The Heartless

4-Dream house

I closed my eyes and gently swaying my head from left to right. Tapping hands on my legs while mind is under the spill of a sound I used to listened a couple of times already. My back leaning on the tree. My bag is on my lap and my phone is on top of it.

The crowd was suffocating, it disturb my serenity so I distance myself. I can't bear to stay in a crowded place. So here I am, under the tree. Vividly listening to the music and let myself be drown by it.

I turned off my phone when I got tired of listening. Inilabas ko ang sketch pad at napagpasyahang lagyan ng high light ang ginawa kong bahay kahapon.

I was so preoccupied by coloring my work. I smile at the results, it really satisfies my taste. Aw! This is awesome! Papa would love it. I know he'll be proud of me, seeing this work of mine.

I sneered when I felt someone watching me. I grabbed my sketch pad and hug it instantly.

"Beautiful." The voice commented.

I froze as I recognized who was he. What the hell, he's doing here? I tried to avoid him, but here he is. Trying to get close to me. Oh, cut the crap, Carlin! Don't over think.

"Why are you here?"

I didn't bother to glance at him. I heard his soft sigh before sitting down not far from me.

"I didn't know you have a great talent in sketching." I'm flattered. I hide my smile. Ayokong isipin niya natutuwa ako sa papauri niya.

I shrugged as if I'm not interested in his compliment. Though deep inside, I'm dead happy. "Thanks, just one of my hobby when I'm bored. Mas magaling ka pa rin kesa sa'kin."

"May see it, again?" I looked at him as if telling no! I don't want, "please..." he added with pleading gesture. I looked around and think if I grant his request.

"Where's Freya?" I asked. Hoping to change the topic and he might forget about my sketch.

"She went home early. Hinatid ko siya, masama kasi ang pakiramdam niya."

I nodded.

"So? May i see your work? Please, carl..."

I let out a sigh in defeat. Inabot ko sa kanya ang sketch pad. A bright smile form on his lips. His eyes focused on the sketch as he carefully tracing it of his fingers. "This is so beautiful, it seems alive."

I can't help but to smile. "Thank you." I muttered, "that's my dream house..." I continue, "balang araw, ipapatayo ko ang bahay na yan kapag may sarili na akong pamilya." I paused and look at him, and quickly averted my gaze because I don't want him to caught me.

Umangat ang ulo niya at ngumiti sa'kin that could almost take my breath away. "Ang swerte ng mapapangasawa mo."

Hindi rin kung hindi lang naman ikaw. Gusto ko sanang isatinig. Kimi na lamang akong ngumiti at kinuha sa kanya ang sketch pad. Ibinalik ko iyon sa bag dahil tapos ko na rin kulayan lahat.

"Anyway, birthday ko this Friday. Balak ko sanang imbitahin ka, 'yan ay kung okay lang sa'yo. May kaunting salo-salo sa bahay, you know my mom, right? Baka nandoon din ang parents mo, I just want to invite you personally. Ipapakilala ko na si Freya sa mga magulang ko. And I want you to come, syempre you're my friend also because you are her best friend."

I felt a pang of pain engulfing my heart as what he said. He is really serious this time. I hold my tears. I don't want to cry in front of him.

"Yes, I'd love to come. So, okay. Sasama na lang ako kina mama at papa kung pupunta sila. Anyway, what do you want for your birthday?"

He got up from the grass. Then he smiled, a friendly smile. He placed his hands on both pocket of his pants.

"Don't bother, just be there and that would be a nice gift to me, to be present on my upcoming unforgettable moments ."

"Oh, okay, then." I tried not to choke my words.

Hindi na rin siya nagtagal at nagpaalam na. Ako man ay tumayo na rin, tinanaw ko muna siya hanggang sa naging malayo na sa'kin saka nagsimulang humakbang palabas ng campus.

...

I rolled up myself on bed. It's Friday, Clarke's 20th birthday. I bought wrist watch for him though he clearly says na hindi na kailangan mag-abala pa. But I'd love to patter, especially when it comes to him. I'm a bit excited but sad at the same time. Today, will be a great day for both life of the two important persons in my life.

I yawned. Lifting up and down my legs. Spreading my arms horizontally left and right. I'm facing at the ceiling. I heard a loud knock at the door.

"Nak! Gising kana?" My mom.

"Yes, ma. Come in."

"I bring your dress for tonight."

Sinipat ko ang damit. Ang ganda, at ang sukat tingin ko ay kasyang-kasya sa'kin.

"Binili mo 'to, ma?"

"No, ang tita Carla mo ang nagpadala nito."

Tita Carla, is Clarke's mother.

"Bakit naman po? Kailangan ba talagang magbihis ng formal?"

"Alam mo naman 'yang tita mo, pagbigyan mo na lang. Palibhasa puro lalaki ang mga anak."

Well? Ano pa nga ba ang magagawa ko? Wala na, malamang.

"Hala, mag-ayos kana at baka ma-late ka sa klase mo. Mamaya, maaga kang umuwi pagkatapos ng klase mo. Bilin sa'kin ng tita mo, magpasalon daw kayo."

"Salon? Ma!"

"Hay, naku Carlin! Panahon na para umasta kang dalaga. Tingnan mo nga ang ibang kabataan ngayon, halos elementarya pa lang ay kung ano-ano kulorete na ang ginagawa sa mukha."

"Baby pa ako, Ma!"

Umismid naman si mama. I strengthen my legs and get ready to get up.

"Kahit naman ano'ng mangyari, baby ka pa rin namin ng papa mo. Hala, sige na. Maligo kana, and don't disappoint your tita Carla. Magtatampo ang isang iyon."

I rolled my eyes. Hay! What should I do now? Si mama nagsimula nang humakbang palabas.

"Teka, Ma! Ano'ng oras ang party? Akala ko kasi maliit lang na salo-salo with Clarke's friends."

"8 sharp. Altamonte sila Carlin, hindi basta-bastang salo-salo ang magaganap."

"Hay, mayaman nga naman." Tuluyan nang lumabas si mama sa silid ko. Mabilis kong tinalunton ang banyo at naligo. After 20 minutes pababa na ako ng hagdan. Si papa nasa mesa, sipping a cup of coffee while holding newspaper.

"Hey, Pa. Morning." I kissed him on the cheeks likewise my mom.

"Upo na at kumain. Ihahatid ka ng papa mo sa university." Sabi ni mama.

"No need. Baka ma-late pa si papa."

"I'm the boss, princess baka nakalimutan mo."

"You're being unreasonable papa, hindi porke't boss ka, ay ok lang na ma-late ka." I kidded

He smile and sip his coffee.

"Well, that's the reality princess. Hanggat hindi nakakabalik ang driver mo ako muna ang maghahatid sa'yo."

"Papa, I can take care of myself. I'm a big na girl na po." I like being childish sometimes. Tumawa naman si papa, "right, Ma?" Binalingan ko si mama.

"Naku! kayong mag-ama bilisan niyo na at baka dalawa pa kayo ang ma-late."

Si papa, tinabing ang newspaper at tumingin sa'kin saka tumaas ang kilay.

"Ma, si papa, oh?"

Dali-dali ibinalik ni papa ang mga mata sa binabasa. I heard him chuckled. Si mama naman ay makahulugang tinapunan ng tingin si papa. Tatawa-tawa kong ipinagpatuloy ang pagkain.

Nasa tapat na kami ng university when I saw a pair of couple hugging at the wall way. Yumuko ako, nasa loob pa rin ako ng sasakyan. I felt papa's hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay, princess?"

"Yeah, I'm okay, papa. Sige na po, baba na ako. Ingat sa pag-drive pa." I kissed him before getting out.

"Bes!" Napalingon ako kay Freya na nakalambitin sa leeg ni Clarke. I wanted to ignore and pass them but i don't have the guts to do so. So, I stop right in front of lovers.

"So are you ready for tonight?" So much joy written on her face.

"I think so." Awkward kong sagot.

She hits me lightly. "You should be!" She exclaimed while smiling.

Bumaling ako kay Clarke na nakatingin pala sa'kin. Kimi akong ngumiti at nag-paalam na mauna sa kanila. Inayos ko ang eye glass ko habang naglalakad. Ang bigat ng pakiramdam ko para akong lalagnatin sa sakit ng dibdib ko.

Mabilis na lumipas ang oras. Luckily, maagang natapos ang last subject namin. Kaagad kaming naghiwalay ni Freya dahil sa party mamaya. I saw my phone blinking, naka silent kasi ito.

It was my mom "Ma?"

"Dumiretso ka sa salon ng ninang Anna mo Carlin nandito kami ng tita Carla mo."

"Sige Ma, I'm coming. Kalalabas ko lang ng university nag-aabang ako ng taxi."

"Siya sige, mag-ingat ka."

"Yes Ma, Bye!" I hang up my phone and put back in my bag. I don't know what's been up with old folks. I sigh. Magpapatinaod na muna ako sa gusto nila.

Huminto ang taxi na sinasakyan ko sa isang malaking salon. It was owned by my ninang Anna who's happily married with her Italian husband. I pulled the door to open it. And there they were, sitting pretty while the gays are so busy doing some stuff on their hair and nails.

"Hey, baby! You're here." Si ninang Anna ang unang nakapansin sa'kin. Lumapit ako sa kanila at humalik sa pisngi isa-isa.

"How's your day, sweetheart?" Tita Carla asked.

"Okay lang po, tita. Medyo busy lang sa paparating na exam."

"Oh, that's good to hear."

I smile. Bumaling ako kay mama.

"Ma? Nawiwili na kayo diyan. Baka magselos si papa kapag nakita kang nagpa make-over."

Both Ninang and tita Carla laughed.

"Naku, iyang ama mo. Minsan lang naman 'to."

"Baby, halika na rito. Simulan na natin ang pag-aayos sa'yo."

Sumunod ako kay ninang matapos mailagay sa drawer ang gamit ko. I let her remove my eye glass. My back lean on the chair, I close my eyes and let myself relax. Hinayahaan ko sila sa ginagawa nila. Pati kamay at paa ko may kumakalikot na rin.

"Ang ganda-ganda mo pero tinatago mo riyan sa malaking salamin. Buti hindi ka nabu-bully sa university niyo sa ganyang ayos mo." Komento ni ninang.

"Ewan ko ba sa batang 'yan, sinabihan ko nang mag-ayos na pang dalaga ay hindi pa rin nakinig sa akin." Sabat ni mama.

"Mabuti nga iyon nang hindi pagka-interesan ng ibang lalaki at tanging si Clarke lang." Wika ni tita Carla na muntikan ko nang ikatayo sa upuan ko. Kung may nginunguya lang ako, malamang nabulunan na ako.

I ignored them, as if hindi ko narinig ang pinag-uusapan nila tungkol sa amin ni Clarke. Hay, oldies. Kung alam niyo lang.

Ang sarap ng paa ko. I felt calm dahil sa pagmamasahe ng bakla. I let my consciousness eat up by darkness until I fell asleep.

"Sleeping beauty, gising."

Tinig ng bakla ang pumukaw sa'kin. Si cookie. Yun ang pangalan niya.

My eyes got bigger when I saw my eyebrows. Manipis na iyon at hindi na makapal, my kurte na rin. In fairness, bagay pala sa akin.

"Ninang!" I panicked.

Sabay silang tatlong lumabas.

"Whats wrong sweetheart?" Si tita Carla

"Ano'ng nangyari?" Si mama.

"Baby, may problema ba?" Si Ninang.

I wanted to laughed ang AO ng tatlong 'to. I pointed my finger to cookie.

"Oh, my gosh! Wala akong ginawa girl." Maarting depensa ni cookie.

"Why are you shaving my eyebrows?" I asked. I heard the three sigh in relief.

Tumatawang hinawakan ako ni ninang sa balikat. Bahagya pa akong niyugyog. "Baby, inaayos lang ni cookie ang kilay mo. And look how beautiful you are, see? Isa ka nang tunay na dalaga. Tinatago mo ang ganda mo."

"Tama, iha. Bagay na bagay sa 'yo ang bago mong ayos. Naku, kapag nakita ka ni Clarke tiyak na mai-in love iyon sa'yo.

I groaned.

Lumapit si mama at niyakap ako mula sa likuran. "Ang ganda talaga ng anak ko."

"Ma, naman! Pati ba naman ikaw, syempre anak niyo ako. Pupurihin niyo talaga ako."

I rolled my eyes dahil tumawa lang ang tatlo. Humarap ako kay cookie na nakipag peace sign sa'kin. I arc my eyebrows and snap him.

TBC