My heart was racing. I knew that I had to tell Joel the truth, and I had to tell myself the truth. This entire time, I have been ignoring it all along when I knew the truth. I just thought that maybe if I ignored my feelings for so long, I would be able to understand them a lot more. The thing is, I couldn’t understand them because Joel made me crazy. He tested my patience and pushed me to impossible lengths. But he also made me feel more alive than I have in such a long time. Joel brought all my desires to light and never once looked at me the way some had when they heard of my past. He went out of his way to save me from Nick when he could have easily walked away. This entire time, it was staring me right in the face, but I couldn’t see it because I was too afraid to admit it
