What if?

Chapter 68: On his desk

Michael

“We are now back inside the car and Nick has been staying so quiet ever since he walked out in the foundation.” I said while looking at him secretly.

Seeing him like this makes me and others think that he really wants to get close with Jake. Why does he want to become friends with Jake when he clearly has me and John together?

“Are we not enough?” I am asking myself while continuously secretly looking at him. He is mad at Jake but he is not even thinking that I am mad at him.

“Ugh!” I sighed as I stopped myself from looking at him. I hate this kind of feeling. It is so heavy in the heart.

“I wonder if John would feel the same if he was here.” I said to myself.

Janice has been staying really quiet the same as Nick. I think she just doesn’t want the atmosphere to get worse. Nick has never been like this ever since he became a part of our family.

“We are here.” The driver said as he broke the silence that was surrounding the car.

“Thankfully we are already at home. I don’t know what to do if I stay longer there.” I said to myself and opened the car.

“Oh!” Janice said as Nick got out of the car first and walked really fast without looking ahead. He was literally looking down only.

“Is he crying?” Janice asked me as she touched my shoulders. “What?” I replied. I did not know what other words to reply because I was shocked by what came out of Janice’s mouth.

“Did you not see it? He was looking down. It is possible that he might be really crying.” Janice added to what she believes could have happened to Nick.

“Is he kidding me? Why would he cry to someone like Jake who is so full of himself and doesn’t know how to socialize with other people?” I asked myself while looking at the front door of our house.

“If I know that he really cried, I don’t know what to do.” I said as I caressed my chest because of the ache that I am feeling.

I am hurting a lot. “I will go to my room too.” I said and did not wait for Janice to reply. I could not take this anymore. I will have to talk with Nick about what he is feeling and ask him a lot of questions.

I walked towards the door and upon entering I saw Maria, Leonora and Theresa standing in front of the door. I think they are standing in front of the door to greet us. They might have waited for some time too since it is already a little dark now.

“Greetings Michael!” They all said cheerfully. I nod my head gently as a response. I know that my actions might have surprised them all.

Now I am walking upstairs and did not bother with anything else except talking with Nick and confronting him.

“HoooHh!” I breathed heavily while walking next to our bedroom’s door. I have to calm myself so I will not say anything bad that will make us shout at each other. I know that he is not feeling it and I am too but if I let my emotions out, it will not give a good outcome.

I opened the door. I did not bother to knock because Nick might have an option for me not to go inside the bedroom.

As soon as I opened the door I saw Nick crying silently on his desk. He is not making a sound but because of his position and gestures I can see that he is crying indeed.

It made me even more mad. “Nick.” I said as I called out his name. “He tried to wipe his tears secretly first before looking at me. “Yes?” Nick answered as soon as he finished wiping his tears out.

“s**t!” I said and hurriedly came near him. I cannot take the way that he looks at me with those eyes. I have seen him with these eyes before and I told myself not to give him these eyes ever again.

“What the hell is so good about Jake?” I asked myself as I finally was able to hug Nick. This is not what I wanted to do. This is definitely not the reason why I came here inside the room.

I want to ask him a lot of questions and say a lot of things but after seeing him I cannot even say a single word.

“Don’t. Please don’t.” I said while hugging Nick tightly. This is not him when he came into this household.

I wonder what Jake did to him to be like this. “Sorry. I was being rude a while ago. You must have wanted to be in the foundation a bit longer.” Nick said after he heard me say something.

If only he knows how I don’t like to be in that place after knowing that it belongs to Jake’s family. I could have done something before going there so we would not end up being there. I already had the feels but I didn’t follow it. I am so stupid.

“It is not your fault to say what you wanted him to hear, you know?” I said to Nick to make him feel better.

“It is still. I should know from the start that Jake has a problem communicating with other people. Do you think I am mad at him?” Nick asked me as he pulled himself out of my arms.

“What do you mean? I don’t seem to get what you want to say.” I answered Nick’s question immediately.

Actually I know and understand his question well but I didn’t want to answer it due to personal reasons. I want to hear it coming from his mouth.

“I am not mad at Jake. I am actually mad at myself because I was so naïve and stupid to think that there will be a where Jake and I become friends like us and John.” Nick said which made me want to say something bad but I did not want to ruin the atmosphere because it is already getting better.

“I think he is important to you.” I said trying to ask him indirectly the question that kept bugging in my mind. “What do you mean by that?” Nick asked me a question in a stuttering voice.

“I know you know what I mean.” I wanted to say this to her but I have to do it in a calm way and better way to address the question that I wanted to ask him. I am left with no choice but to ask him directly now since he is trying to neglect my question a while ago.

I moved back and exhaled a heavy breath so I could calm down and try to calm myself down.

I looked down and counted to three. “One, two, three.” I counted and moved my head up again and looked at him straight to his eyes so I could see his emotions well.

“I am asking if you like him.” I said in a monotone voice. I did not want to sound weird or something that would make him feel bad so I said it in a monotone voice.

I tried my best and now all I want is an answer coming from him honestly.