HIS SECRET SIN

Part three

Watching my dad fight to stop himself from falling asleep was hilarious. His head will slowly droop to the side then he will jerk up immediately just before it hits my mum's shoulder, his eyes wide as if saying, hey I am not sleeping, and then is back to drooping again. I was finding it difficult to control the laughter that was threatening to burst out, and I almost succeeded until I looked in Josh's direction.

He was imitating dad's I am not sleeping antics. I chuckled out loud unintentionally but quickly swallowed the rest and gazed down to my feet so no one will know that the silly sound came from me. I guess someone knew

" Hey, what is funny, " the mass server beside me asked in a whisper, leaning closer to avoid being heard.

Nothing almost slipped out from my lips but my mind was quick to remember where I was. I was in God's house it will be a great sin for me to lie, especially with the cross of his son's death a few feet away.

" I am laughing at my dad trying hard not to fall asleep, " I murmured.

" Where? "

I raised my hand discretely to point my dad out in the mini large congregation. My family has their seat in the fourth roll, in the middle.

I smiled fondly when I followed my fingers to see my dad has finally lost the battle and now have his head permanently on my mum's shoulder. My mum has an amused look on her face as she listened to the preaching acting as if she isn't bothered by my dad's head on her shoulder. I can tell you she is not.

My parents are one of those sickly in love parents that even after two decades of marriage they still act happy and in love with each other. It always embarrasses us, kids, when we see them acting affectionately with one another, but secretly it pleases us.

Having parents that love one another translates to a happy home, and the fact that they share their affection not only with each other but with their kids makes our family a happy one.

I wouldn't is all roses and bright summer. We have our rainy days and thorny days. Days my parents will have such heated arguments that it gets to our knowledge.

Usually, my parents have most of their arguments in secretes that we the kids will barely know that they are fighting but there are days that it can get ugly that their shouting match drifts up to our rooms. Those days my siblings will usually come into my room scared that our parents are going to divorce.

There is nothing scarier to children than the fear of their parents breaking up the family. Things will never be the same.

Being the oldest I usually push down my fears to be there for them. Assuring them that most parents fight, but that doesn't mean they are going to get separated. We will hurdle together that night in my queen bed and wake up the next morning to my parents acting as if last night's argument was a nightmare we dreamt of last night.

Yes, they have their fights but their anger with each other has never passed a day without them reconciling their differences. This is mostly on my dad's part.

One night when we were having the boys' moment. Those are nights where dad, me, and my brothers meet in my room to talk. We will talk about different things, ranging from supports, girls, and any other thing that will trouble a guy's mind growing up. So on one of those nights I had brought up their marriage. I was curious to know what has kept them working even when most families around us are divorcing.

I can still remember vividly the fond smile that appeared on my dad's face. It was full of love and patient. Son, he began. Whoever tells you that marriage is a bed of roses is deceiving you, it is a lot of hard work where you have got to put in extra efforts to make it work and as a man who wants to have a happy home you have gotta learn how to say I am sorry.

That night, I was fourteen, Josh and Caleb six. We didn't understand his words but we nodded our heads as we did. Dad only smiled at us. You will get it someday, at least two of you. I guess he was referring to the fact that I am going to be a priest someday and will not be plagued by the troubles of marriage in the future.

At that, I believe him to be wrong. Even if my becoming a priest means I wouldn't be getting married, I am still going to have to deal with parishioners who will be going through marital problems so his teachings were for me also and I paid attention to all of his words knowing it might come in handy in future.

The sound of the choir singing the hymn for the start of the mass celebration pulled my thoughts back to the church. I stood to my feet immediately and went to the credence table to assist Fr. Benedict as he started the main celebration of mass.

When it was time for the holy communion we all knelt on the floor to receive the body of Christ. I have never missed the holy communion, not for once since my confirmation. I am a firm believer in the sacrament of the Eucharist.

I was the last on the line, so I will be the one holding the communion plate. When the priest got to me, I did the sign of the cross and opened my mouth slightly to receive the communion.

Every day I receive this I feel renewed in the spirit and not just that, I feel the rejuvenation of my body also. I quietly stood with the communion plate handed to me to follow Fr. Benedict as he administers the communion to the rest of the congregation.

At the end of the mass, I helped the other mass servers put away the things we used to officiate the mass. Once we were done I headed out to meet my family. They were conversing with Fr. Benedict at our car along with several other parishioners who came to pay their respects to the Fr.

My approach caught the eyes of the Fr., " Ah, our young priest-to-be, " he greeted with a smile and a hand to my shoulder. Some of the others standing with my family looked lost at his words so my mum was only too happy to explain.

" My son will be joining the seminary in two weeks. "

I could hear the pride in my mum's voice which matched the look on her face and my dad's. I guess to a Catholic family, having a priest in the family is almost as important an achievement as having a doctor in the house.

" Is that so, " they exclaimed looking at me in wonder. Being the shy person I was, I blushed under the heavyweight of their adoring looks wishing that something else will come up to take the attention from me, but I wasn't to be that lucky.

" I didn't know you will be joining soon son? " Fr Benedict looked at me. I just smiled and left the explanation for my parents. " Sorry, Fr. we were planning to come and inform you next weekend. We wanted you to say a prayer for him and also a mass. " My dad answered.

" That will be great. You are going to make us proud son. I know it. "

I nodded still with a polite smile on my face.

After a few more seconds of talking about me, the discussion mercifully shifted off me to other things. Other adult things so I was able to sneak away to join my siblings inside the car.

Caleb was spotting a frown as he glared in the direction where my parents stood discussing. " What is it C? " I asked sitting down beside Joshua. " He is hungry and pissed that mum and dad are wasting time talking. "

" What the hell are they talking about. The country defense, " Caleb snapped with lips shooting out into a cute pout.

" I don't know, I am hungry too. Wish they will hurry the fuck up? " Julia decides to add. " Guys no cursing. Maybe I should go say something to mum, " I offered.

My siblings all looked at me with such a grateful look that I felt like a savior who brought water to a man dying of taste.

I snuck out of the car again and crept up to my mum. Luckily she stood in a way that I could talk to her without alerting the others.

" Mum, we are hungry, " I whispered to her. She looked in the direction of the car to see my siblings spotting hungry frowny faces. " Go on baby, I will talk to your father and we will be there soon. "

True to her word, she and dad joined us a few seconds later. " About time, " Caleb grumbled from the back.

" Sorry, guys, " Dad apologized.

One of the things I love about my dad is that he apologizes when he is in the wrong, no matter to who he is that he is apologizing too. He never takes the I am adult card, so I am always right that I have seen a lot of adults do, and I try to emulate that. I apologize to my siblings anytime I am the one at fault and this encourages them to do the same if they are at fault.

When we got home, I went to help my mum get things ready for our picnic. Most of the food is already prepared last night and the cheesecake chilling in the fridge so we only have to reheat the food that needs to be heated again.

Once everything was set, I called down my siblings and we set out. When we got to the park we weren't the only families with the picnic idea. There were already families set up in the green grass field. Children running around chasing one another and other excitement in the park. The weather is certainly good for picnics. Not so sunny, not too gloomy.

Mum picked a spot for us and we spread the blanket. We brought a huge one that will accommodate all of us. First order of business, food. I believe if we delay eating any longer, Caleb is going to swallow Joshua. He has been yawning since we left the house.

Mum served us and we began to eat, moaning and complimenting mum on a job well done. At least I and dad did, the others were more focused on polishing down their food. Joshua and Julia were polishing while Caleb was wolfing down his as if scared that one of the birds hovering around the park is going to steal it from him.

It didn't take time for me to get filled. I am not a food person. My brother Caleb was quick to take my remnants.

After the main course, my mum brought out the famous cheesecake. Even though we all just ate our mouths began to water again at the sight of that beautiful creamy browness. " Who won the bet? " Mum asked, her hand poised to divide the cake.

" I did, " Joshua was quick to say. " Alright, baby, you get the lion's share. " She cut a very large size and placed it on the round plate and gave it to my brother.

Our eyes followed the huge portion like some magnets before returning to the parent cake to watch mum intently as she shared the remaining portion. Dad got a bigger portion than the rest of us except for Josh.

" Which animal eats even when he is full? " Julia asked as we enjoyed our cake.

" Caleb, " I teased. " Hey! I am not an animal, " he retorts with an affronted look before looking to his brother to give him some. He has wolfed down his share.

" My brother the plant, " Joshua teased while cutting out a small portion for him. " And the pit, " Julia added as we all laughed.

After our food, my siblings scattered to find their excitement but I relaxed back with the inspirational book I brought along. Dad went off to join the other grown men in the park while mum drifted off to the group of women not far from where our blanket lay.

While I was reading, I looked up briefly to find my siblings and make sure none was doing what they are not supposed to do. As their older brother is my duty to keep an eye on them always.

Julia was standing with an older guy and was blushing at everything the guy was saying and they stood too close for my liking. I quickly got to my feet and matched to her direction a deep scowl on my face.

My sudden appearance startled Julia. " Dan, " she gasped. But I didn't look at her but kept my glare at the guy.

" Hi, I am Blake. " He stretched out his hand with a charming smile which I didn't return. The boy finally got the memo when I felt Josh, and Caleb joins me, with the same menace look on their faces.

" What is wrong with you guys, " Julia wailed, glaring at us after the guy walked off.

" You are not supposed to be talking to guys yet, Jules, " Joshua said in a patient tone.

" And when will that be? Oh, mighty brother. "

She was being sarcastic but we answered all the same.

" Forty, " I said.

" Thirty, " Joshua answered.

" Twenty-five, " Caleb stated.

" You are all hilarious, " she snapped and walked off with a huff. My brothers and I grinned at each other before following her. We take protecting our sister seriously.