Half life

Diary Section

As I made to leave, I glanced at my diary then smiled as an idea crept into my mind.

“How about you write instead?” I asked rhetorically. Its been such a long time I wrote in my diary perhaps a week or so and jeez a lot have happened already in a short time and I needed to write asap. Perhaps to clear my head a bit after all I’ve been through lately. Whenever I’m sad writing to some extent lightens my mood. Reading and writing have been my hobbies over the years and I simply can’t do without them. Flipping through the pages of the diary, I began to scan the write ups in search of nothing in particular. I sighed softly and walked over to my bedside and sat on it with my legs folded. I opened the dairy and began to scribble down some deep and dark feelings; feelings of resentment, anger and pain.

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Dear Diary,

I’m sorry for have left you for so long. I’d hope you miss me as much as I do.

A lot has happened already and I can’t wait to tell you.

The other day, mum left us all alone without a reason. And then I really wanna know why?

DO you know why? Perhaps you can tell me. Not to worry I’ll find out soon. And then left alone in the house, I did blackout in the kitchen. Were you told that?

Oh poor thing! How would you have ever known when I was lying helplessly on the sick bed battling for my own very life in pains? That doesn’t hurt.

You know what hurts more? It hurts so much to see that the very person you call mum never showed up for once at the hospital just to see how her own daughter was faring. It hurts right?

Day after day at the hospital I kept peering at the door, hoping and praying that mum shows up at least just once but perhaps the universe was against my wish and it never did happened. And then today we came back. Dad’s now in the kitchen preparing dinner.

Sounds weird right?

Dad’s now suddenly a chief chef since Mum’s no longer here.

As a matter of fact I’m getting my pills ready just in case…

Catch you later gotta go baby.

***Lots of love***

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I stood up and stretched my body then closed the diary. Suddenly streams of joy flooded my heart and I began to smile broadly as I walked over to keep the diary on the dressing table.

If there was anything or anyone that does not judge me it’s definitely my dairy and companion. It does listen to all my pains in silence and never for once give an opinion. And it was quite easier not to lie to her. It has been my silent companion.

“Let me go down stairs and see what this man is up to in the kitchen. Who knows he might need some help,” I soliloquized. I sighed in frustration on realizing that Dad is going to scold me for not sleeping.

“Amanda just go there and if he asks just tell him the truth. He won’t bite after all, he is your dad and you are his princess.” Another voice whispered softly in my head and I let out an evil grin. Heading straight for the staircase, I unbolted my door but ran back inside and casted a quick glance at me in the mirror, arranged my hair, breathed out and nodded in satisfaction then ran out of the room giggling like the 8 year old I was. If not for anything else I needed to look good for my dad. Perhaps princesses I thought were made to look beautiful at all times. As I cascaded the stairs, moving rhythmically to the sound of my flip flop I paused at intervals to run my hand on the stair rails; an action borne out of sudden joy and happiness. I don’t even know why I feel this happy perhaps it was due to my diary session earlier but I’m grateful anyway.

As I approach the sitting room, I slowed down a bit and began to take small strides till I walked over to the couch. I made to sit but stood up and peered toward the dining table in search of dad with my hazy eyes darting left and right in their sockets.

“Thank goodness. He is not in sight. He is probably busy with something in the kitchen.” I sighed as I thought quietly to myself then smiled in satisfaction and then sank into the couch. The sounds emanating softly from the speaker beside the TV set hanging firmly on the wall drew my attention and I glided my head slowly towards the TV to see the program currently showing. It was news hour. I guess Dad was the one watching it earlier on and must have left for the kitchen to continue with his cooking. I feel so sorry for Dad already. It wasn’t so back then mum did the cooking. I’ve known Dad for years and have never for once seen him cook. All I see him do those times were strictly work based and nothing else. If it was news hour, he usually come down stairs to watch the news then retire back to his study after dinner. He has always being a busy man and never really had free time unless during summers, which he always made sure all of us together as a family went for vacation. But here he was now busy in the kitchen preparing dinner all by himself because he has to. I sighed softly as I thought to myself while staring blankly at the TV. My stomach made growling sounds as I yawned in exhaustion. I needed no magician to tell it to me that I was now very famished. So I got up and started for the kitchen.