The new reality
1556 Words
Namiko
With as much strength as I could muster, I dash out, running as hard as I can, barefoot away from my room. Away from where that monster wouldn’t find me! How could this have happened to me? I am his daughter! His wife’s daughter.
That had just happened! I had just woken up to my stepfather and the alpha of the Darkmoon pack having his way with me.
Never have I thought my first time would happen against my will, never have I thought this would happen to me. My head started to ring in my head. I have been tainted. No one would see me worthy now! Oh my God! Ethan will see me as worthless! I feel dirty. I scratched my neck and my body as I ran as if they would erase the way I was feeling at the moment! The dirt, the contempt I began to feel, I didn't notice the stones beneath my feet until I was well outside of my house.
What should I do? Is he coming behind me? Was he drunk? Did someone put him to it? Oh No! I don't want to think about the grunts of that sick man all over me as he was having s*x with me!
Oh my God! My mother! She would be devastated! She would kill herself if she ever found out about this!
Who do I tell? Who do I speak about this to? As these thoughts ran through my brain, I knew I had to find Ethan!
My hands were immediately starting to get cold, the night was cold and it felt even colder because the only feeling enveloping me now is the loneliness and devastating feeling of being alone in this world. Like someone who is supposed to protect me and every young person in this pack has been used by the devil himself to assault me!
I cannot forgive myself for ever allowing this to happen to me. I am forever damaged! No one would ever look at me the same again. How could I have been so stupid not to have noticed? This has obviously been happening for a while now. Is this why I have been so out of it?
Although it would have taken me fifteen minutes to run to Ethan’s building, I think it has taken me only about five minutes to find myself at his front door.
I hung onto his front door with my remaining dignity, banging it as much as I could. I don't want to know if the alpha is coveting somewhere or if he is trying to find me right now. Ethan has to know everything, he has to know that the leader of our pack is not to be trusted. Ethan ought to know the man he worships is a devil. He seems like the only person I can tell this to, the only person who can be as mad as me as of now.
“Namiko?” I heard his voice before I saw him. “What are you doing here?” He asked, as he slowly opened the door for me. There was no illumination! Of course, he must have been sleeping just as he said.
He was going to get an early start because of tomorrow.
“Ethan! We have to leave! Take me away from here! Take me far away! I cannot stay here anymore. Please!” I jumped into his chest, holding onto him with all my might. My safe haven, my love. Even more than anything, I want him to believe me. I want him to keep me safe, so I don't say anything for the first few minutes. It seems like a sense of calm comes over me.
“Namiko, I asked you a question. What are you doing here?” Ethan said to me, but instead of the loving tone of voice I should get from him, especially since I was acting so distressed, he seemed to be getting impatient. I can’t see his facial expression but I know, I know he is very angry that I was there in his room.
“Can we talk inside, Ethan? I am freezing”
“We are not going anywhere, I asked a question! What are you doing here when you should be on your bed sleeping?” he snapped, never have I seen him react this way. I immediately regretted my decision to come here in the first place. Ethan always knew had to react in situations, any situation at all. But now what I knew seemed to be different. He was snapping at me.
“Won't you ask me what is wrong with me? Is there a reason why I should not be here?” I asked, unable to understand the sudden behavior.
“What about the alpha? Where is he?”
“The alpha? Why are you asking about the alpha?” My eyebrows constricted. Aren't you worried about what's wrong with me?”
My voice trembled as I pulled away from his embrace slightly. I looked up at him in the darkness, his face was unreadable, but his body was rigid and his grip on my arm too tight.
“I came to you because something terrible happened…” I began, unable to control my sob. “....the alpha, he– he – I found him.. he was” I stuttered, unable to say the words.
Saying the words out loud made it feel worse, feel real.
Ethan's silence persisted and his grip on my arm loosened but he didn't embrace me like I expected, didn't spout words of reassurance as I expected.
“Are you sure about this Nami?” His voice was finally filled with doubt when he finally spoke.
I jerked back as if he'd struck me.
“I mean- it's a serious accusation. Are you sure you aren't dreaming again?”
“Dreaming? A dream?” I was stunned.
My stomach turned violently. My body still ached from the aftermath of the atrocities that the monster committed against me. My mind replayed Ethan's words. How could he even suggest I was dreaming?!
Tears burned my eyes once more but I refused to let them fall.
“You don't believe me?” I asked, meeting his gaze.
“Namiko, listen to me” he started attempting to hold me but I stepped back. He continued speaking still.
“It's not that I don't believe you. But it's the Alpha. You could get killed for accusing him without evidence.”
“Then what do I do? What do you expect me to do? Pretend nothing happened? Pretend I didn't wake up to him defiling me?”
He sighed.
“Ethan, we need to get out of here. Take me away from here”
He ran his hand through his hair, exhaling. “This is dangerous, Nami. We can't run, he'll find us”
His words slashed through my skin like knives. I ran to him for safety but instead of reassuring me, he was telling me that I couldn't escape.
“Fine. I'll leave by myself if you won't take me”
Ethan's expression darkened. He looked chilly and scary in a way I had never seen before.
I stepped back.
“Nami, calm down. I think you're rushing and you're not giving this a proper thought” he said softening his voice.
Ethan looked calm, way too calm for someone who just found out his girlfriend, the love of his life, was getting defiled.
Something about this felt off. He doesn't even look the least bit surprised. Unless- he isn't.
“Ethan. You knew?”
“Knew what?” He questioned, raising his brow.
“You knew about the Alpha- my stepfather- assaulting me”
Silence.
A sick realization twisted my stomach.
His silence only meant one thing- confirmation.
Ethan wasn't surprised or outraged or furious nor did he try to help me. Because he knew.
He started to move closer to me “Don't you f*****g come near me, because I will kill you” I know the sudden sadness on his face is not because he cares for me, it's because he has been caught. I must have been so desperate for love.
“How long?” I asked, dreading the reply he gave me.
“Only since I got back from my trip!”
“Oh God! I wanted my first time to be beautiful! You. . . You. . . Took that choice away from me!” The tears burning at the back of my head have started to fall now. I almost didn't see clearly.
“Oh come on! Don't act like a f*****g saint! You wanted it! You cried like a f*****g slut about it every day! You wanted it and you got it. Just shut up and accept it. He Is the Alpha! He has a lot to offer you”
“He is my stepfather! My mother’s husband! And you. . “ No, I shook my head violently, there was no use explaining to him. He is not the man I knew and loved.
I turned and bolted out the door. I have to get away. I couldn't run to anyone, I had no one to run to.
Then I knew, I was really alone.
- Writer
