Half life

I Can't Sleep

Dad sighed and then made to speak but stopped and took few steps forward towards me in such a way that we were only but a few inches away from each other.

“What is wrong dear?” dad asked softly with concern written all over his voice while peering piercingly at me. I kept my gaze glued to the floor and wouldn’t look at him as he spoke.

“Nothing really dad, I’m fine I just need a little rest’’ I muttered almost inaudibly.

“Are you sure?” dad asked this time with a furrowed brow.

“Yes dad I’m fine don’t you worry’’ I replied and made to leave.

“Hold on a sec Amanda… have you been crying? Dad asked in a thin but firm register and I froze at the spot. I was taken unawares by his question. I thought I’ve succeeded in hiding the tears from him then how come he still found out? I asked rhetorically. Dad kept mute, still giving me a cursory look waited for a reply but I couldn’t give him one. Yes I did cry but it wouldn’t go down well if I told him I cried again especially because of mum. He’d get really upset with me besides I wasn’t sure anyway if I truly cried or not.

“Dad!’’ I called rubbing my eyes wearily with the back of my left palm to feign tiredness and Dad looked intently at me then smiled. Perhaps he knew it was all drama and knew I wanted to be left off the hook.

“Well you can go and rest but do make sure you shower first” dad said amidst smiles.

“Okay Dad I will do just that. Thank you so much Dad, I love you” I replied grinning wildly.

“Ouch stop it girl, your teeth aches already’’ I mumbled absentmindedly to myself as I left Dad and plodded towards my door while Dad looked on till I was almost at my door then started descending the staircase.

The room was all in sheer darkness as I ambled gently toward the light switch and turned it on, immediately the room was lighted with multicolored beams of bulb from the corners of the room.

“Look who we have here again’’ I said as I hugged Candy my favorite teddy bear and roommate beaming with smiles. Candy was also a gift from a distant Aunt; Mum’s younger sister who lives somewhere up north the Soucti Axis for my 5 birthday celebration, so I was told by mum and have from then remained one of the best treasures I do ever have in my life. I wasn’t even sure if I had ‘other treasures’ or perhaps if I did what they really were. I do know mum was one but I guess not anymore.

I sighed softly and walked toward my little table by the corner of the bed few inches away from the wall on it was my pink diary.

“Wow I missed you a lot my secret keeper and companion’’ I said as I leisurely fondled it. I paused for a moment and gazed at the wall, running my left hand on it with my hand left clinging Candy tightly to my side I admired the flowery patterns drawn with creamy colors on the pinky interior décor. I moved toward the foot of the bed and kept staring at the medium sized bed covered with silky white colored bed sheets and sank into it. At last I’m home again after what seemed like forever, I thought to myself and smiled. After few minutes I placed candy on the bed and headed for my closet to have change of clothes and thereafter shower.

Few minutes later I came out wet and donned in a white towel with another towel tied loosely around my hair. Walking closer to my bed, I drew the small stool by the bed side and sat on it with my back turned against the bed and facing the mirror I took my lotion and begin to apply it in cyclic motion on my body. When I was done with applying lotion on my body I stood and walked frantically to my closet to have change of clothes. After standing there for some minutes with no particular cloth in mind to wear decided to settle for denim and a purple T-Shirt without much ado.

“Not my fault though if only Mum was right here with me, I wouldn’t have to worry about what and what not to wear. Back then she made all the decisions and I only had tag to along like a sheep. But unfortunately she’s no more so I have to decide what to wear”, I soliloquized as I did wore my clothes. Then I walked stealthily across the room to the large mirror hanging on the wall and picked a lip gloss lying on the dressing table and began to dab the gloss with a finger on my lips and when I was done did my hair into a pony tail.

After staring intently at my reflection in the mirror nodded softly and gave out a short witty laugh

“Perfect gurl!” I exclaimed joyously and immediately jumped into my bed. With nothing in particular in mind but sleep, I made to sleep but stood abruptly immediately my head lay on the pillow as though I remembered something. Of course I knew for sure that I can’t sleep even though I had earlier on agreed to sleep when Dad asked me to, in the sitting room. Pacing up and down my room aimlessly I decided to arrange my dressing table just to kill boredom perhaps I could fall asleep in the process. Then I began to arrange the table firstly the palette with different colors then the brown jewelry box; a gift from grandma, then the brush. I opened the drawer by the left side of the table and carefully placed them inside.