless! At that moment, I realized that I couldn’t let him go no matter what! My daughter needed him more than I do.

So I sent him a message!

I saw him typing a response then he stopped. I waited for almost thirty minutes and I assumed that it was a long message to apologize. 

“I’m already happy with Rachel,” he said and I couldn’t believe and re-read the message at least a hundred times or until it sinks into me. Then another message came that says he’s sorry.

 He apologized but I couldn’t accept it!

I looked up at the ceiling and blinked my eyes to stop the tears from coming out, but they still flowed abundantly. Tears blurred my vision but I used to be a keyboard warrior and begged him to reconsider his decision.

“Let’s break up, Adrianna.”

I covered my face with my hands and cried until my eyes became dry.

No more tears.

Just hatred for the man I considered to be my world!

“Did you ever love me?” I asked because I refused to believe that the love we shared for years vanished into thin air instantly.

“Yes, I did. I also don’t know what happened, but one day, I woke up, and I don’t love you anymore. I used to love you so much and you know that” he replied.

“Bullshit, Lance! Do you take me as a fool? True love would never fade, and you also know that. No, you didn’t love me, you’re just comfortable with me, or the kind of life I can give you.”  I told him before enumerating the comforts he enjoyed while he’s with me. It was childish, I knew, but I was suffering because of his betrayal.

“If I didn’t love you, we will not be together for several years,” he reasoned out.

I smirked at his response because seriously, all these years, Lance was seldom home and I had to lie to Cassie about his non-existent conference or forum somewhere far away. For a few minutes, we exchanged harsh words.

I blamed myself, I blamed him, and then I blamed Rachel!

February 27, 2012

Dear Diary,

I woke up feeling empty without Lance by my side. Supposedly, I should get used to it but it’s not that easy! As soon as I opened my eyes, I searched for my phone and immediately typed a message for Lance.

I apologized for the harsh words I said to him last night. I stooped so low and called his mobile number. I thought he wouldn’t pick up but he did, and I was excited to hear his voice again.

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk anymore,” he said.

“No way! There will be no major changes in our relationship aside from that the fact that you don’t love me anymore.”

He laughed, and my heart bled once again. I knew what I was doing. I wanted him back so I swallowed my pride. Lance and I agreed to be in an open relationship. I asked him for it. It felt like I groveled on his feet and begged him to come home. I didn’t care anymore! I wanted him back and I was willing to compromise.

However, things got complicated when I saw Rachel’s status on social media. How did I know Rachel?  She worked with Lance as his secretary but I just learned that they used to be lovers. She created an account in my husband’s name. Can you imagine how she insulted me?

The profile was public and everyone could leave a comment so I leave one of mine after seeing her post that she wanted to live a happy and stress-free life.  I balled my fist before typing my comment. It was a little mean, but I was entitled to be mean to her! 

Lance saw my comment and became furious. He defended Rachel.

“Please stop harassing her!” He said and I cried.

April 22, 2012

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while! However, I can’t seem to write these days. I’m super busy with paper works. I had to secure everything for my daughter, and to hell with Lance. About the annulment papers? Hmmm, I decided not to give Rachel the chance to feel that she’s the winner. She could rot in poverty along with Lance because he wouldn’t get anything from me!

June 2, 2012

Dear Diary,

I am so happy today because my plan works and he comes home! Isn’t that amazing? I have to go. Gonna cook something special for dinner!

June 5, 2012

Dear Diary,

I’m so confused right now. He’s physically home but mentally absent. I thought that his relationship with Rachel was over. I was wrong. Last night, I heard him talking to her on the phone. The wind was unusually chilly but he stayed on the rooftop. He held the phone in his right hand, and the other has a cigarette. I spied on him, and then I saw how happy he was while talking with Rachel.

June 13, 2012

Dear Diary,

I confronted him about it. He lied to my face. What a scoundrel!

Maybe it’s time to stop this nonsense! So, with an attitude of I don’t care who I lose anymore, I talked with him about it. He was angry when I called Rachel as his mistress, a homewrecker and a slut. 

“Did you really expect me to be kind to her? Not in this life or the next!” For the first time, I shouted at my husband, and he was shocked to see that the refine Adrianna Jones – Anderson knew how to fight with words!

“Please…just stop it! What’s wrong with you? Rachel didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me who wanted her back and pursued her. It’s all on me, Adrianna!”

“How dare you!” The slap must be painful because he glared at me after that.   

“I’ll stay until your birthday, after that, we shouldn’t talk anymore. No, don’t cry honey, because you’ll be wasting your tears. You just don’t know how Rachel convinced me to reconcile with you,” he said.

“And you believe that b***h? You’re as crazy as her! If she really wanted us to reconcile, then she wouldn’t entertain an asshole like you! Go ahead, be happy with her, but please be informed that I’d rather cut my hand than signing the annulment papers! Rachel will forever be your mistress, Lance! Don’t you forget that!”

“I tried but I just can’t love you anymore. You’re mean and vicious. This is my warning to you. Stop harassing her, stop talking to me, just stop and don’t do anything!”

He chose Rachel over me.

It hurts.

“Go on. I can love myself better than you do,” I tried to salvage my pride for the last time.

June 20, 2012

Dear Diary,

The hurtful words he said to me were embedded into my memory and no matter how hard I tried to forget it, I could still hear it. True to his words, he didn’t leave and stay with us. He promised to stay until my birthday for Cassie’s sake, that’s what he said.

One morning, I insisted to our housekeeper that I should be the one cooking. I needed something to keep me occupied and doing chores would be a good diversion. Then he came into the kitchen, and my heart raced like crazy.

“Morning hon,” I greeted him like usual.

“Just call me Lance starting today,” he announced and I arched my eyebrows at his sudden changes.

I was hurt but I couldn’t let him know that. I couldn’t let him know that I was dying inside. “Sure if you say so,” I agreed. “Why are you here?”

“Let’s sell the house,” he replied.

“Why?”

“It’s just right to dispose of it,” he replied and I nodded.

“I see, but it’s going to be difficult to dispose of it right now, you know the market. Do you really have to go this far?”

 “I have no choice. You hurt her, and that hurt me too. We can’t continue being like this, Adrianna.” He explained in a shaky voice. It must have been hard to choose Rachel over his family but he made a choice.

“Honey…,” my voice shook a little while trying not to cry. However, his words felt so heavy in my heart.

“Don’t call me that anymore,” he reminded me.

I could no longer control the sobs from escaping my mouth. I shook my head and refused to heed his reminder. “No, I’m used to it, “I said but I cried so much that I choke on my words.

“Don’t cry. I don’t like you to cry. After all, it’s your fault.”

July 14, 2012

Dear Diary,

It’s my birthday today and he never greeted me! Well, it shouldn’t matter anymore. I decided that on my special day, I will end everything with Lance. I may have a shortcoming as a wife, but dear, I knew I did everything I could in my power to satisfy him and to make him happy.

I loved him so much and he was my world. Everything revolved around him and it has to stop. 

I need to live in the present.

I know it’s going to be challenging especially when I lived with for sixteen years but I’m sure I can manage. I know myself better than anyone else and there’s Cassie, she’s going to be the anchor of my strength.

  I’m not the only woman who lost a husband to a mistress. There were others and if they managed to rebuild themselves, I believe that I can also do it.

I need to put some credit to my self-confidence and self-esteem during the process. At first, I felt insecure towards the other woman, but it’s no longer the case.  

Love, Lies, and betrayal could be experienced accordingly. I should have never settled for less. All this time, my parents were right that my relationship with Lance wouldn’t last long because I loved him more than he loved me. They said that it should be the man who should love more in a relationship and I learned it the hard way. 

After a moment of realization, I took a deep breath and proceed to the rooftop with a cup of coffee in my hand.

I know that he’s at the rooftop too!

“Cassie! Cassie! What’s wrong with you? Hey!”

He grabbed my shoulders and shook me to return to the present, but my mind was empty and I just stared at him. Then, I blinked. I knew I blinked my eyes. I could tell from the movement of his mouth that he’s talking to me but I can’t speak a single word!

“Cassie! Hey! What’s wrong?”

I tried…but it’s difficult. Then I saw him moved towards me, and I was terrified, but his warm embrace touched my heart deeply, and I began to breathe again.

“Shhhh…,” he whispered while trying to comfort me.

I was touched but I couldn’t tell anyone about the incident that happened some years ago in our residence. I wished I could, but no, it’s impossible. The secret would be buried along with me on my grave and it’s a promise!