Chapter Nineteen – All of Me
2194 Words
JAMIN was scared the wits out of him. He was never been this worried before, afraid that Rose will choose a path that he’s not in it. He was standing in her living room, watching her back.
“Rose, please? Please let me in your life again?”
“Jamin…I don’t know. Nalilito pa rin ako. Alam kong alam mo na may nararamdaman pa rin ako sa ‘yo pero…natatakot akong masaktan na muli. Ayokong bumalik sa dating ako na kayang tanggapin ang lahat ng p*******t mo.”
“No…I won’t let that happen again. Kung kinakailangang saktan ko muna ang sarili ko bago ka masaktan, gagawin ko. Kapag sinaktan kitang muli, kapag sinabi mong layuan kita, lalayo ako. Hindi na kita muling gagambalain pa. But please, for now give us a chance. I love you. And I know you love me too. Please tell me you still love me?”
“Julian, umalis ka na. Iwan mo muna ako. Hayaan mong pag-isipan ko muna ito. It took me years to find my courage and I like what I am right now. Kung babalik ako sa iyo, gusto kong ‘yong ako pa rin at hindi ang dating Rose Ann na duwag. Please leave.”
Parang sasabog ang dibdib niya sa sobrang takot. Ayaw niyang bigyan ito ng pagkakataong makapag-isip na lumayo, pero ayaw din naman niya itong pilitin. Nilapitan niya ito, niyakap sa likuran. Nagpasalamat siyang hindi ito pumalag at hinayaan lang siyang yumakap.
“Rose…mahal na mahal kita. Patawad sa mga ginawa ko. Sana…sana ay kaya kong bawiin ang lahat ng masasamang salitang binitawan ko. Alam kong lubusan kitang nasaktan, kaya maiintindihan ko kung mas pipiliin mong lumayo sa akin.”
Umuyog ang mga balikat nito. Umiiyak. Humigpit ang pagkakayakap niya. Takot na baka ito na ang huling pagkakataon na madikit siya sa babaeng mahal.
“Kapag hindi ka dumating sa kasiyahang gaganapin sa resthouse ni dad sa susunod na gabi, iisipin kong iyon na ang desisyon mong lumayo sa akin. I will not come after you anymore. I will respect your decision. I want you to know that you’re the only woman to have captured my heart like this. I love you so much, Rose. You’re my soul. You’re my life.” Hindi na niya napigilan ang pag-iyak. Pakiramdam niya ay ito na ang katapusan sa kanilang dalawa.
Nang hindi pa rin ito kumilos, bumitaw na siya. Tinungo ang pinto, binuksan at lumabas nang hindi na lumilingon. God knows how much he wanted to hold on but…god! Ang sakit pala! Hindi siya makahinga. Walang patid ang pagtulo ng mga luha niya.
Tumigil siya, pinahid ang luha. Sasabog yata ang dibdib niya sa sobrang hapdi. Sinuntok niya ang pader na nasa tabi, nasaktan siya pero hindi sinsakit ng nararamdaman ng puso. Napaupo siya sa sidewalk. Hindi inalintana ang mga dumaraan na pinagtitinginan siya. Ganoon din ang sugat na natamo sa kamao. Ganito pala ang tunay na masaktan.
ABALA ang lahat sa paghahanda para sa nalalapit na pagtitipon sa resthouse. Jamin was spending his time walking at the seaside near the resthouse. He felt like dying every second the clock ticks. He dreaded the time to come but wanted to happen at the same time. He’s scared…really scared.
“Son.” Narinig niyang tawag ng ama. Nilingon niya ito, hindi namalayang nakasunod pala sa kanya.
“Dad.” Huminto siya para hintayin ito na makalapit sa kanya. Tsaka sila nagpatuloy sa mabagal na paglakad.
“What’s with the face?”
“I…I don’t know what to do.”
Jaime sighed. He stopped and looked at the red sunset kissing the calm water. “She just started picking up the life she missed, son. Let her do that. When the right time comes, she’ll comeback to you. Let her wounds heal.”
“I love her.”
“You can love her from the distance. At least you can still see her from far away, son. You can love her that way.”
Nakaramdam si Jamin ng lungkot para sa ama. Ilang taon na rin itong biyudo at hindi niya kailanman narinig na nagka-interes ito sa ibang babae.
“Why didn’t you re-marry, dad?”
He smiled. He looked at him before started walking again. He followed him.
“Your mother asked me to get married again in her deathbed. I thought that’s what’s going to happen, but I couldn’t bring myself to it. The memories your mother and I shared were so vivid it felt like just yesterday. I’m contented with just her memories. I loved her then, and still love her after death. I don’t need another woman.”
“Dad.”
“Pero ako iyon, anak. Trust me, babalik si Abbigail. Just be patient and wait.”
Oo. Iyon na lang ang magagawa niya. Mas mainam ngang buhay ang minamahal niya kaysa wala na katulad ng mommy niya. He is thankul for that, thought felt sad for his dad.
“Let’s head back to the resthouse. I have to prepare for the party.” Aya ng ama.
Tumango siya’t sumunod na rin.
WHEN the time struck at six in the evening, the visitors started coming in. Karamihan ay mga namamasukan sa Carmella Resort and Hotel. Ang iba naman ay mga pamilya’t kaibigan, at mga masusugid na parokyano ng Carmella Resort. Everyone had smile on their lips.
Jamin was with his father, welcoming the visitors as they came by. But his attention was focused in one thing only, his wife’s arrival.
The dress code was sarong, hawaian style. It was refreshing to see in contrast to always business suits. The introduction had started. Everyone cheered and congratulated the founder, Mr. Jaime Alejandro. They also took a moment to give prayer to his late wife, Carmella whom he built the resort for.
They had intermissions led by Karen. Every owner of small businesses renting out in the resort gave thanks and were recognized for their good businesses. Every person working for the resort and hotel, however small it may be was given appreciation awards and small bonuses. Everyone seemed to be happy.
The stage was cleared for the dancing. A slow, mellow music played in the air. Jamin’s heart started getting heavier. He trembled at the thought that his wife was not coming. He can’t breathe. He was panicking. He felt suffocated. He needed to get away from here.
Ngunit bago pa man siya nakatakbo ay napansin niya ang kanyang ama na may babaeng kasama papasok sa pagtitipon. Napako siya sa kinatatayuan, halos panlambutan ng buong katawan. Kung wala lang siguro siya sa pagtitipon ay baka napaluhod na siya’t umiyak sa sobrang saya.
“Is that Ms. Rose Ann Romero? Oh my god, she is so beautiful!”
“Hindi ba si Abbigail iyan, ‘yong may-ari ng Sarong and more?”
“Oh my gosh! It’s Rose Ann! Ang ganda talaga niya!”
“Isn’t she Jamin Alejandro’s wife? My, what a lucky man.”
“Who is that woman dancing with Jaime Alejandro? She looks like an angel.”
“Si Rose Ann ‘yong babae hindi ba? Narito pala siya sa Carmella Resort.”
Mga bulungan at ‘di napigilang paghanga ng mga bisita patungkol kay Abbigail. Pinagmasdan ni Jamin ang asawa sa suot na simpleng sarong-a halter dress style in midnight blue and fushia colors. Lalo lamang pinatingkad niyon ang maputi at makinis na kutis nito.
Simpleng manipis na sandalyas na kulay puti ang suot nito sa mga paa, habang ang kulot at mahabang buhok ay ipinusod nito sa ituktok ng ulo. Maging ang koloreteng ipinahid ay napakasimple. Subalit hindi iyon nakabawas, sa halip ay sumang-ayon lamang sa natural nitong ganda. Wala itong anumang palamuti na suot sa katawan, maliban sa singsing na suot sa palasingsingan.
Natigil doon ang paningin ni Julian, napasinghap nang mapagtangtong iyon ang wedding ring nila. Bigla siyang nakaramdam ng lakas ng loob. Nilapitan niya ang mga ito sa gitna ng dance floor. Nginitian siya ng ama nang makita siya sa tabi nito. Hindi naman tumingin sa kanya ang asawa.
“Mr. Alejandro, may I have this turn to dance with this beautiful woman, please?”
Huminto sa pagsayaw ang kanyang ama at iniabot ang kamay ni Abbigail sa kanya. “Sure, Mr. Alejandro. Make sure you make it right this time.” Tinapik siya nito sa balikat tsaka pumisil sa kamay ni Abbigail.
“It’s time for you to be truly happy, sweetheart.” bulong ni Jaime kay Abbigail.
Marahang tumango si Abbigail, bago humawak sa braso ni Jamin para sundan ang paggalaw nito sa pagsayaw.
The music changed. He took her arms and put it on his shoulders. He looked at her eyes. She looked back. The music started. Their feet moved.
What would I do without your smart mouth
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
Their bodies swayed to the music. Their hearts beat with the insturment’s rhythm. He blinked, making sure she was real. She blinked, to stop her tears from falling.
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
His grip on her waists tightened. He pulled her closer to feel her warmth. He silently said thanks that this wasn’t just a dream. He smelt that sweet frangrance of her hair. It was relieving, heart wrenching.
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all, all of me
And you give me all, all of you
“Thank you…thank you, Rose for coming. Hindi mo alam kung gaano mo akong pinasaya. I almost died waiting for you. I was so scared that you would not come. Thank you for coming back to me.” Lalong humigpit ang pagkakayakap niya sa asawa.
“Natatakot din ako, pero mas mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita mula noon hanggang ngayon, at hindi nagbago iyon kahit kailan. I’m just waiting for you, Jamin. Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“Oh god! I love you so much!” Isiniksik niya ang ulo nito sa kanyang leeg, na para bang mawawala ito kapag lumuwang ang pagkakayakap niya.
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every move
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you
Hindi na nila namalayan na silang dalawa na lamang ang nasa dance floor. Ang lahat ng atensiyon ay nasa kanila, pinanonood ang kanilang pagmamahalan sa isa’t isa. May mga nadala sa emosyon at napaluha rin. May mga kinikilig. At may mga nalilito dahil hindi maintindihan ng mga ito kung ano ang nangyayari.
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
Pareho silang nalulunod sa mga damdaming ibinubuhos nila para sa isa’t isa. They have come a long way, and now they found each other finally. Their true hearts. The real them. And they finally accepted their confessions. There is nothing to hide anymore. No more secrets. No more lies.
Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard
Bahagyang lumayo si Abbigail, tiningala si Jamin. Napangiti nang makita ang basa niyang mukha dahil sa mga luha. Pinahid nito iyon. Kumilos din ang kamay niya para pahirin naman ang luha nito.
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you
“Let’s get ut of here,” bulong niya.
“To where?” Pagtataka nito.
“Somewhere where we can be alone.”
Saglit itong nag-isip bago napangiti. Pagkuwa’y ito na mismo ang humila ng kamay niya at nilisan nila ang dance floor. Hindi pa rin nila alintana ang mga mga matang nanonood sa kanila.
“Let’s continue the party!” sigaw ni Karen sa microphone.
Napalitan ang tugtog. Muling napuno ang dance floor ng mga sayawan.
- Writer
