Chapter 1

1062 Words
*Isabella POV* Have you ever felt that you just don't belong? That you are surrounded by a sea of people yet feel so terribly alone. That you have a loving family but you are different from them somehow. You have a bunch of friends yet they don’t know the true you and you feel like they could never understand and never accept. When everyone is different, that means that you are truly the different one, the odd one out.  I stand at the school gate like I have done every morning for the past year with these thoughts running through my head. I am not sure exactly when it changed. Maybe it was exactly a year ago on my seventeenth birthday. Going from being the standard, fitting in where ever I went to suddenly drifting away and feeling so strange. I try to brush it off, it is just hormones or puberty or mild depression, any type of excuse for me to not feel so alone and isolated. I sigh, clench my fists, plaster a fake smile on my face and step into school. I walk up to the main building and walk in the front door. There is a loud bang and I raise my fists in fight position, when a bunch of balloons and streamers fall all over me. After my moment of shock I look at my stance, what on earth am I doing? I can't even fight, where did I learn that from? I really felt that I could defend myself, my reaction time was really surprising. I really need to lay off the action movies…… but the men and their bodies mmmmm I digress. "Happy birthday Bella" I correct my stance so that I don't look as insane as I feel before I look around. Can't let anyone see my strange behavior.  Big smiles on everyone's faces as they come rushing towards me. I nearly choke on the smell of cheap perfume, what is this has everyone bathed in it today? I try and block it out before I gag. Yes I am popular, I should be the girl that fits in the most in the entire school, yet here I am, feeling like the biggest outcast in the world. I wear my extra excited smile mask today. "You girls, you shouldn't have done all this" "But it is worth it to see your smile" I hug the girls in front of me. I am head cheerleader and volleyball captain, the 2 groups barely ever come together except when it has anything to do with me. I smile and chat with the girls before class starts. I look around the rest of the hallway, most of the football team are also waiting to wish me happy birthday. I catch sight of Lachlan my on and off again boyfriend for the last year. He is football captain, has the best body on the school and treats me well. I know it sounds slutty but I mainly use him for his dick, I can't help myself I am positive I have something wrong with me, no matter how much I do it I never feel satisfied. After Lachlan I tried it with a few others to see if he just wasn't doing the job properly, but it was the same with the others so I went back to Lachlan. I figure it is better to stay with the one and he doesn't mind my excessive sexual appetite. Do I love him? No, it is barely like, but he is sweet and good-looking, I really am just a bitch. I know I am a terrible person but what else can I do? I have really tried to be normal, have a normal relationship with him, he is the ultimate boyfriend in every way there is just something wrong with me, no matter how good he is to me it all just feels wrong. My whole life feels wrong. Lachlan gives me a small smile as he leans against the wall with his hands in his pockets. His blonde hair swept back over his head. His piercing blue eyes trained straight to mine. He tries to look nonchalant but his burning gaze gives away his inner thoughts. One of the girls that I can't stand from cheer, Cassie speaks up. "Ohh it looks like Lachlan is looking for you" I can nearly reach out and grab clumps of jealousy that are coming off her. I smile sweetly at her. "Of course my boyfriend would be looking for me" I ignore her and walk over to Lachlan. I lean straight against his body, plastering myself to his my hands going up under his tee as I grip his back. "I am horny baby" I complain to him in low, whiney voice "Babe you nearly killed me on the weekend" He complains but his handsome face is covered with a doting smile. "Baby that was 2 days ago, have you not recovered yet?" I put a pout on my face and look at him with big eyes, I feel bad, most girlfriends probably beg for gifts in this way, but me, that's a whole different story. He runs his rough thumb down my smooth soft cheek, the roughness feels nice. "You are so beautiful babe" I let my hand wander around his body. He wraps his arms around my waist. Pulling me closer to him. Pressing me against him. I sniff his neck, he smells more potent than usual, not bad. A soft sort of scent. My hips start small movements against him. I am crazy horny right now and that was even after waking up and masturbating this morning. "Babe, why do I feel like you only want me for my body?" I run my hand over his abs. I look up into his eyes. "What if I said I did?" He smiled even though I can practically hear his heart breaking. Yep I am a massive bitch. Luckily the bell rings at this time. I stand on my tip toes and plant a soft kiss on his lips. "Lunch?" He nods and I kiss him again and walk away. I can feel his gaze on me as I walk away. I clench my fists again. What is wrong with me? Today I feel even more unusual than everyone else
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