PS: Don't Love Me

Chapter 4

YANA

DAY 6

"Sabi mo kanina, it's just a lame date tulad ng mga na-experience mo noon. Eh bakit parang hindi ka mapakali dyan?" natigil ako sa pagpili ng isusuot when I heard Ate Yumi.

"What are you talking about? I'm just trying to choose kung ano yung bagay na damit para mamaya."I tried to sound normal kahit I was really stressed dahil kanina pa ako hindi makapili ng damit na isusuot. Bakit ba ganito yung mga damit ko?

"Yeah. At mukhang lahat ng damit sa closet mo, nandyan na sa labas." ayan na naman yung teasing tone na lagi nyang ginagamit sa akin. What kind of cousin is she? Bakit hindi na lang nya ako suportahan dito para makuha ko na agad yung kotse ko? Yeah, para sa kotse lahat ng 'to.

I shrugged.

"I just want to see all my clothes." palusot ko pa. "I want to donate yung mga clothes na hindi ko na masyadong ginagamit." really, Yana? Yun yung naisip mo? You're lame.

And tulad ng inaasahan ko, narinig kong tumawa ng malakas si Ate Yumi.

"Really? Kelan ka pa nagdonate ng mga luma mong damit? Masyado kang selfish, Yana. Ayaw mo na may ibang gumagamit ng mga bagay na sa'yo." see? She knows me so well.

"Well. I'm a changed person." syempre, ayokong magpatalo.

Tumango naman sya pero tulad noon, halatang hindi naman sya naniniwala.

"If that's true, well, I think, I have to thank Sofia dahil sa pagbabago mong yan. Pagpatuloy mo yan. Maganda yan. Pasasaan ba at marerealize mo na tama pala kami na kahit papa'no, marunong ka din naman magmahal." I glared at her. Bakit na naman nya ginamit yung salitang yon? Why can't just they accept the fact that I am not in love with this girl.

But instead of confirming nor denying, I just sighed and focus on what particular clothes will I be wearing for this LAME date.

"I think, mas bagay sa'yo yung black na dress na yon." sabay turo nya dun sa isang dress na nasa may pinakadulo ng kama.

Hmmm. Not bad. I nodded and thanked her before trying it on. She's right. This dress really suits me well.

After an hour, I took one look in the mirror, making sure that everything is perfect. Well, I know that I am always perfect but, sometimes, it's okay to look in the mirror to check.

I almost admire the beauty that I am currently looking at.

"Wow Yana, you look hot." I smirked while talking to my reflection in the mirror. Sino ba namang hindi magkakagusto sa babaeng nasa harap ko?

"Alyana, kapag tapos ka na dyan na purihin yung sarili mo, baka pwede ka nang umalis dahil it's almost 7pm na. Diba, 7pm mo susunduin si Sofia?" Oh my God!

When I checked the time, it's quarter to 7pm. Shoot!

I immediately took my keys and run to my car and didn't mind if I was wearing heels. Why did I forget about the time? Nakakahiya. Late ako sa first date namin. UGH!

***

"I'm sorry, I'm late." I told Sofia when I saw her waiting on their front porch. She just smiled and nodded.

I was dumbfounded when she stood up. How can a girl be this beautiful? I could see that she's saying something but I was focusing on how her lips were saying those words. Yana, don't look at her lips. Don't, just don't. Hindi ba alam ni Sofia Ilustre kung gaano ako nagpipigil na halikan sya? Gods! Sinasabi ko na nga ba, mali 'to eh. Mali na niyaya ko syang magdate. Should I back out? I could tell her that I'm not feeling well, right?

"Lopez?" she asked while waving her hand.

"Your lips are so soft and they're inviting me to kiss them." I said with a dreamy tone while still looking at her lips.

She gave me an amused smile and that's when I realized what I just told her. What the f*ck?! Can I just turn around and leave? Bakit ba ako laging gumagawa ng katangahan? Yung mga bagay na alam kong magmumukha akong tanga. Kill me now, please.

"What did you say?" she asked me while still smiling.

I furiously shook my head. I can't say that again. Nakakahiya. Baka isipin nya na I'm some kind of pervert or something.

"N-nevermind. Let's uh, let's go?" ganyan nga Yana, magstutter ka. Konti na lang, matuturn-off na talaga sya sa'yo.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked me and her voice was full of concern.

No, I am not okay because I can't look at your lips without thinking of kissing them. Of course, nasa isip ko lang yon. Hindi ko kayang sabihin sa kanya yon. Quota na ako sa pagpapahiya sa sarili ko.

"Uh, yeah. Of course." I nodded and smiled at her. "So, can we go now?" I asked her again.

She smiled and let me escort her to my car.

"Btw, you--uh, you look good." I told her when we were inside and I was trying to open my stereo para hindi naman tahimik habang nagbabyahe. I'm not sure if makakapagsalita kasi ako.

"Thanks, Lopez. You, too." nakangiting sabi naman nya sa akin kaya napasmile din ako. At least, nagbunga yung matagal kong pag-aayos diba?

"Uh-thanks." I told her habang nakatingin sa daan dahil medyo maingat yung pagdadrive ko ngayon. I cannot be reckless dahil kasama ko si Sofia.

"Oh, by the way, my lips just whispered and told me that they're indeed soft and you can try them if you want to." I suddenly hit the brake and looked at her with a shocked expression. Was she--uh, Was Sofia Ilustre flirting with me? Oh My God.

Then I heard her laughing hysterically beside me.

"You should've seen your face, Lopez." of course, she was kidding. But why am I disappointed? Bakit parang mas gusto kung totoo ngang nakikipagflirt sya sa akin?

Naiiling na ipinagpatuloy ko na lang yung pagdadrive ko.

"Sus, pasalamat ka maganda ka. Pwede kitang pagbigyan don." mahinang sabi ko pero narinig ko syang tumawa ulit.

"Salamat." ugh! Of course, nakakaintindi sya ng tagalog. Anak nga ng Presidente ng Pilipinas diba? "And for the record, you're prettier." sabi pa nya sabay kindat pa sa akin pero nagkunwari akong hindi ako naapaketuhan sa sinabi nya at pinagpatuloy yung pagdadrive.

Oh Sofia, you're driving me crazy. Ugh!

***

"So, can you tell me the reason why you're doing these things?" seryosong tanong sa akin ni Sofia matapos naming umorder dun sa waiter na nakakabwisit. Kamusta naman na pagpasok namin dito, iba na yung pagkakatingin nya kay Sofia. And the way he smiled nung binigay ni Sofia yung order nya, sarap manapak. But I'm not jealous ha. I'm just, uh, nevermind. Basta, ang pangit nya!

"I told you before that I like you, right?" she nodded but looked at me suspiciously.

"I'm aware of you and your friends' 'escapades'" and she actually quoted the word escapades.

I remained calm kahit sa loob ko, kinakabahan na ako. How'd she know? Was she investigating? Or baka may nagsabi sa kanya about sa dare na 'to? Oh no. Goodbye Baby Lamborg na ba?

"What escapades?" I innocently asked her. Of course, I had to let her think that I had no idea on what she's talking about.

She raised her eyebrow as if she's telling me this: 'Really? Did you really think that I am stupid?'

I shrugged. Hinding-hindi ako aamin sa harap ni Sofia Ilustre. So she sighed before she started to speak again.

"Fine. I have a friend and her name is Heather. Ring a bell?" I shook my head. Ang dami naman kasing Heather sa school no! Malay ko kung sino yung tinutukoy nya.

"Ginger hair, cheerleader, Head b***h in Charge?" oh. Naalala ko na.

And malamang nakita nya sa itsura ko na narecognize ko yung sinabi nyang tao kaya tumango-tango sya and nakita ko yung galit sa mga mata nya.

"Yeah. She's my friend and I knew that you and your friends made a bet or dare if who's the one who can make her fall and then break her heart. And would you like to know who won?" uh-oh. Bakit hindi ko nalaman agad na kaibigan pala nya yung babaeng ilang buwan na humabol sa akin at nagdrama para balikan ko sya?

Shit, s**t, s**t, s**t, s**t. Yana, think. You have to think. Palusot, palusot.com.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to hurt her feelings but my friends forced me to do that. I know it was wrong but all I can say is, sorry." at nag-puppy eyes ako sa kanya. Well, I have to pretend that I was really sorry, right?

"You hurt her. And now, it's my turn. So, what's the prize?" she asked venomously.

Tiningnan ko sya ng derecho sa mga mata nya. She had to feel that I'm saying the truth.

Then I shook my head.

"There isn't any. Or if I'll be having a prize, it'll be your heart." I 'sincerely' told her.

Nung hindi sya nagsalita at hinintay lang na ituloy ko yung sasabihin ko, I smiled at her softly.

"I like you, Sofia, I really do. The first time I laid my eyes on you, I was sure that you're different. I already knew that you'll be special." hinawakan ko din yung mga kamay nya at ngumiti ulit sa kanya. "You can ask your friend if I gave her flowers, or baked her something, or even tried to write a poem." sana hindi parang nanunumbat yung datingan. "Not that I am trying to upbraid the things that I did for you. It's just that, I want you to know that what I'm feeling for you is real. Sofia, you're not like them. I really really really like you." And just like the first time, why does it feel so right na sabihin ko yung mga katagang yon? Ano ba talagang ginagawa sa akin ng babaeng 'to? Pero I have to get my act together. Kailangan ko syang mapaniwala na sincere ako. "I understand if you have doubts about my feelings, it's okay. Don't worry, I won't bother you again." then I sighed. I didn't bother to look at her because sure naman ako na hindi pa rin sya maniniwala. Of course dun pa rin sya sa kaibigan nya diba?

"What are you doing to me, Lopez?" she mumbled quietly pero narinig ko naman.

"After this date, I promise you that I will keep my distance." I don't know pero I felt something nung sinabi ko yon. Alam mo yung there's a part of me na gustong tumanggi sa sinabi kong yon pero wala na, nasabi ko na. Paninindigan ko na. I'll just face the consequence and try to live with my father's family after graduation. At first time ko matatalo sa dare kaya alam kong Steve will be bragging about that.

But I almost smiled when I heard her speak.

"No. I don't want you to do that. I'm sorry if accused you. I was scared. She warned me about you, but there's this part of me that wants to give you the benefit of the doubt. No one has ever put so much effort trying to make me happy. It's just you." she told me and I didn't know pero parang feeling ko, nag happy dance yung puso ko nung narinig ko yon. She trusts me. She believes in me.

Yes, she believed your lies, you monster! How can you hurt a girl like her? Asshead. Stupid, moron!

"Are you sure?" yeah, itutuloy ko na 'to. Andito na eh. Sayang ang kotse.

She smiled and nodded. I squeezed her hands and smiled at her 'sincerely'.

"Thank you. You won't regret it. I promise. I really really like you Sofia and I want to ask you if you'll allow me to court you." I asked her nervously. Bakit ba parang feeling ko, totoo lahat sa akin yung mga ginagawa kong 'to? C'mon Yana, para pa rin naman 'to sa kotse diba? Yes, sa kotse. Tama.

At biglang tumalon yung puso ko hanggang buwan nung marinig ko yung sagot nya.

"Yes."

"Yes?" hindi pa rin makapaniwalang tanong ko. Pumapayag syang ligawan ko sya?

"Yes." ulit pa nya. At dahil parang totoong-totoo yung sayang nararamdaman ko, agad akong tumayo and I hugged her tightly.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, Sofia." at para akong nasa langit nang maramdaman ko na naman na hinalikan nya ako sa pisngi.

At yun din yung moment na napili nung pangit na waiter na bumalik sa table namin ni Sofia para dalhin yung food namin.

I smirked at him and mouthed 'MINE' while still holding Sofia's hand. Take that, you asshole!

Kakamot-kamot namang tumalikod si Kuya. Serves him right!

Mukhang hindi naman nakatakas kay Sofia yung ginawa kong yon dahil narinig kong tumawa sya ng mahina.

Napatungo naman ako dahil sa sobrang kahihiyan. Baka akalain nya palaaway ko. Turn-off na naman. Ugh!

"Hey, look at me. It's okay." she said while squeezing my hand. "You're cute when you're being possessive." she said kaya napasmile naman ako.

Pagtingin ko sa kanya, ayan na naman yung kakaibang titig nya kaya naramdaman kong nag somersault yung puso ko.

"Uh, let's eat?"at yun na lang yung nasabi ko. Weak Yana, weak ka. BOO!

Ngumiti lang sya at tumango bago nagsimulang kumain.

Sofia Ilustre, what the hell are you doing to me?!